The locals think we’re crazy. It’s only April, you see, and to them this is still coat weather. They see me in my sundress and you in short sleeves and think, 'O Lord, mad dogs and Englishmen.' Then they shiver just looking at us and turn their eyes away. If they saw us now they’d faint: I’m stripped down to a cute two-piece bikini, the one you said was the only thing redder than my hair. I like deep, vivid colours when I...