I have a theory that nothing kills a story stone dead like an excess of detail, not only in erotica, but in fiction generally. For example:
'Walking down the street where Aunt Agatha lived, Billy saw a hippo, and on the back of the hippo stood a seagull, of which his closer inspection revealed that that fine avian specimen was host to a throngs of fleas embedded deep within its plumage ...'
I only need to know that Billy walked down the street and arrived at Aunt Agatha's house for tea. And you can probably skip the walking part.
Now, in sex scenes, I see a lot of:
'Susan took Mark's cock out of her mouth and manoeuvred herself around so that he was directly between her butt cheeks and guided it home with one quick thrust of her cocked elbow as Mark grabbed her breasts and squeezed one nipple while circling the other in an anticlockwise motion that would tease the most dedicated Swiss horologist ...'
Jesus wept. How much choreography do you need? What bothers me is that erotica is obviously focused on sex, but isn't the act itself mostly banal? How do you go about rendering sex in a way which gives the reader what they want, in full, but without mithering them with a bunch of over-choreographed stage-direction? How do you get into it without the writing starting to look like an instruction manual? Or like fleas on seagulls on hippos?
For me, the best sex - and the best fiction - comes from intrigue, conflict, problems that need to be solved. Surely it's the tension, the uncertainty about what the characters' motives are, and whether they'll get what they want, that is the driving force of good fiction?
So, what do you think?
I hate to say something so wishy-washy, but I think there's a balance.
And there's also a range of what makes a successful story a successful story, depending on what it's trying to do and who it's meant for. Sometimes a reader just wants porn and is reading w one hand. In that case, more detail might be appreciated.
Other times, it may well be just too much.
I'm guessing that one end of the spectrum could be thousands of words of tension and build-up, leading up to: "and then they went to bed and had passionate sex. The End." And I imagine that won't be to too many people's liking, especially on a sex stories site.
As a reader here, and also a writer, I've both read and written countless variations of the basic configurations, and even some not-so-basic ones. I come back to those authors whose use of language, tension, set-up, plot etc., appeal to me. Personally, though, these stories still have to have some "red meat" for me to really like them.
On the whole, though, I think you're right that the mechanics won't be interesting unless there's something there to draw you in to the action, something that has made you interested in what the characters are doing.
i'm too distracted by how pretty the OP's avatar is. wow.
I've edited for a lot of inexperienced writers trying to get stories posted here, and I usually have to whittle down these excessive descriptive details all the time—too many conjunctions, comma splices, clauses, and run-on sentences. Simplicity is elegance.
...and Hannah's right! Your avatar is gorgeous! :-)
Hey Cheryl I remember you posted before- is writing erotica worth it financially etc x just do it. Take a chance and post something here. The feedback you’ll get is worth more than worrying about money or theories about details for now. I want to read what’s buzzing in your mind to ask these questions so before I ask Browncoffee to hassle you? Write for the fun of it. Wank fodder or serious buildup works as long as the writer hooks me in.
There for a minute I thought is less is more then ive got it made, but unfortunately youre not talking size
Back to the subject... lots of detail is great IF IT'S RELEVANT. If it's not, it's just annoying waffle that the reader will skip anyway. And no, the detail doesn't always have to be about the sex.
"So, I was talking to my wife three weeks ago in our kitchen. No, wait, it was in the living room. So, anyway, she said. Wait, no, it was really a whole month ago, but anyway, she said. No wait, I said something first, I think, but, anyway that doesn't matter. What she said was. Oh, now I forget, but it was cute."
What details matter? What details help tell the story you're trying to tell? That is the question you ask yourself as you write. If you have readers coming back for more you might have gotten the balancing act right.
I go on for a lot of description on certain type of stories. On silly ones, I let the chips fall where their may. I write for my own entertainment and if a few like it, I'm better for it. I'm not gifted. I just breathe a different air.
Description and detail, in my opinion, are two of the essential features of a good story. If I read "Lauren was hot...." And the rest of Lauren is left to our imaginations, I tend to switch off. The trick is to include enough detail and description to capture the reader's imagination - to take the reader into a far-off exotic land, for instance, or into a situation in which the reader would seldom if ever find themselves. Where some authors go astray is to replace plot and action with narrative - "Lauren undressed, and then got into bed. She then spread her legs and then licked her fingers and then...." If this trail of narrative gets us nowhere, there is no point to it. Give me detailed sensual description any day.
This thread really concerns two recognised author’s rules - Show don’t tell, and Depth and detail. Below, the first line is purely tell without any real depth or description. The second is show with flesh added.
1 - Janet woke up and turned over in the big bed. She saw that Andrew had gone and wondered when he’d got up.
2 - Janet stirred, rubbed sleep from her eyes. Resisting the temptation to stay snuggled in the warmth of the large bed, she stretched out an arm. The bedsheet was cold beneath her warm hand and she slowly turned her head. Andrew wasn’t there. She hadn’t felt him move. When did he go?
It’s easy (and boring) to write: She had blonde hair that fell to her shoulders, curves in all the right places with 36B cup breasts, a pert ass, and endless long legs. A skilful writer will describe that same person as the story and character evolves (hopefully not mentioning exact cup size!). For example, Flicking her blonde hair off her shoulders….that’s show and description.
I enjoy writing about head-space much more than external drama, conflict, and plot-points (etc). I write in order to explore the internal desires and conflicts, the nervousness and urges coming unhinged . . . in great and complex detail. I love details, but I carefully control what I detail and how thorough I am. I've learned when to curb it, when to indulge, when to cut the fluff. My details are about awareness and finding what little, subtle things are there between two or more people.
