The USA never ceases to surprise me in the doulbe standards that it has with regard to sex. Puritans may have founded it, and on the surface and in many aspects of public life, this still is the image that is portrayed. But below the surface you practice everything that the surface morality would label as corrupt.
Thank Darwin, for showing us that we evolved and still have many of the animalistic characteristics that got us to the peak(!) where we are today.
Don't agree about Spain or Eastern Europe, those countries don't have the body inhibitions so you find nudist swimming, beaches where toples women are the norm, and NONE of them are labelled as only for x or for y.
What was the best thing about Sex and the City? It brought an openness to public TV about sex for pleasure, and even anal sex for pleasure, not just for D&S.
I've had some glorious American lovers, as well as Spanish, Romanian, and of course French. Whatever the public layer of conformity, these lovely women understood their own sexuality and gloried in it.
That's where it should be and bollocks to the public norms.
And Smut Writers are better in bed........
(WELL, WE ARE!!!!!!!)
xxSF
Morgan Hawke said. "Formal Education teaches you to stuff as many words into a paragraph as possible. Preferably using the biggest words available, (with extra points for obscurity.)"
I agree. One of the toughest parts of my job as a Professional Civil Engineer was editing junk written by the junior engineers, fresh out of college.
I saw a bumper sticker once, that has long been my favorite: ESCHEW OBFUSCATION
As to the concept that writers of erotica have low self-respect, I say balderdash. Every writer who submits copy for publication, be it here, or elsewhere, has very high self-respect; otherwise he would think his work unworthy of publication. What kind of twisted logic could possibly lead one to conclude otherwise?
(and YEAH - what Steph said: we ARE better in bed! )
"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
That is just a bunch of crap. It is the narrow mindedness that has others saying things about erotica. Yet, they are the ones in the bookstores, huddled in a corner, peering at a book and constantly looking around to see if they are being watched. In one breath, they are damning us to hell, while secretly thinking 'OOOOOOOOOOOOH that was a GREAT read.'
Erotic writers have done what they have not and that is take a step outside of the box and go for it. That is what irritates them, that is their lack of self respect.
In my somewhat limited experience, the people who are anti-erotica are the same people who are "pro-life" (anti-abortion) but in favor of retaining (and using) capital punishment.
"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
As my second wife said many years ago about films and the "rating system", "There is something very wrong when it is okay to cut off someone's boob with a chainsaw, but it is not all right to touch it in a kind, loving, or gentle way."
"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
I think there always have been - and always will be - people with double standards. Look back to the Victorian times when the 'head of the household' was very strict with his womenfolk and yet some of the husbands would be going with prostitutes. Nothing wrong with the latter, if it takes your fancy, but don't preach about immorality and then do the same thing yourself.
Also, and I have no wish to cause offence to anyone, I find that a lot of religious people are very hypocritical. They pray in church and follow the commandments saying 'Love they neighbour' then they are the biggest bitches on earth. Believe me I have come across quite a few of them. So, I know I am generalising, so don't jump down my throat.
My friends would be horrified if they knew that I wrote stories for this site, yet they have affairs with married men - double standards again.
Alan, that gravestone that you showed was a really poignant reminder of how daft the human race is.
If the people that put down us erotica writers bothered to get in touch with their own sensuality and get comfortable with sex then they wouldn't try to shame us because of their own self-shame.
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. ~Swami X
I think it's tough to put yourself out there as a writer no matter what genre you write in.
Well. . .that's one of the biggest lies I've ever heard. As poizenivy said; "If the people that put down us erotica writers bothered to get in touch with their own sensuality and get comfortable with sex then they wouldn't try to shame us because of their own self-shame."
Erotica is an art form like any other.
I'm an erotica author and proud of it. To say I have no self-respect is so wrong. I do it for the express reason that I enjoy it. So do others. The people I have no respect for are the people who are able to make a blanket comment like that about a group of people and not have the stones to try what they are criticizing.
I love this!
I agree with pretty much everything said. I am a Taoist and try to live my life doing more good than harm. I try very hard to NEVER hurt anyone. I'm not talking about physical hurt, that heals rather quickly, but emotional hurt, that can take from years to never to heal. Until the day she died my mother thought she was the ugliest person on the planet and that everyone thought that. That's what she was taught as a child and I've pretty much hated the people who did it. Not her parents.
I still feel incredible sadness about that and she died 30 years ago at 75.
Be who you are and think what you think. NO ONE in the universe is in charge of how you feel about anything, except you.
Write about it, tell your stories, I guarantee you I'm getting off on them and enjoying it.
Any one with the opposite feelings, FUCK THEM! They don't deserve enough of your attention to even tell them to fuck off
I have read lots of books in the top ten
that have the SAME exact types of sex scenes in them..and frankly the writers HERE do it WAY better!
so to say erotic writers have no self respect or talent
is horse hockey
they just get to the good stuff FASTER
which is what 90 percent of the readers are flipping ahead to!
I have to admit, I go through phases of having no self respect and phases where I have lots. I woudn't link that to me being a writer of erotica, though.
Writing erotica has been therapy for me. At first, I was so afraid of the sex part of writing erotica, I contemplated writing everything else and collaborating with a friend to write the the naughty bits. Now, after only a few months of writing dirty stories, I'm finding the sexy parts come easier.
Easier yes, but writing erotica is still not easy. Probably never will be.
No one knows what I'm attempting to do for a living, except my social media buddies who only know me by my pen name.
I've been living in the tunnel my whole life - and I could easily be one of the people who should be handed a butt plug. But, exploring my own sexual fantasies via writing stories has exposed me to a new world and my eyes are beginning to open.
I have nothing but respect for serious erotica authors. This is hard work.
Just another erotica writer, slaving away at the keyboard with one hand....
.
I just love the imagery of it. I can't help but giggle a little as I picture someone primly finger pecking each individual key with a look of smug authority on their face.
