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Would you forgive your partner/spouse for cheating? Would you rather they did not tell you?

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Simplicity
Just me
There wouldn't be any need for forgiveness because there wouldn't be a relationship. If he felt the need to cheat, why would he need me?
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ChuckEPoo
Chuckanator
Actually a really good question. Yes I'd want to know and yes I'd forgive. Our relationship is deeper than just sex. We are open and honest enough now to not lie. My wife is amazing and I know desired by many. If I were to get jealous of every guy that hit on her I would go nuts.
Guest
Lurker
There is never a reason to lie. I would want to know up front and I would make sure she would be safe. He would use protection and then it would be up to her if she wanted me there or not. If they are going to do it, you can't stop them, but you can make sure they are protected.
SamWarrens
Active Ink Slinger
I think before anything I'd want her to tell me why. If I understood the reason, I think I could forgive, not forget, but truly forgive. The next part of the discussion would be about our relationship going forward. Divorce, open marriage/relationship or rebuild the marriage/union? It would have to be a jointly agreed decision.
alittle2horny
Active Ink Slinger
My wife thinks porn and fantasizing is cheating. I think sexting guys and then trying to meet them alone and getting caught before they could meet is as good as cheating.

I would not trust anyone who cheats again but my next relationship will be very open from the start.
doctorlove
Active Ink Slinger
If they cheat, what makes you think that they will be honest? Would rather they not cheat in the first place.
69Kisses96
Active Ink Slinger
I'm not really interested in the "You belong to me" attitude. Sex and love are two distinct things.
Guest
Lurker
I insist that my missus cheats and tells me before she cheats. That way I can watch her getting screwed.

Love it!!!
avrgblkgrl
In-House Sapiosexual
.



When we were dating, my husband told me something extremely profound: Don’t ask me a question if you are not prepared for the answer. I won’t lie to you.

He has never given me any reason to think that he is untruthful. He expects the same from me and because of that I owe him nothing but the truth. We have the most honest and real relationship than I have ever had. Having sex with someone just doesn’t happen, you don’t slip and accidently fall on some man’s dick or pull some panties off and start flicking some girl’s clit with your tongue. There are stages that lead to that. That’s where you start cheating. That’s when you should start sharing with your mate. I don’t consider an agreed upon occurrence as cheating. Cheating involves deceit, a trick or an artifice.

.
? A True Story ?
moon03
Active Ink Slinger
ABG, I agree to your view. Cheating involves deceit. If you can't be truthful just don't get involved. Go for relationships with 'no strings attached'. It wouldn't hurt anyone.
studlaindia
Active Ink Slinger
YES. I will convey with sweet voice to get me to see it
HotWife4U
Madam Carol
Quote by avrgblkgrl
.



When we were dating, my husband told me something extremely profound: Don’t ask me a question if you are not prepared for the answer. I won’t lie to you.

He has never given me any reason to think that he is untruthful. He expects the same from me and because of that I owe him nothing but the truth. We have the most honest and real relationship than I have ever had. Having sex with someone just doesn’t happen, you don’t slip and accidently fall on some man’s dick or pull some panties off and start flicking some girl’s clit with your tongue. There are stages that lead to that. That’s where you start cheating. That’s when you should start sharing with your mate. I don’t consider an agreed upon occurrence as cheating. Cheating involves deceit, a trick or an artifice.

.


Reggie this is perfect. Anyone that has read the saga of our marriage knows that we've both cheated and paid the heart breaking consequences. Now that we are in an open marriage honesty is the corner block of our relationship. Cheating is about deception not sex. I discovered you can cheat and never make physical contact. Cheating starts and ends mentally.

Chuck and I explore new things constantly but we do whatever with the full knowledge and consent of the other. Anything that is not agreed on doesn't happen. Period! Suddenly our life is so rich and filled with exciting possibilities.

The hardest thing was coming out of the shadows with our lifestyle. Our family knows because we shared it with them. Trust me, that was not easy. We received mixed reviews, from 'cool' to 'how could you?' We explained this was not some lustful thing that happened, but a well thought out mutual decision. We also know it is not for everyone. For us it works and works well.
Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Yes, I would absolutely want to know. No, I don't think I could forgive it, but I suppose it would somewhat depend on the circumstances.
ChuckEPoo
Chuckanator
Well as you can see, my wife lets it just hang out there for the whole world to see. Lol.

I think that forgiveness and the ability to reconcile is foundational to not just marriage but to any serious relationship along with communication. One problem is when people want to cheat for the thrill of cheating. It seems dangerous and exciting at first. The the whole relationship is doomed to 'don't ask don't tell.'
Meggsy
Active Ink Slinger
Cheating is just that - cheating. It is essential that you are open about it. It may be hard to discuss but there is a reason it happened.
I have been many things in my life but I dont consider I have cheated and have always been open about my many relationships.
Being in a FWB arrangement we all have more or less agreed to keep our relationships 'in house' but that is not a commitment. If one of us engages with somebody outside the group we will always admit and discuss it. The risk of infection is basically the major concern.
Our group formed a couple of years ago and we are still more than happy with what transpires between us. There have been rare instances of indiscretion however it was some time ago.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
like a few others, my wife and i have a similar stance on sleeping with others. we have a somewhat open marriage which means, if one of us plans on fucking someone else, we discuss it with each other before it happens and, if the other vetos it, then it doesn't happen, simple as that. it's only cheating if you're doing it behind someone's back and if that happened, i think the consequences would be more than either of us want to experience, so we just don't go there.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
ChuckEPoo
Chuckanator
Quote by sprite
like a few others, my wife and i have a similar stance on sleeping with others. we have a somewhat open marriage which means, if one of us plans on fucking someone else, we discuss it with each other before it happens and, if the other vetos it, then it doesn't happen, simple as that. it's only cheating if you're doing it behind someone's back and if that happened, i think the consequences would be more than either of us want to experience, so we just don't go there.


Perfect. I ditto that.
ChuckEPoo
Chuckanator
Quote by HotWife4U


The hardest thing was coming out of the shadows with our lifestyle. Our family knows because we shared it with them. Trust me, that was not easy. We received mixed reviews, from 'cool' to 'how could you?' We explained this was not some lustful thing that happened, but a well thought out mutual decision. We also know it is not for everyone. For us it works and works well.


Omg that had to be the most uncomfortable conversation of my life when we talked to your mom. You were kinda talking clinically and when she got the gist of what you were explaining, she looked directly at me and said, "You allow my daughter, your beautiful bride to be with other men?"

I instantly shrunk to the size of a mouse. I couldn't speak. But... Carol came to my rescue explaining it is a mutual decision that we thought out carefully and sought the opinion of a councilor.

Then mom searching for someone to blame says, "This would never happened if you hadn't become a democrat."
Dancewithme
Active Ink Slinger
Wow! This page of posts has been very insightful, and I thank the posters for the openness and honesty.
1nympholes
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Regello77
I would forgive my wife for cheating , as long as she wanted to be forgiven ! Love and trust are paramount features of a marriage ; physical , sexual needs are another matter .



David Darling would she really object so much,

If K won't do certain thing with you that I do.

Would she object so much?

K knows between you and I there is a special Love.

Would she object so much?

Your special lady knows our love is not the kind that threatens her nor your love for her.

Would she object so much?

You know and she knows you would never run off with me because it is based on our lust.

Would she object so much?

It is only about sex, we should all want to share this most beautiful experience with those we care about.

Why should she object so much?
1nympholes
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by ChuckEPoo


Omg that had to be the most uncomfortable conversation of my life when we talked to your mom. You were kinda talking clinically and when she got the gist of what you were explaining, she looked directly at me and said, "You allow my daughter, your beautiful bride to be with other men?"

I instantly shrunk to the size of a mouse. I couldn't speak. But... Carol came to my rescue explaining it is a mutual decision that we thought out carefully and sought the opinion of a councilor.

Then mom searching for someone to blame says, "This would never happened if you hadn't become a democrat."


ONE SMART MOM
cdlsf
Advanced Wordsmith
I don't know. But, I tend to think that I'd want to know why. At least, I'd know what didn't work and find out if there was someone's fault or it did just happen. I won't like to know that I was cheated, I'd hate that, but, if that person choosed, willingly and knowing what he/she was to do, then, I'll be sad about that and I'll try not to care. In the end, it's not like I own someone, nor that I can ignore my feelings. I'm the type that tends to offer his hearth and toughts to someone and, even tought I know that I shoudn't expect the same, at least, I'd think that I'd want to know the truth as.. only by doing so I'll have a better chance to act and do what's the best for us.
"You can't stop perfection" - Meng Hao (character, main character)
Guest
Lurker
I truly don't know how I would handle it.

I think I would rather have her tell me. It would be hard but that would help me to decide if I would forgive her or not.

If she didn't tell me I don't think I could forgive her.
LillyLush
Active Ink Slinger
I'll forgive, but not forget...
I like the way you make me feel even when I'm nowhere near...
Dasiydoes
Dutchess Of Dancing

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

A secret isn't a secret if 2 know it🤐
DazzlingLove
Active Ink Slinger

I honestly think I would be devastated. I do believe I could find it in my heart to forgive but it's going to take so much work from the both of us to get back to any semblance of what we were before the infidelity. I think it would take a solid year before that wound scabbed over.
Unknown User

I'd forgive so well that I end the relationship.

I've never been cheated on and I wouldn't cheat either. No to sexually/emotionally cheating.

Jellwood58
Active Ink Slinger

Forty-two years after the incident and forty-one after the divorce I can tell you I have not forgotten and have not forgiven.
smilewithhappiness
Active Ink Slinger

I would not forgive and forget if my partner if they cheat

Ensorceled
Easily amused

I don’t think I could handle it. I would try. I think sexual jealousy would tear me apart. I kind of admire open relationships because there is no way I could do it.

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