It's an outdated concept, imho. I've known people who were pressured by their parents to take abstinence until marriage pledges, and yes of course it backfired eventually.
Thing is, there have been very few periods in history where it really worked that way. Anyone who says otherwise had rose-coloured glasses on.
I did not wait and neither my wife nor I felt any pressure to do so. We did not go around openly screwing for all who would see, but it was an open secret that she lived in my apartment when she was visiting (we lived apart for a period prior to the wedding) and that I only had one bed.
In the end, it needs to be a personal decision by the couple involved based on their values and beliefs. I'm not going to condemn someone for premarital sex but I'm not going to condemn someone who goes the abstinence road either. What I will come down on is (a) trying to say that everyone else needs to hold and follow your values and beliefs on the subject and (b) being a hypocrite about it (you know them, the ones who decry premarital sex but avoid the fact that their own bride was starting her second trimester on their wedding day).
For me, this is an outdated ideal, along the same lines as arranged marriages. It was instituted by early religions as a way of controlling what certain sections of society saw as deviant behaviour and a way of controlling and supressing women. It is outdated, backwards and damaging. I am not advocating fucking constantly and as soon as you can, you should wait for the right person and when you feel ready, but waiting until marriage is silly. Christians pick and choose what parts of the bible to look at. Wait until marriage for sex, but we'll just ignore the parts. How many Christians do you know abstain from eating pork? How many people have had an orgasm against the word of God?
I think that if two people truly WANT to wait then more power to them. However, when people are pressured to wait until marriage by family or religion, they are usually more likely to rush into a marriage. For example, my boyfriends family is very religious and believes in celibacy until marriage. Today, his 18 year old cousin (who just graduated high school in June) married her 18 year old boyfriend (Who also just graduated high school in June). I think they are too young and have rushed into this simply because they want to sleep together and move in together without their families and their church telling them that they are destined to spend eternity in hell.
Sadly, many of today's young people aren't taking any responsibility. Our station did a report earlier this year and research told us that in the last few years women are increasingly becoming more approving of one-night stands – growing from 5 to 13%. I found that alarming.
Since I'm probably never getting married, the idea kinda sucks! Oh wait... already crossed that bridge!
There are some wonderful benefits about abstaining until marriage. No worries about who your partner has slept with, no worries about any sexually transmitted diseases... and, you get to learn all about it together at the same pace! For a long time that concept was tossed out, but from what I hear it may be on the rise again. Lots of pros about waiting. The con, of course, is that it's pretty hard being horny and abstaining at the same time!
I am not married and believe I never will be. I have been having and enjoying sex for years. It has made no difference to me or my friends.
I am different to many in the ideas I have I know, but to me marriage is just a piece of paper. and has nothing to do with a good sex life.
I was a virgin until my wedding night. Not sure whether to pat myself on the back or weep. It must have been one of the most sexless marriages in human history.
i say you have to test drive the car before you buy it...
I sincerely wanted to wait until I was married, but I did wait until after high school and was a bit more mature (which was a stretch for me, because I acted like an old crotchety woman anyway)
I feel -and very strongly so- that it's wrong. I had sex when I was 20 for the first time, I'm 30 now. Not married, not even thinking about it.
To each their own, but I was badly hurt when my boyfriend tried to convince me that wanting each other was wrong. And eleven years after, it still hurts somehow. And I will never forgive those who planted that idea in his head and keep doing so on other people.
To each their own, if that's what feels right then go for it. Or rather, don't go for it.
