Not like being touched or licked down "there"?
My girlfriend hates it when I try and even touch her and she was like it with her ex too apparently.
One of her friends is the same - she says.
Normal? Anything I can do?
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Quote by hornyinnorwich
Not like being touched or licked down "there"?
My girlfriend hates it when I try and even touch her and she was like it with her ex too apparently.
One of her friends is the same - she says.
Normal? Anything I can do?
Have you considered taking Holy Orders and joining a Monastery?
Failing that, talk to her and try and get her to go with you to a sex therapist. It sounds as if she sees it as dirty and she needs to be convinced it's not.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by hornyinnorwich
Not like being touched or licked down "there"?
My girlfriend hates it when I try and even touch her and she was like it with her ex too apparently.
One of her friends is the same - she says.
Normal? Anything I can do?
Was she molested when she was a child? This maybe why she is like this, as it is not natural.VMF5MTB8RgUAcogq
Active Ink Slinger
Wow... I was never molested as a child and I didn't need therapy (well okay, maybe I did but that's a WHOLE 'nother story)
But I did date a guy once that was too rough.
As in alligator skin on his hands. And I swear I thought he was drilling for oil with his tongue.
I tried to talk to him about it, but some men are very insecure about this kind of thing (and maybe I wasn't clear enough) so instead of taking it as constructive criticism, it turned into a huge fight over the fact I wasn't happy with his cunnilingustic skills.
After awhile, I just said I didn't like it, because let's face it. I didn't.
But I did date a guy once that was too rough.
As in alligator skin on his hands. And I swear I thought he was drilling for oil with his tongue.
I tried to talk to him about it, but some men are very insecure about this kind of thing (and maybe I wasn't clear enough) so instead of taking it as constructive criticism, it turned into a huge fight over the fact I wasn't happy with his cunnilingustic skills.
After awhile, I just said I didn't like it, because let's face it. I didn't.
Quote by TheDevilsWeakness
Wow... I was never molested as a child and I didn't need therapy (well okay, maybe I did but that's a WHOLE 'nother story)
But I did date a guy once that was too rough.
As in alligator skin on his hands. And I swear I thought he was drilling for oil with his tongue.
I tried to talk to him about it, but some men are very insecure about this kind of thing (and maybe I wasn't clear enough) so instead of taking it as constructive criticism, it turned into a huge fight over the fact I wasn't happy with his cunnilingustic skills.
After awhile, I just said I didn't like it, because let's face it. I didn't.
Don't think it's my skin. I work in a office so have baby smooth hands. Maybe that's it , they are too smooth as her ex was a gardener and had rough hands.
I'm certainly not going to leave her over it as some people have said I should do. I love her to bits .
Head Nurse
Quote by TheDevilsWeakness
Wow... I was never molested as a child and I didn't need therapy (well okay, maybe I did but that's a WHOLE 'nother story)
But I did date a guy once that was too rough.
As in alligator skin on his hands. And I swear I thought he was drilling for oil with his tongue.
I tried to talk to him about it, but some men are very insecure about this kind of thing (and maybe I wasn't clear enough) so instead of taking it as constructive criticism, it turned into a huge fight over the fact I wasn't happy with his cunnilingustic skills.
After awhile, I just said I didn't like it, because let's face it. I didn't.
Similar experience here. Most men are "touchy" about their belief in their own oral ability. Many times its a LOT easier to say I don't like it, then to say, "Darling, I love you , but you suck."
Quote by naughtynurse
Similar experience here. Most men are "touchy" about their belief in their own oral ability. Many times its a LOT easier to say I don't like it, then to say, "Darling, I love you , but you suck."
Ok, guy perspective - it is really easy, really easy to get defensive. At the same time, if the communication is two-way, AND, both partners are really interested in what makes the other go "ballistic", well then, WOW...get ready for fireworks. Lovers giving have to be able to focus on the one that they are pleasing, not just getting hot and bothered by the moment (that's important, too, but shouldn't be the primary...it will happen anyway).
Mazztastic
I don't know your or your girlfriend's history, but I did look at your profile and I did notice that you are British.
As a fellow Brit, I'd like to tentatively put forth a theory..
We are not generally an especially sexual nation - brought up to believe that sex is bad and dirty - sometimes women are conditioned to believe that sex is perfunctory - purely to reproduce or to sate their partner at the weekends. I'm not saying that this is the case specifically with your girlfriend, but it IS endemic in this green and pleasant land.
I know that there is plenty which I could never discuss with my "regular" friends - they would most likely think that I am a pervert for writing erotica here and would find it it difficult to understand why I am on Lush ,if they could understand at all.
It could be just as simple as the fact that she doesn't know any different and that oral sex is a "dirty" thing in her mind - in which case you can respect her preconceptions, or you can communicate and work together to change them.
There are of course other factors which could be taken into consideration - perhaps she is inexperienced sexually - worried about things like scent/taste/appearance of her body and genitalia. Who knows what her journey is up until this point - it's really very common for girls to be told that they aren't good looking or worth anything - this is all stuff that can be worked on though, with counseling, therapy... whatever.
I don't know what age you or your girlfriend are, but another potential factor that could be taken into consideration would be if she has had children - women's bodies can change dramatically (to them) after giving birth - of course, that can be a very personal thing and mothers will worry about a change in appearance/taste etc...
Also (and I've posted about this more than once) it's my experience that some of the men I've been with tend not to have been very skilled at performing cunnilingus - no offence and this isn't a slight towards you or anyone else, but as some of my comrades have already mentioned, sometimes it's easier to just say you don't like oral, rather than receive poor quality...
I think that (again as others have said) you need to communicate with your partner, talk about why there's a problem. Explain that it's something you'd really like to do for her, how it makes you feel, why you desire it - let her understand that you find her attractive "down there", encourage her to start to shed her inhibitions...
Maybe there's more to it - she may have a history which means that oral is something that disturbs her, or she simply doesn't like it, but at least if the two of you can talk to each other about it, gently and at a pace she's comfortable with, then you are standing yourself in good stead to be able to work through this together and find a solution that suits you both...
I commend you for wanting to work it through and I wish you both the very best!!
As a fellow Brit, I'd like to tentatively put forth a theory..
We are not generally an especially sexual nation - brought up to believe that sex is bad and dirty - sometimes women are conditioned to believe that sex is perfunctory - purely to reproduce or to sate their partner at the weekends. I'm not saying that this is the case specifically with your girlfriend, but it IS endemic in this green and pleasant land.
I know that there is plenty which I could never discuss with my "regular" friends - they would most likely think that I am a pervert for writing erotica here and would find it it difficult to understand why I am on Lush ,if they could understand at all.
It could be just as simple as the fact that she doesn't know any different and that oral sex is a "dirty" thing in her mind - in which case you can respect her preconceptions, or you can communicate and work together to change them.
There are of course other factors which could be taken into consideration - perhaps she is inexperienced sexually - worried about things like scent/taste/appearance of her body and genitalia. Who knows what her journey is up until this point - it's really very common for girls to be told that they aren't good looking or worth anything - this is all stuff that can be worked on though, with counseling, therapy... whatever.
I don't know what age you or your girlfriend are, but another potential factor that could be taken into consideration would be if she has had children - women's bodies can change dramatically (to them) after giving birth - of course, that can be a very personal thing and mothers will worry about a change in appearance/taste etc...
Also (and I've posted about this more than once) it's my experience that some of the men I've been with tend not to have been very skilled at performing cunnilingus - no offence and this isn't a slight towards you or anyone else, but as some of my comrades have already mentioned, sometimes it's easier to just say you don't like oral, rather than receive poor quality...
I think that (again as others have said) you need to communicate with your partner, talk about why there's a problem. Explain that it's something you'd really like to do for her, how it makes you feel, why you desire it - let her understand that you find her attractive "down there", encourage her to start to shed her inhibitions...
Maybe there's more to it - she may have a history which means that oral is something that disturbs her, or she simply doesn't like it, but at least if the two of you can talk to each other about it, gently and at a pace she's comfortable with, then you are standing yourself in good stead to be able to work through this together and find a solution that suits you both...
I commend you for wanting to work it through and I wish you both the very best!!
