This important public service announcement bears repeating:
MARMITE
Marmite has been mentioned a few times in the "Gourmet" threads recently, though clearly this is a sign of madness. In the interests of human safety I feel it important to revive this thread.
Marmite is a vile concoction with the appearance and consistency of used axle grease. It tastes even worse. Under no circumstances should it be consumed by humans.
Marmite was discovered when a mad drunken German, clearly off his head with drink, fell into an ancient dried out beer tank. He licked the bottom of the tank and when he didn't die he decided to sell the residue to the Brits as no one else would buy it. The German's name was Justus von Liebig which certainly provides a clue to his marketing skills. Marmite is basically made from the useless crud left over from beer making. In countries other than Britain this is referred to as "toxic industrial waste' and is disposed of by suitably trained professionals wearing haz-mat suits.
If your Brit friends offer you Marmite, politely refuse no matter what sexual favours they might promise. Its not worth it, NOTHING is worth it. Do not blame your British friends for their eagerness to poison you. They seem to have some kind of genetic mutation that allows them to actually consume this disgusting substance. I suspect it is a secret cult ritual of some kind. It is likely Marmite is a toxic substance that leaves those who consume it in a semi comatose state whereby their taste buds are fooled into thinking Marmite tastes like rainbows. It doesn't.
Quote by kiera Prunes. I mean why would anyone willingly eat them? They look disgusting, like the shrivelled up testicles of a mummified Egyptian Pharaoh
From your post I assume you have studied shrivelled up testicles across a wide spectrum of males, countries and throughout history?
And I thought you spent all day cooking me meals *shakes head*
Me... I certainly will not much of the offal although I do eat kidney/liver.
Olives, or as I tell my wife - elk turds. Keep telling her we can pick up our own free olives in the mountains. Sometimes even find nice juicy, fresh ones.