What to do?

Quote by Magical_felix
Sounds like you were whorin' around with multiple doms and covering it up. No biggie, it's lush. The dom that got pissed should know that happens.

Quote by littlebirdie92


I wasn't whoring around...

Quote by Magical_felix
Sounds like you were whorin' around with multiple doms and covering it up. No biggie, it's lush. The dom that got pissed should know that happens.

Quote by MasterTredem



I have at least 3 subs i am friends with; does that make me their Master or insinuate that I am cheating on the love of my life and my sub. HELL NO

Quote by MasterTredem



you have no right to call her a whore

Quote by MasterTredem



I have read countless posts by you Felix

Quote by MasterTredem


As for littlebirdie92, nobody has the right to order you around or accuse you of anything. The only person with that right is the Master/Mistress you choose to offer your submission to.

Quote by Magical_felix
Sounds like you were whorin' around with multiple doms and covering it up. No biggie, it's lush. The dom that got pissed should know that happens.

Quote by AngelHeart01
If he's NOT YOUR Dom, how exactly would you be overstepping anything? You wouldn't.

Quote by AngelHeart01


Did you take your collar off Felix? BAD!!!

Quote by Magical_felix


You were whoring it up, don't try to deny it.

Quote by AngelHeart01
If he's NOT YOUR Dom, how exactly would you be overstepping anything? You wouldn't.

Quote by jollylolly
What happens if you "step overboard"? Would you still be allowed to call yourself a baby girl submissive? confused5

Quote by littlebirdie92


No, I wasn't

There is a BIG deference in casual conversation and messing around. I'm actually selective in who I mess around with but that's beside the point. The point was that this guy went coco bananas jelly green mode over casual conversations with other Doms/Dommes simply because they were Doms/Dommes and because I'm a submissive and am not supposed to have a back bone apparently.

Quote by Magical_felix


He probably thought/realized you were leaving a trail of crumbs leading to your cookie for the other doms to follow.

Quote by littlebirdie92


Technically yes, but I would feel broken like I stated above

I'm afraid I'm getting rather confused.

The doms I have had a small amount of conversation with in private, or have any respect for in the forums, are usually the first to say that a submissive has a choice in who they submit to. And if you are not somebody's personal sub, then you have no obligation to them whatsoever.

The scarce times I've been in a chatroom with doms and subs, I was both amused and encouraged to see how they spoke to everybody with almost Victorian courtesy and respect. There's nowt wrong with being polite to people, and it just seemed like a very formal way of doing so. The doms were very kind to all the subs, whether they were theirs or not. That's why I felt comfortable to be there.

You can treat doms with respect, and it's fine. I think that everybody deserves respect until they prove otherwise. But you owe them nothing if they are not your dom, surely? How does their lack of respect for you negate you withdrawing yours when they clearly do not and should not deserve it in return on a basic human level?

How would it make you feel broken to say, "I'm sorry, Sir (or Asshole, if you desire), but I am not your sub, you do not own me, and I am free to act as I please and choose until I find a Master to whom I shall choose to belong and submit. You(r ignorant ass is/) are now blocked"? Is this a lifestyle issue, or a personal issue that you should perhaps tackle?

I don't see why you can't still show respect without telling somebody to eff off politely and ignoring their input into your life. You could practice on Felix. Anybody who cares about another human's emotions would surely agree with that, dom or not? Or maybe I understand even less of your lifestyle than I thought.

Quote by Magical_felix


He probably thought/realized you were leaving a trail of crumbs leading to your cookie for the other doms to follow.

Quote by Shylass


I'm afraid I'm getting rather confused.

The doms I have had a small amount of conversation with in private, or have any respect for in the forums, are usually the first to say that a submissive has a choice in who they submit to. And if you are not somebody's personal sub, then you have no obligation to them whatsoever.

The scarce times I've been in a chatroom with doms and subs, I was both amused and encouraged to see how they spoke to everybody with almost Victorian courtesy and respect. There's nowt wrong with being polite to people, and it just seemed like a very formal way of doing so. The doms were very kind to all the subs, whether they were theirs or not. That's why I felt comfortable to be there.

You can treat doms with respect, and it's fine. I think that everybody deserves respect until they prove otherwise. But you owe them nothing if they are not your dom, surely? How does their lack of respect for you negate you withdrawing yours when they clearly do not and should not deserve it in return on a basic human level?

How would it make you feel broken to say, "I'm sorry, Sir (or Asshole, if you desire), but I am not your sub, you do not own me, and I am free to act as I please and choose until I find a Master to whom I shall choose to belong and submit. You(r ignorant ass is/) are now blocked"? Is this a lifestyle issue, or a personal issue that you should perhaps tackle?

I don't see why you can't still show respect without telling somebody to eff off politely and ignoring their input into your life. You could practice on Felix. Anybody who cares about another human's emotions would surely agree with that, dom or not? Or maybe I understand even less of your lifestyle than I thought.

It may be a personal issue mixed in with the lifestyle? Idk. In general I avoid situations when I need to confront someone about something and I get really bad anxiety sometimes when I am confronted. I don't always avoid things like that but I do more than I'd like to admit to. Its also why when I do say something back, it sounds kinda childish. I'm just not that kind of person to be 'all up in yo face'. That might be part of why I just feel so off about the whole thing.

It makes me very uncomfortable to tell a Dom (who is mine or not) something against their wishes or a simple no. I'm sure even if you ask PM, he will tell you. It took me a very long time for me to be okay with just safe words and using them when I should. Because I thought 'oh its wrong for me to take control of that, because I can't make those calls'

So like in this situation. My thoughts are, I know for a fact that I didn't do anything wrong with talking and being friendly. But is he right? Was I wrong to talk to other people without his permission because we have been talking so frequently, even tho we never said I was his? I just end up over-thinking, and double -thinking, It kinda sucks.

I did tell him I'm not interested anymore. I actually ended up telling him its cause I have school and I need to focus on passing midterms. I didn't even address the issue when I talked to him. I was just so intimidated and kinda embarrassed to bring it up.

oh well hes blocked now.

Quote by Shylass


I'm afraid I'm getting rather confused.

The doms I have had a small amount of conversation with in private, or have any respect for in the forums, are usually the first to say that a submissive has a choice in who they submit to. And if you are not somebody's personal sub, then you have no obligation to them whatsoever.

The scarce times I've been in a chatroom with doms and subs, I was both amused and encouraged to see how they spoke to everybody with almost Victorian courtesy and respect. There's nowt wrong with being polite to people, and it just seemed like a very formal way of doing so. The doms were very kind to all the subs, whether they were theirs or not. That's why I felt comfortable to be there.

You can treat doms with respect, and it's fine. I think that everybody deserves respect until they prove otherwise. But you owe them nothing if they are not your dom, surely? How does their lack of respect for you negate you withdrawing yours when they clearly do not and should not deserve it in return on a basic human level?

How would it make you feel broken to say, "I'm sorry, Sir (or Asshole, if you desire), but I am not your sub, you do not own me, and I am free to act as I please and choose until I find a Master to whom I shall choose to belong and submit. You(r ignorant ass is/) are now blocked"? Is this a lifestyle issue, or a personal issue that you should perhaps tackle?

I don't see why you can't still show respect without telling somebody to eff off politely and ignoring their input into your life. You could practice on Felix. Anybody who cares about another human's emotions would surely agree with that, dom or not? Or maybe I understand even less of your lifestyle than I thought.

It may be a personal issue mixed in with the lifestyle? Idk. In general I avoid situations when I need to confront someone about something and I get really bad anxiety sometimes when I am confronted. I don't always avoid things like that but I do more than I'd like to admit to. Its also why when I do say something back, it sounds kinda childish. I'm just not that kind of person to be 'all up in yo face'. That might be part of why I just feel so off about the whole thing.

It makes me very uncomfortable to tell a Dom (who is mine or not) something against their wishes or a simple no. I'm sure even if you ask PM, he will tell you. It took me a very long time for me to be okay with just safe words and using them when I should. Because I thought 'oh its wrong for me to take control of that, because I can't make those calls'

So like in this situation. My thoughts are, I know for a fact that I didn't do anything wrong with talking and being friendly. But is he right? Was I wrong to talk to other people without his permission because we have been talking so frequently, even tho we never said I was his? I just end up over-thinking, and double -thinking, It kinda sucks.

I did tell him I'm not interested anymore. I actually ended up telling him its cause I have school and I need to focus on passing midterms. I didn't even address the issue when I talked to him. I was just so intimidated and kinda embarrassed to bring it up.

oh well hes blocked now.

Quote by Shylass


I'm afraid I'm getting rather confused.

The doms I have had a small amount of conversation with in private, or have any respect for in the forums, are usually the first to say that a submissive has a choice in who they submit to. And if you are not somebody's personal sub, then you have no obligation to them whatsoever.

The scarce times I've been in a chatroom with doms and subs, I was both amused and encouraged to see how they spoke to everybody with almost Victorian courtesy and respect. There's nowt wrong with being polite to people, and it just seemed like a very formal way of doing so. The doms were very kind to all the subs, whether they were theirs or not. That's why I felt comfortable to be there.

You can treat doms with respect, and it's fine. I think that everybody deserves respect until they prove otherwise. But you owe them nothing if they are not your dom, surely? How does their lack of respect for you negate you withdrawing yours when they clearly do not and should not deserve it in return on a basic human level?

How would it make you feel broken to say, "I'm sorry, Sir (or Asshole, if you desire), but I am not your sub, you do not own me, and I am free to act as I please and choose until I find a Master to whom I shall choose to belong and submit. You(r ignorant ass is/) are now blocked"? Is this a lifestyle issue, or a personal issue that you should perhaps tackle?

I don't see why you can't still show respect without telling somebody to eff off politely and ignoring their input into your life. You could practice on Felix. Anybody who cares about another human's emotions would surely agree with that, dom or not? Or maybe I understand even less of your lifestyle than I thought.

It may be a personal issue mixed in with the lifestyle? Idk. In general I avoid situations when I need to confront someone about something and I get really bad anxiety sometimes when I am confronted. I don't always avoid things like that but I do more than I'd like to admit to. Its also why when I do say something back, it sounds kinda childish. I'm just not that kind of person to be 'all up in yo face'. That might be part of why I just feel so off about the whole thing.

It makes me very uncomfortable to tell a Dom (who is mine or not) something against their wishes or a simple no. I'm sure even if you ask PM, he will tell you. It took me a very long time for me to be okay with just safe words and using them when I should. Because I thought 'oh its wrong for me to take control of that, because I can't make those calls'

So like in this situation. My thoughts are, I know for a fact that I didn't do anything wrong with talking and being friendly. But is he right? Was I wrong to talk to other people without his permission because we have been talking so frequently, even tho we never said I was his? I just end up over-thinking, and double -thinking, It kinda sucks.

I did tell him I'm not interested anymore. I actually ended up telling him its cause I have school and I need to focus on passing midterms. I didn't even address the issue when I talked to him. I was just so intimidated and kinda embarrassed to bring it up.

oh well hes blocked now.

Quote by littlebirdie92
Im a baby girl submissive. My question is how do you deal/react when a Dom (is not your Dom just a Dom) starts accusing you of things that you never did.

How do you fight back with out stepping overboard?

Quote by littlebirdie92




It may be a personal issue mixed in with the lifestyle? Idk. In general I avoid situations when I need to confront someone about something and I get really bad anxiety sometimes when I am confronted. I don't always avoid things like that but I do more than I'd like to admit to. Its also why when I do say something back, it sounds kinda childish. I'm just not that kind of person to be 'all up in yo face'. That might be part of why I just feel so off about the whole thing.

It makes me very uncomfortable to tell a Dom (who is mine or not) something against their wishes or a simple no. I'm sure even if you ask PM, he will tell you. It took me a very long time for me to be okay with just safe words and using them when I should. Because I thought 'oh its wrong for me to take control of that, because I can't make those calls'

So like in this situation. My thoughts are, I know for a fact that I didn't do anything wrong with talking and being friendly. But is he right? Was I wrong to talk to other people without his permission because we have been talking so frequently, even tho we never said I was his? I just end up over-thinking, and double -thinking, It kinda sucks.

I did tell him I'm not interested anymore. I actually ended up telling him its cause I have school and I need to focus on passing midterms. I didn't even address the issue when I talked to him. I was just so intimidated and kinda embarrassed to bring it up.

oh well hes blocked now.

Thank you for replying. If it helps, I overthink too many things too. I get myself too upset and in a real pickle at times. As soon as your alarm bells or emotions go haywire, it's time to step back so that you have space to think logically.

This guy was not your dom. If you hadn't discussed and agreed that you would fully become his sub, then you weren't.

Regardless of any relationship agreement, just because a person calls themselves a dom, it DOES NOT GIVE THEM THE RIGHT TO ABUSE YOU, ORDER YOU AROUND, OR SAY WHO YOU CAN/CAN'T TALK TO, OR HOW/WHEN. Sorry about the capitals, but I am actually shouting it towards you.

You may not like confrontation. Fine. You may choose to submit yourself to another person's authority. But you are not a piece of crap or a doormat. You are a human being who deserves respect.

A true Dom, as I have read, will treat you as a precious woman. Not a thing to order around to prove to themselves that they can do what they like. From what I have read, a true Dom does not manipulate, abuse, endanger, deride or harm his sub. He cherishes her and guides her with respect.

That person you had the misfortune to spend time with showed his true colours, as all abusers and knobheads eventually do. He was neither a Dom, nor a real man.

Please, do not allow low self-esteem, fear of confrontation and misguided "humility" to put you in a position of letting fools abuse you. Try to see it as keeping yourself safe for whomever you eventually choose to give your heart to.

A real man, and a true Dom, will allow you time and space to step back and evaluate their words. Somebidy with a false sense of ownership on a power trip will only hurt and abuse you. Take your time and do not let anybody push you.

Perhaps you could message somebody on here that you do trust for help? There are both doms/dommes and subs on here who have healthy respect for themselves and others that I am sure would be glad to help you, with a more profound knowledge of the lifestyle than I have.

But please do not fool yourself into thinking your submissive side is a licence for others to abuse you. It isn't.

Quote by littlebirdie92


Trolls not welcome

Quote by littlebirdie92
I just don't understand. How could a Dom (even a fake on) get this super crazy?

Quote by Magical_felix
He probably thought/realized you were leaving a trail of crumbs leading to your cookie for the other doms to follow.