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If you had a penis...

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MrMatador
Rookie Scribe
What would you do if you had a penis ?
ToshLoveCC
Active Ink Slinger
If I had one, I would probably lose my job.

I'd be at home, jacking off all day or I'd be sleeping with as many willing women as I could. Creampies galore.


sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
i have one, actually. it's on the wall, mounted and stuffed. let's just say my choice of boyfriends is sometimes suspect.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Unknown User
It's a red 8inch dildo....
Milik_the_Red
Internet Philosopher
Quote by sprite
i have one, actually. it's on the wall, mounted and stuffed. let's just say my choice of boyfriends is sometimes suspect.


You know, sometimes I am not certain you are kidding.
Meggsy
Active Ink Slinger
I would be a man or a she-male.
I would probably use it the same way my three lover boys use theirs.
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by Milik_the_Red


You know, sometimes I am not certain you are kidding.


i never kid.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Guest
Lurker
That thought scares me to death! I'm embarrassed to say that I'd never leave the house because I would be constantly touching it! Does it ever get old?
Guest
Lurker
Thread title sounds like it could be a Peter Paul and mary song.

"...I'd penis in the morning. I'd penis in the evening. All over this land."
Guest
Lurker
I would celebrate. Sometimes having a vagina is hard. You boys are sure missing out. biggrin
Beffer
Rainbow Warrior
Ummm... how big? My answer kinda depends on it!
billy
Active Ink Slinger
oh, Bethany, you know you would have a BIG one
“It's nice sometimes to open up the heart a little and let some hurt come in. It proves you're still alive.”
Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Quote by oceanrunner
Thread title sounds like it could be a Peter Paul and mary song.

"...I'd penis in the morning. I'd penis in the evening. All over this land."


I laughed very loudly at that.
Verbal
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
Well, I have a penis, and I was talking just the other night (after a few beers) about how cool it would be if I had a Theremin for a penis, so that if anyone's hands got near it, it would start making weird sci-fi movie noises.

Yeah, it's kind of off topic. Sorry.
willietongue
Rookie Scribe
if i had a penis i'd fuck myself every day because i'm certainly not giving up my pussy
noll
"insensitive prick!" – Danielle Algo
Quote by Verbal
Well, I have a penis, and I was talking just the other night (after a few beers) about how cool it would be if I had a Theremin for a penis, so that if anyone's hands got near it, it would start making weird sci-fi movie noises.

Yeah, it's kind of off topic. Sorry.


Too bad I couldn't find it, but there's a video of a Goldfrapp concert where Alison Goldfrapp has her theremin between her legs, playing with the flexible antenna as if it where a cock.


===  Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER  ===
HotWife4U
Madam Carol
Well... Maybe I'd get that raise I deserve. Or maybe I'd spend the day jerking off while someone else vacuumed and did the laundry.
Shylywild
Active Ink Slinger
I used to have dreams where I would suddenly discover I had a penis. What would I do? Get a sex change!
honeydipped
The Bee's Knees
i'd want to masturbate, receive a blow job, have sex with a woman and enjoy the convenience of being able to pee standing up.

Say. Her. Name.
puppett
Active Ink Slinger
probably give it away to needy...
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by kiera
I would sit on my arse, hog the remote, drink beer and watch sport.


you already do that...

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Kiera
Short Arse Brit
Quote by sprite


you already do that...


Not me you mean SJ, I drink wine 'I whine when I wear my strap on and I don't watch sport unless its Arsenal, other than that I only watch Masterchef (don't laugh I don't burn everything) or top gear.
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
lynnwitt
Quantum Tease
Got one. I keep it attached to my husband. Kinda handy that way.
Sirene_Jaune
Active Ink Slinger
Take as many pictures of my dick I can and then send it to as many males on Lush.
Unknown User
I would scratch my balls in public