How might I describe myself? Sensualist, individualist, pilgrim, truth-seeker, mystic, sun-worshipper, body-worshipper, closet hedonist, experientialist, traveler, and history teacher (We are all so many things). I'm a lifelong lover all of nearly all things erotic, although this part of me remains mostly beneath the surface of a more average public persona. As a young adolescent, I secretly devoured the 'forum' stories of softporn mags traded clandestinely with fellow neophytes. Being interested in art, I attempted painting female nudes with an oil-paint set. Later in college, my good friend told me, an otherwise shy person, that I had a 'lust problem'. Of course he was right, and this quiet fascination has stayed with me well into adulthood. Having grown up in a culturally conservative Dutch family, I somehow thought I would grow out of this eventually. Yet now well into middle-age, the fire and desire and curiosity remains strong as ever. Experientially, is there anything more compelling or moving than creative, passion-driven sex? Or the nuanced, literary representation of it? I had to embrace the journey, reach inside an embrace this mysterious side or force within myself, almost a kind of spirituality. Each and every day life offers multiple opportunities to quietly admire someone either from a distance or more close-up, to fantasize about the possibilities or consider the rich potential, whether anything comes to fruition from such mind-activity or not. Each day can be potentially filled with numerous mini "crushes" and romantic inclinations. If only these creative flurries could be captured and saved somehow!

Interests
I'm not going to lie, although I realize this is not uncommon - for much of my life I have been fascinated and drawn to women of Asian background, with all their ethnic and regional backgrounds. I can't explain exactly why. I realize there are unfounded and unfair stereotypes and objectifications. I want to believe that I'm intelligent and sensitive enough to look beyond all these and recognize something transcendent, definitely complex; something exceptional that may have little or nothing to do with sexuality. Yet, I also cannot deny that I find the limitless variety of Asian women to be truly beautiful, and often worshipful. I do recognize and admire the beauty of women from all parts of the world, and can find inspiration from them as well. Again, it's a mystery to me - if given a choice of erotic stories to read or images to gaze upon, my natural inclination is to gravitate toward those represented by the vast continent of Asia. I think somehow that potentially I have a few good stories deep within myself that are waiting to be released, liberated, and written; from both the well-spring of my imagination and also personal experience.