Hello,
Not sure how common it is to ask for elevator-pitch help (and I hope I'm doing it in the right forum), but I wanted to test a draft of mine before posting the story. Is it too much? Too clunky? Hook you at all? For context, it's a paranormal romance of what could be novel-length, but for now I'm just posting the first "episode" to see if I should pursue it.
Pitch:
After relocating to launch his firm’s new location, a single father finds himself blackmailed, forced to juggle his teenage daughter, her minxy mother, and work while subservient to the girl across the cul-de-sac.
Thanks,
Kelvin Watt
You know, Kevin, there's little downside to just posting the story, letting people know it's your first, and asking for feedback.
That's what I did, and after getting encouragement, I've written lots more, and now really enjoy reading the comments-- good or bad.
Give it a shot!!
Dave
I'm with bagdaddy. Let the first episode or two into the wild and the Lush community will give you the feedback. Your elevator pitch looks solid and ambitious. Sounds like you could have lots of balls in the air so you just need to be careful not to drop any. Good luck!
I agree with the other posters. Submit the story. Let it clear, let it be posted, learn from the result. You can always kill it (delete it) later, if need be.
With mine, I always take the attitude of "this is maybe probably definitely terrible, but eh, it's done". And it has worked out okay, in my case. Good luck!
Want to spend some time wallowing in a Recommended Read? Pick one! Or two! Or seven!
I guess Kelvin is no longer with us. All I can get is the website's error message of '404 - Page not found'. That's to bad, because from his brief description, it sounded as if he had the basis for a very good story.
If you're feeling bored during this Covid-19 epidemic I’d like to suggest
you take a peek at a story I collaborated with SueBrasil, a brilliant author.
It's about a mistake in judgment a lady makes concerning a friend, based
on the hurtful words of someone that only thinks of himself. Will that
conniving person succeed in ruining a beautiful friendship, or will she see
through his lies? It's gradually creeping up towards the 30,000 mark
and we’d love any votes or hearing whatever comments you may wish
to make. It is listed in my profile under ‘FAVOURITES’ as Apologize.
www.lushstories.com/stories/first-time/apologize.aspx interesting. Didn't seem like a spammer or troll and the posts under him were all pretty encouraging.
I've found that most readers on this site are pretty generous with their voting and comments.
I'm also on another, bigger site where there is some harsh criticism. But that's not so bad; sometimes I learn from critics although I may not recognize it right away. Sometimes it's the subject matter, not the quality of the writing, that bugs them.
And if the readers do like it a lot, then you know know you have something good going. You've won over some skeptical strangers.
I like the pitch, especially the part about the minxy Mom. Did you write it?
