Im a baby girl submissive. My question is how do you deal/react when a Dom (is not your Dom just a Dom) starts accusing you of things that you never did.
How do you fight back with out stepping overboard?
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What to do?
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Cheeky Chick
It depends if you mean online or not.
If it’s online, I’d block him. You have no reason to put up with someone’s shit if he is accusing you of things that you haven’t done. Who is he to tell you what you have or haven’t done.
If you want to stand up for yourself, which you can even if you’re a submissive, tell him he is wrong. That he has no right to tell you that you’ve done something you haven’t. If this person means something to you, even if he isn’t your Dom, you’ll want to prove this, but it’s not up to you to prove it.
It’s not his place to tell you this. Who is he to say what you have or haven’t done anyways, if he isn’t you Dom, it’s not his place to tell you anything. This goes with a real in person Dom as well. He isn’t YOUR Dom, so you don’t need to justify yourself.
A real, true Dom wouldn’t do this anyway, considering you’re not his submissive. He seems like a prick to me.
If it’s online, I’d block him. You have no reason to put up with someone’s shit if he is accusing you of things that you haven’t done. Who is he to tell you what you have or haven’t done.
If you want to stand up for yourself, which you can even if you’re a submissive, tell him he is wrong. That he has no right to tell you that you’ve done something you haven’t. If this person means something to you, even if he isn’t your Dom, you’ll want to prove this, but it’s not up to you to prove it.
It’s not his place to tell you this. Who is he to say what you have or haven’t done anyways, if he isn’t you Dom, it’s not his place to tell you anything. This goes with a real in person Dom as well. He isn’t YOUR Dom, so you don’t need to justify yourself.
A real, true Dom wouldn’t do this anyway, considering you’re not his submissive. He seems like a prick to me.
Well the thing is.. I don't have a Master/Mistress, so I can't let them take over if they are non-existent in my life.
Yes, this whole thing started online. We were talking platonically for a week or so. During this time I was also talking to a couple other of my friends who are also Doms/Dommes. He "found out" about it then accused me of keeping that from and then "lying" about it. So because I did that I'm an unfaithful sub? and a Cheater? because I had a total of 5 casual conversations with this dude.
I'm blocking him, I just don't understand. How could a Dom (even a fake on) get this super crazy?
It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.. you know
Yes, this whole thing started online. We were talking platonically for a week or so. During this time I was also talking to a couple other of my friends who are also Doms/Dommes. He "found out" about it then accused me of keeping that from and then "lying" about it. So because I did that I'm an unfaithful sub? and a Cheater? because I had a total of 5 casual conversations with this dude.
I'm blocking him, I just don't understand. How could a Dom (even a fake on) get this super crazy?
It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.. you know
Wild at Heart
Sounds like you were whorin' around with multiple doms and covering it up. No biggie, it's lush. The dom that got pissed should know that happens.
Wild at Heart
Quote by littlebirdie92
I wasn't whoring around...
You were whoring it up, don't try to deny it.
Active Ink Slinger
What happens if you "step overboard"? Would you still be allowed to call yourself a baby girl submissive? 
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Magical_felix
Sounds like you were whorin' around with multiple doms and covering it up. No biggie, it's lush. The dom that got pissed should know that happens.
Really, she just got done explaining about how she had a distaste for people saying she was something she wasn't. Are you really that clueless, I have at least 3 subs i am friends with; does that make me their Master or insinuate that I am cheating on the love of my life and my sub. HELL NO, so you have no right to call her a whore because she talked to a few people on lush.
I have read countless posts by you Felix, your whole mission is just to stir up trouble. Which I guess the world wouldn't be complete if we didn't have a mix of people like you to give us a pissed off balance to our rather happy days.
As for littlebirdie92, nobody has the right to order you around or accuse you of anything. The only person with that right is the Master/Mistress you choose to offer your submission to.
Wild at Heart
Quote by MasterTredem
I have at least 3 subs i am friends with; does that make me their Master or insinuate that I am cheating on the love of my life and my sub. HELL NO
Fuckin' weak. You know you want to but you're scared. Weak sauce!
Quote by MasterTredem
you have no right to call her a whore
I didn't call her a whore, you did... But, this is Amuricah buddy. Land of the free. I can call whoever I want a whore whenever I want. I'll call you a whore if I want.
Quote by MasterTredem
I have read countless posts by you Felix
I'm flattered. I have only read one of your posts. But I liked it. It is a good post. Entertaining.
Quote by MasterTredem
As for littlebirdie92, nobody has the right to order you around or accuse you of anything. The only person with that right is the Master/Mistress you choose to offer your submission to.
Oh my god, mastertedum is a poet too... Im in awe.
Active Ink Slinger
If he's NOT YOUR Dom, how exactly would you be overstepping anything? You wouldn't.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Magical_felix
Sounds like you were whorin' around with multiple doms and covering it up. No biggie, it's lush. The dom that got pissed should know that happens.
Did you take your collar off Felix? BAD!!!
Wild at Heart
Quote by AngelHeart01
If he's NOT YOUR Dom, how exactly would you be overstepping anything? You wouldn't.
Obviously, you dont know the lifestyle.
Quote by AngelHeart01
Did you take your collar off Felix? BAD!!!
I take the collar off when you're not looking.
Quote by Magical_felix
You were whoring it up, don't try to deny it.
No, I wasn't
There is a BIG deference in casual conversation and messing around. I'm actually selective in who I mess around with but that's beside the point. The point was that this guy went coco bananas jelly green mode
over casual conversations with other Doms/Dommes simply because they were Doms/Dommes and because I'm a submissive and am not supposed to have a back bone apparently. Quote by AngelHeart01
If he's NOT YOUR Dom, how exactly would you be overstepping anything? You wouldn't.
With him, no I wouldn't. In the general scene however I would. Its a form of serious disrespect and I'd feel guilty because I'd feel like I was breaking my role. How do you go back to something that you feel is broken?
Quote by jollylolly
What happens if you "step overboard"? Would you still be allowed to call yourself a baby girl submissive? confused5
Technically yes, but I would feel broken like I stated above
Wild at Heart
Quote by littlebirdie92
No, I wasn't
There is a BIG deference in casual conversation and messing around. I'm actually selective in who I mess around with but that's beside the point. The point was that this guy went coco bananas jelly green mode
He probably thought/realized you were leaving a trail of crumbs leading to your cookie for the other doms to follow.
Cock Connoisseur
Quote by Magical_felix
He probably thought/realized you were leaving a trail of crumbs leading to your cookie for the other doms to follow.
Jack, be nice. Throwing insults to the OP is not really constructive. Her question is a valid one and worth discussion by those who have something constructive to say on it.
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by littlebirdie92
Technically yes, but I would feel broken like I stated above
I'm afraid I'm getting rather confused.
The doms I have had a small amount of conversation with in private, or have any respect for in the forums, are usually the first to say that a submissive has a choice in who they submit to. And if you are not somebody's personal sub, then you have no obligation to them whatsoever.
The scarce times I've been in a chatroom with doms and subs, I was both amused and encouraged to see how they spoke to everybody with almost Victorian courtesy and respect. There's nowt wrong with being polite to people, and it just seemed like a very formal way of doing so. The doms were very kind to all the subs, whether they were theirs or not. That's why I felt comfortable to be there.
You can treat doms with respect, and it's fine. I think that everybody deserves respect until they prove otherwise. But you owe them nothing if they are not your dom, surely? How does their lack of respect for you negate you withdrawing yours when they clearly do not and should not deserve it in return on a basic human level?
How would it make you feel broken to say, "I'm sorry, Sir (or Asshole, if you desire), but I am not your sub, you do not own me, and I am free to act as I please and choose until I find a Master to whom I shall choose to belong and submit. You(r ignorant ass is/) are now blocked"? Is this a lifestyle issue, or a personal issue that you should perhaps tackle?
I don't see why you can't still show respect without telling somebody to eff off politely and ignoring their input into your life. You could practice on Felix.
Anybody who cares about another human's emotions would surely agree with that, dom or not? Or maybe I understand even less of your lifestyle than I thought. 
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
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Alpha Blonde
First of all, I'm not in the lifestyle, so my opinion may not matter here.
But... I strongly dislike the idea of manipulation of another under the guise of 'chivalry/etiquette' or 'BDSM rules' or whatever it is a Dom considers as acceptable behaviour by anyone he considers an underling.
My assumption was that if one considers themselves a sub that they show respect to Doms in general, but that they are still a free-agent and have autonomy over themselves, their time and their attention.
While I don't know the rules of the game, I'm posting because it pisses me off when I see manipulation, subtle social threats and the equivalent of 'slut-shaming' as a method of trying to control someone or bully them into something they don't want to do. Whoever this guy is, he's a first class Asshole (and I capped the 'A' since he calls himself a Dom). You did nothing wrong, littlebirdie - whether in a BDSM environment or a general social environment. There are no implied promises just because you're chatting with a guy. Until you make a commitment, you still get to choose.
But... I strongly dislike the idea of manipulation of another under the guise of 'chivalry/etiquette' or 'BDSM rules' or whatever it is a Dom considers as acceptable behaviour by anyone he considers an underling.
My assumption was that if one considers themselves a sub that they show respect to Doms in general, but that they are still a free-agent and have autonomy over themselves, their time and their attention.
While I don't know the rules of the game, I'm posting because it pisses me off when I see manipulation, subtle social threats and the equivalent of 'slut-shaming' as a method of trying to control someone or bully them into something they don't want to do. Whoever this guy is, he's a first class Asshole (and I capped the 'A' since he calls himself a Dom). You did nothing wrong, littlebirdie - whether in a BDSM environment or a general social environment. There are no implied promises just because you're chatting with a guy. Until you make a commitment, you still get to choose.
Active Ink Slinger
Seems to me that you need to be a bit of a dom here and tell whoever has annoyed you, prob Felix and the other twerp, to Eff Off lol
Quote by Shylass
I'm afraid I'm getting rather confused.
The doms I have had a small amount of conversation with in private, or have any respect for in the forums, are usually the first to say that a submissive has a choice in who they submit to. And if you are not somebody's personal sub, then you have no obligation to them whatsoever.
The scarce times I've been in a chatroom with doms and subs, I was both amused and encouraged to see how they spoke to everybody with almost Victorian courtesy and respect. There's nowt wrong with being polite to people, and it just seemed like a very formal way of doing so. The doms were very kind to all the subs, whether they were theirs or not. That's why I felt comfortable to be there.
You can treat doms with respect, and it's fine. I think that everybody deserves respect until they prove otherwise. But you owe them nothing if they are not your dom, surely? How does their lack of respect for you negate you withdrawing yours when they clearly do not and should not deserve it in return on a basic human level?
How would it make you feel broken to say, "I'm sorry, Sir (or Asshole, if you desire), but I am not your sub, you do not own me, and I am free to act as I please and choose until I find a Master to whom I shall choose to belong and submit. You(r ignorant ass is/) are now blocked"? Is this a lifestyle issue, or a personal issue that you should perhaps tackle?
I don't see why you can't still show respect without telling somebody to eff off politely and ignoring their input into your life. You could practice on Felix.
It may be a personal issue mixed in with the lifestyle? Idk.
In general I avoid situations when I need to confront someone about something and I get really bad anxiety sometimes when I am confronted. I don't always avoid things like that but I do more than I'd like to admit to. Its also why when I do say something back, it sounds kinda childish. I'm just not that kind of person to be 'all up in yo face'. That might be part of why I just feel so off about the whole thing. It makes me very uncomfortable to tell a Dom (who is mine or not) something against their wishes or a simple no. I'm sure even if you ask PM, he will tell you. It took me a very long time for me to be okay with just safe words and using them when I should. Because I thought 'oh its wrong for me to take control of that, because I can't make those calls'
So like in this situation. My thoughts are, I know for a fact that I didn't do anything wrong with talking and being friendly. But is he right? Was I wrong to talk to other people without his permission because we have been talking so frequently, even tho we never said I was his? I just end up over-thinking, and double -thinking, It kinda sucks.
I did tell him I'm not interested anymore. I actually ended up telling him its cause I have school and I need to focus on passing midterms. I didn't even address the issue when I talked to him. I was just so intimidated and kinda embarrassed to bring it up.
oh well hes blocked now.
Quote by Shylass
I'm afraid I'm getting rather confused.
The doms I have had a small amount of conversation with in private, or have any respect for in the forums, are usually the first to say that a submissive has a choice in who they submit to. And if you are not somebody's personal sub, then you have no obligation to them whatsoever.
The scarce times I've been in a chatroom with doms and subs, I was both amused and encouraged to see how they spoke to everybody with almost Victorian courtesy and respect. There's nowt wrong with being polite to people, and it just seemed like a very formal way of doing so. The doms were very kind to all the subs, whether they were theirs or not. That's why I felt comfortable to be there.
You can treat doms with respect, and it's fine. I think that everybody deserves respect until they prove otherwise. But you owe them nothing if they are not your dom, surely? How does their lack of respect for you negate you withdrawing yours when they clearly do not and should not deserve it in return on a basic human level?
How would it make you feel broken to say, "I'm sorry, Sir (or Asshole, if you desire), but I am not your sub, you do not own me, and I am free to act as I please and choose until I find a Master to whom I shall choose to belong and submit. You(r ignorant ass is/) are now blocked"? Is this a lifestyle issue, or a personal issue that you should perhaps tackle?
I don't see why you can't still show respect without telling somebody to eff off politely and ignoring their input into your life. You could practice on Felix.
It may be a personal issue mixed in with the lifestyle? Idk.
In general I avoid situations when I need to confront someone about something and I get really bad anxiety sometimes when I am confronted. I don't always avoid things like that but I do more than I'd like to admit to. Its also why when I do say something back, it sounds kinda childish. I'm just not that kind of person to be 'all up in yo face'. That might be part of why I just feel so off about the whole thing. It makes me very uncomfortable to tell a Dom (who is mine or not) something against their wishes or a simple no. I'm sure even if you ask PM, he will tell you. It took me a very long time for me to be okay with just safe words and using them when I should. Because I thought 'oh its wrong for me to take control of that, because I can't make those calls'
So like in this situation. My thoughts are, I know for a fact that I didn't do anything wrong with talking and being friendly. But is he right? Was I wrong to talk to other people without his permission because we have been talking so frequently, even tho we never said I was his? I just end up over-thinking, and double -thinking, It kinda sucks.
I did tell him I'm not interested anymore. I actually ended up telling him its cause I have school and I need to focus on passing midterms. I didn't even address the issue when I talked to him. I was just so intimidated and kinda embarrassed to bring it up.
oh well hes blocked now.
Quote by Shylass
I'm afraid I'm getting rather confused.
The doms I have had a small amount of conversation with in private, or have any respect for in the forums, are usually the first to say that a submissive has a choice in who they submit to. And if you are not somebody's personal sub, then you have no obligation to them whatsoever.
The scarce times I've been in a chatroom with doms and subs, I was both amused and encouraged to see how they spoke to everybody with almost Victorian courtesy and respect. There's nowt wrong with being polite to people, and it just seemed like a very formal way of doing so. The doms were very kind to all the subs, whether they were theirs or not. That's why I felt comfortable to be there.
You can treat doms with respect, and it's fine. I think that everybody deserves respect until they prove otherwise. But you owe them nothing if they are not your dom, surely? How does their lack of respect for you negate you withdrawing yours when they clearly do not and should not deserve it in return on a basic human level?
How would it make you feel broken to say, "I'm sorry, Sir (or Asshole, if you desire), but I am not your sub, you do not own me, and I am free to act as I please and choose until I find a Master to whom I shall choose to belong and submit. You(r ignorant ass is/) are now blocked"? Is this a lifestyle issue, or a personal issue that you should perhaps tackle?
I don't see why you can't still show respect without telling somebody to eff off politely and ignoring their input into your life. You could practice on Felix.
It may be a personal issue mixed in with the lifestyle? Idk.
In general I avoid situations when I need to confront someone about something and I get really bad anxiety sometimes when I am confronted. I don't always avoid things like that but I do more than I'd like to admit to. Its also why when I do say something back, it sounds kinda childish. I'm just not that kind of person to be 'all up in yo face'. That might be part of why I just feel so off about the whole thing. It makes me very uncomfortable to tell a Dom (who is mine or not) something against their wishes or a simple no. I'm sure even if you ask PM, he will tell you. It took me a very long time for me to be okay with just safe words and using them when I should. Because I thought 'oh its wrong for me to take control of that, because I can't make those calls'
So like in this situation. My thoughts are, I know for a fact that I didn't do anything wrong with talking and being friendly. But is he right? Was I wrong to talk to other people without his permission because we have been talking so frequently, even tho we never said I was his? I just end up over-thinking, and double -thinking, It kinda sucks.
I did tell him I'm not interested anymore. I actually ended up telling him its cause I have school and I need to focus on passing midterms. I didn't even address the issue when I talked to him. I was just so intimidated and kinda embarrassed to bring it up.
oh well hes blocked now.
Cock Connoisseur
Quote by littlebirdie92
Im a baby girl submissive. My question is how do you deal/react when a Dom (is not your Dom just a Dom) starts accusing you of things that you never did.
How do you fight back with out stepping overboard?
What you have to realize is that there are so many on here who like to play the role. On Lush that is what 99% of the so called Dom’s are doing. Just because someone says they are a Dom/Master does not make it so. Trust your instincts and you won’t go wrong in dealing with them.
Here is my opinion on this and you can take it for whatever you wish. If you and your Dom have discussed things and you know what you can do and can’t then anything that any other man on here says to you does not matter. The block button will be the best friend you could have. When those men try and exert their “power” over you, just laugh at them and block them. Trust me, if you laugh at them and they get mad, it’s a sure sign they are nothing more than a wannabe. Or if you are like me, have a little fun with them first. Any true Dom would not treat you in that manner and if they do, just merely remind them that whatever arrangement, agreement or understanding you and YOUR Dom have is between the two of you and it’s not for him or anyone else to be questioning.
Just because you are submissive does not mean you have to be a doormat for others. You still have a mind and a voice; don’t ever be afraid to use it especially in your own defense. If your Dom does not have an issue with what you are doing, then you really have nothing to worry about.
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by littlebirdie92
It may be a personal issue mixed in with the lifestyle? Idk.
It makes me very uncomfortable to tell a Dom (who is mine or not) something against their wishes or a simple no. I'm sure even if you ask PM, he will tell you. It took me a very long time for me to be okay with just safe words and using them when I should. Because I thought 'oh its wrong for me to take control of that, because I can't make those calls'
So like in this situation. My thoughts are, I know for a fact that I didn't do anything wrong with talking and being friendly. But is he right? Was I wrong to talk to other people without his permission because we have been talking so frequently, even tho we never said I was his? I just end up over-thinking, and double -thinking, It kinda sucks.
I did tell him I'm not interested anymore. I actually ended up telling him its cause I have school and I need to focus on passing midterms. I didn't even address the issue when I talked to him. I was just so intimidated and kinda embarrassed to bring it up.
oh well hes blocked now.
Thank you for replying. If it helps, I overthink too many things too. I get myself too upset and in a real pickle at times. As soon as your alarm bells or emotions go haywire, it's time to step back so that you have space to think logically.
This guy was not your dom. If you hadn't discussed and agreed that you would fully become his sub, then you weren't.
Regardless of any relationship agreement, just because a person calls themselves a dom, it DOES NOT GIVE THEM THE RIGHT TO ABUSE YOU, ORDER YOU AROUND, OR SAY WHO YOU CAN/CAN'T TALK TO, OR HOW/WHEN. Sorry about the capitals, but I am actually shouting it towards you.
You may not like confrontation. Fine. You may choose to submit yourself to another person's authority. But you are not a piece of crap or a doormat. You are a human being who deserves respect.
A true Dom, as I have read, will treat you as a precious woman. Not a thing to order around to prove to themselves that they can do what they like. From what I have read, a true Dom does not manipulate, abuse, endanger, deride or harm his sub. He cherishes her and guides her with respect.
That person you had the misfortune to spend time with showed his true colours, as all abusers and knobheads eventually do. He was neither a Dom, nor a real man.
Please, do not allow low self-esteem, fear of confrontation and misguided "humility" to put you in a position of letting fools abuse you. Try to see it as keeping yourself safe for whomever you eventually choose to give your heart to.
A real man, and a true Dom, will allow you time and space to step back and evaluate their words. Somebidy with a false sense of ownership on a power trip will only hurt and abuse you. Take your time and do not let anybody push you.
Perhaps you could message somebody on here that you do trust for help? There are both doms/dommes and subs on here who have healthy respect for themselves and others that I am sure would be glad to help you, with a more profound knowledge of the lifestyle than I have.
But please do not fool yourself into thinking your submissive side is a licence for others to abuse you. It isn't.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
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Empress of the Moon
I've found that the block button works very well in the chat rooms. If someone is annoying, block them. You can stay in the chat room and play without having to put up with them. You can also keep them from pms and black boxes and keep them from seeing that you're online.
[url]http://[/url]
Wild at Heart
Quote by littlebirdie92
Trolls not welcome
I was answering your question.
Quote by littlebirdie92
I just don't understand. How could a Dom (even a fake on) get this super crazy?
Quote by Magical_felix
He probably thought/realized you were leaving a trail of crumbs leading to your cookie for the other doms to follow.
I was telling you why he acted the way he did. What the hell kind of answer do you expect? If you don't want stupid answers, don't ask stupid questions.
...
If you want to talk about trolling. I feel trolled by how dumb this thread topic is. If you felt the need to start a thread about this then obviously you felt there was something wrong...duh. You answer all your own concerns in this thread anyway. Do you really need people to tell you that it's ridiculous for anyone to act in the way this person did after 5 casual conversations? Do you really need that... If you do, then I'm afraid you might be a slow adult or you're posting dumb things to get a reaction which is what trolling is. Also, If you think I'm the only person that responded to you in a manner that was less than serious than you should reread your own thread again.
This thread is like me starting a thread like this: Is it weird for a girl I just met at a bar to get jealous and mad at me for talking to the bartender as I place my order? What can I do to assert myself in this situation!?
It's stupid.