Project Semi Colon: Lush Style

Quote by Lilly
For anyone struggling, I here you. You are not alone. We are all wore out and just doing our best.It has been a year of division and stress and a lot of fear. I was so down I couldn’t even get motivation to log on here. But saw my doctor and I am living in a world full of color again. If anyone is struggling and needs someone to just listen. I am here.

Quote by sprite
Just a little inspriation. 6 years ago i tried to kill myself. yesterday my wife and i bought a house. things do get better. hope everyone is in a good place today. if not, just hang in there. it does get better. you are loved.

Quote by sprite
Just a little inspriation. 6 years ago i tried to kill myself. yesterday my wife and i bought a house. things do get better. hope everyone is in a good place today. if not, just hang in there. it does get better. you are loved.

Quote by sprite
Just a little inspriation. 6 years ago i tried to kill myself. yesterday my wife and i bought a house. things do get better. hope everyone is in a good place today. if not, just hang in there. it does get better. you are loved.

Quote by sprite
Just a little inspriation. 6 years ago i tried to kill myself. yesterday my wife and i bought a house. things do get better. hope everyone is in a good place today. if not, just hang in there. it does get better. you are loved.

Quote by sprite
I wrote this up, recently, in the mod thread. Nicola suggested I share it with a larger audience, so here it is - there was a lot of incredibly personal stuff, beyond what follows, btw, that i felt wise to edit out, but the meat, as they say, is still here.

First off, Project semi colon can be found here:

http://www.projectsemicolon.com/

A few things, that some of you, myself included, might take pause at - it's faith based, meaning it has close ties to Christianity. That said, I like the idea enough to share the link - it might not be for everyone, but the idea of it is worthy. here goes...

Among other things, i am employed as a part time volunteer at an LGBT center. One of the kids today - yes, I am old enough to call them kids now - time to start drinking - one of the teens I work with had a semi-colon tattoo on his wrist. What's that, i wondered out loud. are you a writer?

Project semi-colon. I think I'd heard the name once. A semi colon is a pause. Apparently it was taken up by some people and became a thing - a pause, a story not finished. He showed me his scars, too. one on each wrist. We are all writers, even those who don't write. We all have a story to tell. Sometimes, though, people get to the point where they put down the pen and try to end it too early. It's a reminder, he tells me, that there's more to his story. I like the idea. I am planning on doing a little research into the project when time permits. I may even get my own tat. For now, I've drawn one on my left wrist. It's blue. I like blue. The dot bit and the comma are separated by a scar...

You can learn from anyone if you keep an open mind and just listen. Listening, is key, btw. Most of us just need to know that someone is listening. That's something else I get here. I know that I can find someone to listen when I really need it, whether in the forums, or one on one. I asked him about his story. He shared it. It's his though, and not mine. He asked me about mine, and I shared as well and he just listened. Simple as that. It felt good. It went something like this;

Shortly before New Years last year, I tried to kill myself. I have suffered from insomnia peppered by nightmares since I was 21. The last couple of years have been particularly bad. PTSD isn't fun to deal with. I just wanted to close my eyes and know that I could sleep in peace for one night. Figured the only way to do that, really, was to off myself. It wasn't one of the smartest things I've ever done. It almost wrecked my marriage. It almost destroyed a very precious friendship, and it derailed my new found career as a student. I am, currently, struggling again, and may very well go back on meds until I feel I can deal with it on my own. I don't like having to do that, but we have to do lots of things we don't like to keep ourselves healthy. Like eating broccoli... yuck. :)

I still have those thoughts from time to time. I still feel alone, even knowing I am surrounded by people who love me. We all have those moments. I am sharing my story here, but really, this is not about me. This is about all of you; of us. You are not alone. Ever. You all have beautiful stories that need to be finished. You all have people who care about you. Anytime any of you need someone to just listen, just say so. Sometimes it's hard to start talking - this wasn't easy, trust me, but once you do, you forget about it. You need to talk, talk. We all have shit that we go through, have gone through, will go through. None of it is trivial and it's never a contest. Even the "little things" that get to you can still loom large in your life.

This was hard, btw, coming out. I have only told a couple of people here my story. But I am glad I finally got the courage to do it. And, if you don't feel comfy doing it here, remember, people who love you are surround you, if you just open your eyes. reach out to them, to friends and family. Reach out to the community. You'd be surprised at the stories people here have beyond what we publish.

And, when someone reaches out to you, take a moment, a pause, if you will, to listen, to nod, to tell them that yeah, you get it, that you understand. Just listen. It's so very easy, it takes so little time and effort, and yet, it means so much.

xo
rachel

Quote by WiseGinger



Rachel,
This is one of the best posts I've ever read. You did an amazing job talking about yourself and I bet it wasn't easy. I wish I'd be as good as you. I'm too afraid, I had so many disappointments by friends who promised me to be good listeners but they really weren't. Trust is something I don't give lightly.
I'm not so good letting go, but I found that writing is my therapy and in my stories there's always a piece of myself. If a good reader want to read carefully, he/she can find me there. One day I wish I'd be able to tell my hole story as clearly as you did.
I don't know you, but please, accept my virtual hug.
Have a good rest of your day.

Quote by Twisted_Skald



So be kind to your friends, it can't be easy to see someone you love hurt and be unable to do anything about it.

Quote by WiseGinger



Rachel,
This is one of the best posts I've ever read. You did an amazing job talking about yourself and I bet it wasn't easy. I wish I'd be as good as you. I'm too afraid, I had so many disappointments by friends who promised me to be good listeners but they really weren't. Trust is something I don't give lightly.
I'm not so good letting go, but I found that writing is my therapy and in my stories there's always a piece of myself. If a good reader want to read carefully, he/she can find me there. One day I wish I'd be able to tell my hole story as clearly as you did.
I don't know you, but please, accept my virtual hug.
Have a good rest of your day.

Hey there all. Don’t think I have ever posted here, though I have read the posts here before. This is a courageous thread, and easy for no one to write in, I’m sure. Bless you all for your honesty.

My sister killed herself a few days after 9/11 in 2001. And we are once again heading toward that anniversary. I’ve done this 20 times now, and it hasn’t gotten any easier. It’s harder this year, I don’t know why. But every year, as the anniversary of 9/11 nears, it feels like the sun just gets darker, and on the actual anniversary of her death it feels like a total eclipse. Of course, eclipses don’t last that long, thank god, so a few days later and I am crawling out of the shadows and back into life. But there is a week or so where I am stumbling around in the darkness.

Anyway, I read what Rachael said above, about listening and healing and trust, and decided to share. I usually keep my feelings held pretty close to the vest. But it comforted me to write it, and know that someone is probably listening. 

Peace everyone, and hugs.

Quote by Ensorceled

Hey there all. Don’t think I have ever posted here, though I have read the posts here before. This is a courageous thread, and easy for no one to write in, I’m sure. Bless you all for your honesty.

My sister killed herself a few days after 9/11 in 2001. And we are once again heading toward that anniversary. I’ve done this 20 times now, and it hasn’t gotten any easier. It’s harder this year, I don’t know why. But every year, as the anniversary of 9/11 nears, it feels like the sun just gets darker, and on the actual anniversary of her death it feels like a total eclipse. Of course, eclipses don’t last that long, thank god, so a few days later and I am crawling out of the shadows and back into life. But there is a week or so where I am stumbling around in the darkness.

Anyway, I read what Rachael said above, about listening and healing and trust, and decided to share. I usually keep my feelings held pretty close to the vest. But it comforted me to write it, and know that someone is probably listening. 

Peace everyone, and hugs.

Hi Jeff, I hear you. Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself, I haven't really been brave enough to do that yet. I'll be thinking of you closely over the next week, and sending you mental and virtual hugs and comfort. I won't pretend to understand how you're feeling. I only know what it's like to feel so lost and hurt that taking my own life seemed like the best way out. Know you are loved, respected, and that your community here will be sending you some light so that you know you are not alone during this darkness.  

Quote by Ensorceled

Hey there all. Don’t think I have ever posted here, though I have read the posts here before. This is a courageous thread, and easy for no one to write in, I’m sure. Bless you all for your honesty.

My sister killed herself a few days after 9/11 in 2001. And we are once again heading toward that anniversary. I’ve done this 20 times now, and it hasn’t gotten any easier. It’s harder this year, I don’t know why. But every year, as the anniversary of 9/11 nears, it feels like the sun just gets darker, and on the actual anniversary of her death it feels like a total eclipse. Of course, eclipses don’t last that long, thank god, so a few days later and I am crawling out of the shadows and back into life. But there is a week or so where I am stumbling around in the darkness.

Anyway, I read what Rachael said above, about listening and healing and trust, and decided to share. I usually keep my feelings held pretty close to the vest. But it comforted me to write it, and know that someone is probably listening. 

Peace everyone, and hugs.

I'm sorry Sprite, for all you've endured and whatever you may still endure. I am very happy that your life has turned around and that it's better now. To anyone else going through a rough time,  I hope you can change it for the better and there are people willing to help you. 

I too know what it's like to want to give up. I've had my share of tries.(3) 

I do hope we all get what we want, need and deserve. It's never a linear path, nor is it easy. I hope we can all hang on until there are changes made, opportunities present and miracles received when we need them. 

I wish the very best for us all. 

Love, Angel ❤❤❤

Quote by Godsangel

I'm sorry Sprite, for all you've endured and whatever you may still endure. I am very happy that your life has turned around and that it's better now. To anyone else going through a rough time,  I hope you can change it for the better and there are people willing to help you. 

I too know what it's like to want to give up. I've had my share of tries.(3) 

I do hope we all get what we want, need and deserve. It's never a linear path, nor is it easy. I hope we can all hang on until there are changes made, opportunities present and miracles received when we need them. 

I wish the very best for us all. 

Love, Angel ❤❤❤

We gotchoo ❤

Quote by AppleByBoom

Quote by Godsangel

I'm sorry Sprite, for all you've endured and whatever you may still endure. I am very happy that your life has turned around and that it's better now. To anyone else going through a rough time,  I hope you can change it for the better and there are people willing to help you. 

I too know what it's like to want to give up. I've had my share of tries.(3) 

I do hope we all get what we want, need and deserve. It's never a linear path, nor is it easy. I hope we can all hang on until there are changes made, opportunities present and miracles received when we need them. 

I wish the very best for us all. 

Love, Angel ❤❤❤

We gotchoo ❤

I read this thread for inspiration when things get tough. Love all the honest sharing and support. 

Mom didn't know me yesterday for the first time. I told her about her daughter Kimberly anyway. Then, I found a bench in the park and had a very long cry.

Life is a journey, isn't it? A wise man told me we are all here to learn and our struggles prepare us for what comes next. Sometimes a successful day is just getting out of bed. Keep supporting one another as compassion is more contagious than the coronavirus.  

Quote by KimmiBeGood

I read this thread for inspiration when things get tough. Love all the honest sharing and support. 

Mom didn't know me yesterday for the first time. I told her about her daughter Kimberly anyway. Then, I found a bench in the park and had a very long cry.

Life is a journey, isn't it? A wise man told me we are all here to learn and our struggles prepare us for what comes next. Sometimes a successful day is just getting out of bed. Keep supporting one another as compassion is more contagious than the coronavirus.  

I can't imagine how painful that is. I work with families all the time who go through this with loved ones who have a diagnosis of dementia. You're incredibly strong and brave. Keep doing what you're doing girlie, your mum is so lucky to have you. ❤

Quote by AppleByBoom

Quote by KimmiBeGood

I read this thread for inspiration when things get tough. Love all the honest sharing and support. 

Mom didn't know me yesterday for the first time. I told her about her daughter Kimberly anyway. Then, I found a bench in the park and had a very long cry.

Life is a journey, isn't it? A wise man told me we are all here to learn and our struggles prepare us for what comes next. Sometimes a successful day is just getting out of bed. Keep supporting one another as compassion is more contagious than the coronavirus.  

I can't imagine how painful that is. I work with families all the time who go through this with loved ones who have a diagnosis of dementia. You're incredibly strong and brave. Keep doing what you're doing girlie, your mum is so lucky to have you. ❤

Quote by KimmiBeGood

Quote by AppleByBoom

Quote by KimmiBeGood

I read this thread for inspiration when things get tough. Love all the honest sharing and support. 

Mom didn't know me yesterday for the first time. I told her about her daughter Kimberly anyway. Then, I found a bench in the park and had a very long cry.

Life is a journey, isn't it? A wise man told me we are all here to learn and our struggles prepare us for what comes next. Sometimes a successful day is just getting out of bed. Keep supporting one another as compassion is more contagious than the coronavirus.  

I can't imagine how painful that is. I work with families all the time who go through this with loved ones who have a diagnosis of dementia. You're incredibly strong and brave. Keep doing what you're doing girlie, your mum is so lucky to have you. ❤

Its been a process. Thank you! She's in late stage Alzheimers now. Her Dr said all have significantly declined due to Covid isolation, lockdowns. Her facility has let us see her consistently though. My twin and I grieved the loss of our Mom already and will grieve again once her body joins her Spirit. 

Quote by KimmiBeGood

Quote by AppleByBoom

Quote by KimmiBeGood

I read this thread for inspiration when things get tough. Love all the honest sharing and support. 

Mom didn't know me yesterday for the first time. I told her about her daughter Kimberly anyway. Then, I found a bench in the park and had a very long cry.

Life is a journey, isn't it? A wise man told me we are all here to learn and our struggles prepare us for what comes next. Sometimes a successful day is just getting out of bed. Keep supporting one another as compassion is more contagious than the coronavirus.  

I can't imagine how painful that is. I work with families all the time who go through this with loved ones who have a diagnosis of dementia. You're incredibly strong and brave. Keep doing what you're doing girlie, your mum is so lucky to have you. ❤

Its been a process. Thank you! She's in late stage Alzheimers now. Her Dr said all have significantly declined due to Covid isolation, lockdowns. Her facility has let us see her consistently though. My twin and I grieved the loss of our Mom already and will grieve again once her body joins her Spirit.

Oh Kimmi.

I'm so sorry for all that you're going through,  I know it can be so hard to keep going when you just can't see the road ahead.

Just remember you're a wonderful human being, your Lush family love you and for all the times you've been there for us in our dark times we'd all do anything we can do help you.

For now you have my sympathies,  my love and my prayers. It isn't nearly enough but I send it willingly to give you strength to fight on.

For more than words can say, I'm with you in thought and spirit.

Quote by KimmiBeGood

I read this thread for inspiration when things get tough. Love all the honest sharing and support. 

Mom didn't know me yesterday for the first time. I told her about her daughter Kimberly anyway. Then, I found a bench in the park and had a very long cry.

Life is a journey, isn't it? A wise man told me we are all here to learn and our struggles prepare us for what comes next. Sometimes a successful day is just getting out of bed. Keep supporting one another as compassion is more contagious than the coronavirus.  

As for Kimmi, I shared some crap news I had earlier this year and her first reaction was "First, you will be FINE!!! You will!!!" Another time she said "Well, this all sounds like a lot, but you will get through it! You will! Just take one day at a time. Find joy somewhere every day." 

She is one of two regulars on Lush that have been absolute rocks for me this year even with everything she has going on in her life. Like everyone who has posted in this thread, she deserves nothing but happiness and peace and I hope that before long and without too many more trials, she finds it; I hope you all do.

Kimmi, you know you can drop me a line any time {{{Kimmi}}} 

For anyone that needs it:

Just taking a moment to send you all some love, some hugs and a reminder that the world is a brighter place for you being in it.

Getting my own tattoo soon.