I like both... but my highest preference is women who are healthy, so like WellMade said... in the middle. I like women who take some care in their appearance, but prefer they have some curve to them. Healthy, but not anorexic. Curvy, but not fat.
In my journey to establish myself as an author (which only began a a couple years ago)... I learned a few tricks of the trade from several published authors, journalists and editors/publishers. (and a note to anyone wanting to go pro. 1.) its hard. 2.) The day you think you're good enough is the day your writing career takes an irrevocable nose-dive. You never stop learning. There is no such thing as good enough. IMHO)... anyway...
Whether or not a sentence is masculine, is more in the word choices and sentence structure (verb conjugation and crap like that). Us guys like to think it's all about length, *lol* but it's not. Word economy is one of the trademarks that separates published and unpublished. In today's market, editors look for a writer's ability to convey a story, with the least amount of words, without losing their voice or any dynamics of the manuscript. Today, they see adverbs as a bad thing. Overuse of pronouns, adjectives and adverbs are all seen as amateur mistakes. It wasn't always this way.
If you read the classics, you'll find the sentences lengths are quite different than what you'll find on the best sellers list today. Back when Hemingway, Tolstoy, Austen and other lit masters, were published, the readership was much different than it is today. But what is the same is, that what is marketable will dictate what is good writing, not what lit-snobs think is good writing. I hear authors gripe all the time about Meyers, Brown and Steele... yet, these authors railroad their way to the top sellers list, because they weave stories people enjoy. Their writing, on a technical point of view, may lack some, but they are marketable and so all other authors will be judged against them. Fair? *shrugs* .. its just the way it works.
It also depends greatly on the genre you're writing. In romance, you can get away with a lot more adverbs than you can with a thriller. Romances tend to have longer, flowing sentences: a style often referred to as 'purple prose'. Where a military action thriller, has short action sentences most of the time, and long hyper-detailed sentences when it comes to the warfare tools... etc... each genre has its own range. Each author has their own voice, but there are expectations of each that any author wishing to sell in, must try to abide as much as their voice and muse will allow.
*nod nod* I find it degrading to women. I know porn is geared toward a male audience, but the Japanese porn just goes over the top, IMHO. I haven't seen any I enjoyed. Maria really is beautiful though.
I didn't read the whole thing, but if you want readers to remain engaged, aside the grammatical errors, spelling errors and punctuation issues. A few things I did notice right away. Your tense and point of view fluctuate. Its confusing to a reader when they are blurred, blending and staggered throughout a story. Pick one tense, one POV (for instance, you have several places where your 1st person narration is describing what the girl is feeling. from "his" POV, he doesn't know how it feels to her.) You have a lot of passive verbs, mixed with "telling" sentences, where you should be showing.
Grammar and spelling can be fixed, so I wouldn't worry about that if your intention is to revise this. First, clean up your points of view. Fix your tense. Next, concentrate on re-writing all your telling sentences, replacing them with showing sentences. If you can fix the story, the grammar is much less of an issue. Lastly, and I don't mean to be insulting, based on what I've seen of your grammar, I would cut and paste this into a word processor that has grammar and spelling check. At your apparent level, I would trust the word processor's recommendations for the first revision. After that, you should have a relatively workable manuscript.
Don't sweat it... I'm a published author and grammar is my bane, too! *lol* But it has to be readable and yours crosses that line. Few will ever know if the story is interesting, because the writing is plagued with errors.
(this post alone should be proof how lousy my grammar is. *lol*)
What? No Jasmine? *is sad*
tennis shoes at home most of the time. Sometimes socks. To work, I wear tennis shoes or loafers and for going out on the town, I wear boots.
I was a bit of a man-whore, in my early years! *lol* After high school, I had five girls I was sort of seeing at the time I set my sights on my future wife. I let them know about each other. I was the type to maneuver behind a girl's back. When I decided my wife was the one, thee one... I dropped them and quit my multiple girlfriend ways.
I like Connery, but Moore was my fav. The rest weren't all that great.
These ae fantastic! Thank you everyone for sharing. I've always preferred elegant sensuality over blatant in-your-face porn! *lol*
Thank you, I truly appreciate the feedback. The elusive happy medium between fantasy and reality... well, it still eludes me. But I do manage to please most of my readers. As mentioned, it comes up often as feedback, so I'm still working at perfecting that aspect.
Hello, I'm an author of erotic romance and I have several readers who proof my work before I submit the manuscripts to my publishers. One of the things that seems to keep coming up in the valuable critique they offer is that my heroines tend to orgasm too often. A few have mentioned it throws them out of the story due to the incredulous unbelievability of the frequency of orgasms.
So, my question for the women here is... how many is crossing the line of reality? My intimate scenes usually have between five and ten orgasms between the hero and heroine at each encounter, with the majority going to the heroine.
My personal experience in real life is jaded,because my wife comes 5-10 times when we make love. But she is very susceptible to orgasm, and after 18 years, I've learned her body well. So I understand that 10 O's might be excessive. At the same time, it is important for the readers to immerse themselves into the fantasy. But... like mentioned above, I don't want to throw anyone out of the story if the frequency is too much.
Any thoughts, info, personal beliefs/experiences anyone wishes to share, would be greatly appreciated.
Brindle Chase
