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Baffling....

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Pixie
Flutterby Pharie
Why is it when a girl cries, you men have no friggin idea what to do?? Obviously we are crying for some reason, weather it be we are angry, sad or you have done something to hurt us. I want to know why you cant seem to figure out how to handle us in this situation. And if you can handle it, how do you do so?
♥ Listen, touch, and look around in the air and on the ground. If you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wings. ♥
Guest
Lurker
Pixie no expert here by any means but could be some guys are just afraid to show off a softer side of themselves? Ya know? But me I have had a couple friends and relatives start crying for different reasons I didn't offer any advice to them at the time was just there to give them a hug and hold them if they nedded it and that alone seemed to work well. Hope that helps ya.
Guest
Lurker
How do us girls cope when we see our men cry, I wonder how many women are sympathetic for them, Just a thought..............
Guest
Lurker
Quote by Pixie
Why is it when a girl cries, you men have no friggin idea what to do?? Obviously we are crying for some reason, weather it be we are angry, sad or you have done something to hurt us. I want to know why you cant seem to figure out how to handle us in this situation. And if you can handle it, how do you do so?



First you get them to let you hold'em....then you get their head on your shoulder and let them go a while...then you whisper in her ear "talk to me". You listen carefully...hold them tighter when they need it...don't offer ideas, just your shoulder and arms. Gently wipe the tears from her face and reassure her "we'll get through this together".

Bascially they need to talk/vent which helps get it started...then help her if she wants you to.

Or when they start crying....during your love making but you are still going strong....then they start crying in your arms in mid-thrust...and then I FREAK!..."oh no baby" she says "don't stop...it's a good cry"...and I run and jump out of the second story window and the police come and handcuff me while I'm standing naked still talking the the "mailbox".....WTF!!!!
rxtales
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by HoneyBee000
How do us girls cope when we see our men cry, I wonder how many women are sympathetic for them, Just a thought..............


When a guy cried I ask what's wrong and do whatever I can to make him feel better. Just like I would any girl.
Lisa
Moderator
Quote by Jason9035
First you get them to let you hold'em....then you get their head on your shoulder and let them go a while...then you whisper in her ear "talk to me". You listen carefully...hold them tighter when they need it...don't offer ideas, just your shoulder and arms. Gently wipe the tears from her face and reassure her "we'll get through this together".

Bascially they need to talk/vent which helps get it started...then help her if she wants you to.

Or when they start crying....during your love making but you are still going strong....then they start crying in your arms in mid-thrust...and then I FREAK!..."oh no baby" she says "don't stop...it's a good cry"...and I run and jump out of the second story window and the police come and handcuff me while I'm standing naked still talking the the "mailbox".....WTF!!!!


That was really sweet...and then really funny!
Pixie
Flutterby Pharie
Oh come on guys, your killing me! I havent gotten any direct answers, which just proves that all men are clueless! LOL
♥ Listen, touch, and look around in the air and on the ground. If you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wings. ♥
Guest
Lurker
If a loved one cries, I immediately try to comfort her. Then I try to think of suggestions to solve the problem.
runonwords
Active Ink Slinger
Immediate comfort with a lapse time to give the person a re captured opportunity then try to determine what else could be done to give support without pusing too hard!
This works for male and female!
Guest
Lurker
Men seem to want to "fix" the problem rather than just let us get it out and vent. Hint: just hold me and listen. If I want a solution I will ask.
caharain
Active Ink Slinger
*Laughing* Handeling a live grenade with the spoon popped is easier then handeling a crying woman. It is a whole lot cheaper too as I tend to give her anything she wants just to stop.....Oh God, I just gave away my secret.....
So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” Anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family. George Carlin
Primal
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Pixie
Why is it when a girl cries, you men have no friggin idea what to do?? Obviously we are crying for some reason, weather it be we are angry, sad or you have done something to hurt us. I want to know why you cant seem to figure out how to handle us in this situation. And if you can handle it, how do you do so?



We are wired differently and react differently.

Or,

We are stupid.






I have to go with stupid. I came home one time to find my girlfriend balling her eyes out on the phone with her mother and tried to ask what was wrong multiple times and tried to hug her but she kept ignoring me or yelling at me to shut-up and leave her alone, so I left the bedroom and went to make something to eat in the kitchen. Well I was sitting at the computer reading ESPN.com when she comes out of the bedroom yelling at me for not comforting her when she was crying and upset.

I nearly choked on my sandwich out of confusion.


In order to know virtue, you must first become acquainted with vice.
- Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade
-------
En vis mann slår aldri en hund i klubben med en stokk, fordi hunden vil vende rundt og biter mannens ballene av.
fystee
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by caharain
*Laughing* Handeling a live grenade with the spoon popped is easier then handeling a crying woman. It is a whole lot cheaper too as I tend to give her anything she wants just to stop.....Oh God, I just gave away my secret.....

lol
Luckymann
Rookie Scribe
Pixie, we are not all clueless. However, men have been trying to figure out women for eons. We are not mind readers, you know. Women cry for a host of reasons, including something dumb they saw on TV. If you tell us what's bothering you, we may be able to do something about it. Until you start talking, a good hug is all we can give you ladies.
Guest
Lurker
No. Men aren't stupid.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by Jason9035
Quote by Pixie
Why is it when a girl cries, you men have no friggin idea what to do?? Obviously we are crying for some reason, weather it be we are angry, sad or you have done something to hurt us. I want to know why you cant seem to figure out how to handle us in this situation. And if you can handle it, how do you do so?



First you get them to let you hold'em....then you get their head on your shoulder and let them go a while...then you whisper in her ear "talk to me". You listen carefully...hold them tighter when they need it...don't offer ideas, just your shoulder and arms. Gently wipe the tears from her face and reassure her "we'll get through this together".

Bascially they need to talk/vent which helps get it started...then help her if she wants you to.

Or when they start crying....during your love making but you are still going strong....then they start crying in your arms in mid-thrust...and then I FREAK!..."oh no baby" she says "don't stop...it's a good cry"...and I run and jump out of the second story window and the police come and handcuff me while I'm standing naked still talking the the "mailbox".....WTF!!!!


You beat me to that. I was going to say that women cry during sex at times. I have done it myself. It's not due to anger or sadness or something bad you did. I see it as being very emotionally affected by whatever is going on during that time. I wrote about this topic on another blog at another site. Men do freak out when their lover cries. lol
castlequeen
Active Ink Slinger
Hubby's good for just holding me and soothing me until I've cried it out, then he'll want to know what if anything he can do to help, which I love because sometimes I just need the holding, and sometimes I need a solution! It's also nice to know he's never 100% certain what to do, so he ASKS me, which makes me feel better instantly, because he's willing to do whatever I might need.
I dated a guy once who couldn't handle crying at all, he'd offer me anything in the world to stop, do you need a drink? a hug? a soda? your jacket? a fur coat? diamond earrings? If I was cruel I could gotten anything I wanted from him.oEfobQLizfjCTgce
Now our men crying?
He's only cried a few times that I know of, when I accepted his proposal, he shed a few happy tears, when he found out we were expecting we both cried tears of joy, and while in the theater watching the move UP, he bawled like a baby in a certain spot. Admittedly, so did I. He's also got a book series that he loves and there's a part in the final book that never fails to get him.
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere." - Groucho Marx
Primal
Active Ink Slinger
The first time I had sex with my ex she started crying heavily in the middle of sex. It scared me I thought I did something but she insisted I keep going and she kept crying for a few minutes. Afterward, she told me she momentarily forgot where she was, a kind of flashback. Apparently, six months before we got together she was in a weird relationship with an older man she met online who would get her drunk and her after she passed out. She woke up briefly in the middle of a couple of these passed out rapes and once was on her back with her legs up over his shoulders. This was the position we were in when she cried. He did this repeatedly and I have no clue why she kept seeing him. She did eventually report him and his career in the military ended (his apartment was in the barracks on an Air Force base and several airmen were discharged for sneaking young women onto the base).

I personally very, very rarely cry. I can count on one hand the number of times I have cried. I cried when I read the email my fiance dumped me with, but I have never cried over my friends murder or family members passing away. When I was a kid I cried when my dog died though.

I think some people cry and some don't. Different ways of dealing with things.


In order to know virtue, you must first become acquainted with vice.
- Donatien Alphonse Francois de Sade
-------
En vis mann slår aldri en hund i klubben med en stokk, fordi hunden vil vende rundt og biter mannens ballene av.
Chauncey
Active Ink Slinger
what I would do is first try to comfort her and ask her whats wrong. I am by no means an expert, but I would try to find out why and comfort her any way I can.
mercianknight
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by ali2teaseu
Men seem to want to "fix" the problem rather than just let us get it out and vent. Hint: just hold me and listen. If I want a solution I will ask.


Ali pretty much sums up the case from my perspective. Trying to "FIX" things has got me into more trouble than I care to talk about.
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
mranonymous7
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Pixie
Why is it when a girl cries, you men have no friggin idea what to do?? Obviously we are crying for some reason, weather it be we are angry, sad or you have done something to hurt us. I want to know why you cant seem to figure out how to handle us in this situation. And if you can handle it, how do you do so?

we don't know how to handle you because we generally have NO clue why you're crying.
ChuckEPoo
Chuckanator
Quote by Pixie
Why is it when a girl cries, you men have no friggin idea what to do?? Obviously we are crying for some reason, weather it be we are angry, sad or you have done something to hurt us. I want to know why you cant seem to figure out how to handle us in this situation. And if you can handle it, how do you do so?


Good question. I'm still young, just 54. I have tried all my adult life to figure out women. So when she cries my immediate response is to ask, "What is wrong?" That is the normal man's response. As men we are direct and think we can fix anything.

Her response is usually, "Nothing."

My reply is, "Nothing? How can it be nothing?" I'm pragmatic and believe all problems have solutions. Not knowing I'm really suppose to be able to read her mind.

She says in tears, "I'm fine." (Caution here. Fine never ever means fine.)

"Fine????" You are not fine. You are crying."

"Never mind. You can't understand. Just leave me alone."

So guys, if you leave her alone at this point, you are the closest thing there is to dead meat. Here is the only choice you have. Go to her put your arms around her. Hug her tight and kiss her on the cheek and say, "What ever bothers you darling we can overcome it... together."

At this point she may or may not tell you. Probably not. Don't push her. She will tell in her own time. What have we learned? We learned that she doesn't want a repair man, she wants a man to just love her.
WellMadeMale
Constant Gardener
Quote by Pixie
Why is it when a girl cries, you men have no friggin idea what to do??

And if you can handle it, how do you do so?


I'd pull the thorn out of her paw, and hope she'd remember my act of benevolence the next time I dialed her up at 3am for a booty call.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
hopp3r
Active Ink Slinger
Why is it when a girl cries, you men have no friggin idea what to do?

In my experience, there are many, many reasons as to why a girl may be crying. As such, I'm apprehensive to do anything until I have a decent understanding of the cause, the situation, and what is needed from me. Does she need to be held? Does she need to be asked questions and let vent her frustrations? Is she physically hurt? Crying on its own is indicative of a problem but what kind of problem is impossible for me to discern from sobbing alone, unless (perhaps) I know her extremely well.

I can’t think of a good tagline so this will have to do. Suggest a better one for me?
PullnPray
Rookie Scribe
Quote by Pixie
Why is it when a girl cries, you men have no friggin idea what to do?? Obviously we are crying for some reason, weather it be we are angry, sad or you have done something to hurt us. I want to know why you cant seem to figure out how to handle us in this situation. And if you can handle it, how do you do so?


I get the feeling that knowing "what to do" actually just means doing what you want us to do.

If my girl is crying about something that has nothing to do with me, then it is easy to know what to do; I comfort her. But if her tears are a result of a conflict between us, then I might not respond the way she hopes. Sometimes women use tears as a weapon. For example, say a couple are in a fight and she says something mean to him, and then he says something equally mean to her, and then she starts crying. Is he supposed to stop being angry at her and comfort her? What if she's the one in the wrong? That seems to be when women cry the most.