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Things To Do In The Bedroom To Ruin The Mood (ABC Style)

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Castrate yourself 😱

Erect a blanket fort

Fuck her best friend in front of her

Grind your teeth when her nipple is in your mouth 😬

Inflate your sex doll.

Jab her in the eye.

Keep asking 'why?'

Lie in top of the drawers

Note one's partners deficiencies.

Open a jar of anchovies and start eating them.

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Play an accordion.

Upgrade the software on your laptop

ACHOOOOOOO! Hang on, I'll get towels....

Chlamydia, but really, it's no big deal...

Grunt, grimace, and groan... taking off your socks