Your man tells you he is gay

23 Oct 2011

Hey ladies if your man told you he was gay, whether you had been married for many years, or started dating a few days before, what would your reaction be and why?

23 Oct 2011

I was in this situation once a couple of years ago. I was accepting, we were pretty young, and to be honest it really didn´t surprise me. What I was angry about though, was that he had cheated on me. It didn´t really matter that it was with a guy. I was also angry that he couldn´t talk to me about what was going on. I would hope that whoever I am with told that he was gay, instead of letting me find out, or lying to me about it.

23 Oct 2011

that makes sense. i had to tell a girl i was dating once that i was gay. thankfully i was like edited by admin when i realized myself so our relationship hadn't been serious, however, i think she was still hurt.

23 Oct 2011

Quote by RicoG
Hey ladies if your man told you he was gay, whether you had been married for many years, or started dating a few days before, what would your reaction be and why?

This would make a world of difference I would think to everyone. If you've only been dating a few days, you're not vested in that person. If you're married, you've made a legal as well as emotional commitment to them. There's usually a lot more time involved as well as a deeper understanding in their emotional make up.

23 Oct 2011

Quote by chefkathleen
Quote by RicoG
Hey ladies if your man told you he was gay, whether you had been married for many years, or started dating a few days before, what would your reaction be and why?

This would make a world of difference I would think to everyone. If you've only been dating a few days, you're not vested in that person. If you're married, you've made a legal as well as emotional commitment to them. There's usually a lot more time involved as well as a deeper understanding in their emotional make up.

Oh i know that i just wanted to make it clear that anyone can and should answer the question.

23 Oct 2011

You really have no reasonable choice other than to accept it.

23 Oct 2011

I would be accepting in the same way that I would be accepting if the partner I was with chose to break-up with me for whatever reason. I think what it boils down to is mutual respect. When someone wants out of a relationship, they need to be able to dissolve the relationship in a respectful way.

There is a huge difference between a conflicted or bisexual guy finally being brave enough to 'come out' and live the life he really wants and telling his wife/girlfriend versus a gay guy that is purposely using a girl as a 'beard' for family and society and totally disrespecting her along the way.

I work with a women those husband's conservative background seemed to pressure him to pretend to be straight. So he married this girl and then basically just treated her like a child-incubator and roommate while he carried on with his long-term boyfriend on the sly. She had no idea until she caught them... 10 years later! I think it's unfair for a guy to fuck up someone else's life knowing that they have no real interest in being with them other than to sign the marriage certificate and procreate. Some women might be accepting of the situation (eg. maybe they are lesbian and unable to come out or women who just want to marry their best friend) but I think it should be arranged up front.

I know many gay men that have been married and genuinely tried to make it work but realized later in life that they would prefer to be with a guy. Personally I wouldn't have a problem with it as long as I felt like he was being respectful about the break-up and the situation. When it comes down to it, cheating is cheating. If he realized he was gay and we went through a prolonged period where he was withholding sex while fucking around with guys on the side, I'd be just as pissed as if it was with another girl.

23 Oct 2011

Quote by Dancing_Doll

There is a huge difference between a conflicted or bisexual guy finally being brave enough to 'come out' and live the life he really wants and telling his wife/girlfriend versus a gay guy that is purposely using a girl as a 'beard' for family and society and totally disrespecting her along the way.

I totally agree there is no excuse for that at all. It is a disgusting thing to do to a person.

23 Oct 2011

Time to hit the local gay club to find him a boy friend to play with!

Bunny12

Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off!

23 Oct 2011

Quote by Bunny12
Time to hit the local gay club to find him a boy friend to play with!

You know that's right!!

23 Oct 2011

Hey, can you be straight with me?

If not, what's your malfunction? Why pick me to carry on your charade with?

Is it because all I ever did was love you?

How's that make ya feel, big guy?

The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.

23 Oct 2011

Love is blind so any "signs" could be very easily written off.
I'd like to say I'd be accepting, if it hasn't been that long I was seeing them
But on the other hand I'd probably be hurt... the amount of time I've invested in the relationship would probably equal the amount of hurt or betrayal I felt
Especially if it comes as a total surprise.

23 Oct 2011

I went through this a few years ago with a long time bf. Looking back now I can see a lot of signs that I missed but was just too young to understand smile

. It was heartbreaking at the time but he is so happy now that he's out and we are very good friends still!

24 Oct 2011

Quote by RicoG
Quote by chefkathleen
Quote by RicoG
Hey ladies if your man told you he was gay, whether you had been married for many years, or started dating a few days before, what would your reaction be and why?

This would make a world of difference I would think to everyone. If you've only been dating a few days, you're not vested in that person. If you're married, you've made a legal as well as emotional commitment to them. There's usually a lot more time involved as well as a deeper understanding in their emotional make up.

Oh i know that i just wanted to make it clear that anyone can and should answer the question.

What the hell does your response mean?

Chef was responding and why should she clearly answer a question where there is no definative answer. Buddy relax!
I think it would mean you were a player and you conviced a woman to marry or date you - if you knew you were gay to begin with, you should be ashamed of yourself

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

[URL=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

24 Oct 2011

I would initially be hurt that he hid it from me...that he didn't feel close enough or trust me enough to come out sooner. In the end I would accept it. I'd want him in my life even if only as a friend.

24 Oct 2011

hurts, but cant change a person and what makes them happy.

24 Oct 2011

Quote by Dudealicious

Chef was responding and why should she clearly answer a question where there is no definative answer. Buddy relax!
I think it would mean you were a player and you conviced a woman to marry or date you - if you knew you were gay to begin with, you should be ashamed of yourself

Woah there dude! nothing about my post was meant to sound defensive. I was merely qualifying the Original Post in response to chef. I phrased it the way I did to make it clear to viewers that they should feel free to answer the question regardless of the relationship status they were in at the time the incident occurred, or they imagined it could occur. I am sorry if my post sounded defensive. It was by no means supposed to be. It is a funny thing about the internet, you can never tell emotions through text. And you can end up insulting someone accidentally because of a misinterpretation happy8

i need to use more emoticons! LOL < and more of those

24 Oct 2011

Quote by Dudealicious
if you knew you were gay to begin with, you should be ashamed of yourself

this may be another misinterpretation becasue of the internet but i feel as though you are attacking me. The time it happened to me was when I was very young. I didn't know it going into the relationship but I knew it midway through. I am not ashamed of myself!

24 Oct 2011

Quote by RicoG
Quote by Dudealicious
if you knew you were gay to begin with, you should be ashamed of yourself

this may be another misinterpretation becasue of the internet but i feel as though you are attacking me. The time it happened to me was when I was very young. I didn't know it going into the relationship but I knew it midway through. I am not ashamed of myself!

Rico, that is exactly why I had said to begin with.

I have no clue who you are as a person and would not come out and attack you. I am actually a person who gives people the benefit of the doubt (maybe a little too much at times)

As for your sexuality I would celebrate it! We are all too young to get caught up with sterotypes and labels. I can only imagine that you are in a much better place in your life now.

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

[URL=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

24 Oct 2011

Quote by Dudealicious

As for your sexuality I would celebrate it! We are all too young to get caught up with sterotypes and labels. I can only imagine that you are in a much better place in your life now.

Oh Hon you have no idea how much i celebrate who i am. Yeah it was hard being kicked out of my house as a kid, however, i felt/ feel welome in joeys family and i celebrate all the time. Not an ounce of self hatred in me!

27 Oct 2011

Quote by RicoG
Quote by Dudealicious

As for your sexuality I would celebrate it! We are all too young to get caught up with sterotypes and labels. I can only imagine that you are in a much better place in your life now.

Oh Hon you have no idea how much i celebrate who i am. Yeah it was hard being kicked out of my house as a kid, however, i felt/ feel welome in joeys family and i celebrate all the time. Not an ounce of self hatred in me!

Join the club Rico, I have been there as well I lived on my own since I was 16. Actually lived with a gay man once I moved out.

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

[URL=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

27 Oct 2011

Quote by Dudealicious

Join the club Rico, I have been there as well I lived on my own since I was 16. Actually lived with a gay man once I moved out.

Thankfully not on my own. I was 13 when i told my parents that I wasn't sure i liked girls and I wanted to date a guy. they told me to go for a walk and come back when I was normal. I was so upset I called joey and within a week I was living with his family. Sorry to hear you felt the need to leave at such a young age.

27 Oct 2011

Quote by RicoG
Quote by Dudealicious

Join the club Rico, I have been there as well I lived on my own since I was 16. Actually lived with a gay man once I moved out.

Thankfully not on my own. I was 13 when i told my parents that I wasn't sure i liked girls and I wanted to date a guy. they told me to go for a walk and come back when I was normal. I was so upset I called joey and within a week I was living with his family. Sorry to hear you felt the need to leave at such a young age.

I didn't feel the need Rico I was kicked out, thought that was pretty clear in my first post.

Edit: You just said you were kicked out a few posts ago? Now you weren't ummm?

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

[URL=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

27 Oct 2011

you two will argue about anything ....

well .... back to the original query ... one does what one needs to for their own heart to be happy.

I know of a man, who is gay and married to a lovely lady. He informed her about 10 years into their marriage and 2 kids later. Their marriage is not much different than all those marriages out there where the husband/wife does not leave the marriage because they feel the children will suffer. I don't agree with that line of logic, but it works for them.

I wonder though, if the children will be even more homophobic or upset with what their parents sham of a marriage was, later in their life, when it will eventually come out. Before anyone attacks me on my statement; it's their marriage and they are happy but I think the children will suffer more later when they learn of their parents sacrificing their own happiness for their children.

Peace

27 Oct 2011

Quote by Yahtzee

you two will argue about anything ....

well .... back to the original query ... one does what one needs to for their own heart to be happy.

I know of a man, who is gay and married to a lovely lady. He informed her about 10 years into their marriage and 2 kids later. Their marriage is not much different than all those marriages out there where the husband/wife does not leave the marriage because they feel the children will suffer. I don't agree with that line of logic, but it works for them.

I wonder though, if the children will be even more homophobic or upset with what their parents sham of a marriage was, later in their life, when it will eventually come out. Before anyone attacks me on my statement; it's their marriage and they are happy but I think the children will suffer more later when they learn of their parents sacrificing their own happiness for their children.

Peace

No it's not arguing, all I see is someone changing the base of their post. To me when it happens too often is a little irritating. That's all.

The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker

[URL=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

27 Oct 2011

Quote by Dudealicious

I didn't feel the need Rico I was kicked out, thought that was pretty clear in my first post.

Edit: You just said you were kicked out a few posts ago? Now you weren't ummm?

Dammit dude yahtzee's right you find every little detail to nitpick ugh!!! that is what is frustrating. It was not clear to me that you were kicked out I was just trying to be nice. And yes you ass i was kicked out read my fucking post my parents said don't come back until you are normal (meaning until you like girls) Which i already knew i never would I called joey and cried to him for a while and then snuck back into my room.... dammit i don't need to outline my story here in public. I WAS KICKED OUT AKA NOT WELCOME IN MY FUCKING HOME!!!

EDIT: you actually say the words:

Quote by nitpicking asshole
i moved out

not i was kicked out so yeah... you weren't clear.

27 Oct 2011

Quote by Dudealicious
Quote by Yahtzee

you two will argue about anything ....

No it's not arguing, all I see is someone changing the base of their post. To me when it happens too often is a little irritating. That's all.

I think from here on, I will avoid any threads that have either of you both posting on.

I think you both do not like each other, and quite frankly, I find it disgusting how every little comment is blown out of proportion.

Peace KIDS

27 Oct 2011

Quote by Yahtzee

you two will argue about anything ....

well .... back to the original query ... one does what one needs to for their own heart to be happy.

I know of a man, who is gay and married to a lovely lady. He informed her about 10 years into their marriage and 2 kids later. Their marriage is not much different than all those marriages out there where the husband/wife does not leave the marriage because they feel the children will suffer. I don't agree with that line of logic, but it works for them.

I wonder though, if the children will be even more homophobic or upset with what their parents sham of a marriage was, later in their life, when it will eventually come out. Before anyone attacks me on my statement; it's their marriage and they are happy but I think the children will suffer more later when they learn of their parents sacrificing their own happiness for their children.

Peace

that is a very good point. kids suck up what their parents do and it can be very detrimental depending on the role model. amen to that those poor kids. i agree they will suffer more later than they would have if mommy and daddy just split up.

27 Oct 2011

Quote by Yahtzee
Quote by Dudealicious
Quote by Yahtzee

you two will argue about anything ....

No it's not arguing, all I see is someone changing the base of their post. To me when it happens too often is a little irritating. That's all.

I think from here on, I will avoid any threads that have either of you both posting on.

I think you both do not like each other, and quite frankly, I find it disgusting how every little comment is blown out of proportion.

Peace KIDS

sorry to be a child it just drives me crazy that at one moment he seems sweet and understanding and the next he is stabbing me repeatedly in the back. SO AGGRAVATING cussing

27 Oct 2011

it would explain a lot actually....sigh

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. ~Swami X

How would you react if you man told you he was gay