here is something i have noticed in my life that other women have nodded along with, and i'm curious to get a guy's perspective:
it's pretty much a "common knowledge" cliché to say that the big "home run fantasy" for a dude is being in a threesome. and it's equally a "common knowledge" cliché that women tend to resist them, or only participate to get them man to stop bugging them about it.
and yet...
i've noticed that whenever i've gotten a guy i'm seeing and another woman to agree to a threesome, more than likely it never transpires -- because the guy gets cold feet and backs out before the event. i have never once had a gal back out. and like i say, whenever i mention this to gals i know, they all say they have witnessed the same.
so i'm curious to get a guy's perspective: why do guys back out more than women? and just as intriguing to me, why do we continue to collectively talk about it in terms of it being a thing men love and women (sometimes) tolerate?
thx in advance!!!!
You may be dealing with the wrong guys?! I have often fantasized about being in a threesome, particularly a MMW grouping. I get super aroused when a woman is turned on by the one(s) she is with, and I have often chafed that I can't stimulate more erogenous zones at the same time of the one I'm with. So, being one of two guys sharing the woman turns me on because now I see the possibilities of so much attention given to the lady of the moment with a likely orgasmic release. I think the two guys then have to be agreed on their approach to the lady...I'd prefer fun, gentle, teasing, sensual, and on, and on, and on...
I wish I knew the women you do. Would love to be in that position but never will be, and I certainly wouldn't back out!
I have had them and if all are on board it is wonderful
Threesomes are tricky of course. You have to find people you trust to make it work. I've had both MMF and MFF threesomes, and i've had only about two people one girl and one guy back out. I asked them what was wrong and they said it was too much for them and i didnt push the subject. But it's always worked more for me if you find people on the same level of sexualality and experience, and that you trust.
I've never been crazy on the whole threesome thing. I'm not completely dismissing it, but I wouldn't say it's a fantasy of mine.
I can imagine that the guys you've known to back out have felt a bit of pressure. Guys often talk a good game, but a lot of them are probably at least a little insecure or uncertain about how good they really are in bed. A brand new sexual experience like this could serve to heighten his anxiety.
If they're faced with the prospect of two women, maybe they're feeling pressured to do twice the work they usually do. Maybe they're nervous about trying to please a new sexual partner.
If they're faced with bringing another man into the mix, they may feel threatened. What if they don't "measure up"? What if his girl is more interested in the other guy? What if some bisexual stuff goes down that he wasn't really mentally prepared for?
It's also possible that the guy never really wanted a threesome in the first place, but was more in love with the idea of a threesome. Maybe he felt, because of this "common knowledge" you talk about that he's supposed to want a threesome.
Like I say, I'm not crazy on threesomes, and the situation you describe has never been a reality for me, so I don't actually know. But guys have their hang-ups, too.
For me, although it had been a teenage dream, I would likely not participate. I am a 1 woman guy and if I am playing with someone else, it is that much attention that I am not giving to my one and only.
Clum's hit this one on the head. Plenty can talk the talk, but not as many can walk the walk. The idea that men are emotionless sexual robots is a myth. Throw on top of that an actual requirement to perform, and discretion is often the better part of valor.
The one threesome I've had, I found myself only able to focus on one of the women at a time. I'm sure a little more diversity and breadth of experience might alter my view, but to be honest, I'd just as much go one on one. I think it's the idea itself more than the actual act.
That Seinfeld episode where they come up with the ménage a trois plan sums it up perfectly.
My latest story is a racy little piece about what happens when someone cute from work invites you over to watch Netflix and Chill. thanks, everyone. these are all really awesome and considered answers. i really appreciate it.
you guys rock.
Great question. Never put much thought into it myself. Never backed out of one. Never bugged a woman about one. Never been invited to one physically(cyber 3some yes). So idk why guys get cold feet. If the opportunity arises I'm taking it. Not getting my hopes up tho.
OK, if it's two women and me and they're lesbians..., I'd feel like a third wheel. And if they're both straight, I'm realistic and honest enough to know I couldn't please them both. Well, maybe years ago I could have.
But if it's me, another guy, and a woman? Well that's a different story. I've done that and I totally enjoyed it. If I liked a couple and was invited, there's no way that I'd be a no-show!
And if my wife asked if we could invite another guy to join us, well, I'd think that I'd died and gone to heaven!
had some great times with FFm - girls tend to love this equally in my experience
I haven't had one but would love to try it.
My wife wanted to fuck my friend and after thinking about it I agreed, He was all for it and fucked the shit out of her, I enjoyed watching them fuck, We have been sharing her for over 30 years now, and I still like to watch them fuck and get sloppy seconds.
I've only been offered a threesome once. It was just after I became engaged. It was not offered by my fiancee. I refused.
I still wonder what it would have been like.
Well I've never had a threesome but it is very difficult to conceive that I would back out when presented with the opportunity...but then again I haven't been offered one so I don't know if I would get cold feet if I did not know all partners concerned.
I would love to be in a threesome but I'm not really getting my hopes up.
I think the thought of having two women pleasuring me is exciting. However, the other side of the coin is the worry of not being able to 'measure' up and the after party jealousy. It is probably best left as a fantasy desire.
A lot of men feel threatened. They ask themselves questions like "is she going to enjoy this too much and leave me for her/him?" I think that's the biggest thing. Instead of talking it through and making sure everyone is happy, the man ignores his feelings until it's too late and then backs out at the very last moment, just because he didn't address those concerns. Of course, I'm just surmising, I really don't know. Personally, if a woman has asked me for a threesome, I've always gone for it. But then, I've never been in love with any of those women, so maybe that makes a difference.
Big fantasy to have a casual threesome, (MFF!).
Mixed, black and white.
Would prefer two bisexual women, so I could just enjoy satisfying them as they would each other.
I like the idea of just being used and able to be a voyeur as well.
Far more about mutual satisfaction than my own.
Of all our inventions for mass communication,
pictures still speak the most universally understood language.
Walt Disney I have never had the experience come up to decline or otherwise fill my wildest dreams. I can understand why a guy might back down after agreeing to have the FFM 3some and for me I have thought about having one with my wife, but the women she might be ok with sexually are not the women I would be interested in and same with women I might be ok with she may not be. I find this strange, not sure why?
I have never had the experience come up to decline or otherwise fill my wildest dreams. I can understand why a guy might back down after agreeing to have the FFM 3some and for me I have thought about having one with my wife, but the women she might be ok with sexually are not the women I would be interested in and same with women I might be ok with she may not be. I find this strange, not sure why?
I nearly backed out of my first ffm three some in fear of my then girlfriend getting mad that I spent to much time with her friend or that I would enjoy her friend more then her. But she encouraged me enough to hit that and I think she rather enjoyed seeing me with her friend Really glad I did it, would do it again.
