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GUYS: the ideal handjob?

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How would the ideal hand job be from a girl? how would you like them to stroke your penis and what would they do with their fingers what should their facial expressions be like in particular their eyes and if they should give much eye contact if any and what sexy quotes would they need to whisper to you to get you hot?

Please don't get carried away and describe the ideal blowjob as I am strictly after info on hand jobs.
Quote by barella_gurl
How would the ideal hand job be from a girl? how would you like them to stroke your penis and what would they do with their fingers what should their facial expressions be like in particular their eyes and if they should give much eye contact if any and what sexy quotes would they need to whisper to you to get you hot?

Please don't get carried away and describe the ideal blowjob as I am strictly after info on hand jobs.

There's no such thing as the ideal hand job from a partner for me. It's like the relation you don't like showing up on your doorstep that you pretend to like!
I know how to masturbate myself, I've spent years practicing. Nobody can do it as well as I can. I want a partner to do things I can't do not do things that I can do better!
One of the best ones I've received was sitting next to a woman who was engaging in phone sex with another guy (he didn't know I was there, yeah yeah I know don't judge - it was in my younger days lol)... I was able to let my hands roam all over her body as well... I think that's still the most fun I've ever had - the nature of it all, plus being able to help her get off as well, etc etc..
I have a bit of a soft spot for hand jobs. With a relatively inexperienced girl hand jobs have a certain innocence that I always find appealing. In other circumstance a hand job may be all you can get away with when you’re trying to have a little sneaky fun. And finally a girl who likes to jerk me off and aim my discharge into her mouth will always have my appreciation.
Slowly, using fingertips only, with a bit of lube. Taking the load on your body, especially tits is a bonus.
With my girlfriend laying next to me in bed so I can see her beautiful face while she tells me all the dirty things she loves to do to me, and all the things she loves that I do to her.
I'll have to respectfully disagree with the esteemed Mr. DPW. i fucking LOVE a good hand job. One of the very best orgasms I ever had in my life came from an unexpected handjob. A hand can do so much more than a mouth and a pussy and an ass. (Not to say I'd give any of them up for a life of handjobs) Hands can change speeds more easily, change grip pressure, angles, grips, can go straight up and down or add some twists, long strokes, short strokes. RAWR!!!

Now in my older life I'd say an ideal handjob would be one that I'm not expecting. Maybe we're going to a party or something and both dressed, she's just done her makeup. Just before we leave I go to the bathroom, she sneaks up behind me and when I'm done peeing, reaches around and takes me into her hand. Talks dirty in my ear while she strokes me hard and then until I cum.

Or a secret and slow hand job in a pool. Or at in a bathroom at a party. Or in the shower with me.



When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
When out in a cafe or a restaurant (under the table). Slow hand caressing through the trousers, before unzipping me, and taking me out through the zipper...then caressing until I Cum
I have to disagree about a hand job too. Some of the hottest cums I have had have been hand jobs given while driving, under the table during dinner, in a bar under the table, etc.

The perfect one has the right amount of pressure...a firm but gentle touch....and a mixture of speeds, slow for the build and fast at the right moment.

I do know how to masturbate and I do enjoy it very much, but at times there is nothing like a different hand wrapped around ur cock at that moment when regular intercourse or a blow job just isn't an option.
Quote by HotBttmInBriefs
I have to disagree about a hand job too. Some of the hottest cums I have had have been hand jobs given while driving, under the table during dinner, in a bar under the table, etc.

The perfect one has the right amount of pressure...a firm but gentle touch....and a mixture of speeds, slow for the build and fast at the right moment.

I do know how to masturbate and I do enjoy it very much, but at times there is nothing like a different hand wrapped around ur cock at that moment when regular intercourse or a blow job just isn't an option.


Bingo. Just the act of receiving the pleasure from someone else changes the experience and if it is part of something bigger (a seduction, foreplay, whatever), then it is definitely qualitatively different from simply doing it yourself.
Quote by lafayettemister
I'll have to respectfully disagree with the esteemed Mr. DPW. i fucking LOVE a good hand job. One of the very best orgasms I ever had in my life came from an unexpected handjob. A hand can do so much more than a mouth and a pussy and an ass. (Not to say I'd give any of them up for a life of handjobs) Hands can change speeds more easily, change grip pressure, angles, grips, can go straight up and down or add some twists, long strokes, short strokes. RAWR!!!

Now in my older life I'd say an ideal handjob would be one that I'm not expecting. Maybe we're going to a party or something and both dressed, she's just done her makeup. Just before we leave I go to the bathroom, she sneaks up behind me and when I'm done peeing, reaches around and takes me into her hand. Talks dirty in my ear while she strokes me hard and then until I cum.

Or a secret and slow hand job in a pool. Or at in a bathroom at a party. Or in the shower with me.

Lol! Esteemed my ass! That and "in my older life" made me laugh so much.
Anyway you've certainly given steamy scenarios but do they answer the questions?
The op asked about the stroke i.e. length, speed, pressure, area, lube etc. all the things that are natural to me. I'm not even saying that it's as exciting but that wasn't the question either. I suppose THE ideal one would be by someone who you fantasised about and who could read your mind.
Quote by HotBttmInBriefs
I have to disagree about a hand job too. Some of the hottest cums I have had have been hand jobs given while driving, under the table during dinner, in a bar under the table, etc.

The perfect one has the right amount of pressure...a firm but gentle touch....and a mixture of speeds, slow for the build and fast at the right moment.

I do know how to masturbate and I do enjoy it very much, but at times there is nothing like a different hand wrapped around ur cock at that moment when regular intercourse or a blow job just isn't an option.

I'll admit that my post was slightly tongue in cheek. However your 2nd paragraph shows that you will do it better than anyone can because of the timings. You know the exact moment to increase or decrease speed and or pressure.
Your 3rd paragraph also is the same for me, it's the bronze medal of sex but hey, you got something.
It can be incredibly hot but the op wasn't about the hottest, it was about the ideal.
A bit of lube, a lot of eye contact, slow languid strokes with her fingers... and a constant stream of breathy exclamations as to what she's going to do to me for my next orgasm.
Quote by dpw

Lol! Esteemed my ass! That and "in my older life" made me laugh so much.
Anyway you've certainly given steamy scenarios but do they answer the questions?
The op asked about the stroke i.e. length, speed, pressure, area, lube etc. all the things that are natural to me. I'm not even saying that it's as exciting but that wasn't the question either. I suppose THE ideal one would be by someone who you fantasised about and who could read your mind.


Esteem your ass? But I hardly know you.

I guess the ideal handjob in the sense of stroke length, speed, pressure, eye contact..... etc... It all depends on the moment. Just like any other sex act, the ideal fuck or suck changes from one time to the next.

One day, may I'm anxious and frustrated and grouchy. A lover that knows me well may recognize it and kneel in front of me, fish my dick out of my pants and give me a quickly lubed, tight gripped, fast, topless handjob. Talking dirty about letting it go.. shoot it all over my tits. Getting me off rough and fast to relax me.

Another day, a lazy morning she could roll over in bed and slow stroke me hard. Varying hand pressures and stoke length, watching me. Gauging her actions by my reactions. Slowing down and loosening her grip when she senses i'm getting close, then building the pressure again. Taking her time and bringing me to a frenzied orgasm.

Like any other sexual act, what can make it ideal is a lover that knows you well enough to read you and give you what you need when you need it and how you need it at the current moment you're engaged in whatever you're doing. Sometimes a person wants a hard fuck, sometimes a slow one. Quickies, long sessions, multiple cums, rough and hard, soft and sensual. Same with blowjobs.. same with handjobs.



When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Nice, steady pace, wee bit of squeezing, being careful of the foreskin, making eye contact and some filthy talking. Maybe a wee bit of spanking to heighten the pleasure too. Don't tease too much, or I'll get frustrated.
there is no ideal handjob, we can do that ourselves. We want things that we can't do to ourselves. ;)
And remember...good conversation leads to excellent sex

-Little Bambi

My wife gives me hand jobs which I consider ideal. I lay back naked on our bed with my cock arching hard up over my belly. She kneels nude next to me, her legs wide. She lightly fingers my balls, my shaft, my groins, inner thighs and arse till I feel my shaft is going to snap. She lubes my cock all over. Then she strokes me off with her hand sliding right up over my knob. As she HJs me her breasts swing with the rhythm above me. I play with her legs, bottom and pussy and breasts reaching right up between her legs. She takes much longer than when I masturbate. I shoot my cum up my chest and she wipes it off me with a tissue. Beat that!

Short answer - What's the ideal handjob? The next one.

Longer answer - The Three "E" z's 1. Enthusiasm - a partner who wants this as pleasure for her as much as she wants it for me. 2. Engagement - communicate with eye contact, and verbal cues. This can include fantasy stories, teasing, or simply excitement of what is happening in the moment (see #1) 3. Eroticism - relish the details of the physical and psychological act. Use the sights, sounds, smell, and tastes to weave a moment set apart from the rest of the day (or night).

Me and them (I am open to just about anyone so I'm going to use non-binary pronouns here) alone somewhere making out. Could be in bed, in front of a blazing fire, out by the pool, or out of doors. They unzip me and pull my cock out. It is already getting stiff. We continue to make out as they caress it with their hand. Adding some lube, they begin to slide their hand back and forth along it. Eyes meet as my orgasm swells. Cum pours out.

Getting jerked off in a bath or shower would be another ideal scenario for me. Wet bodies are a turn-on so playing in the water would be fun.

Quote: “Getting jerked off in a bath or shower would be another ideal scenario for me. Wet bodies are a turn-on so playing in the water would be fun.” Getting jerked off by my wife in the shower is certainly one of my favourites. The close proximity, our glistening wet naked bodies brushing together, her well-soaped hand round my shaft, her nude body for me to play with, then that delicious moment when my semen shoots straight out across the cubicle ... and no need to clean up!

The one you get

I've never understood why someone else's hand on me is so much more pleasurable than my own hand, but it is. So my answer is like Icarus, the one you get ... with the caveat, as others have said, that Engagement is key.

On a number of occasions I have had inexperienced women touch me who squeezed too hard, rubbed the head too much when it was dry or pulled the foreskin too much. I can't blame them for not knowing what (not) to do, since they don't have one of their own, but that's why it's so important to be engaged with your partner (no matter what they're doing). Ideally if something less pleasurable is happening, ideally the recipient is able to communicate it subtly, without going "ow!", and the person giving is tuned in enough to read those cues. Also just as important to communicate, and read, what feels the most pleasurable. That goes for handjobs, blowjobs, pussy eating, fingering and pretty much everything.

Not in the contest but Festively Flashing: Disrobed

Festive Flash competition entry: Amy's Mom

I get dicked by a federal agent in Recommended Read Dick Job

I pork everyone in my other Recommended Read, Pork by Northwest

Card catalog? Hard catalog! My library

Bound, with my legs in the air, briefs on at first, knees bent. I like being teased through my briefs, boxers, whatever, then very slowly exposed - perhaps cutting off my briefs. It would be even better if another woman (women) are watching or participating. I like my balls to be lightly fondled while being stroked. Once into it, add lube and continue. I like a gentle touch of my taint and a finger pressing against my asshole. Vary the rhythm slightly. Don't do any one thing with the balls, taint, or asshole too long. Keep that hand moving around - lightly. Dialogue? "You have no choice in the matter." "I (we) want to see you vulnerable and cumming for us." "I'm gonna make you cum." As far as I'm concerned, a lubed hand job is the best. Other possibilities include; a vibrating dong pressed against my asshole, a wand against my taint or against the underside of the tip of my cock.

I think when it's done silently and with an air of competence is best. For me, there's nothing better than a woman who just gets on with it without prior warning, but other than that, carries out exactly the kinds of movements I would. Basically outsourced wanking.