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Can a woman's sordid sexual history prevent her from being "the one"?

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Active Ink Slinger
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i don't think so
Active Ink Slinger
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If she really loved me, it would not make any difference, might add something as her being experienced.
Lurker
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A person's true character is what is important to me. The past is the past and the now...the future.
Advanced Wordsmith
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I think extreme sexual things and a big sexual past (being a slut) make it very hard for her to be "the one."
Active Ink Slinger
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what she has done in her past is no problem,if she wants to bring into he bedroom,fine as well
Lurker
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Simply no, If she is the one, I would want to know everything about her.
Active Ink Slinger
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I used to be very insecure and being with a partner that has had more sexual experience of a risque type might have given me some reservations. The fact that I might want to try something new and finding out that she has already done it would make me feel like I am always stepping on someone else's toes and that she and I will not be able to experience those 'firsts' that enhance a relationship. Then there is the fact that as a guy, we tend to wonder where we are rated in how well we please her, or are we 'big' enough compared to previous lovers. But, this is where it is important to have compassion, excellent communication skills and to remember...who is she with now?
Lurker
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Exteme things going on might... I cannot see myself every getting involved with someone who did not fit my lifestyle as well.

For example... if she was into swinging in the past, and I was not... then likely that is not going to work

Similarly if she was a call girl... that would likely not work

so to answer your question, for me, yeah it makes a difference.
Lurker
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For me to says he's the one would take a lot but only very few things would turn me from her, I'd expect her to have had sex before, but if she was a former prostitute/escort, had been gang-banged many times and the other bukkake and double-penetration many times are my turning points but the others aren't a big issue if she did stripping was an"online" model I would love to know her stories of her experiences in those industries.

Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in church, everyone is disgusted with you but deep down they all want one too.
Active Ink Slinger
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DD you know my history, but maybe some of the other Lushies do not. I had done just about anything you could think of, most of them lots of times and loved it all.

I didn't think I was either the wife or mother of my children type and had no problem with what my future was. At a professor's Fall party that you must attend, there was a guy surrounded by a group of Coeds. I did not think he noticed me and would never be interested. Just before I was about to leave he came by and introduced himself. I do not think I even gave him my name. Why would I?

He called me the next day and the next and most every day after that and was rejected each time. Even changed my phone and he still found me. I finally agreed to a coffee date and knew when I told him the whole story he would run as fast as his feet would carry him. He listened and listened and listened some more and he said nothing and asked nothing.

When I was finished he Said "I thought it could be something serious, like you were a Democrat!"

We have been married for over 20 years, and have two grown daughters, so I guess I was the one.

It happened to us and it could happen to you too. Don't let labels ruin the opportunity!
Active Ink Slinger
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When I first read the question I was no I'm open minded and don't care, then I read the quoted text below and realized that maybe I'm not as open minded as I thought. I have dated exotic dancers by the truck load when I worked in a club. I was living with an escort when I was in Germany and would have married her if she would have come back to the USA with me, but she refused.
Short of this I think I could deal with just about anything that two consenting adults can think of to do together.
I'm not sure if this makes me open minded or just twisted.

Quote by WellMadeMale
Deal breaker fetishes for me would include beastiality, , necrophilia, scat interests, extreme BDSM.

It's only kinky the first time.
Advanced Wordsmith
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It might be a deal-breaker but it might not. Because it's not about what she (or he) did in the past but whether its part of them now and going forwards.
Devil's Advocate
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A woman's sordid sexual history isn't a good enough reason to miss out on what could be a genuine, loving relationship. Whatever happened in her past merely makes up the building blocks of who she is in the present. And if I like who she is, I only have who she was to thank for it.

Group sex or previous sex work doesn't phase me at all. Hell, I dabbled as a transsexual phone whore. Who am I to judge? I honestly don't think I have any limits as far as that goes, provided it's not a destructive part of her life now.

The things I might struggle with are an ongoing sexually transmitted infection, or funnily enough, if she'd been with someone I know. But if she's the one, then she's the one. You just find a way to deal with it, right?
My latest story is a racy little piece about what happens when someone cute from work invites you over to watch Netflix and Chill.
Story Verifier
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For me a woman's sexual history would have no bearing on having a relationship with her. What does bother me though is the fact that it seems ok for guys to have a 'sordid' (whatever that means) sexual history and yet women get stigmatised for having one. If it's ok for guys to play the field when they are single then it's ok for women to do so the same. Relationships are built on love and not sexual history.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
Active Ink Slinger
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dont see why it should
Active Ink Slinger
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It depends on what happened in her past sexual life.

If she was part of a donkey show or any other aspect of beastiality, then yes it can matter.

If she were part of a 200 man gang bang, yes it can matter. Not entirely because she had sex with 200 guys at once, but that it reveals that there may/could be some other deep and traumatic underlying emotional issues.

If she was ever involved in an incestuous relationship, it can prevent her from being "the one". If she had consensual sex with her brother. Or her dad. That could be a warning sign for dangers to any future children we produced together.



When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Lurker
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Quote by lafayettemister
It depends on what happened in her past sexual life.

If she was part of a donkey show or any other aspect of beastiality, then yes it can matter.

If she were part of a 200 man gang bang, yes it can matter. Not entirely because she had sex with 200 guys at once, but that it reveals that there may/could be some other deep and traumatic underlying emotional issues.

If she was ever involved in an incestuous relationship, it can prevent her from being "the one". If she had consensual sex with her brother. Or her dad. That could be a warning sign for dangers to any future children we produced together.



Amen!
Wild at Heart
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Quote by WellMadeMale
beastiality


Lurker
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remember, it's NEVER about how you start... but how you finish.... so NO
Madam Carol
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Well, what if it were the other way. He married you as a virgin and then you started adding the kinky stuff? Then suddenly you realize you're a hot wife, and... loving it.
Lurker
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I guess it depends on how you define "sordid." If you just mean excessive, it's not automatically a negative although it also depends on the man. In the long term, relationships usually do better the more common ground the two have. If they're of approximately the same age and he's had several lovers his whole life and she's had that many in an hour, I would have to wonder if they're compatible. Also, some people do damage themselves psychologically and emotionally in their behavior if it's manic or driven by some kind of neurosis, and that includes their sexual behavior. Such a person wouldn't be a companion so much as a dependent, and just speaking for myself, I want the former, not the later.
Active Ink Slinger
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Yes, in most cases.
Lurker
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"Sordid" as opposed to a man's? Truth will set you free! Either way, makes a nice pillow talk conversation. Enjoy the moment, and let it go.
The Bee's Knees
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rather interesting reading in this thread. like many of you, i'd like to think i could look past their history. after all, it shaped the person i know today.

Say. Her. Name.


Lurker
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Quote by honeydipped
rather interesting reading in this thread. like many of you, i'd like to think i could look past their history. after all, it shaped the person i know today.


I agree with you. That part of her life is at least in some degree why you are in love with her. Besides that is in the past and the important thing is the future. Finally, judging others is not good, we all have our history with good/bad choices and that is just part of life
Active Ink Slinger
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A partners past makes no difference to me whatsoever. Confidence is huge turn on and a massive attraction. Anyone who is willing to open up honestly and truthfully about what turns them on and what they like sexually is a keeper and it would only make me consider them even more as 'the one'! If a partner opened up about a more extreme past that you mention, it would make me think the relationship was going to be one built on trust and honesty.
Υπηρέτης της Αφροδίτης
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Can a leopard change its spots ? I think not, therefore I couldn't put any faith in anybody with a dodgy history.
In the world's harsh wear and tear many a very sincere attachment is slowly obliterated.


Είμαι ταξιδιώτης τόσο στο χρόνο όσο και στο διάστημα
Lurker
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Do you mean in comparison, to my sordid sexual history?