In the first paragraphs, all a reader really needs to know about a character is their name and the action they are a part of that will pull the reader into their world. The other details (physical description, favorite hobbies, weird quirks) can be sprinkled through the story like breadcrumbs, one here, another there. Gradually you build the character, and reveal their motivations, fears, secrets etc.
The more you can engage the five senses and emotions in your story, the more real your characters will become to the reader. If you do it right, the reader won't even question all the things they still don't know about the character. Instead they are focused on the intensity of what you are revealing, and they get caught up in the big story of the characters life, not all the tiny details.
I didn't intend to be harsh, but I've worked in customer service long enough to be annoyed by this kind of idea that someone is "owed" a smile. It's sort of a pet peeve of mine.
However, most of the time, I was friendly and did smile at my customers. It kind of becomes automatic and fake after a while. Faking being happy is just...I don't know, kind of sad.
I think if a person likes my stories enough to vote a 4 or a 5, they should take a few extra seconds and explain what they liked about the story.
As a writer, a number is just a number, and not a real reflection of a writer's ability. Knowing what you did right to earn the high mark means a lot more.
How about a Writer's Resource Forum?
Writers can post questions and get real life answers from experts and people familiar with their question.
For example, writers often have questions about things relating to:
Medicine, First Aid, Surgery, Diseases, Disorders etc.
Court Room, Legal and Law Enforcement Procedures
Traveling, Places, Specific Cities, Countries, Culture, Food etc.
Historical Facts, Period clothing, language, society, culture,
Psychology: Mental disorders, treatment options, therapy etc.
This would be a way for writers to help other writers with facts and getting the details right.
If someone doesn't feel like smiling, they won't. Maybe they are too focused on getting customers through the line fast, so they don't bitch about their slow cashier. Maybe they have been on their feet for the last 8 hours and are too tired, and just don't care to smile. Maybe they are depressed because there is something serious going on in their lives, or maybe they just didn't think to do it.
People who demand that others smile, or tell them how to smile are annoying and rude.
People are not put on this earth to cater to a strangers demand for them to pretend to be happy, or to see their teeth.
When I first came to Lush, I tried to meet people by going to the chat rooms and talking.
I quickly learned it was basically an online orgy. People seem to think that the only reason a person is there is to cyber.
I was told:
"Why are you here if you don't want to fuck?" (Implying that anyone who doesn't cyber isn't welcome in the chat rooms.)
"Why are you here if you aren't a lesbian?" (In the Ladies chat room, because apparently it's only for Lesbians.)
and other intrusive, rude questions like:
"What are you wearing/what color is your underwear?"
"How big are your tits?"
"Will you send me a picture?"
"What is your favorite position?"
"What is your favorite way to cum?"
"You ever been with a black man?"
"Wanna fuck?"
"Are you any good at blow jobs?"
"Do you spit or swallow?"
"Does your man know you're cheating on him?"
Implying:
1. He doesn't know I'm on Lush. (He does.)
2. He doesn't know I'm in a chat room. (He's aware they exist.)
3. That wanting to talk to other people is cheating. (He encourages me to talk to people more.)
4. That I am only on Lush to cheat. (As if there is no other reason to be here.)
All of which are completely arrogant and incorrect assumptions. I say right on my profile I will not cheat in any way.
People seem incapable of having a real conversation in the chat rooms. I prefer one on one. If someone wants to talk, they can email me or send an online message.
Terms like bitch, slut, whore, cunt etc. are a no go. I can't even begin to describe how much this is a huge turn off.
The last man who dared to speak to me that way got his dinner dumped in the garbage and the lecture that his Momma should have given him.
No thanks. Meaningless electronic imitation sex doesn't do anything for me. I prefer the real thing.
I only mention my relationship in conversation if:
1. Someone asks me directly.
(Are you single? Do you have a man? Are you married?)
2. It becomes obvious while chatting the man is looking for something more than friendship.
(Making sexually suggestive hints that aren't nearly as subtle as he thinks it is.)
If neither of these two things happen, I rarely bring it up. I don't see the point, and it can be death to a good conversation. However, I don't make a habit of flirting with other guys, even if they think I am. Sadly, even simple kindness, such as smiling and making eye contact, is often mistaken for flirting these days. To me, it's just being polite, but other people don't see it that way.
Men are just as responsible for birth control as a woman is. Wear a condom. Not doing so is just irresponsible and stupid and there is no excuse good enough to ruin lives just for a few minutes of pleasure. Trust me, growing up knowing your parents never really wanted you sucks.
I started reading romance novels when I was **Content removed by moderator. Violates Lush TOS.**, because kids books were too easy for me. When I was **Content removed by moderator. Violates Lush TOS.** my mom got a set of encyclopedias and some medical books from a yard sale. I spent an entire summer reading them, because I was the kid who would read ANYTHING. I knew more about sex and the details of reproduction and contraception than my mother did, as evidenced by her pitiful attempt at a birds and bees talk when I was **Content removed by moderator. Violates Lush TOS.**. She handed me a book by Judy Blume and demanded I read it. Then, after I handed it back to her, she asked if I had any questions. I said, "Nope, I know enough." She wanted to know what I knew. So I told her. Her face turned red and when I finally finished explaining sex to her, she tried to forbid me to read. I laughed and told her I will never stop reading. That was "The talk."
I remember at school a lot of kids were really confused about what sex was. So, I explained a few things. Apparently mom got some angry phone calls. She told me not to talk about things like that at school. I just shrugged, "So, you think I should let them keep being stupid, and get pregnant or get a disease because their own parents won't tell them the truth? That doesn't seem right."
My mom didn't know what to do with me. That was the last time we ever talked about sex. She is mortified that I write erotica for a living.
Some people (the ones with red and white profile pics, blank profiles, no followed authors, no forum posts and no stories) aren't interested in contributing much to the website. If they are reading stories, they aren't contributing by commenting or voting on them, because there is no activity on their page to indicate it.
Others just haven't logged on in months, and have given no indication on their profile if they will ever return. Perhaps they forgot their password, or just don't like the site anymore. Whatever the reason, they wouldn't even notice if their profiles were deleted.
After a year of inactivity, I think it is completely fair (and logical) for Lush powers that be to delete inactive and empty profiles, provided any contributing stories were archived somehow. Perhaps the stories from inactive members (or members who have passed away) can be collected and posted into special category called "Past Contributions", or "In Memoriam". This way, those of us still here can continue to enjoy their work, but those profiles can be deleted to create more hosting space for new members.
Christian Slater did a movie in 1993 called Untamed Heart.
There are a few scenes in that movie that will stick with me forever:
1. When Caroline tells Adam (Slater) she is falling in love with him.
2. When Adam says: "But this is my heart! I'm afraid that if they take it away I won't be able to love you the same."
3. The end, when Caroline talks about how she loved him.
I like baked mac and cheese with Monterrey jack and Chicken flavored crackers crumbled over it, for crunch.
Keebler crackers, cream cheese and canned oysters.
Cinnamon honey butter on toast. (Like sugar toast, but healthier.)
Cold coffee drizzled over vanilla bean ice cream.
Shredded chicken sandwiches mixed with mayo, seasonings, and green taco sauce.
I put yellow mustard, onion powder, and diced celery in my tuna. I've been told several times most people only do mayo with pickles.
Yellow cake with Christian Brothers Sherry glaze. A family birthday favorite. So so good!
I sill love writing and reading.
I still love chocolate and cheesecake.
I still sleep curled up like a cat.
So because he has trouble getting it up, and does't want sex as often, he doesn't want you to get any, even from yourself?
What a selfish prick. The next time he brings it up, tell him he has three options:
1. He gives you an orgasm every day.
2. You give yourself an orgasm every day.
3. You find another man to give you an orgasm every day.
Then ask him...which would you prefer? You, me or someone else? Because I'm not going to go without just because your sex drive is lower than mine.
That should shock him enough to shut him up.
No. Never. My friendships are too important to me to fuck around like that. I would never disrespect or betray my friends like that.
For a quick visual:
AA cup will fit on a baby's head like a hat.
DD cup will fit on a grown man's head like a hat.
I once went 12 years. Voluntarily.
I got out of a really bad relationship and afterward, had no libido at all. I didn't care if I never had sex again. It just wasn't all that important to me. After about five years, I started thinking about entertaining the idea, but it took quite a while before I could find someone who I trusted enough to be that vulnerable with again. Most guys want a quick, fun one night stand or just a fuck buddy. I wanted something more than to be another notch in some man whores bed post. So, for me, it was worth the wait.
His respect, and my consent.
I've been an introvert my entire life. Nothing can change that, and he would be incredibly frustrated if he tried. I like people well enough, but I don't want to be around people all day long, every day. It's too draining. I need my quiet time. As long as he can accept that and not try to force me to be around people all the time, I don't have a problem with it.
It's a toss up between a Snickers bar and a Milky Way. I love them both.
When you feel like you have to keep secrets, you already know you're doing something you should't be.
Cheating is doing anything you are hiding from your partner or don't tell your partner about.
If you really want to know what cheating is, tell your partner what you've been up to and ask them if they feel betrayed or cheated on.
When I was young and dumb, I used to attract the quiet shy type of guys (who I later discover have so many issues they don't need a girlfriend, they need a therapist, a couple of good anti-psychotic Rx's and a straight jacket.)
Now that I am older and wiser, I tend to attract the really brainy geek type, which works for me. ;)
I'm not very social. I take introvert to an extreme level. I'm an empath, so I feel everything, all the time, from everyone I'm around. Basically, I feel every emotion a person has, as if it's my own. It's hard for me to be stable when I'm around other people, because I get hit with everything all at once, sort of like standing on the shore and being hit by a tsunami. I drown in other people's emotions, and the bigger the crowd the worse it is. My only rest comes when I am completely alone, or I force myself to stop caring, and turn off all emotion, which makes me feel a bit like a sociopath for a while, until I can recharge and deal again, but sometimes it's necessary to keep my sanity in tact.
Never. Mostly because it's too damn cold most of the year. In the summer I often wear as little as possible in the house. It's not uncommon for me to wear a giant t-shirt with boy short undies.
Anything but thongs. They must have been invented by a sadist. I don't know why anyone wears them.
It's really annoying walking around all day feeling like you have a permanent wedgie.
I prefer comfortable undies, with a bikini cut in cute patterns, and I also like the boy shorts kind.
And sometimes, when I'm feeling a little naughty, nothing at all.
I try to talk to people when I see we are both on at the same time.
I am not a big friend collector, so if someone makes it onto my friends list, they tend to stay there. Typically the only reason I will remove someone from my friends list is if they are rude or disrespectful toward me. At that point, they aren't treating me like a friend should.
No matter what people seem to think, age does make a difference in romantic relationships, if for no other reason than the amount of life experience a person has. While it's true age is no measure of maturity, the amount of life experience a person has makes a difference when you are trying to build a future with someone. It can be a major issue in family planning, finances, in health concerns (sexual and otherwise), and social situations. Take a 50 year old man and pair him with a 25 year old woman. Her friends won't want to hang around with someone who is old enough to be their father, and his friends won't want to socialize with someone who is barely out of college and struggling to establish a career. Realistically, it's awkward at best.
That being said, a few years age difference really isn't a big deal. There is seven years difference between me and my man, and we get along great, partially because I have always been more mature, and he often acts younger than his age. We balance each other out. Ten years or less is ideal. More than that and it starts to get weird. Plus, the larger the age gap the more likely it is you won't have many common interests anyway.
