Active Ink Slinger
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Anybody else been in this situation?
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I"ve not had this same kind of experience personally,,but I have read and reread your post over and over again,,And I dont want to speak harshly in my response,, but what I wonder just what kind of Superman he is?,,to be able to be there for you and his EX.,,should you both need some major emotional support at the same time.
Plus he has the child with the EX.,,sooner or later the child will be placing more demands on his time,,Your probably going to feel a little more shorted in the relationship,,and if you can live your life this way and be happy,,then go for it.
But you dont seem happy ,,,with this arrangement,,I could not bare the thought of my partner in the arms of another, while we were in a relationship together. I wont tell you what to do here,,I am not qualified,, But I do feel a black cloud following you around.........I hope this helps you to think a little more about what is happening to you.
Plus he has the child with the EX.,,sooner or later the child will be placing more demands on his time,,Your probably going to feel a little more shorted in the relationship,,and if you can live your life this way and be happy,,then go for it.
But you dont seem happy ,,,with this arrangement,,I could not bare the thought of my partner in the arms of another, while we were in a relationship together. I wont tell you what to do here,,I am not qualified,, But I do feel a black cloud following you around.........I hope this helps you to think a little more about what is happening to you.
Active Ink Slinger
Sounds like he likes both of you, but can't bring himself to settle on one of you.
In order to know virtue, you must first become acquainted with vice.
- Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade
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En vis mann slår aldri en hund i klubben med en stokk, fordi hunden vil vende rundt og biter mannens ballene av.
Active Ink Slinger
Time to be judgemental. 
He's a wuss. Either he can't make up his mind (was he a mommy's boy?) or he doesn't want to (eating his cake and having it too). I've been there. Making the choice seemed like the hardest thing I had ever done, however, it was the best thing to move on from one relationship as it really strengthened the one I (thankfully) chose.
He has a son and the bond there may prove too strong for your relationship in the long run as his ex leverages her advantage. He will obviously always have feeling for the ex- but he is being unfair not only to you, but to himself because he risks losing it all.
Tell him your fears and ask to change the ground rules. If his response is less than ideal then get ready to move on. Do not be afraid of change.
He's a wuss. Either he can't make up his mind (was he a mommy's boy?) or he doesn't want to (eating his cake and having it too). I've been there. Making the choice seemed like the hardest thing I had ever done, however, it was the best thing to move on from one relationship as it really strengthened the one I (thankfully) chose.
He has a son and the bond there may prove too strong for your relationship in the long run as his ex leverages her advantage. He will obviously always have feeling for the ex- but he is being unfair not only to you, but to himself because he risks losing it all.
Tell him your fears and ask to change the ground rules. If his response is less than ideal then get ready to move on. Do not be afraid of change.
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Active Ink Slinger
My wife and met in a polyamorous arena. She has always had multiple lovers, and I have been OK with it. I'd have had multiple lovers if I was more outgoing, I don't believe in monogamy. She now has a man she's really in love with. He visits regularly, spends a weekend a month with him, and visits his family with him and our son.
I can't help but feel somewhat displaced. I enjoy our family, the togetherness... I'm not really happy when this guy is around. It's hard to know if it's the conditioning of our culture or biological in nature, this displaced feeling. I suppose it doesn't matter why I feel this way, it's figuring out how to deal with it.
I can't help but feel somewhat displaced. I enjoy our family, the togetherness... I'm not really happy when this guy is around. It's hard to know if it's the conditioning of our culture or biological in nature, this displaced feeling. I suppose it doesn't matter why I feel this way, it's figuring out how to deal with it.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Mathusela
My wife and met in a polyamorous arena. She has always had multiple lovers, and I have been OK with it. I'd have had multiple lovers if I was more outgoing, I don't believe in monogamy. She now has a man she's really in love with. He visits regularly, spends a weekend a month with him, and visits his family with him and our son.
I can't help but feel somewhat displaced. I enjoy our family, the togetherness... I'm not really happy when this guy is around. It's hard to know if it's the conditioning of our culture or biological in nature, this displaced feeling. I suppose it doesn't matter why I feel this way, it's figuring out how to deal with it.
Regardless of your arrangement I think it is very rude to rub it in your face and involve your child like that. Maybe you need to address your feelings with her. My hubby knows about my cyber slave Stephen but I never rub it in his face I keep it private and that's just in cyberland he's not hanging around the house. Sorry you are being treated this way it is very inconsiderate.
Bunny12
Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off!
Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off!
Sweetie, I believe we all search for understanding and to be accepted by the one we love. As a man, I must take my hat off to you for taking the time to approach this situation based on information that you gather and feeling that you try to understand. Wow, your man doesn't understand how lucky he is to have a women with your mindset.
I must add at this time, I have had situations that I have provided love unconditionally and push my women up and wanted her to experence so she could grow as a women, enjoy the women she is and even have us grow together in our love. As a man, she was a gift to me that I wanted to have her experience love in a way that she could only dream about.
Love takes two as a team and unconditional love requires total acceptance and communication between two people. Now I left you hanging abit and didn't finish my situation with my lady. I wanted you to read and feel abit of saying wait, what happened with that lady that was a gift.
That was done so you can feel my words and understand that something was forgotten and there is something missing with that situation your current lover provides to you.
Think about how there is a part of you and everyone on this site that has a part of them, deep inside filled because they are reading words that people will totally accept them for. When have I have read a story, wow, I am allowed to connect with that person somewhere deep inside.
To give of oneself totally is a gift that must be cherish. I give you these words of love that you must talk to him and inquire about his need and love of this women. I would recommend that you think carfully and listen to him with your ears of love.
Then you must understand that like so many others, enjoying anothers body together can bring a level of love if the love come from unconditional love for each other. But, as it happens in to many situations with people not understanding true love vs lust, instant happiness, not giving themselve totally to each other and not being a team together, lust is enjoyed, they enjoy an array of fun, as they go, someone is enjoying and begins to forget that they must be the priority. NO matter if they enjoy an array of fun, if they don't keep in the mindset of fun for them together to enjoy and that women or that 10" penis she wants is just foreplay or something that allows them together to experience.
Let me also point out, you are a hot lady and in the hands of a man that would expect you to give yourself totally to me and then me to you. I could enjoy us being together while you enjoy some guys cock. Can you think of how hot you would be to know I was there and my was loving you in this way? Can you feel me wanting to enjoy you, hold you with candles around us and allowing you to experience that cock again as I enjoy your pussy.
But what is that cock to our love and to the lust we can have between us. Feel my words lady and begin to understand something so much deeper for yourself and the love you want with this man.
The love of you two must be a priority and if you allow things to not remain that way, you'll wake up one day and wonder why you feel an emptyness inside, what happened to this love you yearn for and then remember that you will let yourself say, all guys are jerk, dogs, and all the other colorful ways you will want to allow your anger at yourself be voiced since did you not read these words from a man that opens his arms to hug you.
Ray
Active Ink Slinger
Ha ha Rocco, I think she knows that, but was just joking ;)
In order to know virtue, you must first become acquainted with vice.
- Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade
-------
En vis mann slår aldri en hund i klubben med en stokk, fordi hunden vil vende rundt og biter mannens ballene av.
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by Dontholien
Has anyone else ever been in a situation where your partner who you love completley and utterly and are very happy with suddenly realised they are also in love with someone else too?
I have just found out my partner has realised he is in love with his ex again who is also still in love with him and wishes she could have him back. They have a baby together and he often stops at her house a few nights a week when he finishes his late shifts to spend the night and next morning with his son and i have always been ok with this, i knew the situation with her when we got together.
The confusing thing is that he says it doesnt change a thing between us, that we will be the same as we were and its me he wants to be with.
He told me that if i hadnt found out he wouldnt have told me and it wouldnt have bothered me and he would have delt with it but i caught him telling her, thats how i found out so im all confused. Why would you tell the other person who is so cazy about you that you love them again when you have no intention of it changing anythings?
Has anyone else ever been the one who had to deal with their partner loving someone else? Have you ever loved 2 people at the same time in the same way?
here's my two cents. either your partner is in love with you and his ex and either wont or cant chose between you two for whatever reason, OR he is a liar. either lying to you about nothing changing while he sorts out the bullshit with his ex or he really loves you and is lying to his ex in an attempt to have peacefull arguement and bullshit free time with his son. not knowing all the details i cant say for sure which is which, but ill offer some advice, hope for the best, but prepair for the worst (mentally and emotionally).
A wise man speaks because he has something to say, a fool speaks because he has to say something. - unknown
Sassy Red-haired Beach Kat/Dune Goddess
Speaking from experience I can say yes it is possible to love 2 people at the same time in the same way.
But it only works if everyone involved knows what is going on and is ok with it.
The fact that your partner wasn't upfront about it makes me wonder what else he is hiding.
How do you know he isn't sleeping with her when he spends the night?
Just my thoughts here...but something seems off about this guy. I'd be cautious.
But it only works if everyone involved knows what is going on and is ok with it.
The fact that your partner wasn't upfront about it makes me wonder what else he is hiding.
How do you know he isn't sleeping with her when he spends the night?
Just my thoughts here...but something seems off about this guy. I'd be cautious.
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Active Ink Slinger
sounds to me like your man wants his cake and extra icing on the side. no, if he wanted you, he wouldnt be tellin her he loved her. he probably still feels, and always will, a strong bond with the mother of his child, but if he is in love with her, he needs to be with her. sounds to me like he is scared it wont pan out so he is keeping you on the side. my lover has children with another woman. he doesnt ever have personal talks with ehr, let alone spend hte night there. and id be damned if he ever would spend the night there!!! sounds to me like he is to much of a coward to break it off with one of you, so he is stringing you both along for his benefit. He sounds like a coward and an ass. is it possible to love two people? sure, i believe so. but if you love someone , you dont want to hurt them, and you shouldnt. you should grow some balls and have enough respect to cut someone loose. holding on to both is selfish and disrespectful. just my opinion of course, you sound like you've been placed as the fallback woman. ever heard hte country song "why dont you stay?" look it up, might hit hime. good luck adn i wish you happy days.....~cremey~
Quote by Dontholien
Has anyone else ever been in a situation where your partner who you love completley and utterly and are very happy with suddenly realised they are also in love with someone else too?
Been there for a while and now im back and currently in this position and losing myself....
Been there ...and it's not pleasant being on the receiving side of that type of relationship if not previously discussed and agreed upon by all parties. Just by your questioning this scenario, tells me that you are not comfortable with the situation. As was previously posted, he is obviously hedging his bets and from what I understand, was hiding this from you to avoid confrontation with you. I believe inwardly you know what to do as nobody but yourself is actually there to get a better feel for what is really going on but yourself. Go with your gut-feel ...it's seldom wrong. I hope you are able to resolve this - know how you must feel.
Active Ink Slinger
if you truely love someone, there isn't any room in your heart for another.
I'm sorry sweetie but I think he's taking you for a mug. surely he has to choose.
You wouldn't want him to be wit you both??!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxx
I'm sorry sweetie but I think he's taking you for a mug. surely he has to choose.
You wouldn't want him to be wit you both??!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Quote by Dontholien
Has anyone else ever been in a situation where your partner who you love completley and utterly and are very happy with suddenly realised they are also in love with someone else too?
I have just found out my partner has realised he is in love with his ex again who is also still in love with him and wishes she could have him back. They have a baby together and he often stops at her house a few nights a week when he finishes his late shifts to spend the night and next morning with his son and i have always been ok with this, i knew the situation with her when we got together.
The confusing thing is that he says it doesnt change a thing between us, that we will be the same as we were and its me he wants to be with.
He told me that if i hadnt found out he wouldnt have told me and it wouldnt have bothered me and he would have delt with it but i caught him telling her, thats how i found out so im all confused. Why would you tell the other person who is so cazy about you that you love them again when you have no intention of it changing anythings?
Has anyone else ever been the one who had to deal with their partner loving someone else? Have you ever loved 2 people at the same time in the same way?
Hey! Now I am confused as to whom your husband actually loves. Does he love you or his ex? It seems you are pretty cool with the fact that your husband is once again in love with his ex.
Don't you have the intention to start a family? And all this would cause trouble during that time later on. Its better you start thinking of that.
And ask your husband if he is more happier with you or ex? If he is happy with her then let him be with them and why not leave you? This threesome is gonna go no where.
If so then you can find true love again with some other [URL=""]adult single[/URL] as well. In this way you will also be happy and he as well and also his ex.
Active Ink Slinger
I think the key factor here is that he told his ex he loved her again. That to me indicates he had intentions of that love possibly going somewhere. If, as he told you, he intended to deal with it himself, he would have had no need to tell her at all. I think your man is telling some fibs, and is too fickle to make a decision. I also think he WON'T make a decision if he is not prompted to. Why should he, if he can have both of you?
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