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Bisexuals

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TonyZ
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by dpw

There's another thread posted by EdWolfe check out the answers, compare and contrast the guys and girls and you'll see where I'm coming from.


Derek honey, you have to weigh the information you get by their sources... first of all, if you get your information from Lush, you might get a lot of horny men saying what their dicks think. This is after all a sexually charged site. You might also get a lot of men that fantasize with an experience that perhaps they haven't had. And lastly but most important, when compiling statistics to draw a conclusion it is never a good idea to use just one source. If you only use one source, or perhaps two if we count your bad experiences which instantly make you bias (more on that later), the number of people asked is also very important. The wider amount of people you ask, the better the sample... its that simple. That's market research 101. Oh and by the way, women are usually a lot more reserved, romantic and mature when it comes to sex and maybe that is why you got the answers you got from our lovely female friends. That does not mean that they may not be sex crazed maniacs, but once settled in a relationship and even while searching for one, just like men (bisexual men included), it is all about just one especial person.

Now, regarding your bad experience or experiences... we are all influenced one way or the other by our experiences at one point or another, but that should not cloud our minds. We, above all people, should keep an open mind about different sexual orientations. This is a very important topic. And I say IMPORTANT in capital letters because I do not like to be treated badly, or having people making loose generalizations, or basing their conclusions on stereotypes, or even on bad experiences just because I am gay. Do you see the resemblance? I am gay, yes... but I am me. I am an individual and therefore think and act differently than other gay people. Sure we do have lots in common, but we are all different. Do you a fit perfectly as a gay stereotype? I know I don't... I could careless about hair dressing, I don't like to dance or dance music, I do not have a lisp. I am quite manly and like manly men, so that rules out the femme portion of the stereotype... should I go on?
Dirty_D
Head Nurse
Quote by TonyZ


Derek honey, you have to weigh the information you get by their sources... first of all, if you get your information from Lush, you might get a lot of horny men saying what their dicks think. This is after all a sexually charged site. You might also get a lot of men that fantasize with an experience that perhaps they haven't had. And lastly but most important, when compiling statistics to draw a conclusion it is never a good idea to use just one source. If you only use one source, or perhaps two if we count your bad experiences which instantly make you bias (more on that later), the number of people asked is also very important. The wider amount of people you ask, the better the sample... its that simple. That's market research 101. Oh and by the way, women are usually a lot more reserved, romantic and mature when it comes to sex and maybe that is why you got the answers you got from our lovely female friends. That does not mean that they may not be sex crazed maniacs, but once settled in a relationship and even while searching for one, just like men (bisexual men included), it is all about just one especial person.

Now, regarding your bad experience or experiences... we are all influenced one way or the other by our experiences at one point or another, but that should not cloud our minds. We, above all people, should keep an open mind about different sexual orientations. This is a very important topic. And I say IMPORTANT in capital letters because I do not like to be treated badly, or having people making loose generalizations, or basing their conclusions on stereotypes, or even on bad experiences just because I am gay. Do you see the resemblance? I am gay, yes... but I am me. I am an individual and therefore think and act differently than other gay people. Sure we do have lots in common, but we are all different. Do you a fit perfectly as a gay stereotype? I know I don't... I could careless about hair dressing, I don't like to dance or dance music, I do not have a lisp. I am quite manly and like manly men, so that rules out the femme portion of the stereotype... should I go on?


I wonder if part of that is cultural conditioning? We are taught for a young again that women are supposed to settle down with that one person, while men are supposed to look around. Now I know that this doesn't mean that all women are homebodies or that all men are looking for a quick fuck. I'm just saying we are conditioned to look for a lasting relationship, for the good and the bad of it.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by dpw

Yes you are probably maligned and by idiots like me!
I've just read though the bithebi blog and anther article from a bisexual on the Huffington and these have opened my eyes somewhat.
I've had my judgement clouded by a couple of bi guys I've been with and it was reinforced by some of the comments and profiles of bi guys on Lush. I then stupidly generalised all bisexuals as being the same and for that I'm sorry.
You see my idea of a true bisexual is a person who could have a monogamous relationship with one person male or female, I posted this here last month and got shot down. I was annoyed that bi guys would only have sex but not a relationship with another guy. Now it seems there are such people, although with the exception of Tony's ex they're all women. I still find it strange that bi guys seem to have a problem with this.
I also came accross the term biphobia which is all the more shocking as some of it comes from the LGBT community who should know better. I have never been biphobic but I will admit to a distrust or mistrust of biguys. This is because I wasn't told by a couple of guys years ago but that doesn't excuse it. So once again, apologies if I offended anybody.


You were hurt, tricked and treated poorly. But that is about how the individual goes about life. I have never lied about who I am to anyone. I have been in relationships with women but I married a man. I could easily have married a woman that I loved. I even had a sexual relationship with a man who identified as gay but we just I don't know, we just sort of were attracted to each other. Now, could we have settled down together? No. His urges were too strong but he is my friend to this day and I love him to death. My point is that there is sexuality but there is also a person attached that brings their values, life experience and personality to the relationship.
TonyZ
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by naughtynurse
I wonder if part of that is cultural conditioning? We are taught for a young again that women are supposed to settle down with that one person, while men are supposed to look around. Now I know that this doesn't mean that all women are homebodies or that all men are looking for a quick fuck. I'm just saying we are conditioned to look for a lasting relationship, for the good and the bad of it.


I do think its cultural... society's reasoning for instilling this behavior, at least in their minds, is that it preserves the species assuring human continuity. It is just as cultural as the maternal instinct and the biological clock.
LustfullLove
Active Ink Slinger
When it comes to bisexuals we get a lot of shit thrown our way from gays and straight. a lot of time we are called greedy, bi-sluts, whores, confused, and so much more. what people need to understand and i am sure this has already been stated by a few people in this forum, is that we care not about gender. we are bisexuals because we love both and we like the personality that one has. the problem i have with everything is that the LGBT community has fought for their own rights for years but they can not even come to a peaceful standing amongst themselves. i've had women tell me they refuse to date me because i will not identify as lesbian. they will fuck me if they think i am straight because it is a game and they fuck me if i am to say i am a lesbian, but if i am to state the truth of my sexuality i am pushed aside. Seems like a few steps back doesn't it? the term bisexual is only a label. it is all a label to make people feel comfortable but also to help judge people. well that is a bit harsh, i think labels also help us know where everyone is coming from, however is that necessary?
Milik_the_Red
Internet Philosopher
Quote by naughtynurse


For me that's a yes. I've loved men and I've loved women. I was married for a time, and divorced not through any cheating on my part but his. Monogamy is a state of mind. If I love someone, I'm not going to hide things from them. It Sex is such a small part of a relationship, I want more then that. I want a person I can laugh and cry with. Someone to hold and to be held by. That is what makes sex fulfilling to me. Not if they have a cock or not.


This just needs to be read again. I've been the cheater and I've been the guy who found it difficult to decide what I wanted sexually, but love is love. In the end, it transcends sex. If it's real and felt equally by both people there isn't a real desire to stray from it. Not even by me.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by Milik_The_Red


This just needs to be read again. I've been the cheater and I've been the guy who found it difficult to decide what I wanted sexually, but love is love. In the end, it transcends sex. If it's real and felt equally by both people there isn't a real desire to stray from it. Not even by me.


That is the thing. I married a man. I see women who are beguiling but I married him because of the person he is not his genitals. He knows I am a flirt and all of that but I made a choice to be with him. That is the thing with being bi. We can love who we want. No gender necessary. Not saying anyone else can't. Just saying as a bi this is what I feel and think.
dpw
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by NickiC


That is the thing. I married a man. I see women who are beguiling but I married him because of the person he is not his genitals. He knows I am a flirt and all of that but I made a choice to be with him. That is the thing with being bi. We can love who we want. No gender necessary. Not saying anyone else can't. Just saying as a bi this is what I feel and think.

I only ask has it ever been with a guy? If not could it be with a guy?
Not many bi guys are prepared to say yes.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by dpw

I only ask has it ever been with a guy? If not could it be with a guy?
Not many bi guys are prepared to say yes.


I wonder. But I have known bi men who married and are happy. Maybe, just maybe its a person to person thing and a spectrum. I think I tilt more to men so maybe it depends where you tilt. Just a thought.
dpw
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by NickiC


I wonder. But I have know bi men who married and are happy. Maybe, just maybe its a person to person thing and a spectrum. I think I tilt more to men so maybe it depends where you tilt. Just a thought.

I don't tilt, I've toppled over.
amsbiann
Rookie Scribe
As a bi woman in a relationship with a man, I do have times where I crave the touch of a woman. For my own sexual needs, I don't think I could have a monogamous relationship with a man long term. I have an agreement with my partner that he doesn't want me to go off sleeping with other women, but when there is good chemistry, I am welcome to bring a woman into our life sexually, or a three-way love relationship. We have been together a long time, and we have had both.

Have I felt not accepted for my sexuality? Yes. Mostly in the gay community.

The last 5 years or so, I have been much more open with friends/colleagues about my sexuality. I realized I was part of the problem of judgement/non-acceptance, if I wasn't willing to be open and honest about who I am.
Guest
Lurker
Beginning to think I would not hesitate to suck cock in a 3 way. But it would have to be a someone I actually knew.
dpw
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Young50
Beginning to think I would not hesitate to suck cock in a 3 way. But it would have to be a someone I actually knew.

Two ways are so much better trust me, you only have to concentrate on one person and not worry if one is feeling left out.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by dpw

Two ways are so much better trust me, you only have to concentrate on one person and not worry if one is feeling left out.


I have to agree. I am over threesomes. I prefer to concentrate on one on one. Plus when we used to do it dating the other person always got left out which wasn't fair to them. But to each their own.
Guest
Lurker
I think people should be whatever they choose to be without judgement. I am a bisexual and feel very comfortable with it.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by Guest
I think people should be whatever they choose to be without judgement. I am a bisexual and feel very comfortable with it.


Good for you.
PeachesAndDiesel
Advanced Wordsmith
Bisexuality is fine by me. I regard other people's sexuality as personal and confidential; meaning that even when it is shared with you it doesn't give you a right to pass on the information and certainly it is not a basis for making judgements.