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julynn
Over 90 days ago
Straight Female
United States
Forum
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Maggiecat
babygirllew i love men who protect women period....im not lonely not on this site....and i dont see anything wrong with what i want i have gotten so many responces to my add.
I see no reason for the rooms to be filled with Estrogen and Testosterone fits in "Protecting" each other when Gav has supplied us with the tools to just block and not disrupt the rooms with lil playground fights when it all can be avoided.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by SeaSiren
Please everyone be mindful/careful who you trust HERE. Ask lots of questions & even ask the more seasoned members. There is certainly a fraud in our midst!
Very true!!! As in R/L there is always the chance that what you are told and shown isn't true. Trust in your instincts and if things do not add up the start asking questions. Even if you aren't a submissive and in the lifestyle always ask. There is no harm in asking trust your instincts if the answer doesn't add up and remember only you can decide in the end how to proceed.
On line is so much easier to be who one wishes to be but doesn't necessarily make it true. One can be defined by their actions, anybody can claim a status and such but judging by their actions may or may not be true.
Being a submissive does not equal door mat you have a say you have a mouth use it and a Dominate One should be always willing to guide and teach, but to say "Cause i say so" isn't an answer when they should be guiding and instructing. It's not the sub that fails but the Dominate One that fails the sub.
Active Ink Slinger
I look in here all the time and would love to see people post more about what they want not just ...need sub message me....sighs...i know i wouldn't message somebody if i was looking for a Master with just that lil bit of words.
Before i message someone i would like to know more...what are you seeking, what are expectations, are you polly, do you want an exclusive...see where i'm going with this...just saying would be nice if people put more effect in their post...just my opinion nothing more.....
Before i message someone i would like to know more...what are you seeking, what are expectations, are you polly, do you want an exclusive...see where i'm going with this...just saying would be nice if people put more effect in their post...just my opinion nothing more.....
hmm thinking...;) Active Ink Slinger
Quote by PersonalAssistant
Hey Jers .... because you quoted me, it certainly LOOKED like you were making a statement directed at me.
Maybe you need to go back and read the original post i made...seems you stopped just short of the last sentence.
As i'm very much enjoying the post i will do just that and read the words written not assume just cause a part of my post is mentioned that i'm being attacked...enjoy your coffee and please if you have anything to add to the thread, please do.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by PersonalAssistant
Who poked fun? Who posted inappropriate things??
Certainly it wasn't me, when my comment was in agreement with OMKN.
Relax ... enjoy ... smile. Smiles look good on everyone!!
Did i say you did... hmm in fact i believe i said you didn't, i was just making a statement...here have a cup of coffee, a chill pill and relax.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by PersonalAssistant
It enlightens me. bdsm is not my lifestyle, and neither is lgbt ... but I can and will comment with my opinion, when I read something that I want to comment on.
I guess all anybody is saying here is please respect the location that you are in. It's understood that not everybody will agree on any type of subject and of course everybody is welcome to post their thoughts. What is asked is that people respect the location they are visiting. The purpose is to educate and give a new understanding. What isn't appreciated is when people poke fun at or post inappropriate things.
I'm not saying that is the case here just making a statement that pertains to all Forum threads and posts.
Active Ink Slinger
As Ravyn pointed out each relationship is different. Each should express their wants and desires. This isn't a dictatorship (well depending on what type of relationship you want). A true Dom/me won't run around and do things cause they can they have a need and want to please their submissive and any that says "cause i can" is full of something.
If it's agreed that B/both will be strictly with each other then if one strays that is cheating as in any other relationship. Once trust is lost then it's hard to get it back and most fail in the end after it's lost. This lifestyle isn't a cookie cutter mold it's about talking and finding out what both parties want and need from it. Can't ever stress the importance of Communication. It's talked about more in the lifestyle then most i've seen and it's shame as many relationships might survive if people did communicate better.
If it's agreed that B/both will be strictly with each other then if one strays that is cheating as in any other relationship. Once trust is lost then it's hard to get it back and most fail in the end after it's lost. This lifestyle isn't a cookie cutter mold it's about talking and finding out what both parties want and need from it. Can't ever stress the importance of Communication. It's talked about more in the lifestyle then most i've seen and it's shame as many relationships might survive if people did communicate better.
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A person has to allow another to dominate them. A Dom/me can not force a submissive as submission is a gift and as such should be treated as the highest form of honor in a D/s relationship. It's the submissive that decides who is a Dominate as without a submissive who will the Dominate dominate. The submissive holds a lot of power but not to top from the bottom. A submissive should not try to control the relationship by manipulation. It's an honor to give your submission and a greater honor to receive it.
Submission should never be forced but freely given as well as it shouldn't be used as a bargaining tool for either parties to get your way.
Respect is a two way street and as such should be earned not just given because of a title. I have met many Doms that would not allow Sir to be given to them unless it was earned. In this regard it may come down to what one was taught. Some automatic give the title in a show of acknowledging the status while some were taught to only give to their Dom/me. Neither is right nor wrong, mostly a preference and respect given to their training.
Submission should never be forced but freely given as well as it shouldn't be used as a bargaining tool for either parties to get your way.
Respect is a two way street and as such should be earned not just given because of a title. I have met many Doms that would not allow Sir to be given to them unless it was earned. In this regard it may come down to what one was taught. Some automatic give the title in a show of acknowledging the status while some were taught to only give to their Dom/me. Neither is right nor wrong, mostly a preference and respect given to their training.
Active Ink Slinger
I understand that this is an Adult site but in MY opinion and this is just me saying this. I'm who i am, my submission is for me and whom i serve. I don't feel the need to run around the rooms and forums proclaiming this is who or what i am. My submission doesn't define me only but it is who i am.
I believe that some go very deep into the lifestyle and that is what defines them the most. Others i believe are living a fantasy here online and thinks that maybe being a Dom or Mistress will make them "special" or give them rights to say and do anything they please. Which couldn't be further from the truth. A Dom/Mistress are carrying, honorable and doesn't need to announce who or what they are to gain respect, by their actions it will show.
One doesn't need to act like the big person on campus to be a Dom/Mistress. I also see a lot of people claiming a status that takes years to gain after training and observing and living it rather online or for real. You don't just wake up one day and claim "Hey i'm a Master or Ma'am" and be successful. Just like anything in life there is research, training and learning. A submissive puts their trust in a Dom/me and if they aren't properly trained can do mental and physical damage. This is a risk no matter what but just plain scary with one that self proclaims a status without working their way up to that title that was EARNED.
Part of a Dom/mes duty to the submissive is to train them to be the best submissive that they can be to show them what is acceptable and what isn't with them. With one Dom/me is acceptable but to another isn't so there is always learning. To a submissive there should be no grater fail then to disappoint their Dom/me. That is the worst feeling and punishment should never be fun. The punishment is there to also guide you and many think it's a thrill or turn on for a Dom/me. It's not it hurts them just as much as the submissive failed and they are having to correct the submissive. Will a submissive mess up YES, will a submissive need guidance A big ol' hell yes. All this is part of the package. But without being shown the way who's fault is it really??? ~whispers~ the correct answer is the Dom/me. To be a Dom/me is more then having a someone to order around it's a deep connection, to put your trust into each other and know that the Dom/mes would never hurt you and that it hurts them as well.
I see so many examples of people using a title to berate and exploit others. This goes both ways as Dom/mes and submissive. If this is role play for a couple then that's fine but say that, there is nothing wrong with fantasy but remember there is somebody on the other end of those words. Just cause you see words does not make it alright to harass and play an evil game with the person on the other end. Always keep in mind that people behind the words do have feelings as words hurt and cause emotional scaring...It happens in not only the BDSM community but in All others as well. Respect that is one of the main ingredients to this lifestyle and should be in others.
Your right there is more to a person but we may not always show it as well. Some people are private and needs it brought out while others proudly claim who they are as well what interest them. I have interest on my profile and sometimes will discuss them in a room or with others. I tend to just flow with different topics but since this is an adult site many just jump past the niceties and go right for the Velcro community. You can't judge a lifestyle by a few. ( which I very much understand wasn't the case here) each to their own and in the end it's just figuring out which is which in terms of fantasy and believing. Just my thoughts..
Sorry got on a roll up there and went with a thought....
I believe that some go very deep into the lifestyle and that is what defines them the most. Others i believe are living a fantasy here online and thinks that maybe being a Dom or Mistress will make them "special" or give them rights to say and do anything they please. Which couldn't be further from the truth. A Dom/Mistress are carrying, honorable and doesn't need to announce who or what they are to gain respect, by their actions it will show.
One doesn't need to act like the big person on campus to be a Dom/Mistress. I also see a lot of people claiming a status that takes years to gain after training and observing and living it rather online or for real. You don't just wake up one day and claim "Hey i'm a Master or Ma'am" and be successful. Just like anything in life there is research, training and learning. A submissive puts their trust in a Dom/me and if they aren't properly trained can do mental and physical damage. This is a risk no matter what but just plain scary with one that self proclaims a status without working their way up to that title that was EARNED.
Part of a Dom/mes duty to the submissive is to train them to be the best submissive that they can be to show them what is acceptable and what isn't with them. With one Dom/me is acceptable but to another isn't so there is always learning. To a submissive there should be no grater fail then to disappoint their Dom/me. That is the worst feeling and punishment should never be fun. The punishment is there to also guide you and many think it's a thrill or turn on for a Dom/me. It's not it hurts them just as much as the submissive failed and they are having to correct the submissive. Will a submissive mess up YES, will a submissive need guidance A big ol' hell yes. All this is part of the package. But without being shown the way who's fault is it really??? ~whispers~ the correct answer is the Dom/me. To be a Dom/me is more then having a someone to order around it's a deep connection, to put your trust into each other and know that the Dom/mes would never hurt you and that it hurts them as well.
I see so many examples of people using a title to berate and exploit others. This goes both ways as Dom/mes and submissive. If this is role play for a couple then that's fine but say that, there is nothing wrong with fantasy but remember there is somebody on the other end of those words. Just cause you see words does not make it alright to harass and play an evil game with the person on the other end. Always keep in mind that people behind the words do have feelings as words hurt and cause emotional scaring...It happens in not only the BDSM community but in All others as well. Respect that is one of the main ingredients to this lifestyle and should be in others.
Your right there is more to a person but we may not always show it as well. Some people are private and needs it brought out while others proudly claim who they are as well what interest them. I have interest on my profile and sometimes will discuss them in a room or with others. I tend to just flow with different topics but since this is an adult site many just jump past the niceties and go right for the Velcro community. You can't judge a lifestyle by a few. ( which I very much understand wasn't the case here) each to their own and in the end it's just figuring out which is which in terms of fantasy and believing. Just my thoughts..
Sorry got on a roll up there and went with a thought....
sorry mine mine mine...um...did i mention mine???
Active Ink Slinger
Ok, we have your measurements but how about telling us about you. How long have you been in the lifestyle, if your new what your limits are. Advertise and market yourself to make a Dom or Mistress want to talk to you. Btw saying you will do pretty much anything is kinda scary. All submissive need limits.
BTW we have a forum post ^ that is a thread for All Those Seeking a Master/Mistress or a submissive please post here.
BTW we have a forum post ^ that is a thread for All Those Seeking a Master/Mistress or a submissive please post here.
Active Ink Slinger
Here Here well said!!! Amen to A/all that have posted above.
I have seen so many claim a status that they have no clue, understanding or knowledge of. For Dom/mes it also takes training of some kind nobody wakes up and says i'm going to take a submissive and know what to do with them and how to protect, nurture and guide them without first learning. I personally want to know how long One has been in the lifestyle, how many submissive, why they separated, what kind of training was involved, rules, punishments and so on.
Another thing is that overlooked is the submissive and how they act in public. A submissive is a representative of their Dom/mes. I have seen some horrendous behavior that i look at the Dom/me and respect shifts depending how the situation is handled. A submissive learns from their Dom/mes in all ways from talking to punishment. I see a submissive show no respect to the One they have given their submission to and I see a Dom/me run around chasing them. No submissive should like punishment as that means they have disappointed their One they gave their submission to. To disappoint should be the worst feeling. A submissive should strive to always make their Dom/me's proud.
There is a huge difference between Cocky know it all and one that is approachable, considerate and doesn't think they are above others. A good Dom/me educates and helps the submissive grow.
Anybody can claim a status but how you present yourself is how you are judged worthy of that title.
I have seen so many claim a status that they have no clue, understanding or knowledge of. For Dom/mes it also takes training of some kind nobody wakes up and says i'm going to take a submissive and know what to do with them and how to protect, nurture and guide them without first learning. I personally want to know how long One has been in the lifestyle, how many submissive, why they separated, what kind of training was involved, rules, punishments and so on.
Another thing is that overlooked is the submissive and how they act in public. A submissive is a representative of their Dom/mes. I have seen some horrendous behavior that i look at the Dom/me and respect shifts depending how the situation is handled. A submissive learns from their Dom/mes in all ways from talking to punishment. I see a submissive show no respect to the One they have given their submission to and I see a Dom/me run around chasing them. No submissive should like punishment as that means they have disappointed their One they gave their submission to. To disappoint should be the worst feeling. A submissive should strive to always make their Dom/me's proud.
There is a huge difference between Cocky know it all and one that is approachable, considerate and doesn't think they are above others. A good Dom/me educates and helps the submissive grow.
Anybody can claim a status but how you present yourself is how you are judged worthy of that title.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by sottomesso
MistressS thanks for all the info.
I'm a sub looking for a trustworthy Dom. Haven't been successful .
Finding the right Dom takes time, it's not like going to the store and pulling one off the shelf. It can take a long time to find the perfect fit for your needs. Key is to be patient. Never meet and take a Dom/me collar within a few mins or hours of meeting. It takes time to build the trust use that time to really get to know them. Velcro collars are so wild.
When talking with a potential Dom ask questions. Never be afraid to ask questions if they are reluctant to answer or you feel you they aren't giving you clear answers then that is the first flag that they may not be for you. Trust your instincts if you get that feeling then listen to it. Many times your instincts are correct and will save you from future hurts.
Make the conversation like an interview cause they are asking you questions as a potential mate to them and you should learn about their limits (hard and soft) as well. There isn't a lot of talk of a Dom/me's limits but they have them as well and if your limits aren't compatible then probably the relationship isn't as well.
Always be true to yourself and be true to them.
Sorry had a thought and just went with it....
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One important thing to remember if one does move into a Polly relationship that there is NO room for jealousy. To agree to a Polly relationship means sharing and if you have reservations then decide what is more important to you. Always be true to yourself no matter what. If you enter it cause your Dom/me wants and demands it and your not comfortable with it then that is a recipe for disaster. I've seen so many subs get the lil green eyed monster on their shoulders and then holly hades the drama start.
Polly relationships aren't for everybody but know who you are and what you want. If you are a one on one person then make sure your wishes are heard and understood that may in the long run save your relationship and lots of days and nights being hurt.
Polly relationships aren't for everybody but know who you are and what you want. If you are a one on one person then make sure your wishes are heard and understood that may in the long run save your relationship and lots of days and nights being hurt.
Active Ink Slinger
Everybody has something that turns them on. With that being said as long as it's Sane, Safe and Consensual we don't have to understand what turns another on. Just knowing what turns us on is all that really matters. Find the person that has the same likes as you do and let others do their thing as you do yours. Part of being human is not understanding.....just saying