I do try to trust someone until they give me a reason not to, but given that most people come here to leave behind the limitations and inhibitions that bind them in real life, it seems unlikely that someone is going to place more of those same limitations on themselves here. Granted, anything is possible and the unlikely can happen anywhere. It's quite possible that one can meet their soul mate here. However, something being possible is not the same as being probable. Given how often "friends" on here just suddenly disappear seemingly without reason or cause (a thread was written on that subject) it seems improbable that monogamy is a realistic expectation for lush.
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Exclusivity within a cyber-relationship. A promise taken seriously or not?
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Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Honesty, transparency, commitment and trust should be as important in the cyber world as they are in real life.
Rainbow Warrior
I'm not even exclusive with any of my lovers in real life. I'd never entertain the notion of exclusivity online.
Site administrator
Quote by trinket
I never said I think you could never find someone to love you John. Don't put words in my mouth. My post was a joke... same as every other post on this thread. My relationship status has nothing to do with this poll. I'm sorry if you felt like I was belittling you, that wasn't my intent. Perhaps you could have asked me instead of assuming. I was joking with you, as we sometimes do, and joking as I usually am. You are one of the few people on lush who I have a very high regard for. I've never seen you be anything but a gentleman. I think any girl would be lucky to have you as their partner.
Thank you. Lets move on T
Yes, I would take a cyber-sex relationship seriously - if exclusivity was agreed upon at the front end, then so be it...I would honor that. To date at this website, I don't think I've enjoyed a full-fledged cyber-sex relationship, so I enjoy all my friends on this site...our flirting, etc. Still, there is that special someone - perhaps we'll go further in the future so that we would "stake a claim" on each other. I think that would be more rewarding.
Quote by drillsarge2
Yes, I would take a cyber-sex relationship seriously - if exclusivity was agreed upon at the front end, then so be it...I would honor that. To date at this website, I don't think I've enjoyed a full-fledged cyber-sex relationship, so I enjoy all my friends on this site...our flirting, etc. Still, there is that special someone - perhaps we'll go further in the future so that we would "stake a claim" on each other. I think that would be more rewarding.
Total Respect... What a BEAUTIFUL post.
xx SF
(I hope you get lucky...)
Active Ink Slinger
The Internet is my playground so nope. He shouldn't expect me to be either.
Site administrator
I have to say I am quite surprised at the outcome thus far ... 27 votes with 59% taking an agreement with ones partner to be exclusive seriously.
The Bee's Knees
hmm... i don't consider a cyber sex relationship and an online relationship to be the same thing. as far as a cyber relationship goes, i'm NOT exclusive. i consider lush to be a place to explore my fantasies and i do just that. that being said, however, i'm VERY upfront with my online playmates. they know where i stand from the jump.
as far as online relationships, i'm the EXACT opposite! i've only been in 3 but i took those as seriously as i do my offline relationships. i ONLY had eyes for them and ceased any other playing.
as far as online relationships, i'm the EXACT opposite! i've only been in 3 but i took those as seriously as i do my offline relationships. i ONLY had eyes for them and ceased any other playing.
Say. Her. Name.
Convict
Quote by honeydipped
hmm... i don't consider a cyber sex relationship and an online relationship to be the same thing. as far as a cyber relationship goes, i'm NOT exclusive. i consider lush to be a place to explore my fantasies and i do just that. that being said, however, i'm VERY upfront with my online playmates. they know where i stand from the jump.
as far as online relationships, i'm the EXACT opposite! i've only been in 3 but i took those as seriously as i do my offline relationships. i ONLY had eyes for them and ceased any other playing.
I don't understand what you mean when you say cyber-sex relationships and online relationships are not the same thing. Could you explain why you think they are different?
My new Flash Fiction:
An Extraordinary Orgasm.
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/flash-erotica/an-extraordinary-orgasm-2
Convict
Quote by Cyndy
My on-line lovers are my on-line lovers. We share fantasies together and other things too! I am exclusive with all of them (well, there aren't that many). I am there for their needs, and they are there for mine.
That made me laugh out loud. Thank you.
My new Flash Fiction:
An Extraordinary Orgasm.
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/flash-erotica/an-extraordinary-orgasm-2
The more I thought about it, the more I understood that when I am with an on-line lover, they have my full attention. It's not like I am sitting having a coffee or reading a magazine at the same time. I want to please them and I want to be pleased. So, I guess, with that in mind, that's why I am exclusive with all of them. I take them all seriously (for the moments we are together). After that, I am off back into my world's reality. But for those moments.... my fantasies come true!
Convict
I'm surprised at the results for this poll. I thought there would be a lot less votes for taking an online commitment seriously. It me smile to know there are a lot of members here who also get an emotional connection with online friends. Thanks for participating but feel free to keep posting on this thread.
My new Flash Fiction:
An Extraordinary Orgasm.
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/flash-erotica/an-extraordinary-orgasm-2
Advanced Wordsmith
People connect in various ways, some to the intensity of the fantasy they use the online world as a shield for what is not theirs in the real world. Others to explore ideas and thoughts that would be dangerous or just not possible in their real life. Others make real friends and connections, they are honest and respectful as they would be if you met them on a plane sitting next to them. People do all manner of bad things in real life (watch the news anytime recently?). In a forum where they are far more anonymous people shed some of their inhibitions (and in many cases much easier to say what the person wants to hear) many will become someone else for a little.
In that regard the question should be "is it fair to ask someone to be exclusive online?" when you expect no such behavior offline why box someone in. You should not need to ask for that, if you have a connection, and your time is absorbed into the relationship you will find yourself exclusive, when your heart is not in it anymore, or you can not focus on the person online you will stop being exclusive. There will not be a time were you need to verbally commit ... it will just happen, and if it doesn't then it is not meant to be asking for promises will not make it so.
Imagine the following ... you are flirting, playing, telling each other all the things to want to do and how you want to be stuck, or tied up, or spanked, or maybe just kissed ... or (uh ok I will leave some things to the imagination) you have over time developed a "connection" you think of him always, he fills your thoughts, and every time you ... you are already exclusive with him and so you want him (or her) to be the same to you .. you will then always wonder if the promise is kept, if they really feel that way or are they just masking in words ... Just as you indulge in your fantasies here, you can add to that fantasy that the person is exclusive to you, no need to ask them.
If the relationship grows into something more then a little box of pleasure then it might be the time to seek some assurance that you are not just one of 783 others that he (or she) is copy and pasting to ... however, to be honest, in your heart if you are real, and put yourself there you will also know if they are and when you have nagging doubts you should explore those doubts with your partner and why you feel that way.
In short (I know too late) the answer is it is a promise no more serious then any other promise people break all the time ...
In that regard the question should be "is it fair to ask someone to be exclusive online?" when you expect no such behavior offline why box someone in. You should not need to ask for that, if you have a connection, and your time is absorbed into the relationship you will find yourself exclusive, when your heart is not in it anymore, or you can not focus on the person online you will stop being exclusive. There will not be a time were you need to verbally commit ... it will just happen, and if it doesn't then it is not meant to be asking for promises will not make it so.
Imagine the following ... you are flirting, playing, telling each other all the things to want to do and how you want to be stuck, or tied up, or spanked, or maybe just kissed ... or (uh ok I will leave some things to the imagination) you have over time developed a "connection" you think of him always, he fills your thoughts, and every time you ... you are already exclusive with him and so you want him (or her) to be the same to you .. you will then always wonder if the promise is kept, if they really feel that way or are they just masking in words ... Just as you indulge in your fantasies here, you can add to that fantasy that the person is exclusive to you, no need to ask them.
If the relationship grows into something more then a little box of pleasure then it might be the time to seek some assurance that you are not just one of 783 others that he (or she) is copy and pasting to ... however, to be honest, in your heart if you are real, and put yourself there you will also know if they are and when you have nagging doubts you should explore those doubts with your partner and why you feel that way.
In short (I know too late) the answer is it is a promise no more serious then any other promise people break all the time ...
Advanced Wordsmith
I think that you have to take the commitment seriously. That being said, I don't think you have to take the commitment. I somewhat agree with oshkrozz about how it matters how you're connecting, but I think you really just need to be upfront about it - if the connection is important to you, say it. If you just want it to be a role you play on line, again, say it. If you don't want any emotional attachment or commitment on here, just say it.
I think in the end it comes out the same as real life - people will handle exclusivity in the real world with varying degrees of commitment to it (though I'm not saying all will treat both equally).
I think in the end it comes out the same as real life - people will handle exclusivity in the real world with varying degrees of commitment to it (though I'm not saying all will treat both equally).
Active Ink Slinger
Yes I certainly that the relationship with Lush Friends seriously and they are important to me.
I have been married to the same man for more than 25 years and I have never been exclusive with him, so it is very unlikely I will ever be with anyone else in real life or in cyber word
I have been married to the same man for more than 25 years and I have never been exclusive with him, so it is very unlikely I will ever be with anyone else in real life or in cyber word
Convict
Quote by oshkrozz
People connect in various ways, some to the intensity of the fantasy they use the online world as a shield for what is not theirs in the real world. Others to explore ideas and thoughts that would be dangerous or just not possible in their real life. Others make real friends and connections, they are honest and respectful as they would be if you met them on a plane sitting next to them. People do all manner of bad things in real life (watch the news anytime recently?). In a forum where they are far more anonymous people shed some of their inhibitions (and in many cases much easier to say what the person wants to hear) many will become someone else for a little.
In that regard the question should be "is it fair to ask someone to be exclusive online?" when you expect no such behavior offline why box someone in. You should not need to ask for that, if you have a connection, and your time is absorbed into the relationship you will find yourself exclusive, when your heart is not in it anymore, or you can not focus on the person online you will stop being exclusive. There will not be a time were you need to verbally commit ... it will just happen, and if it doesn't then it is not meant to be asking for promises will not make it so.
Imagine the following ... you are flirting, playing, telling each other all the things to want to do and how you want to be stuck, or tied up, or spanked, or maybe just kissed ... or (uh ok I will leave some things to the imagination) you have over time developed a "connection" you think of him always, he fills your thoughts, and every time you ... you are already exclusive with him and so you want him (or her) to be the same to you .. you will then always wonder if the promise is kept, if they really feel that way or are they just masking in words ... Just as you indulge in your fantasies here, you can add to that fantasy that the person is exclusive to you, no need to ask them.
If the relationship grows into something more then a little box of pleasure then it might be the time to seek some assurance that you are not just one of 783 others that he (or she) is copy and pasting to ... however, to be honest, in your heart if you are real, and put yourself there you will also know if they are and when you have nagging doubts you should explore those doubts with your partner and why you feel that way.
In short (I know too late) the answer is it is a promise no more serious then any other promise people break all the time ...
Thanks for taking the time to post your well-thought out response and I agree with what you have written. Should I take your answer to the question as a 'no", that you wouldn't take an online promise as seriously ? I know there are variables associated with a person's answer, however far too many for me to include in a simple poll.
My new Flash Fiction:
An Extraordinary Orgasm.
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/flash-erotica/an-extraordinary-orgasm-2
I take my online relationship seriously.
I know its weird cos we never see one another but once I've given my word to someone I do my best to keep it, and it's been 2 and a half years now of being in an online relationship and we've had no troubles. I guess she could be cheating and not telling, as could I, but I'm not the type to have a side piece.
I know its weird cos we never see one another but once I've given my word to someone I do my best to keep it, and it's been 2 and a half years now of being in an online relationship and we've had no troubles. I guess she could be cheating and not telling, as could I, but I'm not the type to have a side piece.
I am a monogamous person by nature. I put 100% into any relationship I am in, and I expect the other person to as well. Anytime affairs of the heart are at stake its best to be honest, be truthful, and be trustworthy. I just spent over a year in a online monogamous relationship(not on lush)and I would never settle for anything less than that again. That being said.... I don't think that is possible here on Lush. People get passed around here like a college frat party! I would meet someone here, but if it was to become something special, we would take leave and pursue it somewhere in private.
Active Ink Slinger
I'll be honest, I tried being serious, got my heart broke. I don't see myself ever totally trusting an online exclusive relationship again. Looking back it wasn't a good idea, but I am the trusting, fall for anything type and I did. But to have fun, I love it and love all my Lush friends!!!
All things ARE relative and everyone is entitled to their own feelings and opinions on this (like any other subject). To my mind it's a binding agreement ON THIS SITE. However, unless there is a REAL possibility OF a REAL LIFE relationship with that individual, to carry it over INTO real life is just silly and crazy. And, that same qualification exists regarding other internet sites. These I feel are questions that each couple should work out between themselves. The biggest problem is that BECAUSE IT IS the internet, there can be NO real certainty unless a face to face real life meeting has taken place. And, there is also the question of the honesty and integrity of the individuals involved. If you AREN'T confused by that I'm amazed! LOL
A former friend on here once asked me about pursuing a real life relationship and my stance has not changed. IF you have a realistic opportunity to HAVE a real life relationship not to try because of this or any other internet site is FOOLISH! Go for it and best of luck to you. Because, as I've said to a few individuals here...REAL LIFE COMES FIRST!...ALWAYS! Fantasy is great but KNOW where it begins and ends.Oz6oCU1Ug5QPDT9u
A former friend on here once asked me about pursuing a real life relationship and my stance has not changed. IF you have a realistic opportunity to HAVE a real life relationship not to try because of this or any other internet site is FOOLISH! Go for it and best of luck to you. Because, as I've said to a few individuals here...REAL LIFE COMES FIRST!...ALWAYS! Fantasy is great but KNOW where it begins and ends.Oz6oCU1Ug5QPDT9u
Top Shot
I don't really know. I've been burned a couple of times, when a member represented himself as something he wasn't--divorced, single, whatever. I think that if I were to be in an "exclusive" cyber-relationship, I would take the exclusivity seriously, and would hope that my partner would, as well.
Want to spend some time wallowing in a Recommended Read? Pick one! Or two! Or seven!
Active Ink Slinger
I take my friendships/relationships seriously whether in real life or online. But exclusivity needs to be agreed upon and go both ways.
Active Ink Slinger
I would like to think there are relationships that are exclusive but given some of the people I have spoken to that clearly isnt the case.
I have found people only say what they think you want to hear. Declaring themselves exclusive to you and anyone else who wants it.
This is no place to be naïve
I have found people only say what they think you want to hear. Declaring themselves exclusive to you and anyone else who wants it.
This is no place to be naïve
I argued against exclusivity when it was demanded of me. It was a cute idea, but given where we are, it all seems a bit silly really. It's not like I could have gone to him when I needed him like in real life, gotta wait til the bugger was online. Meanwhile, there's plenty of others online now.
Chuckanator
Friendship is friendship. But unless it is actually headed for a flesh and blood Union like many have, how could it be verifiable? I have some very good friends online as I do in real life. Most all are on lush. I'm here for more than dirty little stories.
I've just published chapter seven of Undercovers Detective. I would love your feedback on this story. I'm planning on ten chapters at least. If you haven't read one yet, I've included links. I hope you like them.
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/undercovers-detective-chapter-7.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/seduction/undercovers-detective-chapter-6.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/undercovers-detective-chapter-5.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/first-time/underdovers-detective-chapter-4.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/seduction/undercovers-detective-chapter-3.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/undercovers-detective-chapter-two.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/undercovers-detective.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/undercovers-detective-chapter-7.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/seduction/undercovers-detective-chapter-6.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/undercovers-detective-chapter-5.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/first-time/underdovers-detective-chapter-4.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/seduction/undercovers-detective-chapter-3.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/undercovers-detective-chapter-two.aspx
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/love-stories/undercovers-detective.aspx
'tis himself!
Quote by trinket
Let's say you have an online cyber-sex relationship. You have agreed to be exclusive to each other online. Do you take this cyber-commitment as seriously as you would a commitment In "real life? Would you be very hurt if you found out your online partner had cyber-cheated? Or do you agree to something like online fidelity without really having any intention to be cyber-faithful for whatever reason?
I mean exclusive only online. Real life sex doesn't enter into it at all.
I'm not poking fun at cyber-relationships. I'm genuinely curious.
I wouldn't be hurt because I wouldn't have asked for it. However, I would try to live up to an agreement I'd made, regardless of the context.