lol this in now my favourite way to to 'hear' a joke
Two nuns walked into a bar, the third one ducked....
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates A skeleton walks into a bar...
He asks for a pint of lager and a mop...
A countably infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a pint; the second orders a half pint; the third orders a quarter pint...
The bartender sighs, says, "You guys are idiots," and pours two pints.
The past, the present and the future walked into a bar...
It was tense...
A guy walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: "Pint please and one for the road."
An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life, breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy." She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women." The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."
Cowboy: Gimmie three packs of condoms.
Chemist: Will you be needing a bag sir?
Cowboy: Nope - I got one at home.