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Bisexuals
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Internet Philosopher
There are still people today who cannot accept any sexual desire they do not share as 'normal'. I think most of us must have experienced that at one time or another. Sadly, I think how strongly you are judged still depends a little on whether you are a male bisexual or female.
In general, straight men are far less willing to accept bi or gay men than they are women. It may not be fair, but that is the reality.
In general, straight men are far less willing to accept bi or gay men than they are women. It may not be fair, but that is the reality.
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I'm bi and love it people have trouble with it that's there they problem I love it and I'm not going to change. The best thing about it is when you meet a couple and everyone has lots of fun. Bisexuals rock.
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Quote by NickiC
Bisexuals? Are we accepted or maligned? How do you feel about bisexuals? Be honest, I am interested. I want to know what you think.
This is so difficult to answer because, to me anyway, it depends on where they sit on the bisexual spectrum.
By their very nature they tend not to be monogamous and they tend to be hetero with a gay urge, very rarely gay with a straight urge, or so they say. Some, not all, are really closeted gays, who for one reason or another, can't or won't come out. A lot of them think they get the best of both worlds but I think they get the worst. They can never be in a stable relationship if they aren't prepared to be open and honest and their partner is willing to accept that they will go and get gratification elsewhere.
It seems that most bi men on Lush would only have a relationship with a woman but still want sex with guys. So the solution appears to be that bisexuals should be with other bisexuals, however, they have to expect other people in their relationships. Then there's the problem of where they sit on the scale, their degree of bisexuality, how much same-sex sex they need.
So getting back to the question, I would never go into a relationship with a bisexual, even one that's open to the idea, I'd know that there was something that I couldn't give him. I'd have casual sex but stop if I began to have any feelings. I was always monogamous when I was with someone and expect the same, if they weren't prepared to do that, it wasn't going to be worth it. I think both straight and gay people find it hard to accept bisexuals, unfortunately, I think I do too. I agree with Milik about bi women but we both may have the male perspective.
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Quote by NickiC
Bisexuals? Are we accepted or maligned? How do you feel about bisexuals? Be honest, I am interested. I want to know what you think.
I never liked labels... I think they are useless because at the end of the day we are all human. That being said, I also think that bisexual people have it rough. Straight people think they are gay, and gay people think they are straight. People with a bisexual orientation are the least understood of them all and some times the least accepted.
Quote by dpw
By their very nature they tend not to be monogamous and they tend to be hetero with a gay urge, very rarely gay with a straight urge, or so they say.
This statement is not a fair statement. I have lots of bisexual friends that are quite happy with their current boyfriend/girlfriend and are monogamous. Actually if you take this statement as true, you would also have to take the stereotype that says that gay men are promiscuos as a true statement. And you know what? although there are lots of gay people that are, I also know lots of gay people that are not. The same applies to bisexual people.
Quote by dpw
They can never be in a stable relationship if they aren't prepared to be open and honest and their partner is willing to accept that they will go and get gratification elsewhere.
What? who says that they can never be in a stable relationship? I hope Rachel a.k.a. "Sprite" jumps on this one.
Quote by dpw
So getting back to the question, I would never go into a relationship with a bisexual
My last and very good ex-boyfriend was bisexual, and he was as good if not better than my previous gay boyfriends. And no, he did not go looking for women or other men every free second he had. We only split because he had to move out of the country for work, but we still remained friends.
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Quote by TonyZ
My last and very good ex-boyfriend was bisexual, and he was as good if not better than my previous gay boyfriends. And no, he did not go looking for women or other men every free second he had. We only split because he had to move out of the country for work, but we still remained friends.
You're snipping me and some is taken out of context!
Monogomy: If a bisexual is monogomous long term they are in denial.
Generally gay men are more promiscuous.
You live in Gaytown USA so I think you're in an unusual and privileged position.
How can a relationship be stable if only one partner is craving cock or pussy.
You're ex, did you know he was bi before you started the relationship? Did he sleep with women during the relationship?
If so, were you okay with it?
Quote by dpw
You're snipping me and some is taken out of context!
Monogomy: If a bisexual is monogomous long term they are in denial.
Generally gay men are more promiscuous.
You live in Gaytown USA so I think you're in an unusual and privileged position.
How can a relationship be stable if only one partner is craving cock or pussy.
You're ex, did you know he was bi before you started the relationship? Did he sleep with women during the relationship?
If so, were you okay with it?
I am bisexual and have been monogamous in every relationship man or woman. Was even engaged at 1 point (yes she knew I was bi)
Just because I enjoy (I refuse to use the word crave) both cock & pussy doesn't mean I will fuck anything with a pulse. I have more respect for myself & the person I am with.
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
Quote by dpw
This is so difficult to answer because, to me anyway, it depends on where they sit on the bisexual spectrum.
By their very nature they tend not to be monogamous and they tend to be hetero with a gay urge, very rarely gay with a straight urge, or so they say. Some, not all, are really closeted gays, who for one reason or another, can't or won't come out. A lot of them think they get the best of both worlds but I think they get the worst. They can never be in a stable relationship if they aren't prepared to be open and honest and their partner is willing to accept that they will go and get gratification elsewhere.
This is all wrong. I'm bisexual, and I have the ability to be monogamous to either sex. I'm not confused. I'm not straight with gay urges. I don't favor one sex over the other. I'm equally attracted to both.
Quote by dpw
It seems that most bi men on Lush would only have a relationship with a woman but still want sex with guys. So the solution appears to be that bisexuals should be with other bisexuals, however, they have to expect other people in their relationships. Then there's the problem of where they sit on the scale, their degree of bisexuality, how much same-sex sex they need.
I haven't met or interacted with very many bi men on Lush, so I can't know if you've accurately assessed this or not. Perhaps I have interacted with bisexual men and haven't even realized it.
Quote by dpw
So getting back to the question, I would never go into a relationship with a bisexual, even one that's open to the idea, I'd know that there was something that I couldn't give him. I'd have casual sex but stop if I began to have any feelings. I was always monogamous when I was with someone and expect the same, if they weren't prepared to do that, it wasn't going to be worth it. I think both straight and gay people find it hard to accept bisexuals, unfortunately, I think I do too. I agree with Milik about bi women but we both may have the male perspective.
I think people find it hard to accept a person they're with as bisexual because they themselves are insecure and will always focus on what they can't give their partner. But if I'm in a relationship with someone, it's because I'm committed. The sex we have will be special because we connect that way. If I'm with a woman, I'm not gonna need to go fucking around because I'm starved to cock. Likewise, if I'm with a guy I'm not gonna need to go fucking around because I'm starved for pussy. There's more to a relationship than just sex.
Some people use their sexuality in general to be promiscuous, not just bisexuality. It's not that they can't commit...they'd just rather not.
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Quote by Haineko
I am bisexual and have been monogamous in every relationship man or woman. Was even engaged at 1 point (yes she knew I was bi)
Just because I enjoy (I refuse to use the word crave) both cock & pussy doesn't mean I will fuck anything with a pulse. I have more respect for myself & the person I am with.
Let's get this clear from the start the op asked for honesty, you may not like what I say or think but I'm honest.
You're monogmous during relationships so you switch gay to straight with no trouble. Totally gay for a while with no straight urges then hey presto straight with no gay urges. Sorry, I don't believe it!
Did every partner know you were bi, in all of therelationships you've been in, before it began and was it ever a reason for the relationship to end? Be honest!
I have never intimated that a bisexual would fuck anything with a pulse, you really should read the whole thread and digest it before making assinine statements!
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
Quote by dpw
Let's get this clear from the start the op asked for honesty, you may not like what I say or think but I'm honest.
You're monogmous during relationships so you switch gay to straight with no trouble. Totally gay for a while with no straight urges then hey presto straight with no gay urges. Sorry, I don't believe it!
Did every partner know you were bi, in all of therelationships you've been in, before it began and was it ever a reason for the relationship to end? Be honest!
I have never intimated that a bisexual would fuck anything with a pulse, you really should read the whole thread and digest it before making assinine statements!
Actually, that's the essence of bisexuality. You like both. Both sexes have different things to offer. It just means you like being with someone you click with, regardless of their sex. No one's saying that there aren't bisexual people out there who won't commit or be monogamous. But it's totally asinine to assume that all bisexual people are this way.
You're really good at alienating people based on their sexual preferences. You should really watch that.
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Quote by slipperywhenwet2012
I think people find it hard to accept a person they're with as bisexual because they themselves are insecure and will always focus on what they can't give their partner. But if I'm in a relationship with someone, it's because I'm committed. The sex we have will be special because we connect that way. If I'm with a woman, I'm not gonna need to go fucking around because I'm starved to cock. Likewise, if I'm with a guy I'm not gonna need to go fucking around because I'm starved for pussy. There's more to a relationship than just sex.
Some people use their sexuality in general to be promiscuous, not just bisexuality. It's not that they can't commit...they'd just rather not.
I don't think they are inherantly insecure, it's more probable that they are in an unfamiliar position.
Monogamy for some bisexuals is a form of self denial, similar to closet gays. The sex is poles apart, although the emotion may not be.
Personally I think that, long term, it's the saddest and most insecure form of sexuality. To love both sexes but be unable to find it in one person, to dream the impossible dream!
These are my thoughts and you may disagree, at least I'm being honest, which is what the op asked. Feel free to shoot me down.
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Quote by slipperywhenwet2012
Actually, that's the essence of bisexuality. You like both. Both sexes have different things to offer. It just means you like being with someone you click with, regardless of their sex. No one's saying that there aren't bisexual people out there who won't commit or be monogamous. But it's totally asinine to assume that all bisexual people are this way.
You're really good at alienating people based on their sexual preferences. You should really watch that.
Oh ffs, the only person that seems to be alienated is you! Maybe you think nobody can have an opinion that's contrary to yours'.
I am fully aware of the essence of bisexuality, I really don't need it to be explained!
I have no problem at all with a persons sexuality, they should be what they are but they should be honest about it, especially to themselves.
I'm sorry but if a bi guy wanted a relationship with me I'd say no, somewhere down the line he'll want to be with a woman, even for a night. Been there done that got the scars
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
Quote by dpw
I don't think they are inherantly insecure, it's more probable that they are in an unfamiliar position.
Monogamy for some bisexuals is a form of self denial, similar to closet gays. The sex is poles apart, although the emotion may not be.
Personally I think that, long term, it's the saddest and most insecure form of sexuality. To love both sexes but be unable to find it in one person, to dream the impossible dream!
These are my thoughts and you may disagree, at least I'm being honest, which is what the op asked. Feel free to shoot me down.
No one said that you were being dishonest.
But sexuality isn't a one-dimensional thing. You can't use blanket statements and sweeping generalizations and expect people not to react.
I think most people dream of finding 'the one', as in the person they mesh with mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. And I think this applies to any male, female, or anyone in between. I'm not sure how someone's sexuality could jeopardize that.
Quote by dpw
Oh ffs, the only person that seems to be alienated is you! Maybe you think nobody can have an opinion that's contrary to yours'.
I am fully aware of the essence of bisexuality, I really don't need it to be explained!
I have no problem at all with a persons sexuality, they should be what they are but they should be honest about it, especially to themselves.
I'm sorry but if a bi guy wanted a relationship with me I'd say no, somewhere down the line he'll want to be with a woman, even for a night. Been there done that got the scars
Actually, that's not what I think. But forums are places where people hash out opinions or perhaps denounce assumptions that are exactly that...assumptions. I'm open to everyone's opinions...doesn't mean I have to agree with them all just as I don't expect everyone to agree with mine. This is a thread about bisexuality...I'm bisexual. You seem to have some skewed views here and there, and I was just hoping to shed some light on other possibilities. People have very different experiences with their sexuality...and there are several ways to express one's self sexually. It's not all going to fall under your line of thinking and understanding...but that doesn't make it wrong or dishonest.
Perhaps you prefer to stay jaded, so more power to you. I'm definitely not the first person to express that you have a penchant for alienating others, and I highly doubt I'll be the last.
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Quote by slipperywhenwet2012
Actually, that's not what I think. But forums are places where people hash out opinions or perhaps denounce assumptions that are exactly that...assumptions. I'm open to everyone's opinions...doesn't mean I have to agree with them all. This is a thread about bisexuality...I'm bisexual. You seem to have some skewed views here and there, and I was just hoping to shed some light on other possibilities. People have very different experiences with their sexuality...and there are several ways to express one's self sexually. It's not all going to fall under your line of thinking and understanding...but that doesn't make it wrong or dishonest.
Perhaps you prefer to stay jaded, so more power to you. I'm definitely not the first person to express that you have a penchant for alienating others, and I highly doubt I'll be the last.
Are you saying in all honesty that you hope to find one person and it makes no difference if it's male or female?
That's the only question, I'll come back to the rest of the thread later.
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
Quote by dpw
Are you saying in all honesty that you hope to find one person and it makes no difference if it's male or female?
That's the only question, I'll come back to the rest of the thread later.
That's exactly what I'm saying.
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Quote by dpw
Are you saying in all honesty that you hope to find one person and it makes no difference if it's male or female?
That's the only question, I'll come back to the rest of the thread later.
most of us, i'm thinking, have an ideal person in our heads - THE ONE - that we dream of falling in love with - prince charming, sleeping beauty, whomever - that's easy when you're either straight or gay - when you're bisexual, sometimes you get tricked - those of us who might have envisioned a Prince? sometimes our hearts play games and we fall for a Princess instead - for a long time i had a string of boyfriends - the side of me that liked girls liked to flirt with them, have sex with them, but never seriously considered having a relationship with them... when i was 16, yes, there was this one girl, but it was short lived - then it was guys guys guys until one day i sort of fell in love with a girl - that wasn't the plan, it just happened - i ended up marrying her. i guess you just have to be open to the possibilities when you're bi.
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Quote by slipperywhenwet2012
That's exactly what I'm saying.
Then I respect you more than you'll ever know and Sprite also. I wonder if any bi guys would be as honest? I don't TRY to alienate people, it just comes naturally. Lol
I know I'm opinionated, so are you btw, and can be acerbic, sometimes deliberately to get a reaction. What I respect above all else is honesty, not to me but to themselves. Unless you are honest with yourself you'll never be happy.
So thanks for your honesty, it was refreshing.
I've just realised I've been writing this like a pm hope you don't mind.
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Quote by sprite
most of us, i'm thinking, have an ideal person in our heads - THE ONE - that we dream of falling in love with - prince charming, sleeping beauty, whomever - that's easy when you're either straight or gay - when you're bisexual, sometimes you get tricked - those of us who might have envisioned a Prince? sometimes our hearts play games and we fall for a Princess instead - for a long time i had a string of boyfriends - the side of me that liked girls liked to flirt with them, have sex with them, but never seriously considered having a relationship with them... when i was 16, yes, there was this one girl, but it was short lived - then it was guys guys guys until one day i sort of fell in love with a girl - that wasn't the plan, it just happened - i ended up marrying her. i guess you just have to be open to the possibilities when you're bi.
That's beautiful, you didn't shut yourself off from the possibility of a LTR with someone of the same sex. I thnk it must be a bi men problem. I actually suspected it may be more prelavent among bi men.
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Quote by sprite
most of us, i'm thinking, have an ideal person in our heads - THE ONE - that we dream of falling in love with - prince charming, sleeping beauty, whomever - that's easy when you're either straight or gay - when you're bisexual, sometimes you get tricked - those of us who might have envisioned a Prince? sometimes our hearts play games and we fall for a Princess instead - for a long time i had a string of boyfriends - the side of me that liked girls liked to flirt with them, have sex with them, but never seriously considered having a relationship with them... when i was 16, yes, there was this one girl, but it was short lived - then it was guys guys guys until one day i sort of fell in love with a girl - that wasn't the plan, it just happened - i ended up marrying her. i guess you just have to be open to the possibilities when you're bi.
That's beautiful, you didn't shut yourself off from the possibility of a LTR with someone of the same sex. I thnk it must be a bi men problem. I actually suspected it may be more prelavent among bi men.
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Quote by sprite
most of us, i'm thinking, have an ideal person in our heads - THE ONE - that we dream of falling in love with - prince charming, sleeping beauty, whomever - that's easy when you're either straight or gay - when you're bisexual, sometimes you get tricked - those of us who might have envisioned a Prince? sometimes our hearts play games and we fall for a Princess instead - for a long time i had a string of boyfriends - the side of me that liked girls liked to flirt with them, have sex with them, but never seriously considered having a relationship with them... when i was 16, yes, there was this one girl, but it was short lived - then it was guys guys guys until one day i sort of fell in love with a girl - that wasn't the plan, it just happened - i ended up marrying her. i guess you just have to be open to the possibilities when you're bi.
That's beautiful, you didn't shut yourself off from the possibility of a LTR with someone of the same sex. I thnk it must be a bi men problem. I actually suspected it may be more prelavent among bi men.
Head Nurse
Quote by dpw
Are you saying in all honesty that you hope to find one person and it makes no difference if it's male or female?
That's the only question, I'll come back to the rest of the thread later.
For me that's a yes. I've loved men and I've loved women. I was married for a time, and divorced not through any cheating on my part but his. Monogamy is a state of mind. If I love someone, I'm not going to hide things from them. Sex is such a small part of a relationship, I want more then that. I want a person I can laugh and cry with. Someone to hold and to be held by. That is what makes sex fulfilling to me. Not if they have a cock or not.
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Quote by dpw
You're snipping me and some is taken out of context!
Monogomy: If a bisexual is monogomous long term they are in denial.
Generally gay men are more promiscuous.
You live in Gaytown USA so I think you're in an unusual and privileged position.
How can a relationship be stable if only one partner is craving cock or pussy.
You're ex, did you know he was bi before you started the relationship? Did he sleep with women during the relationship?
If so, were you okay with it?
Generally speaking bisexual people, although they may be attracted to one gender or another at a given point of their lives, stick to their relationship. Yes, they may like or fall in love with either gender but that does not mean that they have a need for the other sex. To say that a bisexual person will cheat on their partner is like saying that all married men will cheat on their wives. Neither is a given.
Yes, I did know he was bisexual before we started dating; and no he did not sleep with women during our relationship.
Oh, and by the way... yes, I do consider myself priviledge to be living in Gaytown, USA.
Quote by naughtynurse
For me that's a yes. I've loved men and I've loved women. I was married for a time, and divorced not through any cheating on my part but his. Monogamy is a state of mind. If I love someone, I'm not going to hide things from them. Sex is such a small part of a relationship, I want more then that. I want a person I can laugh and cry with. Someone to hold and to be held by. That is what makes sex fulfilling to me. Not if they have a cock or not.
This. I love the person I am with not their genitals. It is them. I am married to a man who is aware of my tendencies and desires. He is completely straight but he knows and loves me.
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Quote by dpw
Monogamy for some bisexuals is a form of self denial, similar to closet gays.
Who said that closeted gays are in self denial? how can it be self denial when if asked they will tell you that they are gay and that they have sex with people of their same gender? The only difference between a closeted and an outed gay person is perhaps their fear of what society might think of them, but that has nothing to do with denial or sexual insecurities... I think you are mixing terms.
Quote by dpw
That's beautiful, you didn't shut yourself off from the possibility of a LTR with someone of the same sex. I thnk it must be a bi men problem. I actually suspected it may be more prelavent among bi men.
So now you are beginning to see bisexual women in a different light, huh? I knew that invoking Rachel/Sprite would make you change your mind. But do you think is different between a bisexual woman and a bisexual man? If you ask me, there is no difference. It does not matter if men are straight, bisexual or gay, all of them may fall in love with a single person. A bisexual person does not carry a sign that tells other people that they are interested in threesomes or roman orgies. We are all human, and we all desire the same thing. That one person that will compliment our day, one person that will help us through thin times, but also laugh and enjoy the good times that life throws our way. I am sorry Derek, but I do have to disagree with you on this one.
Quote by TonyZ
So now you are beginning to see bisexual women in a different light, huh? I knew that invoking Rachel/Sprite would make you change your mind. But do you think is different between a bisexual woman and a bisexual man? If you ask me, there is no difference. It does not matter if men are straight, bisexual or gay, all of them may fall in love with a single person. A bisexual person does not carry a sign that tells other people that they are interested in threesomes or roman orgies. We are all human, and we all desire the same thing. That one person that will compliment our day, one person that will help us through thin times, but also laugh and enjoy the good times that life throws our way. I am sorry Derek, but I do have to disagree with you on this one.
Yes, this. What I do not like as a bi is the thought as if it is about sex only. I am not that superficial.
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Quote by TonyZ
So now you are beginning to see bisexual women in a different light, huh? I knew that invoking Rachel/Sprite would make you change your mind. But do you think is different between a bisexual woman and a bisexual man? If you ask me, there is no difference. It does not matter if men are straight, bisexual or gay, all of them may fall in love with a single person. A bisexual person does not carry a sign that tells other people that they are interested in threesomes or roman orgies. We are all human, and we all desire the same thing. That one person that will compliment our day, one person that will help us through thin times, but also laugh and enjoy the good times that life throws our way. I am sorry Derek, but I do have to disagree with you on this one.
There's another thread posted by EdWolfe check out the answers, compare and contrast the guys and girls and you'll see where I'm coming from.
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Quote by NickiC
What I do not like as a bi is the thought as if it is about sex only. I am not that superficial.
For yourself and a lot of the girls that might be correct, maybe for the guys it is more about the sex.
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Quote by NickiC
Bisexuals? Are we accepted or maligned? How do you feel about bisexuals? Be honest, I am interested. I want to know what you think.
Yes you are probably maligned and by idiots like me!
I've just read though the bithebi blog and anther article from a bisexual on the Huffington and these have opened my eyes somewhat.
I've had my judgement clouded by a couple of bi guys I've been with and it was reinforced by some of the comments and profiles of bi guys on Lush. I then stupidly generalised all bisexuals as being the same and for that I'm sorry.
You see my idea of a true bisexual is a person who could have a monogamous relationship with one person male or female, I posted this here last month and got shot down. I was annoyed that bi guys would only have sex but not a relationship with another guy. Now it seems there are such people, although with the exception of Tony's ex they're all women. I still find it strange that bi guys seem to have a problem with this.
I also came accross the term biphobia which is all the more shocking as some of it comes from the LGBT community who should know better. I have never been biphobic but I will admit to a distrust or mistrust of biguys. This is because I wasn't told by a couple of guys years ago but that doesn't excuse it. So once again, apologies if I offended anybody.
Head Nurse
Quote by dpw
Yes you are probably maligned and by idiots like me!
I've just read though the bithebi blog and anther article from a bisexual on the Huffington and these have opened my eyes somewhat.
I've had my judgement clouded by a couple of bi guys I've been with and it was reinforced by some of the comments and profiles of bi guys on Lush. I then stupidly generalised all bisexuals as being the same and for that I'm sorry.
You see my idea of a true bisexual is a person who could have a monogamous relationship with one person male or female, I posted this here last month and got shot down. I was annoyed that bi guys would only have sex but not a relationship with another guy. Now it seems there are such people, although with the exception of Tony's ex they're all women. I still find it strange that bi guys seem to have a problem with this.
I also came accross the term biphobia which is all the more shocking as some of it comes from the LGBT community who should know better. I have never been biphobic but I will admit to a distrust or mistrust of biguys. This is because I wasn't told by a couple of guys years ago but that doesn't excuse it. So once again, apologies if I offended anybody.
