Sitting here in Bates motel
the Master has gone missing
I guess he's wandered out somewhere
who knows he could be...
takin' it easy know what I mean?
not jackin', not jillin', just sittin' and chillin'
he's not bothered by what we're a thinkin'
I bet he's just slowly holdin' and fillin'
some trusty ole bucket and findin' it thrillin'
he fills up a kettle with cool water drops
who knows he might even drop in some hops
to boil up the mixture and start it fermentin'
then leave for a while he might be inventin'
some new form of beer for us all to drink here
at Master Bates' Motel and bar
so don't rush off too quick now you hear?
amble around like you've always been here
don't give in to fear but keep yourself near
till Master Bates comes in to hand us the gear
and his mummy as well is upstairs in her room
sittin' and spinnin' on her little loom
but it's dusty in there it could do with a broom
to brush all the cobwebs away
so the Master he leaves us
not that it grieves us
to service his ole mummy's needs
she calls to her son
to give her some fun
so he rolls her up some of his weed
the smoke and the smell are what we can tell
are causin' the titters 'n gigglin'
well that was just swell till he tripped and he fell
down the stairs and started to nigglin'
'bout the pain in his back
where he squashed his ole sack
the one he keeps all of his stash in
but don't feel guilty coz his sack is empty
he smoked all his stash at one sittin'
now he's rantin' an' ravin'
'bout how he'd been savin'
it all up for sweet Mary Lou
coz when she comes round
there's never a sound
just a pair of broad smiles when they're through
so we quietly leave
laughin' all up our sleeves
coz we don't want to cause any trouble
but his mum and his girl
meet up by the till
and then they go into a huddle
they both want his seed
(the ones from his weed!)
that he grows in the attic at night
the way we found out
was when we heard a shout
coz he'd backed himself into a light
the heat from the lamp
mixed with the damp
had caused his rear ending to sizzle
and he cried out in pain
he won't do it again
but if you believe that you can whistle
Master Bates is a comin'
of that we are certain
we can hear as he's poundin' the stairs
he's a scratchin' his itchin'
and I get the feelin'
that none of us here really cares
his stash is all gone
there's no reason for us to
keep hangin' around all the time
and the motel is closed now
and we'll never know how
to grow our own stash, it's a crime
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BJintheUK
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 74
0 miles · London
Forum
Active Ink Slinger
Hello,
Just a couple of problems I've run into on the site. I only ever access Lush on my Windows PC, and I've noticed a few oddities since you started changing things.
1. There is no longer an option for me to log in to Lush, I seem to be permanently logged in on my PC.
2. When replying to messages from other members there is no longer the option to add an emoji into the reply. I miss this particular feature as I used to use it all the time.
3. The option to right click on a member's avatar and select open in new tab has gone.
If I notice any more anomolies I'll post them up as well as soon as I notice them.
Just a couple of problems I've run into on the site. I only ever access Lush on my Windows PC, and I've noticed a few oddities since you started changing things.
1. There is no longer an option for me to log in to Lush, I seem to be permanently logged in on my PC.
2. When replying to messages from other members there is no longer the option to add an emoji into the reply. I miss this particular feature as I used to use it all the time.
3. The option to right click on a member's avatar and select open in new tab has gone.
If I notice any more anomolies I'll post them up as well as soon as I notice them.
Active Ink Slinger
Ooops!
I'm very sorry for upsetting anyone by posting the scene that's been removed.
The point of the scene was to show the difference between the motivations of the nervous teacher and the surly pupil. I felt this could only be done by using 'head hopping' in order to get inside both their heads as the scene unfolded. The build up to the eventual explosive conclusion could clearly be seen by examining the entirely different motivations driving each character, and this could only be accomplished by switching views from one protagonist to the other.
I'm sure purists will say that the scene should have been written from the point of view of just one of the characters, with the other's motivation being seen purely from outside, but I wanted to compare and contrast the two as the scene was progressing so that the reader would be able to better understand where each of them were coming from, and what each took away from the encounter.
I may try to write a different scene that complies with the terms and conditions of the Lush site in order to illustrate the point I was making, but unfortunately it will have to wait a few days as I have other things to attend to at the moment.
Best regards to all, and once again my apologies to the moderators for breaking site rules.
I'm very sorry for upsetting anyone by posting the scene that's been removed.
The point of the scene was to show the difference between the motivations of the nervous teacher and the surly pupil. I felt this could only be done by using 'head hopping' in order to get inside both their heads as the scene unfolded. The build up to the eventual explosive conclusion could clearly be seen by examining the entirely different motivations driving each character, and this could only be accomplished by switching views from one protagonist to the other.
I'm sure purists will say that the scene should have been written from the point of view of just one of the characters, with the other's motivation being seen purely from outside, but I wanted to compare and contrast the two as the scene was progressing so that the reader would be able to better understand where each of them were coming from, and what each took away from the encounter.
I may try to write a different scene that complies with the terms and conditions of the Lush site in order to illustrate the point I was making, but unfortunately it will have to wait a few days as I have other things to attend to at the moment.
Best regards to all, and once again my apologies to the moderators for breaking site rules.
Active Ink Slinger
Hello,
I'm going to make myself unpopular here because one of the things I read in part 2 of the links Kee put up is something I don't entirely agree with.
In part 2 of the dialogue articles by Arlene Prunkl she extols the virtues of single POV, and at one point mentions 'head hopping' as though it was to be avoided at all costs.
I'm sorry, but I find head hopping very useful in trying to impart motive to my characters. Please read the following scene I wrote that demonstrates how head hopping is necessary to understand the action in the classroom. I must warn you in advance that it's 4,000 words long, but the scene has a beginning and an end, and much intense head hopping in the middle.
Please also be aware that speech is contained in double quotes " " whereas thoughts are contained in single quotes ' '. EDIT by Kee: Thoughts are never put in any type of quote mark. In US English single quote marks are used to show a quote within a quote. In UK English single-quote marks are used as double-quote marks are used in US English, to show a direct quote.
I had originally hoped to put up a link to the document (which is in Word on my computer) but I can't see any way to do that, so I've had to paste it here in full instead.
***
Story snipped by Moderator.
Stories aren't to be posted on the forums... submit them through the 'Submit Story' button and they can be checked to see if they actually pass site rules...
***
I'm going to make myself unpopular here because one of the things I read in part 2 of the links Kee put up is something I don't entirely agree with.
In part 2 of the dialogue articles by Arlene Prunkl she extols the virtues of single POV, and at one point mentions 'head hopping' as though it was to be avoided at all costs.
I'm sorry, but I find head hopping very useful in trying to impart motive to my characters. Please read the following scene I wrote that demonstrates how head hopping is necessary to understand the action in the classroom. I must warn you in advance that it's 4,000 words long, but the scene has a beginning and an end, and much intense head hopping in the middle.
Please also be aware that speech is contained in double quotes " " whereas thoughts are contained in single quotes ' '. EDIT by Kee: Thoughts are never put in any type of quote mark. In US English single quote marks are used to show a quote within a quote. In UK English single-quote marks are used as double-quote marks are used in US English, to show a direct quote.
I had originally hoped to put up a link to the document (which is in Word on my computer) but I can't see any way to do that, so I've had to paste it here in full instead.
***
Story snipped by Moderator.
Stories aren't to be posted on the forums... submit them through the 'Submit Story' button and they can be checked to see if they actually pass site rules...
***
Active Ink Slinger
I was nineteen, and at a party. I had a condom in my wallet that I carried around on the off chance that one day a girl would take pity on me and finally rid me of my virginal shame. Anyway, there was a girl there "Virginia" was her name, who had big tits, and who had been fucking one of the other boys. When his condom split he asked if anyone else had one, and I said I did. Virginia then asked why I carried it around in my wallet, and when I explained she said she couldn't have that, a virgin with a condom? So she took me off into one of the bedrooms and fucked me. Story, end of!
So was it too early or too late? Well, as I had hardly had any girlfriends by then (I was dreadfully shy with girls) it seemed a bit early, as I hadn't had the chance to go through all the exploring and heavy petting phase with anyone to learn what to do and how to do it. However, Virginia told me that I held my end up well, so to speak, and I left the party feeling pretty good about myself.
During the next couple of years I managed to find my way into another couple of girl's beds and knickers, then when I was about 21 I went out with a woman of I think about 25, and she took me in hand (literally) and taught me what sex was all about. I'm still grateful to her for what she taught me, and it stood me in good stead for the future.
As to now? Well 27 notches on my bed post, but the 27th has remained for the last 33 years, and we still fancy each other. When we can stay awake long enough that is! :-)
So was it too early or too late? Well, as I had hardly had any girlfriends by then (I was dreadfully shy with girls) it seemed a bit early, as I hadn't had the chance to go through all the exploring and heavy petting phase with anyone to learn what to do and how to do it. However, Virginia told me that I held my end up well, so to speak, and I left the party feeling pretty good about myself.
During the next couple of years I managed to find my way into another couple of girl's beds and knickers, then when I was about 21 I went out with a woman of I think about 25, and she took me in hand (literally) and taught me what sex was all about. I'm still grateful to her for what she taught me, and it stood me in good stead for the future.
As to now? Well 27 notches on my bed post, but the 27th has remained for the last 33 years, and we still fancy each other. When we can stay awake long enough that is! :-)
Active Ink Slinger
Hiya,
BJintheUK here. Is it okay for me to post here that I've just had my first story put up on the site? It's called Sweet Memories, and is semi-autobiographical. Parts of the story (particularly the quotes) are almost word for word, but the action that actually took place on the night was a little different from that portrayed in the story.
If this one gets a good response then I may try to put up in a different story what actually happened! It was much dirtier, and very unexpected, coming (pardon the pun) completely out of the blue, and it left me with a very different aspect on inter-human relations.
If you do get a chance to read Sweet Memories, as well as scoring the story could you please leave a comment as well? I'd be grateful for any criticism good or bad, that could help me to improve my writing, so please comment away.
Many thanks,
BJintheUK here. Is it okay for me to post here that I've just had my first story put up on the site? It's called Sweet Memories, and is semi-autobiographical. Parts of the story (particularly the quotes) are almost word for word, but the action that actually took place on the night was a little different from that portrayed in the story.
If this one gets a good response then I may try to put up in a different story what actually happened! It was much dirtier, and very unexpected, coming (pardon the pun) completely out of the blue, and it left me with a very different aspect on inter-human relations.
If you do get a chance to read Sweet Memories, as well as scoring the story could you please leave a comment as well? I'd be grateful for any criticism good or bad, that could help me to improve my writing, so please comment away.
Many thanks,
Active Ink Slinger
Rumble,
I can still remember a page from the New Musical Express taped on to my best friend Steve's bedroom wall. It showed two pictures, one of the Beatles, and one of the Shadows, and the text said, "The Beatles are catching up on the Shadows!". If only they knew how much and how soon?
Thank you very much for your comments. It's too easy to get lost in your own thoughts when starting a story, and it needs the cool gaze of an outside person to keep you from too much self-indulgence.
That particular starting couple of paragraphs may be used on one of several ideas I have, not for erotic stories, but for something entirely different, but I will say that as I am quite a fan of writing stories almost entirely from dialogue, I prefer my own second draft. I feel it has more impact, and piques the reader's interest into wanting to turn the page to find out what exactly is going on.
Best regards,
I can still remember a page from the New Musical Express taped on to my best friend Steve's bedroom wall. It showed two pictures, one of the Beatles, and one of the Shadows, and the text said, "The Beatles are catching up on the Shadows!". If only they knew how much and how soon?
Thank you very much for your comments. It's too easy to get lost in your own thoughts when starting a story, and it needs the cool gaze of an outside person to keep you from too much self-indulgence.
That particular starting couple of paragraphs may be used on one of several ideas I have, not for erotic stories, but for something entirely different, but I will say that as I am quite a fan of writing stories almost entirely from dialogue, I prefer my own second draft. I feel it has more impact, and piques the reader's interest into wanting to turn the page to find out what exactly is going on.
Best regards,
Active Ink Slinger
Hiya,
Talking of hooks. I wonder if you could give me some feedback on two possible starts for a story? Here's the first and second drafts for comparison, and I'd like you to tell me which one would keep you more interested in reading the rest of it?
First Draft
The handle next to the shabby frosted glass in the office door twisted and the hinges quietly squealed as the door separated from its frame, a wooden frame around the door that carried the discoloured evidence of many previous entrants. As it opened, there appeared fingers around the edge of the door, desperate fingers that had accompanied their owner into this haven of supplication. This altar for the believers to pray for help in solving mysteries they themselves had no idea how to solve. The fingers pushed the door further open to reveal a short, middle aged man, dressed in the standard attire of old suit, mismatched tie, scuffed shoes, and the expression they all carried, one of defeat and despair.
“Hello, how can I help you?” said the smartly dressed young lady behind the desk.
“You can offer me a drink for a start!” scowled the man as he entered the room.
“OK,…. And then what?” the young lady smiled, while gesturing for the man to sit in the chair facing hers across the desk.
“Then I’ll tell you a story to make you sick to your stomach, three times over!” said the man as he turned the chair partly around and heavily dropped his be-suited frame onto it.
“Really? Well, I’d better get a bucket then, hadn't I? Will an ice bucket do?” she said as she closed the open folder that lay before her on the desk, and began to open a diary-like book to her right.
“Ha, a comedian, that’s all I need, a bloody comedian for a flatfoot. Brilliant!” he said as he watched her manicured fingers calmly moving the stationery around on the desk, mesmerised by her seeming indifference to his gruff, aggressive manner.
“Well not really brilliant. Genius maybe, but not brilliant by any means” she smiled again disarmingly, and with her right hand picked up an expensive looking fountain pen, ready to start taking notes.
Second Draft
“Hello, how can I help you?”
“You can offer me a drink for a start!”
“OK,…. And then what?”
“Then I’ll tell you a story to make you sick to your stomach, three times over!”
“Really? Well, I’d better get a bucket then, hadn't I? Will an ice bucket do?”
“Ha, a comedian, that’s all I need, a bloody comedian for a flatfoot. Brilliant!”
“Well not really brilliant. Genius maybe, but not brilliant by any means”
Talking of hooks. I wonder if you could give me some feedback on two possible starts for a story? Here's the first and second drafts for comparison, and I'd like you to tell me which one would keep you more interested in reading the rest of it?
First Draft
The handle next to the shabby frosted glass in the office door twisted and the hinges quietly squealed as the door separated from its frame, a wooden frame around the door that carried the discoloured evidence of many previous entrants. As it opened, there appeared fingers around the edge of the door, desperate fingers that had accompanied their owner into this haven of supplication. This altar for the believers to pray for help in solving mysteries they themselves had no idea how to solve. The fingers pushed the door further open to reveal a short, middle aged man, dressed in the standard attire of old suit, mismatched tie, scuffed shoes, and the expression they all carried, one of defeat and despair.
“Hello, how can I help you?” said the smartly dressed young lady behind the desk.
“You can offer me a drink for a start!” scowled the man as he entered the room.
“OK,…. And then what?” the young lady smiled, while gesturing for the man to sit in the chair facing hers across the desk.
“Then I’ll tell you a story to make you sick to your stomach, three times over!” said the man as he turned the chair partly around and heavily dropped his be-suited frame onto it.
“Really? Well, I’d better get a bucket then, hadn't I? Will an ice bucket do?” she said as she closed the open folder that lay before her on the desk, and began to open a diary-like book to her right.
“Ha, a comedian, that’s all I need, a bloody comedian for a flatfoot. Brilliant!” he said as he watched her manicured fingers calmly moving the stationery around on the desk, mesmerised by her seeming indifference to his gruff, aggressive manner.
“Well not really brilliant. Genius maybe, but not brilliant by any means” she smiled again disarmingly, and with her right hand picked up an expensive looking fountain pen, ready to start taking notes.
Second Draft
“Hello, how can I help you?”
“You can offer me a drink for a start!”
“OK,…. And then what?”
“Then I’ll tell you a story to make you sick to your stomach, three times over!”
“Really? Well, I’d better get a bucket then, hadn't I? Will an ice bucket do?”
“Ha, a comedian, that’s all I need, a bloody comedian for a flatfoot. Brilliant!”
“Well not really brilliant. Genius maybe, but not brilliant by any means”
Active Ink Slinger
DPW,
Good point, I hadn't thought of that. I've never worn a jock strap, and never seen one 'in the flesh' so to speak either, so I don't know if I would need to wear one as well as, or instead of underpants, but if it was instead of, then I think I'd wait till the weather warms up, as I don't want my arse getting cold.
Buz,
The problem I seem to be having is that the briefs I've got don't seem to be quite wide enough across where the balls go, so that the material sits away from the natural skin fold thus allowing the skin at the side of my scrotum to come in contact with the skin on my legs. This has the unfortunate affect of closing the fold of skin so that no air gets to it, and it soon gets very wet and sore with sweat. So what I need is for the front of my pants to be slightly wider so that the material of the pants sits in the skin fold and prevents the area from being completely closed. It also acts like blotting paper and soaks up any sweat that does exist, and so keeps the skin drier. As for boxers, I don't wear them because I prefer the support I get from wearing briefs.
Good point, I hadn't thought of that. I've never worn a jock strap, and never seen one 'in the flesh' so to speak either, so I don't know if I would need to wear one as well as, or instead of underpants, but if it was instead of, then I think I'd wait till the weather warms up, as I don't want my arse getting cold.
Buz,
The problem I seem to be having is that the briefs I've got don't seem to be quite wide enough across where the balls go, so that the material sits away from the natural skin fold thus allowing the skin at the side of my scrotum to come in contact with the skin on my legs. This has the unfortunate affect of closing the fold of skin so that no air gets to it, and it soon gets very wet and sore with sweat. So what I need is for the front of my pants to be slightly wider so that the material of the pants sits in the skin fold and prevents the area from being completely closed. It also acts like blotting paper and soaks up any sweat that does exist, and so keeps the skin drier. As for boxers, I don't wear them because I prefer the support I get from wearing briefs.
Active Ink Slinger
I would like to see them be available in different sizes, then I could find a pair that keep my scrotum away from the skin on my inside thighs. At present I find that the fold in the skin between scrotum and leg gets wet with sweat, so a slightly larger pouch size would allow the leg holes to fit better into the skin fold and keep the area a little drier.