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Why do the nice guys always get passed over when girls are looking for a guy?

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OK, girls why do most girls pass over the nice guy for a bad boy?
Carpe Diem

Red out
Hm...
Don't know... I've always prefered the not so very bad guys.
Infact I've never ever hooked up with an arse...
Though I've always been around the lads and know very little about girls.89rMp0tLpgd4pHyX

Anyhow it might be the fact that the bad boys tell you they'll make your dreams come true while the nice ones say they will try.
:: walks away from this tread like a ticking time bomb ::

Red you must have missed before when someone else brought up this topic or one similar. You won't find a good answer here. You have Landed in the one place in the world where every woman picks the nice guy. Weirdest and hardest to achieve demographic group every. LOL
It's not necessarily that I like "bad" boys but, I like a man that's a real man and not some simpering whiner. He has to have strength of character, muscles in his brain as well as his arms and use both. Never or rarely show fear. If he does something whether right or wrong take responsibility for it. Jesus, I don't have enough room to put all the reasons here.
Thank you all for the replies.
Carpe Diem

Red out
In my opinion, many women want a "bad boy" because it's and "naughty" and it's only meant for a quick fling. They lust over the biker with the long hair, or one with "rough looks". They want to get their jollies and go home.
They also want a good guy for a long-term relationship. It all depends on their maturity and where they are at in life and what they happen to be looking for at that moment.
Hihi
They all have long hair when I leave them and most likely a beard.
I have my standards, if they dont look like it when I meet them they sure
(even though I never try to turn them into it)
all look like members of Dr. Hook, when Im done!
Maybe women with self-esteem issues choose abusive bad boys, because they don't feel like they deserve to be treated any better. Or they could just be after a project and want to see if they can be the first woman to change him.

Bad boys seem like they'd be high maintenance to me, but I haven't been out with one before. Maybe I'm missing out!
I'm with you Lisa.....
"Love all, trust a few, and do wrong to none."
chicks dig bad boys because they want to be the one that changes them...they exciting and non boring etc etc...I've had both bad boys and good boys...the trick is to find a good guy with a hint of wickedness(like mine)
Quote by Loislane
chicks dig bad boys because they want to be the one that changes them...they exciting and non boring etc etc...I've had both bad boys and good boys...the trick is to find a good guy with a hint of wickedness(like mine)


I agree!
Quote by Redwolf
OK, girls why do most girls pass over the nice guy for a bad boy?


are you a nice guy, Red??
Speaking as a "biker" without (it has to be said) long hair, I do not consider myself to be a "bad boy" although I have spent a lot of time around people whom most would associate with that image.

I am wondering if it is the hint of danger, or, IMHO more likely, a tase of the forbidden ? The teenage rebellious streak that affects some of us adults too?
Hello, P4, and welcome.
Quote by chefkathleen
It's not necessarily that I like "bad" boys but, I like a man that's a real man and not some simpering whiner. He has to have strength of character, muscles in his brain as well as his arms and use both. Never or rarely show fear. If he does something whether right or wrong take responsibility for it. Jesus, I don't have enough room to put all the reasons here.


Spot on!!! The nice guys that get overlooked at times.. are sometimes the mousy type... nothing to do with them being too nice.. there's no such thing.. in my opinion anyhow.
A Professional Writer is an amateur who didn't quit"
Quote by Redwolf
OK, girls why do most girls pass over the nice guy for a bad boy?


I'm afraid I'm sometimes guilty as charged for going with the 'bad boy' over the 'nice guy'. It's not that I have an appetite for assholes, or enjoying being treated badly, or fantasize about having a lover with a rap sheet. I prefer none of those things, and in most cases I actively avoid them.

But, smiler's point about the 'mousy guy' is a good one. Also, let me advance the possibility that the nice guys take themselves out of the game through their own words and actions, then when they find themselves treated like a friend instead of a potential lover, they feel sorry for themselves and wonder why I (or any girl, really) went with someone else and can't see them in a romantic light.

I offer a few tips for all the 'nice guys' out there, knowing I may well invite a flame-out from males and females alike, but my disclaimer is that these represent my opinions, not necessarily those of girls in general:

1) Most 'nice guys' understand that girls like to be inquired about, and like to be listened to, it makes us feel special and that our company is worth their time. However, avoid engaging us to talk about ex-boyfriends, what kind of guys we like, what we shop for on the weekends, or generally egging us on to talk about how pissed we are about random friends or co-workers we have. Doing those things are perfectly fine, but by doing so you become just another awesome guy that we know, adding to our evidence that 'guys are so much easier to get along with than girls."

2)On a related subject: avoid talking about your girl/woman troubles. It makes you look indecisive, insecure, and vulnerable, none of which are sexy to women unless they happen to be into submales. It also strips away any mystery about you, and when women look at men for possible dating and/or sex partners, mystery is good. I really can't stress that enough.

3)Trust your instincts. If you think we might respond well to a kiss, or an embrace of our hand, or a gentle arm around the waist, then do it. If you don't, then we can only logically assume you aren't attracted to us, and we won't waste our time wishing for it. Worst case scenario, you get gently rejected, but is that worse than dragging it out over weeks while we only get to the same conclusion: that you're friend material, not dating material? Nice guys everywhere, take heed: you're smarter than you think. Take a chance. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You can take empty solace by rationalizing that you 'respected us too much to be aggressive' but that's usually bullshit, you just chickened out.

That's all for now, i'm sure others may have something to add, but notice that nowhere in there was there anything about treating women badly, or callously. It's more about attitude, mystery, and actions, than it is about how 'nice' you are. Ideally guys have it all, and unless unfortunate baggage in our history gravitates us to abusive relationships, we ladies have no quarrel whatsoever with nice, respectful guys. That might explain the difference between guys' perception and womens' response that OnionTat referred to above.
Bad boys ..umm Some of the Brit here will know who The Kray Twins were...
After being sentenced for life ... they received hundred of letters a day from women
wanting to know them better ...as most convicted killers do ...
But Ronnie was gay!!!
Quote by Loislane
But Ronnie was gay!!!

correct ..but that never stopped the letters arriving
they though they could change him ...
Like the menendez brothers here. One of them ended up getting married in prison.
I find that weird..why would you want to marry someone in prison...people are weird
Quote by lexylove
Quote by Redwolf
OK, girls why do most girls pass over the nice guy for a bad boy?


I'm afraid I'm sometimes guilty as charged for going with the 'bad boy' over the 'nice guy'. It's not that I have an appetite for assholes, or enjoying being treated badly, or fantasize about having a lover with a rap sheet. I prefer none of those things, and in most cases I actively avoid them.

But, smiler's point about the 'mousy guy' is a good one. Also, let me advance the possibility that the nice guys take themselves out of the game through their own words and actions, then when they find themselves treated like a friend instead of a potential lover, they feel sorry for themselves and wonder why I (or any girl, really) went with someone else and can't see them in a romantic light.

I offer a few tips for all the 'nice guys' out there, knowing I may well invite a flame-out from males and females alike, but my disclaimer is that these represent my opinions, not necessarily those of girls in general:

1) Most 'nice guys' understand that girls like to be inquired about, and like to be listened to, it makes us feel special and that our company is worth their time. However, avoid engaging us to talk about ex-boyfriends, what kind of guys we like, what we shop for on the weekends, or generally egging us on to talk about how pissed we are about random friends or co-workers we have. Doing those things are perfectly fine, but by doing so you become just another awesome guy that we know, adding to our evidence that 'guys are so much easier to get along with than girls."

2)On a related subject: avoid talking about your girl/woman troubles. It makes you look indecisive, insecure, and vulnerable, none of which are sexy to women unless they happen to be into submales. It also strips away any mystery about you, and when women look at men for possible dating and/or sex partners, mystery is good. I really can't stress that enough.

3)Trust your instincts. If you think we might respond well to a kiss, or an embrace of our hand, or a gentle arm around the waist, then do it. If you don't, then we can only logically assume you aren't attracted to us, and we won't waste our time wishing for it. Worst case scenario, you get gently rejected, but is that worse than dragging it out over weeks while we only get to the same conclusion: that you're friend material, not dating material? Nice guys everywhere, take heed: you're smarter than you think. Take a chance. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You can take empty solace by rationalizing that you 'respected us too much to be aggressive' but that's usually bullshit, you just chickened out.

That's all for now, i'm sure others may have something to add, but notice that nowhere in there was there anything about treating women badly, or callously. It's more about attitude, mystery, and actions, than it is about how 'nice' you are. Ideally guys have it all, and unless unfortunate baggage in our history gravitates us to abusive relationships, we ladies have no quarrel whatsoever with nice, respectful guys. That might explain the difference between guys' perception and womens' response that OnionTat referred to above.
You have so sussed it, so much better than I ever could have.. haha..
A Professional Writer is an amateur who didn't quit"
Quote by chefkathleen
Like the menendez brothers here. One of them ended up getting married in prison.


Exactly that was still crazy to me....I mean I like a bad boy every now and then but I draw the line at murderers....LOL!


Very well said Lexykins....
"Love all, trust a few, and do wrong to none."
"noone is understanding him."
"there's more to a person than his actions"
"we could be like bonnie and clyde" <----my thoughts xD
The things going on in a womans head when she decides she wants a convicted man is most likely, in my opinion, that she either wants to find out what goes on in that persons mind and her interest in the "dark" side of the humanity makes her think she loves the man, or might aswell cause her to do so in an honest way, or she's tired of living her everyday life with her everyday people, everyday job everyday everything and thinks that if she gets someone who do thoose dangerous things she will be living on the edge and for once feel that she actually is alive.

But, what would I know... *cough* I've never been interested in anyone imprisoned.
Quote by lexylove
3)Trust your instincts. If you think we might respond well to a kiss, or an embrace of our hand, or a gentle arm around the waist, then do it. If you don't, then we can only logically assume you aren't attracted to us, and we won't waste our time wishing for it. Worst case scenario, you get gently rejected, but is that worse than dragging it out over weeks while we only get to the same conclusion: that you're friend material, not dating material? Nice guys everywhere, take heed: you're smarter than you think. Take a chance. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You can take empty solace by rationalizing that you 'respected us too much to be aggressive' but that's usually bullshit, you just chickened out.


Great post, Lexy! I think number three is the most important - confidence.
Lexy wins April's "post of the month" competition thus far
Because the bad boys have hot girlfriends who like to make out while they are dancing in order to turn him on...make out with another girl that is.

Oh sorry, not the answer you are looking for.

Seriously though, I have a great book for you "Meeting the Master" by Elissa Wald. It remains one of my all-time favorite books on submission to this day. The very first story in, "The Initiation" is about a woman who falls in love with a very strong and confident "Nice guy" but half way through she starts to get obsessed with trying to make him be bad. Finally she starts to fall for a bully that her boyfriend is enemies with. What is so fantastic about these stories?

First, there is almost no sex in any of the stories yet I find them extremely erotic.
Second, it's an almost clear window into the mind of a woman who CRAVES submission.

I agree with all the statements in this post but you are all strong, confident, and beautiful women. I would dare to guess that none of you have even a remote problem with finding a man (or woman). If you do it's only because men are morons (no offense)
But, generally speaking, men like submissive women and submissive women, generally speaking, like assholes. Elissa does a fantastic job of opening that mind up to the reader in her stories. I've read her book several times and found myself amazed at her talent and her ability to reach inside that mind and explore all the aspects of submissiveness.

Also watch "The Secretary", another amazing view into the mind of a submissive woman, written by a woman and I think directed by a woman as well. You'll like it, there are boobies in the movie (watches all the men rushing out to netflix).

I feel it's important to note that real submission doesn't mean abuse. It's a horrible world out there for those who think differently. I think that's part of why I like both of the above. Both women ultimately explore what it's like to be submissive in a world that doesn't understand that behavior. I find that both of the above do an excellent job of taking the uninitiated down the confused and often heartbreaking road of a submissive in an abusive and terrifying world.

Anyway, sort of got off topic a little but I think you'll find some answers there.

* bows head and awaits my spanking *
Quote by fetishdoll
* bows head and awaits my spanking *




Good stuff, girlie, and I never miss an opportunity for a good spanking!

Meeting the Master just made the list.

I agree with all the statements in this post but you are all strong, confident, and beautiful women. I would dare to guess that none of you have even a remote problem with finding a man (or woman). If you do it's only because men are morons (no offense)


What?
Quote by roccotool
What

I must have miss something too rocco.
Carpe Diem

Red out