Why do the nice guys always get passed over when girls are looking for a guy?

10 Apr 2009

Sorry I confused you. It's pretty simple, I was talking to the women who have replied to the original post when I said,
"I agree with all the statements in this post but you are all strong, confident, and beautiful women. I would dare to guess that none of you have even a remote problem with finding a man (or woman). If you do it's only because men are morons (no offense)"
They've all said things (hince the "all the statements") that I think are true but they are all strong confident and beautiful women so of course they would be attracted to a strong, confident, and intelligent man. However when it comes to why some women like aggressive and even "bad boys", I thought it would be a good idea to look into the minds of some women who have written about it. SOOOOO, then I went into suggesting the book and movie. I thought it was pretty clear but I guess it wasn't. Sorry I lost ya.

Cheers!

10 Apr 2009

Red, speaking for myself, I am with a bad boy, who is actually on parol from prison right now. Why? You will ask next, but the fact is, that he was nice to me. But he is a bad ass. I think most of what first attracted me to him (besides his looks and not to sound shallow), but was his confidence. He carried himself strong. But yet he does treat me like a princess, so I can say, he is a nice guy too right?? I don't think its the whole acting like a dick to women that attracts them. I think its confidence. You can take an average guy, but if he's got confidence in himself, I'm sure women everywhere are crawling all over him....

I don't know,,,those are just my thoughts...

I'm new to this forum thing, hope didn't offend anyone. I really like it on this site!

hello2

10 Apr 2009

Welcome Jimysgrl and thanks for sharing you make a very interesting point.....confidence is key

hello2

"Love all, trust a few, and do wrong to none."

10 Apr 2009

I agree with Jimysgrl. 'Bad boys' tend to be more confident, sure of themselves, can look after themselves and you. I like to feel protected by my fella. I also like that he sticks out from the crowd, is his own person and doesnt care what others think.

I'm hoping that the guy i'm with at the minute is all these things whilst still being a 'nice guy'. we'll see!

11 Apr 2009

I've dated one great guy, a lil rough around the edges but still a total gentleman, the rest have been jerks in disguise as good guys. I'm not really the thrill seeker or a very daring woman, so dating someone who was that way probably wouldn't be the best thing for me or him. But to be fair I think the reverse happens too, men tend to pass over the nice/good women as well. I was even told one time that I am great wife material but not good girlfriend material. I never understood that (if anyone does please let me know what that means).

Any woman who wants the real deal wont care if the guy is a bad boy or a nice guy she will see him for what he is and be accepting of him, good and bad.

Apple

11 Apr 2009

Quote by AppleOfYourEye
I was even told one time that I am great wife material but not good girlfriend material.

Sounds like code for "you seem eminently strong and stable, but not exciting or edgy enough for me." I don't think I'd be flattered by that sentiment.

11 Apr 2009

If you do it's only because men are morons (no offense)"

Oh, you didn't lose me. It's pretty clear what you think of men.

12 Apr 2009

Quote by chefkathleen
It's not necessarily that I like "bad" boys but, I like a man that's a real man and not some simpering whiner. He has to have strength of character, muscles in his brain as well as his arms and use both. Never or rarely show fear. If he does something whether right or wrong take responsibility for it. Jesus, I don't have enough room to put all the reasons here.

I would have to agree here and also with Rocco's statement that it has alot o do with the woman's maturity. I have been in two bad relationships, both with bad boys. I was young and the sense of danger and that I could change them spurred me on. As I grew up however I learned that the best man is one who knows that a woman wants caring and gentleness sometimes but also knows when to be more aggressive and in control. So maybe it's the women that are being chosen who are the problem. Maybe consider a more mature woman. Lwinking

12 Apr 2009

I want to see Lexy get in the bath with fetishdoll.

12 Apr 2009

12 Apr 2009

Quote by AppleOfYourEye
I was even told one time that I am great wife material but not good girlfriend material. I never understood that (if anyone does please let me know what that means).

As a nice guy. I've been given similar lines. "You'd be a great guy, I feel safe with you" and shit like that. Its always followed by, but you're not right for me. Then she goes to some jackass who doesn't seem to care about her. But any girl that says that still wants to be friends, because they like that I listen to them, and care about them. It seems like they want it both ways. And as the nice guy, I'm supposed to go along with that.

Anyway, thats my rant for this topic.

16 Apr 2009

Thanks everyone

As a nice guy. I'm still confident and out going but the bad boy thing just evades me. I think that people should be who they are and not try to be something they aren't.

Carpe Diem

Red out

16 Apr 2009

Well said, Red.
Though it is always the struggle with knowing who you are.
Especially if your image is that you are what you wanted to be.
"Catnip...stop confusing yourself and others."
"Sorry."

16 Apr 2009

Well if you know who you are and what you are, It makes life worth living, and if others don't like it well it is there loss.

Carpe Diem

Red out

16 Apr 2009

Quote by Redwolf
Well if you know who you are and what you are, It makes life worth living, and if others don't like it well it is there loss.

true dat, never give it up, Red.

17 Apr 2009

Just because a woman has one doesn't mean that she wants another (I'll be nice and say "vagina"). clapping

17 Apr 2009

Quote by fetishdoll
Also watch "The Secretary", another amazing view into the mind of a submissive woman, written by a woman and I think directed by a woman as well. You'll like it, there are boobies in the movie (watches all the men rushing out to netflix).

* bows head and awaits my spanking *

Love that movie....LOL!

ok now bend over.... spank

.....

"Love all, trust a few, and do wrong to none."

17 Apr 2009

Quote by southernman
Just because a woman has one doesn't mean that she wants another (I'll be nice and say "vagina").

Hello southernman and welcome....

Just to understand you completely....Do you mean to say.....Nice guys are pussies?...

"Love all, trust a few, and do wrong to none."

14 Apr 2011

And that,,, maybe hes a badass...lol

I think its pretty simple too, like allot of girls on here are sayin. The bad boys show thraits that evolution has conditioned the female of the sex to seek out unconciously.

Most of these characteristics or qualitites have been explained here.

But I tend to find that its a bit superficially done. It suprises me how many totl fuckwhits who are weak underneath get hot girls just bacuase of a few aparent outward traits.

Well, some girls will just have to deal with the fact that if they cant accomodate some more low level strength characteristics in there selection criteria, when out on the pull. then theyll keep winding up with the same kind of guys. The ones whom turn out to actually be , fukin losers.. lol

thats just what I think...

Squirt is in the eye of the beholder

14 Apr 2011

the bad guysare assholes
nice guys accually care i would take a nice guy in a heartbeat

ask me anythin
tell me your secrets
becuase im here to be somebodys best friend

14 Apr 2011

because they allow it

14 Apr 2011

Nice guys get passed over sometimes. You know who else gets passed over? Dudes who can't spell or make basic sense when they type something out.

14 Apr 2011

Quote by Squirthero
And that,,, maybe hes a badass...lol

I think its pretty simple too, like allot of girls on here are sayin. The bad boys show thraits that evolution has conditioned the female of the sex to seek out unconciously.

Most of these characteristics or qualitites have been explained here.

But I tend to find that its a bit superficially done. It suprises me how many totl fuckwhits who are weak underneath get hot girls just bacuase of a few aparent outward traits.

Well, some girls will just have to deal with the fact that if they cant accomodate some more low level strength characteristics in there selection criteria, when out on the pull. then theyll keep winding up with the same kind of guys. The ones whom turn out to actually be , fukin losers.. lol

thats just what I think...

That is quite the simpleton view of this phenomena which is age old, let's face it. But this is the sad little ballad of the men that get passed over that is sung as they lick their wounds. They want to moan and groan about how that hot, strong, confident man is obviously a "fuckwhit" or a "fukin loser" or the reason they didn't get the girl was because of Darwin and evolution? Giggles. I think the guys that get passed over are the ones that are losers but still full of self importance. What man is going to peg himself as being a second-rate beta chump? they all want to see themselves as the 'top dog' or the 'hero'. And when reality proves them wrong then they will blame it on evolution and how it's the female's faulty thinking for why he was unceremoniously kicked out on his arse. Poor misguided little boys. I do feel sorry for them but the true reality is simple. Some guys are just better than other guys. And if we have the chance of being with a better guy then why wouldn't we? Why drive a Toyota Corolla when you can drive a Corvette? Men upgrade their women all the time but when we do it it must be because of evolution and our penchant for assholes? Giggles. Now that is some funny faulty thinking!

xx B.

14 Apr 2011

Quote by LadyX
Nice guys get passed over sometimes. You know who else gets passed over? Dudes who can't spell or make basic sense when they type something out.

Meeeeeowwww! Teehee.

I think the reality is the 'good guys' seem to fade into the background a bit. I don't go for bad guys personally, not for anything more than the one off fuck anyway.... that's all they're really good for, for me anyway.

But at the end of the day, as long as I feel a guy would be protective of me (and would be able *to* protect me), is nice (in general, not just to me) and has a bit of spontaneity to him then that's fine by me.

What I don't like about guys is when you're out and about and you feel like you're constantly having to keep an eye on them to make sure they don't kick off, I've been with a couple of guys (very briefly I might add haha) who you want to really keep a tight leash on in public....so not worth it. If I want that experience I'll just go get myself a vicious dog silly

15 Apr 2011

Guys without a strong sense of self get passed over. Note this does not mean 'completely selfish' - immature people may confuse the two. Challenge us first - the worship can come later.

Must agree that Secretary is an awesome film and has saved me many an explanation of my preferences, and why.

Stock answer to most forum questions:
Some do, Some don't

Love blindsides us all.

22 Apr 2011

If a guy is looking for a good example of a "bad boy", read Dancing Doll's story The Cabo Connection. Of course, there's few men who can pull off the confident/cocky attitude the bad boy character does in this story, but it gives you a general idea. Notice the bar scene and later scenes. He:

- is not afraid, to use the old cliche, knock the female character off her pedestal
- is not intimidated by her sexuality
- can take it or leave it

22 Apr 2011

I personally like guys who are polite and gentlemanly in public, but dominating when we're alone. So, I don't think you necessarily have to be a 'bad boy' to get a girls attention, but you have to show her that you're willing to take the lead otherwise u'll be seen as shy, unsure of yourself, and unexperienced, and that's just not sexy. smile

22 Apr 2011

Quote by NathanDrake
If a guy is looking for a good example of a "bad boy", read Dancing Doll's story The Cabo Connection. Of course, there's few men who can pull off the confident/cocky attitude the bad boy character does in this story, but it gives you a general idea. Notice the bar scene and later scenes. He:

- is not afraid, to use the old cliche, knock the female character off her pedestal
- is not intimidated by her sexuality
- can take it or leave it

Thanks Nathan! I love that 'character' too. I had the perfect muse. love7

22 Apr 2011

Quote by LadyX
Nice guys get passed over sometimes. You know who else gets passed over? Dudes who can't spell or make basic sense when they type something out.

22 Apr 2011

Quote by LadyX
Nice guys get passed over sometimes. You know who else gets passed over? Dudes who can't spell or make basic sense when they type something out.

No kidding, and...

This was bumped up after two years had passed?

dontknow