At age 19 guys my age often aren't hugely mature, particularly at my university with girls at a high marjority, around 75% girls. I guess for some people it seems like 'easy pickings' on a night out.
They're a lot of fun to hang out with but I can't say I'm particularly attracted to them.
As for older guys, I'm only just considered an adult, so someone who is 10-15 years older than me seems a little strange, but guys who are maybe 5 years older or so, in their mid-20's feel about right. Not too old for me.
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CaseyGrae
Over 90 days ago
Bisexual Female, 30
Spain
Forum
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by Wardog
straights wear sexy clothing TO be SEEN and appreciated by MALES.
With this you are saying that the purpose of women is to appease men, there is no regard for her brain or abilities in the real world. I don't wear tight jeans or a low cut top with the intention of attracting males, far less to please some man I pass in the street. If I am in a relationship with a man it's a different story, the dynamics change because there is mutual respect and abilities and personality are valued.
Quote by Wardog
you KNOW what to expect ...WHEN YOU PUT THEM ON!
Should we expect this though? For example, would you want your daughter or sister to be merely seen as a sex object, which is at the moment what you seem to be inferring about women. I don't want to live in a world which sexualises and objectifies women no matter what they accomplish, which if you look in the media is exactly what you see.
Advanced Wordsmith
I wanted to give a real and informed answer to the best of my ability, it's quite long and may seem to go off topic a little, but stay with me, sometimes I find it difficult to refine and word my thoughts and ideas! Just to clarify, this is not a commentary on all men, nor am I saying that women are squeaky clean and guilt-free of this, but it is a brief(ish) opinion which hopefully answers the question in relation to stereotypical male attitudes towards women which have been influenced by the media. I'm sure there will be people who disagree, which is fine. This is just one point of view.
I believe that through media input our society has influenced many boys and men to become emotionally illiterate due to the constant message that to be a "real man" you must be tough, "masculine" - whatever that's supposed to mean-, and without emotional expression. Of course I am not a man, and I do not speak for all men with this comment but I know many men who simply cannot talk about their emotions, or mock those who can and do talk about emotion and feeling. Women are guilty of this too, I'm not saying this mockery is one-sided, I am saying it's unhealthy.
I believe that as a consequence of the media's influence many people believe that men are only interested in women for sex, and self gratification, in my experience this really isn't the case. I'm only 19, spare me, I'm not hugely worldly-wise! However, I think it's almost an expectation that men, starting at a young age, are solely interested in women for sex. I believe that we are all heavily influenced by media to believe this is the case and we are actively encouraged to think this way. Advertisements for beer, cars and almost anything aimed at men usually involves a beautiful girl, scantily clad, which objectifies her in order to sell a product. Then, take a look at adverts which aim to sell products for women, it's all about appearance and changing yourself, in order to attain the "perfect guy".
I think that our society puts so much pressure on every individual that it's hard to think. I am a feminist, I believe in equality between men and women, yet even so I find I make judgements on others based on attributes which really shouldn't be an issue. We all do it, and it's incredibly hard to stop doing so. Relating this back to your question, I think that many men don't realise that they objectify women because it's so easily done. From making a quick comment about a woman's beauty or body, to wolf-whistling at her, to shouting sexual comments at women in the street, and this is an influence of the media. The message that "It's ok to wolf-whistle women, they like the male attention, that's what they crave." which in turn provides the idea that men only think with sex in mind.
I'm sorry if this seems badly thought out, I'm very tired and like I said, I find ideas hard to refine sometimes, Also, I send apologies for the fact that it was a bit long, but well done if you made it to the end!
- G
I believe that through media input our society has influenced many boys and men to become emotionally illiterate due to the constant message that to be a "real man" you must be tough, "masculine" - whatever that's supposed to mean-, and without emotional expression. Of course I am not a man, and I do not speak for all men with this comment but I know many men who simply cannot talk about their emotions, or mock those who can and do talk about emotion and feeling. Women are guilty of this too, I'm not saying this mockery is one-sided, I am saying it's unhealthy.
I believe that as a consequence of the media's influence many people believe that men are only interested in women for sex, and self gratification, in my experience this really isn't the case. I'm only 19, spare me, I'm not hugely worldly-wise! However, I think it's almost an expectation that men, starting at a young age, are solely interested in women for sex. I believe that we are all heavily influenced by media to believe this is the case and we are actively encouraged to think this way. Advertisements for beer, cars and almost anything aimed at men usually involves a beautiful girl, scantily clad, which objectifies her in order to sell a product. Then, take a look at adverts which aim to sell products for women, it's all about appearance and changing yourself, in order to attain the "perfect guy".
I think that our society puts so much pressure on every individual that it's hard to think. I am a feminist, I believe in equality between men and women, yet even so I find I make judgements on others based on attributes which really shouldn't be an issue. We all do it, and it's incredibly hard to stop doing so. Relating this back to your question, I think that many men don't realise that they objectify women because it's so easily done. From making a quick comment about a woman's beauty or body, to wolf-whistling at her, to shouting sexual comments at women in the street, and this is an influence of the media. The message that "It's ok to wolf-whistle women, they like the male attention, that's what they crave." which in turn provides the idea that men only think with sex in mind.
I'm sorry if this seems badly thought out, I'm very tired and like I said, I find ideas hard to refine sometimes, Also, I send apologies for the fact that it was a bit long, but well done if you made it to the end!
- G
Advanced Wordsmith
I wear what I want to wear. I don't wear clothes specifically so that guys look at me in the street, I'm not an object for the pleasure of others. I wear clothes which I like, I find flattering on me and make me feel good.
Of course sometimes objectification occurs within a relationship where one person wants to please the other by looking, dressing or acting a certain way, but as long as it's a two way street and not a constant stream, I think that it can be healthy.
Of course sometimes objectification occurs within a relationship where one person wants to please the other by looking, dressing or acting a certain way, but as long as it's a two way street and not a constant stream, I think that it can be healthy.
Advanced Wordsmith
I've never sent naked pictures to a lushie. I would much rather send them to someone I know that I can trust! If the person I'm seeing asks for naked pictures and I trust them enough then yes, I like to send them. Not going to send naked pictures to a stranger on the internet though...
Advanced Wordsmith
I prefer sexting or using video chat to phone sex. With sexting I can word myself better as I've a little bit longer to think about it, and keep him in suspense. Though using video chat is definitely the best (apart from when it freezes, awkward), you get the visual aspect of it which is fun. Watching them and seeing their reactions... Fun stuff. (;
I only sext the person I'm seeing or in a relationship with. Sexting strangers or cybering over lush or whatever just doesn't do it for me. When it's someone I know and have already had the intimacy with it's easier because you have a mutual understanding, plus it actually turns me on! Sexting a stranger just seems a bit too fake and generic.
I love sending messages at slightly inappropriate times to him, like when he is at work and we're seeing each other later... Give him something a little more interesting to think about!
I only sext the person I'm seeing or in a relationship with. Sexting strangers or cybering over lush or whatever just doesn't do it for me. When it's someone I know and have already had the intimacy with it's easier because you have a mutual understanding, plus it actually turns me on! Sexting a stranger just seems a bit too fake and generic.
I love sending messages at slightly inappropriate times to him, like when he is at work and we're seeing each other later... Give him something a little more interesting to think about!
Advanced Wordsmith
If a person requests to be my friend and they have more than two words in the request I'll check out their profile and then more than likely accept. However if we don't talk then I'll delete them. Which is why it appears that I have added many people but my friend list is pretty short.
Advanced Wordsmith
This maybe something completely different to what she is feeling, but I was in a very similar position to this when I was younger, with my first boyfriend. Although I wanted to, I never gave him oral and I didn't want him to do it to me. I had zero confidence and I was scared because of my lack of experience and what he might say/think if I tried, this extended to having such little confidence I couldn't let him see me naked. I've grown up a little bit since then and I can voice myself, and can see more clearly now.
I'm just putting this thought forward because of certain similarities, for example, I couldn't talk about sex - I was too embarrassed. I'm sorry that I can't really give you any advice because I had to change myself, it wasn't about the other person, but good luck!
I'm just putting this thought forward because of certain similarities, for example, I couldn't talk about sex - I was too embarrassed. I'm sorry that I can't really give you any advice because I had to change myself, it wasn't about the other person, but good luck!
Advanced Wordsmith
I told my ex straight up that I had an account here, I wanted to be open about it. If he had an issue with it, that was his problem to deal with. Plus I knew he probably watched porn. So I introduced him to the site, he made an account and is still here. Obviously, different relationship, not as serious as marriage, but were I in a long-term, deeply committed relationship I would still tell that person. From personal experience it can really help with inspiration :P