Surely most people heard of the Third Date Rule, where sex is expected to happen on the third date.
What's your perspective on the Third Date Rule?
Do you always follow it? Do you only apply it for serious long-term partners? Did some guys ever put pressure to have sex with you before the third date?
Personally, I almost always follow this rule. To me, it removes a lot of pressure/awkwardness during the first two dates where I'm only getting to know the girl and having fun; it also shows the girl I can be a bit patient. If a girl is interested in me and wants to have sex, she'll also simply have to let me invite her on a third date without having an awkward discussion about sex.
At times though, it happened that the infatuation with a girl was rather high and reciprocal, and that the situation allowed us to have sex before the third date. Often times it was unplanned and just happened after a spontaneous kiss.
Also, it can be hard at times to figure out what counts as a date. Sometimes it can take a while before I invite a girl on another date, and almost feels like the 'date counter' has been reset to zero. Other times I can meet the girl with some of her friends, and the date is quite a lot less romantic in those cases. I usually play safe in these situations, and only count true one-on-one dates.
HAHA! I have honestly never heard of it! I guess its sort of like you cant post a pic in the forum until you made 10 posts!
Is there like a 10 date rule for Anal and maybe 25 dates before you should ask to have a threesome? What ever happened to just letting things happen as they happen?
Quote by Nikki703 HAHA! I have honestly never heard of it! I guess its sort of like you cant post a pic in the forum until you made 10 posts!
Is there like a 10 date rule for Anal and maybe 25 dates before you should ask to have a threesome? What ever happened to just letting things happen as they happen?
I'm actually 2 dates away from calling my girl a filthy cunt in public.
Haha, seriously most girls of my age know of this rule where I live. It's not exactly a severe rule/restriction, but more of a general social guideline, just like standing to the right in public staircases.
It's actually quite helpful and convenient:
- As I've mentioned, a lot of pressure is removed from both partners during the first 2 dates. Girls aren't expected to offer sex, and guys shouldn't expect something to happen either.
- It's a lot easier for girls to reject guys if they weren't impressed during the first 2 dates. They simply have to refuse a 3rd date; deal or no deal. No more 'dating endlessly out of pity before having a very awkward conversation'.
- Technically, unless both partners decided to go the 'friends' route, there's rarely any point in waiting more than 3 dates to have sex. At this point, both partners should know if they want sex or not, and they can simply go on with it without any further awkward romantic games.
As I've said previously though, it did happen that I had sex before the 3rd date. The 3rd date is more like a 'deadline' in that sense, where you really should be concerned if nothing happened by then.
I used to follow the third date rule for serious relationship prospects. First date - you get to know each other. Second date - you already know you're into each other so you can delve into things a little more and connect. Third date the guy invites you over to his place where he wants to cook you dinner. The dinner is fantastic, he's at the top of his game, time to get nekkid.
It's not like it *always* happens this way, and maybe it depends more on the way you initially met, but yeah, I'm aware of the third date rule as a general guideline.
Quote by pricklypear 3rd date for SERIOUS relationship prospects? i dunno about all that. but maybe i'm just old fashioned.
i feel it takes months if not years to fully know someone. and even then nothing is set in stone.
but this 3rd date rule sounds like fun. *takes women out on a date 3 days in a row* CHA-CHING!
Yeah, but having sex is part of getting to know someone. Three dates is just to establish whether there's enough chemistry to keep it going. It doesn't guarantee anything, but sort of establishes the situation as having more potential than a one-niter or fuckbuddy if things go well. If all I see is potential for casual hook-ups, I don't need dinner or deep conversations.
You old fashioned pear, you. So, how many dates until you're peeling the fruit?
This was kind of interesting - from the Wiki page on Three-Date Rule
An anonymous poll carried out by msn.match.com among 5,237 singles suggests that in general there is no such rule, judging from the answers to the question, "How many dates does it take before you become intimate?"
One: 12.74%
Two: 24.94%
Three: 21.48%
Four or more: 34.18%
Only after marriage: 6.66%
Unknown User
Now I have heard of the FIRST date rule, lol, but I am old-school. [I like the above answer directly above my post^]
There are NO rules.
Dating is about the person and what they are working at in THAT time in their life... whether a longer courtship of dating & really getting to know someone first, or unbridled passion. or imbetween.
(I have done all of the above at different times). Either way is fine as consenting adults, we all have choices. That "3rd Date" rule is seems strange to me, same with the whole "deadline" thing, either way seems odd to me to try to set a precept standard norm for "everyone" else... I guess I fall as someone imbetween the derisive extremes then.
I have made someone really work for things: old-fashioned & WANTED to not be easy & take time.
I have had wild unexpected/unplanned sex first date.
Each of those ended up in a serious long term relationship (with a ring~kinda thing)
and there have been different things, different times that do not fall in that category.
The ONLY "rules" I know of as far as dating are 'rule of thumb' things like:
Always have a condom/protection...
Wear good/clean undies (my mom- lol)
etc.
I believe it depends on how slow or rapid things progress. There is no definite formula or rules for dating. Personally I'd rather take time to get to know someone a little better and even beyond a third date. Fucking-someone-too-soon might lead to awkward or undesirable consequences. To a woman it might mean a deeper commitment but to the man he might not see it that way or vice versa.
I am very familiar with the Third Date Rule from my single days. To most of the guys it was if you haven't got sex by the third date, it's time to move on.
What Ashleigh said above rings very familiar. I remember cooking my marinated chicken with rice pilaf a few times on either the second or third date, have a bottle of wine. Well, my living room wasn't too inviting (it was also served as the garage for my motorcycle and a kayak hung from the ceiling, not to mention the bench press and weights), my TV was in the bedroom, so that's where we ended up after dinner and the wine was finished. I don't remember watching the TV though.
I didn't go by a formula and quite often sex happened on the first or second date.
I've never heard of that rule, only don't expect sex on the first date with a girl. Well I never expected it but I got it because they wanted to have sex.
As far as gay men are concerned, you know you're going to have sex on the first date, that's why you're on a date! When I was younger, no gay guy is going to get to a third date without sex.
With that rule, I wonder how many times guys only ever went on two dates!
Quote by Buz I am very familiar with the Third Date Rule from my single days. To most of the guys it was if you haven't got sex by the third date, it's time to move on.
What Ashleigh said above rings very familiar. I remember cooking my marinated chicken with rice pilaf a few times on either the second or third date, have a bottle of wine. Well, my living room wasn't too inviting (it was also served as the garage for my motorcycle and a kayak hung from the ceiling, not to mention the bench press and weights), my TV was in the bedroom, so that's where we ended up after dinner and the wine was finished. I don't remember watching the TV though.
I didn't go by a formula and quite often sex happened on the first or second date.
Quote by Nikki703 HAHA! I have honestly never heard of it! I guess its sort of like you cant post a pic in the forum until you made 10 posts!
Is there like a 10 date rule for Anal and maybe 25 dates before you should ask to have a threesome? What ever happened to just letting things happen as they happen?
Yeah! What she said.
If counting dates works for you that's fine, but how about spontaneity? Prior to the sixties there was a rule too....no sex before marriage...I guess that worked for some people. Of course as soon as the pill was developed that rule was out the window....I guess that rule didn't work as well as people thought.
I just think that we could find a way to live without trying to manipulate and/or control everything. The universe is working out as it should, let it. If you don't have sex by the third then what...do you move on?
People are human beings, human beings love to have sex, that's what we do. If you screw, you screw; if you don't, you don't,...what else is there?
Quote by Dancing_Doll This was kind of interesting - from the Wiki page on Three-Date Rule
An anonymous poll carried out by msn.match.com among 5,237 singles suggests that in general there is no such rule, judging from the answers to the question, "How many dates does it take before you become intimate?"
One: 12.74%
Two: 24.94%
Three: 21.48%
Four or more: 34.18%
Only after marriage: 6.66%
WOW! That's a strange statistic for the antisex crew.
3rd date rule sounds like someone made it up to say "fuck me or get lost - those are the rules!"
Geesssssssh. What about doing what come naturally and letting it happen when it happens - safe, sane and consensual.
"Okay, this is our third date, now I've got the condoms. You on the pill? Been checked for STD? I have. You want to fuck now and then go get something to eat (see a movie etc) or eat (whatever first) as long as we both understand that neither one of us goes home without being fucked. Are we clear?"
Quote by Scriptwriter66 3rd date rule sounds like someone made it up to say "fuck me or get lost - those are the rules!"
Geesssssssh. What about doing what come naturally and letting it happen when it happens - safe, sane and consensual.
"Okay, this is our third date, now I've got the condoms. You on the pill? Been checked for STD? I have. You want to fuck now and then go get something to eat (see a movie etc) or eat (whatever first) as long as we both understand that neither one of us goes home without being fucked. Are we clear?"
LOL. That would turn me on so much.
My understanding of it in practice is that it wasn't meant to be compulsory on the third date; it was meant to refrain from having sex until at least the third date, assuming the other person is somebody you'd want to engage in sex with to begin with. I've heard of it but never followed it. I kind of thought it was an antiquated thing, really.
I am like Buz I remember the rule very well from college days too. In fact I had never heard of it before then. In high school if you had been dating awhile and hadn't had sex it was talked about, but not like college.
I remember my first roommate in college was a real believer in it. If he was going out for just a hook-up he prepared...condoms, nice underwear, etc. If he had been dating a girl he really liked he didn't really worry about those things until their 3rd date.
Mind you I haven't dated in years......don't need to.
“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”
I think the 3rd Date Rule is a dumb idea. I've fucked guys on the first date before and others I wouldn't fuck if I went out with them a dozen times (which I never do if they don't turn me on to start with). It doesn't matter what 'number' your on. IF it feels good and you want it, slip your panties down girls and have at it!
I think the 3rd Date Rule is a dumb idea. I've fucked guys on the first date before and others I wouldn't fuck if I went out with them a dozen times (which I never do if they don't turn me on to start with). It doesn't matter what 'number' your on. IF it feels good and you want it, slip your panties down girls and have at it!
Quote by Nikki703 HAHA! I have honestly never heard of it! I guess its sort of like you cant post a pic in the forum until you made 10 posts!
Is there like a 10 date rule for Anal and maybe 25 dates before you should ask to have a threesome? What ever happened to just letting things happen as they happen?
It depends on where you are in life and what you're after. In my younger years, late teens and early twenties, the third date rule was definitely on my mind. And the minds of many of my friends. It wasn't a hard and fast rule, pardon the pun, but is was a consideration. When you're 20 years old and all your friends are getting laid fairly regularly, a guy isn't going to want to spend too much time with someone that isn't putting out. Doesn't make her (or him) a bad person or anything. By the third date you'll have a pretty good idea if and what sexual activity is possible. By then you'll know if she's deeply religious or is waiting for the "right guy" or waiting for a commitment... then you decide to stick around or cut bait.
Later in life, people's wants and needs from a potential relationship are different. By the third date then, you're more interested in if he/she has kids. Has a job, has a home, lives with parents, is a crack head, ever arrested for domestic violence, has a psycho ex....
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
I keep being amazed by the diversity of demographics on LushStories. I swear, most people of my age who are dating actively know of this rule where I live. And I live in a major city which is often featured on top 20 lists for both best nightlife and most beautiful women around the world, so it's really not something I made up with a few of my friends in a small local bar.
As I've said before though, it's really not a cold hard rule which everybody needs to abide to, but more of a social expectation. I don't even remember learning about it myself, but having sex around the 3rd date always felt natural to me, and most people of my demographic would agree that it is the most convenient way to:
- know your partner a little before having sex
- push things a little to make the most out of your dates
- avoid losing time with a person that isn't interested
- tease each other in a fun manner before having sex
- settle a proper situation to have sex
Also, concerning learning about your partner... why would you need to know a person in every details before having sex with him/her? Sex really isn't a huge commitment like it was 50 years ago; it's just a fun activity which sexually active/comfortable people like to engage into to spice up their lives. It's neither a proof of long-term commitment or disrespect toward your partner either.
Learning basic information about a person really doesn't take that much time anyway (eg. job, stability, ambitions, lifestyle, etc.); show me a 10 minutes video of a random guy/girl describing what kind of person he/she is, and I could most probably assess a whole lot about his/her personality and lifestyle. Now, give me the opportunity to interact one-on-one with this person for 2 dates, freely asking him/her any question and observing him/her in public, and I'd have plenty of information to figure out what I would like to do with this person, may that be never seeing each other again, being friends, fucking, or engaging in a more serious relationship.
As many people here also seem to think, this is not just an imposition created by men to force women to have sex with them quickly. Most women of my demographic are quite busy and attractive, and would roll their eyes at a male that didn't try anything with them after 3 dates. If you can't be assertive about what you expect from her fairly quickly... look elsewhere dude. These women aren't exactly interested in a man that brings them flowers for 10 dates before putting sex on the table, no matter what kind of relationship they're after. They often prefer the assertive, busy, available male who proceeds with things rather quickly. Plus, they want to be fucked in a reasonable delay.
About spontaneity... it's a little easier to be 'spontaneous' about sex or to provoke things when both partners are in an intimate setting (ie. apartment/house) than in the middle of city fair, bar or bowling alley. Why would planning things a little and inviting the lady over be such a bad thing?
