“Hero brother saves his twin sisters… see, I told you, you’re a hero. It’s there on the front page of the country bumkin gazette. It must be true,” Ava said to me the first morning we arrived at the cottage. “Ava, stop it. I’m no hero.” “James, are you warm enough?” “Yes, thank you, Isla. And what’s with calling me James all of a sudden? You sound like Mum.” “Sorry, Jim.” “Have you taken your tablets?” “No, I need to eat...

Part 2 I had that awful, fleeting panic when you wake up in a strange room and don’t know where you are. It was pitch black too, which didn’t help. I tapped my phone until it lit up and told me it was nearly half-past eight in the evening. I was desperate for a pee and feeling rested and somewhat better, I ventured to the bathroom by myself. The girls would tell me off if they knew I was up and about like this so I tried...

I am now officially allowed out of bed. How sad is my life that this is as exciting as fucking my twin sisters? Okay, maybe not quite as exciting but I am seriously happy to be up and about again. I feel much better, I have no pain anymore, just the hassle of the casts on my leg and arm and the stitches in my head. I can even put some weight on my bad leg if I use the cane they gave me. I’ve not taken any painkillers eith...

If getting out of bed yesterday was exciting then going into the village today felt like an event of epic proportions. The twins were putting a lot of preparation into it, everything was arranged with military-style planning that our parents would be proud of. We even had covert signs for danger and a backup rendezvous should we get split up. To ensure I stayed warm they wrapped me up in so many layers I could hardly move...