Quote by Metilda
Why bondage?
That's not something that MOST people are interested in. That's only for a select few. It takes a relaxed atmosphere and trust at first. It's a mega step. To a lot of people that's not spice, that's submission, and it can be uncomfortable or scary.
When you said 'I want to spice things up' I imagined the use of toys, ice, going outside, public fun. Bondage did not come to mind.
Odds are it doesn't come to her mind, either. What are her views in that sort of thing? Have you even talked about it? Just a conversation about interests in sex without you trying to pressure her into agreeing to anything?
So that makes me want to ask you: what is vanilla sex to you and why is Bondage the only thing you want too try? Why aren't you thinkin if how to increase pleasure? Once you get her tied up then what? Surely you're not going to just have vanilla sex in cuffs, babe.
Being tied up requires deep connection and trust. If you haven't had just a conversation about it then you both need to work on being a closer couple together.
I never said that bondage was the only thing I wanted, I was only talking about that one suggestion, which I did state I had other ideas. I didn't want to write an essay of every thing I've suggested. I also said in my post that I volunteered to be the one tied, and yes we have had discussions, problem being that she dismisses the topic. What I had asked was for any suggestions on talking to my gf about this in a way in which she may open up to me and we can come to some mutual understanding on the number of things I think would be good to try, and find out if there's anything she's interested in as well. We are a close couple, she's the only woman I've been with longer than a year and going on 4 years now. I wouldn't even have suggested something like hand tying or blindfolding if we didn't have that kind of trust. When I said 'long time' in my post, did you think I meant 'some girl I met last week' or something? Finally, yes I am aware there's more to it than just handcuffs, I'm not some 13 year old that saw it in a magazine and thought 'oh that's cool.' Honestly, just read someone's post fully next time and you can perhaps construct a useful response.
Thank you to Naughty Nurse and Lustorlush, I have mentioned things from time to time, I do worry about when and how I bring up the topic, because once I did feel like I was badgering her. I'm just having to wait on really discussing this with her right now because of an on going family issue she's dealing with and day to day her mood changes. Even if she is in the mood for sex, it doesn't feel like the time to say 'hey let's have a full discussion on our feelings about things we'd like to try in bed.'
I really hope this doesn't become a real issue for us, because it's not even like I've done most of what I'm suggesting and the only way I can get it up is if I got a corkscew up my ass, lol. I just know they sound fun, and if we don't like it, least we tried, and anything we do enjoy simply adds to our fun. I hope I can communicate that to her clearly and she can give me insight on how she feels about all of it.