It's in the title. If you're married or in a relationship, And your partner doesn't know you're a member of lush, you enjoy reading the stories, maybe have some chats with fellow members, yet never physically get involved with anyone else.. would you say that's cheating??
Sex chatting or having other dirty/naughty conversations: yes, completely. If saying the same words over the phone, through text, or in person is cheating why wouldn't it be on the computer as well. Especially if your sharing photos etc.
I depends on what you are doing and what you and your partner define as cheating.. For me cheating is physical contact, so if you have not touched the other person, I dont consider that cheating..
Quote by Aussie_kitty77 Depends what your doing (eg reading no) and if you are honest with your partner
Ahh, you took the words right out of my mouth. I agree 100%. Reading, scoring, posting that's all well and good, but if you're meeting up with people, cybering and, etc than I consider that cheating.
Reading stories, visiting the forums, chat rooms for general chat and posting pics(not personal)...No
Once you start cybering, roleplaying, exchanging pictures, yes totally.
Talking dirty here(on Lush or internet period) is no different than talking on the phone, or texting etc... it is cheating, especially when emotions come into play.
I am guilty as charged, your honor. And no excuses, but she's gotten very conservative over the last 5-7 years. Get's upset even if I look at a scantily clad woman on TheChive..... I love her dearly and would never physically cheat with another woman in real life, but yes, I suppose I am cheating.
Admittedly, I am torn over this subject a great deal.
"Being male is a matter of birth.
Being a man is a matter of age.
Being a gentleman is a matter of choice."
Unknown User
If you are reading stories...no
If you are looking at pictures or watching porn..no
Now here is where things TRULY get...sticky
Masturbating with another on HERE is cheating
Not masturbating to a story
You can say NO physical contact but you have to think this..
If your beloved logged on everyday to cyber fuck another how would you feel
But I have ZERO right to judge anyone
And as I got into a fight with someone on here..marriage means sex..not roommates
To deny your partner YOUR physical love is so hurtful...so destructive. .it is as bad as cheating
But we all do things that are harmful. .drink..smoke..eat..reckless behavior...
Maybe because we do NOT think we are worthy of what we want
Sexual needs are always different in relationships. ...
Maybe if you didn't have relationships on here while being committed to another..maybe stranger cybering would..be less offensive
Again no judgement. .I have met several people on here that would tempt me...seriously tempt me..whew!
I do advise this...clear your history every time and if you use a phone lock it
And be prepared. .you might get caught. .you might not...what CAN you lose..if you do
Quote by thesexynun If you are reading stories...no
If you are looking at pictures or watching porn..no
Now here is where things TRULY get...sticky
Masturbating with another on HERE is cheating
Not masturbating to a story
You can say NO physical contact but you have to think this..
If your beloved logged on everyday to cyber fuck another how would you feel
But I have ZERO right to judge anyone
And as I got into a fight with someone on here..marriage means sex..not roommates
To deny your partner YOUR physical love is so hurtful...so destructive. .it is as bad as cheating
But we all do things that are harmful. .drink..smoke..eat..reckless behavior...
Maybe because we do NOT think we are worthy of what we want
Sexual needs are always different in relationships. ...
Maybe if you didn't have relationships on here while being committed to another..maybe stranger cybering would..be less offensive
Again no judgement. .I have met several people on here that would tempt me...seriously tempt me..whew!
I do advise this...clear your history every time and if you use a phone lock it
And be prepared. .you might get caught. .you might not...what CAN you lose..if you do
I agree with all of the above...hubby knows I read erotic stories and he is ok with that, BUT he doesn't know I occasionally have sexual chats with other men and I already know that is a big no no in our relationship, so I am guilty. As stated above, I am not judging anyone, but I do feel it depends on what you are doing on lush and some actions can be viewed as cheating, especially if you are being sexual with another person and your significant other would not approve or would be hurt by it.
I think its a case of being honest with each other. Discuss and respect boundaries. The second you start actively hiding something, then it's cheating.
Even if physical sex isn't happening, emotional infidelity is a thing. Besides, there's so much more to sex than just the physical act. I think probably that would be obvious on a site dedicated to stories of seduction and eroticism. It's one thing to read/post stories, look at pics and videos, fantasize, etc. But for me, I think there's a line to be crossed when you start giving an intimate part of yourself that should be reserved for your partner to another specific person. Not judging anyone who comes to the site looking to get off with other members - we've all got our own reasons to be here - but for me, I'm not sure it's a line I'm ready to cross. I feel like that would be damaging to my relationship and hurtful to my partner - and therefore cheating.
Emotional infidelity is an important part. And it goes two ways. A partner who isn't giving themselves to the sexual union can't really complain when the other comes here for some relief. The responsibility goes both ways.
We have played with married men. It's so sad to listen to how their wives just aren't interested in sex any more. Of course we only hear one side.
Honesty simply works better. That doesn't mean sharing everything you do, but it does mean coming to an agreement about what you can do separately.
I always ask the married/in a relationship men I'm talking to if their spouses know they mess around here.. some of them say yes, some say no then gives you a list of reasons.. it all comes down to honesty to me.. be fair to your wife, let her at least know these reasons, because if you're keeping this from her, the problem won't go away.. and you look like making excuses to fooling around with other people.. for me, it is cheating when you have those list of reasons and not even attempting to resolve the problem with your spouse.. or not trying hard enough.. it is cheating because instead of facing the problem, you escape it.. so in short, you're not only denying your wife of the chance to find a solution to your relationship problems, you are also being unfair to her by enjoying the company of others in a cyber sexual manner..
She's mad, but she's magic. There's no lie in her fire. ~ Charles Bukowski
Usually the best way to find out if it's wrong is to consider how you would feel if your partner did the same thing. Personally I wouldn't have an issue with my partner being on lush and interacting the way I interact. I don't sleep with anybody from the site and I don't think I ignore him in favour of lush so I don't think it is cheating.
hmmm, reading some of the comments here makes me feel guilty. My b/f doesn't know but he definitely enjoys a benefit. I love him loads but can't bring myself to tell him about Lush.
In my case I only came here looking to write my own true story (which I haven't done) and then got wrapped up reading stories in the areas I love. Yes, I chat with guys and listen to what's in their head.
If you are just reading stories ect, then no I do not think it is, however, I think that if you are in a real life relationship yet coming online to get sexual gratification also with someone else, then yes, I think in a way it is because sometimes these relationships can become deeply emotional but regardless it is still a sexual encounter with someone other than your significant other and therefore technically cheating.
I say this purely from my own point of view as to how I would view it if my partner (If I had one) was doing it to me...I certainly do not judge others who do it as that is not my business, however, because of my personal view on the matter, I steer clear of all married men here in any sexual way because I am a firm believer in you do not do unto another what you would not like done to yourself.
But that is just my personal opinion.... Some have argued it is just masturbating and therefore not cheating and feel it is the same as watching porn, but you know what I don't feel that way, if I caught my partner watching porn I would not care, if I caught him cybering here with one or multiple people, I would care and would be very deeply hurt.
The Duchess of Tart
Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.
I have permission to read and comment on the forum and to read stories and go into chat rooms, but not to engage in any role play, mutual sex talk or any other interaction like that.
I would regard role play, sexting or anything similar as inappropriate without His express permission.
I don't feel there is one right answer. I've always lived with the idea of faithfulness without fail for any reason in all ways, both physical and emotional.
However, when I realized my marriage was doomed despite tremendous amounts of effort and energy on my part, I also realized my feelings have changed over time.
Now i believe it is your spouse's obligation to actively attempt to fulfill your sexual and emotional needs. Just as it is your obligation to fulfill theirs. But so often people give up on sex, emotional connection, or both.
Rejecting your spouse sexually is both a physical and emotional rejection and can be incredibly damaging. If your mate rejects you then they are breaking their vows to you also. They are continually putting themselves ahead of you and in fact, ahead of the marriage.
That said, I do define sexual talk with another person in real time designed to arouse or satisfy sexual arousal as infidelity at its most basic definition. But I feel the real question is "Is it justified?" That answer is different for everyone.
For instance, murder is always murder-the taking of another life. But we define whether it is acceptable based upon the reason the murder was committed. When at war with an enemy you become a hero; when a spouse is being abused it is often dismissed as kill or be killed yourself; if it is to protect your family during a break-in you are saving others lives; if it was an accident such as in a moment of distraction while driving, it is punished but not as severely as it would have been if you were drunk driving. And on and on and on. But the same act occurred in each event...someone's life was ended because of an action of another.
That is an extreme comparison but it does illustrate how the same action can be perceived very differently depending upon the circumstances. I feel that only the individual or individuals involved can decide what is right or wrong for them in their situation. Is it ok if your wife only wants sex once a week? What about once a month? Or is it only ok if they only want it once a year? Or if your husband wants sex but is emotionally lacking, even abusive? Or if your partner says it is ok as long as you limit your activities to just certain things? Or....? There are so many different situations.
Ultimately, I feel if a person feels they are doing wrong then they are. Sinning against your own conscience is probably the saddest sin. Because every time you give in you are damaging your self-worth. It is essentially you hurting you. And every time you give in you are also chipping away at your moral compass-changing how you may react in the future. If we feel guilty about anything (be it cybersex or eating a second piece of pie) then we should always step back for a moment and really reflect about what action will make us feel better, both immediately and long-term.
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