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Questions no man wants to hear

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Quote by Jason9035
Me being 49 I was actually getting way horny recently as I was hitting it off with this very attractive 60-ish woman at the local pub. I found myself thinking that if she is this hot I bet her daughter would be way do-able if she had one...and out of the blue she asked me if I have ever done a Sportsman double? She explains it's a Mother-Daughter threesome and I said let's go.

As we entered her nicely decorated two story Colonial house and I heard her yell up the stairs....

"Hey Mom...are you still awake"!!!!!!!


Rookie Scribe
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Honey can you massage my (insert: back, feet, neck, etc.) please? Then he's like: you know what: and . Then he gets no more , and gets the (aka the boot lol) If he said no I'd be doing this to him: biggrin lol
Active Ink Slinger
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is it in yet.lol never heard it but have heard of it.TXYF5LHprrMeCLMt
Forum Whore
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Quote by suckmedownthere
Honey can you massage my (insert: back, feet, neck, etc.) please? Then he's like: you know what: and . Then he gets no more , and gets the (aka the boot lol) If he said no I'd be doing this to him: biggrin lol


Well someone likes using emotions!! Lol Well done!



"...Honey...why does the hamper smell like fish?" (when you're not a let's-go-catch-some-trout sort of guy)
"Do you have a stash of porn? I need something to keep the fire going."
"Haha! You were bragging about THAT thing?" (While of course looking at your penis)
"What do you think about the china patterns?"
"That's it?" (while looking at the engagement ring)

Lurker
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hey sweetie a woman came over earlier and brought over ur other black sock... care to explain?
Active Ink Slinger
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take a look at these colors, which one do you like better? (showing you 2 identical color cards you pick one to get it over with) then "Really? I like the other one better"
Lurker
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ARE YOU STILL HERE?
Lurker
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Does my braces hurt you when I give you a blow job?
Forum Whore
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....that was it?
(after sex)
Lurker
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If you really love me this will not matter, but I used to be a guy
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Quote by BBB856
If you really love me this will not matter, but I used to be a guy


Thats not a question ha ha
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Quote by HoneyBee000
Does my braces hurt you when I give you a blow job?





*The Dark Room*

How do you talk to an Angel available from Amazon.
Lurker
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Did you...-insert generic task-...?

They didn't
Rookie Scribe
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I had the locks changed
Lurker
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When the girl says "Honey, it's not very big around But it Is short"


Hate That !!!
Active Ink Slinger
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"So, now that you have me, you can get rid of your porn and erotica, right?"
Right there. Oh yeah baby. Right there.
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Quote by Jezziebelle
"So, now that you have me, you can get rid of your porn and erotica, right?"





In order to know virtue, you must first become acquainted with vice.
- Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade

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En vis mann slår aldri en hund i klubben med en stokk, fordi hunden vil vende rundt og biter mannens ballene av.
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Quote by Primal
Quote by Jezziebelle
"So, now that you have me, you can get rid of your porn and erotica, right?"







Creepiest pic! lmao
Active Ink Slinger
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Haha yes it is. Like I told Vamp in the chat today, I hate hairless cats, hate them, but I love hairless pussy!


In order to know virtue, you must first become acquainted with vice.
- Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade

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En vis mann slår aldri en hund i klubben med en stokk, fordi hunden vil vende rundt og biter mannens ballene av.
Lurker
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Do you love me?
or
How about we get married
or
Would you like to meet my family
Constant Gardener
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"You do know, my kids and I come as a package deal, right?"
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Constant Gardener
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credit: The New Yorker - 06/29/09
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
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Quote by WellMadeMale


credit: The New Yorker - 06/29/09


They look like to Twits cartoon characters by Roahl Darhl The Twits. When the wife say's to her horrible husband.
"Do you like your bolognese spaghetti" ( The Bolognese spaghetti is full of worms covered in tomatoe sauce) ha ha lol
Forum Whore
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Do you mind if I put all my girly stuff in the living room for the night, even though it's poker night with your buds, pookie?
Lurker
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Do you have any extra money I can have?
Forum Whore
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Can I borrow your razor?
Lurker
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Do you mind if we go over to my mother's this Sunday?
Active Ink Slinger
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What's the limit on this credit card?
Forum Whore
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Do I look like a fatass?
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"Will you come and get me? I'm lost."