Think they need a man or partner to be happy and "complete"?. I heard someone mention that a woman he knew was "desperately" seeking a man. Why do women think that? Can't they be a happy, productive, well rounded person without a man?
Well Chef, I think it comes down to how the women were raised. My family believes that if a woman isn’t married by the time she’s 25 she’ll end up alone – and no one will want her. The younger she gets married the better wife she will be and there is no reason to want to be anything BUT a wife and mother.
Some of us don’t fit their mold and we’re outcast in our own family. Want to hear a fucked up real life story about just this – IM me.
I never understood that reasoning. Some woman aren't meant to be paired or a parent. And they can still be happy, healthy, productive members of society. I'll bet I could name at least 20 woman that never married and still left a great impact on our lives.
I think you're right though. Until we can change how we make our female children think of themselves, it'll never change.
I've known men that are the exact same way I think it's insecurity issues with both genders.
Bunny12
Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off! chef,
I believe it comes from the individual persons upbringing but also the lack of self confidence and the ability to be successful on their own, without a mate! Male or Female!
I have seen too many women who could not change and grow with the times and were never prepared to be on their own, so they are lost when their marriages crumbled apart. Part of that is also due to the relationship with their husbands in keeping the woman as subserviant rather than equal partners.
Nowdays, it's almost mandatory for women to find some way to establish themselves as an individual. But I bet the answers are different from woman to woman and they results would be startling
Kisses!
Sy
I can agree with that bunny. there are those of us who remain married for that exact reason. seeing that have been married since 20 I really don't want to know what its likely to be alone. I just keep taking the bs instead. ? no its what life has become and would rather must leave it alone
I'm in my early 40's, not married nor have been, no children, can't give birth, and I have a happy, health, successful life and stay extremely satisfied. It's all in the mind, the way one is raised, the way society preceives a "good life". It falls back to the mainstream of thinking; what is and what is not, what is expected and what is not, what is considered successful and what is not. The norm of reality, expectations and preceptions.
Most everyone is dead on. Society said women are the weaker sex and need a strong man to take care of them. A woman must become a mother or she is not complete. And as DD said, TV and Movies did nothing but re-enforce this belief.
Its funny, I have a distant cousin who is 33 and very successful but has never been married. And she is very happy, but her family thinks something is wrong with her. Meanwhile her older sister, has been married 5 (or maybe it is 6) times and is not able to take of herself without a man in her life. And the family doesnt see any problems there.
When I was young, I sort of thought this way too, that I needed to get married and have kids. Well I did and it was a disaster. And now I am not married, think I am a pretty good mom and relatively successful. Thankfully, I think society is starting to realize that women can survive without a man.
But there are still the women that do go "man shopping". They have their list of all the requirements he must possess. And it seems like Love is always one of least important requirements. No wonder divorce rate is like 50%!!
When I started this thread almost 2 years ago I had no idea why women thought this way. Still don't know. I was taught to be self sufficient and not rely on anyone but myself. If you happen to pair up with another, all well and good. If it doesn't work out, you're not "stuck" you can take care of yourself and still be happy.
I agree the movies and media has tried to paint us into a corner with one brush but we're such a diversified lot that you can't do that anymore.
I think you're right we shouldn't blame society and media exclusively, though they are the main perpetrator... after all let's not forget we're social creatures and while we don't chose our mates for life like some birds, we do like a certain kind of stability... sometimes that comes from having a man/woman next to us. And to that I might add the need for companionship or simply of purpose; I've met a few women who are absolute wonders in their work fields but what drives them is not the "I'm doing this for me" philosophy but for "us" - meaning them and their partners. They draw strenght, satisfaction and motivation from the "couple".
I totally agree, women do not need a man to be happy or fulfilled. You can have fun and be single.
I'm not single, and haven't been for most of my adult life, but I know that if I was, I think I would cope just fine.
I agree I think it's just we are lead to believe that there is another half that we are searching for or the "one".
Take my highschool friend for instance, she wasn't the most attractive of girls long nose, skinny body, horse teeth (and that's after having braces). Now she is engaged to a very handsome fellow and is very happy. Though she is one of those girls who like to brag about their achievements in life.
I on the other hand was a dork or nerd, I kept to myself in school. I did find attraction to guys and yes some girls. Didn't act upon them until I got into a FWB relationship. Now days I have been with my boyfriend for six and a half years. There is no sign of an engagement ring and you know what I thought about it and I infact am happy not to be married or engaged.
It's nice to know I have someone always there. Without the flashy bling or a piece of paper to
scream out how much in love I am in. Plus I don't have children, I find my lifestyle to much fun to be tied down with playing servant, bank, chauffer etc to a child all my life.
Though offnote I'm babysitting tomorrow an eight month old for the night. Wish me luck.
I agree with everyone in their assessment that it has a great deal to do with how a person is raised, as well as the influence from the media; however, I would also add that a person's individual personality traits have much to do with it. There are some people such as myself who is quite independent and self-sufficient, never "needing" someone else in my life to make me complete in some way. Then there are those who, regardless of their ability to support themselves, seem to be unable to function well without having a significant other in their lives at all times. They jump from one relationship to another acting as if the world will end if they remain single and unattached for any length of time.
My thoughts on this are quite basic, actually. I feel a person must learn to love themselves first, finding peace and happiness within themselves by themselves before they can ever expect to find it in someone else. If a person is unhappy with their life, then expecting to find all of their problems miraculously solved simply by having another person in their life is unrealistic. It just means the things that are making you unhappy in the first place are just going to keep making you unhappy...but now there's another person involved instead of just you.
I don't 'need' another person in my life to make me happy...but it doesn't mean I don't 'want' someone in my life. I just understand the difference between wanting and needing. It shouldn't be such a complicated thing, you know?
I don't understand it myself, but I agree with the thought that you have to love yourself first to be truly happy. I'd gotten my career in order, gotten my self esteem in order, and my health in order, and I was plenty happy by myself. Some of my friends had gotten married, and a few wondered why I wasn't pushing the issue. I told them that my life was just that, MY life, and it was fine the way it was. Of course, when you're not looking for it, you get hit hard and fast. I was NOT looking when the guy apologized for taking the last of the soy milk at my favorite coffee place, and the sparks fired right up! However, had he never shown up, I'd still be happy with what I've done in my life. However, had I not married, I would have eventually wanted a child, because I feel so...complete as a mother.
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
lol ... this question ...wow... people need to get their scientific facts straight..... it is as normal as needing food or water... its a part of our physiological process... "THEORY OF EVOLUTION" from Darwin.. reading this book might help some..LOL
nor did I search everytime I went out. Like Castlequeen and her Man, we looked up saw one another and I knew that he was the one. 
*** 
Never... good post
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