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16 Things Your Boyfriend Should be Telling You

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I saw this and gave it a read...

Thought I'd share it with you gals.

Mark Radcliffe reminds us of the importance of communicating love

—-

Dear Ladies Who Are On The Fence About Whether Or Not to Dump The Guy Who’s Taking You For Granted: here’s what you should be hearing from the guy who’s worthy of your time. Maybe not right away, but within, say, 3-6 months. Otherwise, hit the “next” button. For the sake of both you and all the guys out there who are waiting for you to be single again.

1) I adore you. This isn’t about sex, this isn’t about desire. This is about how you make me glow whenever you walk into a room, glad that you just exist, whether I’m the guy beside you or just someone admiring you from twenty feet away.

2) You inspire me. I love how you’re living your life, what you’re devoting yourself to, how you’re spending your time, what path you’ve chosen, how you deal with the people around you.

3) I respect you. You’re the first person I think of when I want a serious opinion on something. Anything. From topics like “Am I being an asshole here?” to “Which is better, MadMen or Breaking Bad?”

4) I just love kissing you. Ok, so, years from now, if by some awful paragliding accident we both end up paralyzed and have no use of our lower extremities and can never get it on again, I’ll still feel pretty good about it as long as I can just kiss you as much as I want.

5) I don’t want to change you. Yes, there are some things about you that I don’t get. That I don’t love. But you’re you. And all the other stuff that comes with you, I would never want to lose. So I don’t want to disturb the equation. I want to keep it intact. And just help it grow.

6) I accept your drama. Sure, you’ve got some anger issues with your mom. Or dad. Or sister. Or job that you’re trying to get out of. I can handle that, even when it’s a bit exhausting. I even support it. None of us is drama-free, me especially. I respect that you’re fighting against something.

7) I’ve totally got the hots for you. As in: seriously, can we get these clothes off already? I’m dying here. We should really find our way to the nearest bedroom. Or kitchen. Or rooftop.

8. I love that you tell me off sometimes. Seriously. I may not always admit it, but I respect it. I’m full of bullshit sometimes, and I like to know you won’t take it. If I’m gonna have someone by my side, I better know she didn’t just fall for the first guy that came along, and she’ll keep holding me to my higher standards. I don’t want a pushover.

9. You’re on my mind. Constantly. Especially when I’m supposed to be thinking about something else. When I’m at work, giving a presentation, watching a movie with my buds. There you are, all in the middle of my shit, outta nowhere. And yet, I can’t help but smile.

10. You captivate me. You have my full attention. I’m not thinking about her. Or her. Or her. Just you. Oh, and that presentation I have this week. And my taxes that are due. But mostly just you.

11. I forgive you. The other day, you were completely crazy. Seriously, you went off the deep end about something. You blamed me for something I didn’t do, or didn’t actually say, or didn’t actually think. But hey, you’re human, you’re allowed a ‘gimme’ now & then. (As am I.) And look, with all the beauty you bring to my life, I’m still coming out way ahead.

12. I love you. Sorry to get all heavy on you, but it’s true. While the last guy you dated for three years could never say it, I’m telling you now: I love you. You’re wonderful. I want to be more like you. I want others to be more like you. I want whatever kids we might hypothetically have together to be like you. You’re my idea of a fantastic person. I want to help you be as ‘you’ as possible.

13. I can’t stop talking about you. You’re not some little secret I keep. Or hide. You’re my favorite thing on the planet. I told my mom about you before we even had our first date. I told my buddies about you immediately after our first date (didn’t wanna jinx it). You’re a story I could tell over and over and over again.

14. I see my future with you. Sure, I may not say this right away—I mean hopefully I won’t say this right away, for fear of scaring you off—but I’m thinking about it. We men, we can be planners, we can project, we can get ahead of ourselves. And me? I wanna get ahead of myself with you.

15. I just need to hold you. I may not always feel like having sex. I may not always feel like kissing. But I just need to be kinda near you. Be next to you. Be unable to lay away from you on the bed without wrapping myself around you. I don’t even understand it, frankly, but I do. So accept it, please. It’s something that something inside of me knows I need.

16. Thank you. For existing. For being you. For having your smile. For having the laugh that you do. For laughing at the things you do. For not laughing at the things you think are too stupid. For having a point of view and a strong sense of self. For wearing that amazing skirt the day I met you. For not wearing it when I introduced you to my mom. For having your standards. For getting pissed off when something matters. For showing your appreciation when you see beauty. For just existing. Seriously, I may never even get a chance with you, and if so, so be it. I’m just glad the universe made you. It makes me feel a lot better about the place I live in. But, barring that, come here please. I need to kiss you now. And for a while after that.


Taken from here (which looks like an interesting wee site)

http://goodmenproject.com/
Has any man ever passed that test? I believe in romance but isn't it a little bit too gushing?
Quote by dpw
Has any man ever passed that test? I believe in romance but isn't it a little bit too gushing?


The things on this list aren't that hard, actually. Especially in comparison to some other sappy things I've read that are just far-fetched and over the top.

Actually, in going though this list I was smiling like a complete doof because I receive all of it on more than a regular basis...and a majority of it on a daily basis.

I also reciprocate.

░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░


Quote by Mazza
I saw this and gave it a read...

Thought I'd share it with you gals.



Taken from here (which looks like an interesting wee site)

http://goodmenproject.com/


WTF I've been robbed my whole life, this Maz is now officially my bible i'll settle for nothing less now.
The Duchess of Tart

Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx

And my latest poem, The Temptation.

https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
i need to put my boots on for this thread.
Quote by Mazza
I saw this and gave it a read...

Thought I'd share it with you gals.



Taken from here (which looks like an interesting wee site)

http://goodmenproject.com/


The same goes for guys thinking of girls, and fortunately I have found one.
“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you."
Quote by Mazza
I saw this and gave it a read...

Thought I'd share it with you gals.



Taken from here (which looks like an interesting wee site)

http://goodmenproject.com/


I get to hear a few of these. But I'm still going to post it on the fridge to hear some more!
That's a very good list - I think most people would be looking for all of that in a relationship. I love that you tell me off sometimes...I don’t want a pushover. (Keep that bit a secret)
Quote by dpw
Has any man ever passed that test? I believe in romance but isn't it a little bit too gushing?


No, not too gushing, it depends how it's said and by whom. I don't think anyone would say these things by rote, but to say them in your own way... Well, that's different, isn't it?

I think that it's just food for thought, but how wonderful it is to know that you're held in such high esteem by your SO?

Sometimes it's easy to take people, whom we care about, for granted or to feel neglected. Sometimes we just assume that our partner "knows" how we feel, when in fact, they may not. It's good to check in sometimes, just make sure...

It should go both ways, of course...
Quote by kiera


WTF I've been robbed my whole life, this Maz is now officially my bible i'll settle for nothing less now.


16 reasons a guy would say these
1. I want sex
2. I want sex
3. I want sex
4. I want sex
5. I want sex
6. I want sex
7. I want sex
8. I want sex
9. I want sex
10. I want sex
11. I want sex
12. I want sex
13. I want sex
14. I want sex
15. I want sex
16. I WANT SEX and I'll say anything you want to get it!
Quote by dpw


16 reasons a guy would say these
1. I want sex
2. I want sex
3. I want sex
4. I want sex
5. I want sex
6. I want sex
7. I want sex
8. I want sex
9. I want sex
10. I want sex
11. I want sex
12. I want sex
13. I want sex
14. I want sex
15. I want sex
16. I WANT SEX and I'll say anything you want to get it!


Not ALL guys are that shallow dwp, but thanks for your special insight, hardly a surprise
It's a lovely list Maz... and yes to go both ways, life would be perfect, but then I check through and well.... enough said.
M'Lady has heard all of those in one way or another from me multiple times in our decade plus together.

I agree that if you do love your partner, they should hear these often - but don't just say it, mean it, let it flow from your heart
Interesting scf-fi article.
{allba115-feed-5eed-facedeadbeef}
Quote by JasonM
but don't just say it, mean it, let it flow from your heart


This is the important part.

Too many women say "I Love You", paying it lip service, whilst not doing the things they should for their men.
{allba115-feed-5eed-facedeadbeef}
I suppose if you really love her those things should come natural. But then again, what do i know about love
Quote by paul_moadib


This is the important part.

Too many women say "I Love You", paying it lip service, whilst not doing the things they should for their men.


What does that mean? "Not doing the things they should"?
Who said romance was dead.
What woman wouldn't want to hear these examples from their men but we all know men do not reveal their feelings very easily.
Women on the other hand have no problem telling them how it is.

To paul_moadib, your very cynical if you feel women pay you "lip service"
Quote by Anastasia111
Who said romance was dead.
What woman wouldn't want to hear these examples from their men but we all know most men do not reveal their feelings very easily.
Women on the other hand have no problem telling them how it is.

To paul_moadib, your very cynical if you feel women pay you "lip service"


M'dear, a minor edit applied.

There are those of us who are not reticent in showing how we feel.
Quote by Mazza


What does that mean? "Not doing the things they should"?



I believe the word left out is: RECIPROCATION or possibly, appreciation. In short, some of us DO those things and say those things however the woman we have had the misfortune of loving wasn't in search of ACTUAL love, she was in NEED of the same abuse her mother mistook for love. (Read the book "Men Who Hate Women and The Women Who Love Them"; a friend gave it to me to help me understand that the things in said list AREN'T always what every woman WANTS in a relationship, some have twisted perspectives that lead to twisted NEEDS. Just as men are raised to BE abusers many women are raised to WANT TO BE victims of abuse. Before the rocks start flying, go read the book and argue with the author.
Quote by Wardog



I believe the word left out is: RECIPROCATION or possibly, appreciation. In short, some of us DO those things and say those things however the woman we have had the misfortune of loving wasn't in search of ACTUAL love, she was in NEED of the same abuse her mother mistook for love. (Read the book "Men Who Hate Women and The Women Who Love Them"; a friend gave it to me to help me understand that the things in said list AREN'T always what every woman WANTS in a relationship, some have twisted perspectives that lead to twisted NEEDS. Just as men are raised to BE abusers many women are raised to WANT TO BE victims of abuse. Before the rocks start flying, go read the book and argue with the author.


His post said nothing of reciprocation, it alluded to duty rather than an equal or balanced relationship.

My original post had nothing to do with abuse or abusive relationships, or indeed your ability, or lack thereof, to find a mutually loving and healthy relationship.

It was merely a suggestion (from a man no less) on ways to make your partner feel loved, respected and appreciated (and yes, that goes both ways, but women do seen to find it easier than their fellow man to express their feelings and emotions)

This thread was not an invitation to discuss abuse, rather more of an observation and perhaps an invitation to our loved ones to enter into a healthy discussion of our feelings for one another.

Wardog, I would invite you to take this deeper discussion to the think tank...
Anastasia writes: ".... but we all know men do not reveal their feelings very easily.
Women on the other hand have no problem telling them how it is."

PLEASE understand that what you have written can also be applied the other direction. Men do have feelings also and can be deeply ... maybe even permanently ... hurt by a hurtful comment casually tossed about.

MAZZA: Thank you for putting this up here in the forum. I skimmed over the website and have bookmarked it.
Quote by Mazza


What does that mean? "Not doing the things they should"?


I think he meant...


Quote by Dancing_Doll


I think he meant...




So unlike me, I politely skipped around that, but I kinda think you hit it on the head there ;)
Quote by Mazza


His post said nothing of reciprocation, it alluded to duty rather than an equal or balanced relationship.

My original post had nothing to do with abuse or abusive relationships, or indeed your ability, or lack thereof, to find a mutually loving and healthy relationship.

It was merely a suggestion (from a man no less) on ways to make your partner feel loved, respected and appreciated (and yes, that goes both ways, but women do seen to find it easier than their fellow man to express their feelings and emotions)

This thread was not an invitation to discuss abuse, rather more of an observation and perhaps an invitation to our loved ones to enter into a healthy discussion of our feelings for one another.

Wardog, I would invite you to take this deeper discussion to the think tank..



Thanks for the invitation, and pardon me for interjecting my thoughts on the matter. What would I know I'm just a man who referred to a book by a female author.
Quote by Wardog


Thanks for the invitation, and pardon me for interjecting my thoughts on the matter. What would I know I'm just a man who referred to a book by a female author.


Your thoughts had nothing to do with the thread though, that was the point I was making...

Please don't get all passive aggressive and make out as though I'm chiding you here...
My goodness...who knew a thread that was simply about love and appreciation could bring about such bitterness and cynicism?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I hear all of this and more on a regular basis, and sex has nothing to do with it.

And I also don't hesitate to reciprocate. A guy can love and appreciate his lady without wanting sex out of the deal.

░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░


Quote by slipperywhenwet2012


The things on this list aren't that hard, actually. Especially in comparison to some other sappy things I've read that are just far-fetched and over the top.

Actually, in going though this list I was smiling like a complete doof because I receive all of it on more than a regular basis...and a majority of it on a daily basis.

I also reciprocate.



This!!

I like that this isn't all nicey nice stuff. Don't get me wrong, I love when he blows flower-scented smoke up my ass, but it also needs to be realistic. I've recently come out of a long, unhappy marriage, and I'm glad I'm not as cynical as some of the people in this thread.

When you find the right person, I don't think this list is too much to give or receive at all. These items all seem to be a given.
Quote by Mazza


What does that mean? "Not doing the things they should"?


Sorry if this sounded a bit harsh - that was not my intention.

I noticed a claim that "women find it easier to express their feelings and emotions". Whilst this might be true, what makes women think this is useful to men?

A woman can skip the 1000 I love you's and be a whore in the bedroom and cook me a decent meal once in a while. I'd trade all the spoken I love you's for that, because in her doing so, I KNOW she loves me. She doesn't need to say it.

I prefer to DO the things my wife likes and infrequently tell her I love her, as I prefer not to wear those words out.
{allba115-feed-5eed-facedeadbeef}
Quote by paul_moadib


Sorry if this sounded a bit harsh - that was not my intention.

I noticed a claim that "women find it easier to express their feelings and emotions". Whilst this might be true, what makes women think this is useful to men?

A woman can skip the 1000 I love you's and be a whore in the bedroom and cook me a decent meal once in a while. I'd trade all the spoken I love you's for that, because in her doing so, I KNOW she loves me. She doesn't need to say it.

I prefer to DO the things my wife likes and infrequently tell her I love her, as I prefer not to wear those words out.


Useful to men? Lol

Well, I think you'll find that it's a good indicator of how she feels about you, herself and also the relationship, and while these things might not be useful to you, what makes you think it's healthy for us to think guys don't want to hear it? That's where problems arise, when things get bottled up and end up erupting...

I'm sure that in "doing" you feel you're expressing your love for your partner, but for me personally, I need some emotional and intellectual nurturing and stimulation too.

I don't want to hear empty "I love yous" all the time, but the thread wasn't just about that. It was about expressing one's feelings and desires, that's all. It's not your bag, I get it, but it shouldn't detract from anyone else's needs/wants/opinions and quite frankly, I think it's much healthier to express oneself.