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scones with cream and jam

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GrushaVashnadze
Active Ink Slinger
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In Britain, families can fall apart over what is the correct order in which to put the cream and the jam on a scone. Here are three stories I recommend, which deal with this important culinary question head-on:
A Matter of Taste (naughtyannie)
Afternoon Tea (kkikkiriccio)
A Working Fuck (GrushaVashnadze)

GrushaVashnadze's best stories:

Alison Goes to London (RR) - "love this... fun, and funny, and sexy" (sprite)

The Cursed Cunt (RR) - "holyyyyy sheeeiiit.... Your writing is fucking fantastic" (CarltonStJames)

A Worthless Filthy Fucking Smoking Trash Cunt Whore (RR) - "Brilliantly done. Of course." (naughtyannie)

Snow White and the Seven Dildos (RR) - "Fuck. It's perfect.... honestly genius and so fucking well executed." (VioletVixen)

Metamorphoses (RR) - "so imaginative and entertaining" (saucymh)

And There Came Two Angels to Sodom - "What a deliciously worded story! So juicy, so raunchy" (el_henke)

Fuck-Talk (with VioletVixen) - "Jeez. I feel rendered wordless by how much clever fucking fun this is" (Jaymal)

naughtyannie
God Empress of Lush
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It's good to see Lush writers really getting down to the nitty-gritty about the issues that matter.

I think I make it one story recommending jam first then cream, and two in favour of cream then jam.

Now we just need to discuss how to pronounce scone...

22 February 2024 - How about a quick plug for one of my filthiest recent stories? It's all in the title - Naked Pool Party Swingers | Lush Stories Please read, comment and maybe give it a ❤️ - or even a⭐ if you really enjoy it! Thank you! Annie xxx

Unknown User
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I deadass thought it was about food.



You got me.






kkikkiriccio
Active Ink Slinger
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I have spent much time contemplating this important issue, and have arrived at the following position myself.

First off, thank you so much for including me in the discussion. I'm humbled and honored that my silly little tale has been recommended along with those authored by the incomparable Grusha and Lush Legend Annie!

In all fairness to my character Danielle in Afternoon Tea, not being British, she wasn't aware of the controversy surrounding the order of the scone toppings. She was hungry and wanted a snack, and the other main character in the story, the small-but-mighty aggressive pink vibrator, was getting her so worked up that she thought of other naughty things to do without leaving her seat. Her man's testes were ready and willing to share their contents, so she thought a dirty sexy thing to do was to make his sperm part of her snack.

Having no sense of the right or wrong way to load up her scone, she simply added jam like she and many others in North America would do to many breadstuffs. It was kind of a dramatic, climactic act to do Trey off onto it as a matter of emphasis. Call it naïve inaccurate cultural appropriation if you will, but the deed was quite innocent.

One must say, controversy aside, if you treat semen as something wholly other than cream, the issue becomes not whether cream-then-jam or jam-then-cream is the proper ordering, but whether semen-then-jam or jam-then-semen is preferred in the context of sexual food-play. In Danielle's case, two benefits can be observed from her preferred ordering:
1. assuming the jam was of a relatively dark color, the contrast between it and the whitish ejaculate made Trey's emission stand out as part of the presentation, and in any case perched on top, instead of soaking in to the scone and being covered;
2. both Danielle and Trey derived sexual pleasure as a result of having the tip of his oozing penis squished into the jam - she was all too pleased to suck the jam with his remaining dribbles of semen off the end of his cock, and he was all too pleased to allow her to do so.

The erotic experience, whether personal or depicted verbally here in Lush stories or in image or video form, of a delightful sex act in which the supplier and consumer of the "creamy" ingredient participate in the prurience of eating food enhanced with male ejaculate, can be enjoyed on its own in a sexual realm apart from a culinary realm. I believe one can enjoy the experience, whether the semen is applied first or last, as purely erotic without having to sacrifice a preferential or even dogmatic adherence to either the cream-then-jam or jam-then-cream view of culinary orthodoxy.

I'm so excited to have my "Spring Forward" competition entry published! A little tale about how some unexpected hostesses may just have guided a struggling couple to set things right with an intimate encounter on the Isle of Skye!
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/skye-1

kistinspencil
Voyeur @ f/64
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You are all so just wrong. Cream cheese, thin and wait two minutes to soften and soak, then sour cherry preserves. No penis involved ever.
sweetjenny
Advanced Wordsmith
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It’s jam then clotted cream. Trust me, people have gone to war over this, I’ve seen it ?
uxblr
Advanced Wordsmith
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Quote by sweetjenny
It’s jam then clotted cream. Trust me, people have gone to war over this, I’ve seen it ?


I can see how you'd be wrong, coming from Cornwall! ? But it's cream first, then jam. The cream is in place of butter. But either way it's better than some people. My mum once told me about someone who, after being presented with both cream and jam asked for butter AS WELL.

sunseeker
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by sweetjenny
It’s jam then clotted cream. Trust me, people have gone to war over this, I’ve seen it ?

100% with you jam then cream. done, full stop.
LYFBUZ
Troublemaker
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Cream then jam you Philistines. As uxblr graciously explained the cream is in place of the butter. Do you jam your toast first then put on the butter?

This order of construction provides the optimum viscosity of surface (the cream) against the jam to optimize the interplay of flavours between scone, cream and jam. Anything else is heresy.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
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Quote by LYFBUZ
Cream then jam you Philistines. As uxblr graciously explained the cream is in place of the butter. Do you jam your toast first then put on the butter?

This order of construction provides the optimum viscosity of surface (the cream) against the jam to optimize the interplay of flavours between scone, cream and jam. Anything else is heresy.


i do. smile

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

uxblr
Advanced Wordsmith
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Quote by DanielleX
I am from Devon where cream teas were invented.

It's cream and then jam. End of.


D x


Exactly
Unknown User
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And the answer is .............. put it on which ever way you want and then just turn your scone upside down to appease the Devonian. (rofl)
mac57
Advanced Wordsmith
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somebody will probably have a stroke when they find out I just use butter and then dip it in honey!! heh heh heh
destiny322355
Active Ink Slinger
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I don't know what order but scones have always fascinated me as I'm not English but American and we make biscuits here in the South. I plan on making these soon and this thread helps a lot. I will try both ways and see if they taste different and then decide which is the right way. Also will think of which way is easy and most effective and efficient was to get this in my tummy. ty smile