Alright this is weird for everyone. Just roll with it.
I am thirty years old. (A lil drunk right now)and an abstinent virgin. Raised that way, grew up in a strick religious lifestyle. Lately, as I have moved away from my strict upbringing. I have found myself wanting to experiment. To explore more. With women, and with men, and with everyone in between. Like really struggling with, "future wifey" being upset if I started having fun now -AND- damn he/she/they are really sexy. Been using self-love for so long. Not even sure how to initiate temporary sexual relationships. I tried before in 2016. But it failed miserably. Crowd sourcing for any input. Thank you.
Whores get laid and get paid. Sounds like you're getting neither. Seriously, though, sexual frustration aside - you're thirty. Make an adult decision to marry "future wifey" and fuck her for the rest of your life, or let her go and fuck someone else. Figure out what you want. No one else can do that for you.
Quote by niceguy89 Alright this is weird for everyone. Just roll with it.
I am thirty years old. (A lil drunk right now)and an abstinent virgin. Raised that way, grew up in a strick religious lifestyle. Lately, as I have moved away from my strict upbringing. I have found myself wanting to experiment. To explore more. With women, and with men, and with everyone in between. Like really struggling with, "future wifey" being upset if I started having fun now -AND- damn he/she/they are really sexy. Been using self-love for so long. Not even sure how to initiate temporary sexual relationships. I tried before in 2016. But it failed miserably. Crowd sourcing for any input. Thank you.
To be clear, is "future-wifey" an actual, named human female? From your phrasing--and this may solely be my inference based on at least a passing familiarity with evangelical "Christian" churches--that you may be referring to a future hypothetical girlfriend/fiancee/wife, instead of a person currently in your life.
That said, if you are in a mutually exclusive romantic, if non-sexual, relationship, I feel like you do owe your current partner the opportunity to make an informed decision about the future of her role in your life prior to "....[starting to have] fun..." . Either way, whether "future-wifey" is a purely hypothetical creature or not, no, you are not a whore for engaging (or wanting to engage) in life as a sexual being.
Good luck.
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No you're not. You might feel that way based on your strict upbringing but being interested in sex is perfectly normal. There have been about 8 billion births on the planet. That's a lot of sex. My advice is to read up on the psychological aspects of it, intimacy, guilt etc. Based on what I'm reading in your background you may experience stronger guilt feelings than many people after you take action (or might be already.) 100% agree with Hera above. If the "future-wifey" exists you need to be having some very honest conversations with him/her/they. Try to relax, sex is pretty awesome.
"Future wifey" is not an actual person. More like anxiety formed through years of ignorant upbringing towards sex, lust, physical contact (platonic or not), and the religious expectations of all listed.
I have studied and researched what sex is from many different viewpoints. I am soul searching right now. Differing what I want from how I was raised.
Wanting to express myself. Wanting to enjoy life. However being held back by these unnumbered insecurities. I have released myself from my family's expectations. However I feel overwhelmed with current possibilities.
It might not be a bad idea to consult with a professional who can assist you with delving deeper into this likely multi layered topic. There are increasing therapists with online access and most do a free consult.
Yes, sex is amazing and fun. However, if you have insecurities, conflict, uncertainty, and unresolved feelings about things that impact your sexual template, that could be very unsexy and no fun at all.
You seem to have insight. Give yourself the best opportunity to address your challenges and overcome them.
People pay for, and get paid for sex in all sorts of ways! Knowledge and experience are all part of an education. An education costs money, whether it's taxes for a public education or something else for a private and personal education. Get yourself some sex and learn how to do it right!
Quote by niceguy89 "Future wifey" is not an actual person. More like anxiety formed through years of ignorant upbringing towards sex, lust, physical contact (platonic or not), and the religious expectations of all listed.
I have studied and researched what sex is from many different viewpoints. I am soul searching right now. Differing what I want from how I was raised.
Wanting to express myself. Wanting to enjoy life. However being held back by these unnumbered insecurities. I have released myself from my family's expectations. However I feel overwhelmed with current possibilities.
You're not a whore or even a slut.
I don't think any woman is going to expect that level of sexual purity, unless you plan on marrying someone who was raised as you were. If it will break your heart to not marry a virgin, don't experiment.
Personally, I think you should. Sex is important in a relationship. What if you like men more than women? It would be a shame to get married and figure it out later.
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