How do you politely tell someone (a family member at that), you didn't like the book they raved about, and then offered to you as a gift, without sounding like a terrrible person who is putting their literary taste and choice of gifts into question?
Or do you not care, and just say you didn't think it was that great, thanks very much, please offer chocolates next time around?
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"Thanks for the book recommendation, but I really didn't like it."
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Active Ink Slinger
if you care to keep sharing in this way, tell the truth and if it's not important just say thanks : )
Torture the data long enough and they will confess to anything.
Wild at Heart
I believe that some things should just be kept to yourself. No need to hurt anyone's feelings. They made an effort to get something for you. Why make them feel bad for it?
Active Ink Slinger
I try to be honest but also avoid hurting people's feelings.
I think I would say something along the lines of..."It was okay, just not really my style. But thanks for thinking of me."
I think I would say something along the lines of..."It was okay, just not really my style. But thanks for thinking of me."
Quote by gypsymoth
Exactly, I don't want to hurt her feelings, but she does like to discuss books with me, and it was nice of her to give it.
I need to come up with something neutral, but still say something good about it.
I don't know..if she like to discuss books with you there must be a reason, I assume it is not because you agree with her when debate is on.
I would tell her inderectly through discussion about that book, ask her why did she like it and tell her why you don't. She is adoult, she will understand that diferences between taste do exist.
That is how I do it, gently as part of debate about book.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by gypsymoth
Exactly, I don't want to hurt her feelings, but she does like to discuss books with me, and it was nice of her to give it.
I need to come up with something neutral, but still say something good about it.
Well, I'm sure there's something nice you can say about the book even if you didn't like it. But you can't rave about it too much or this person will keep getting you books. And we can't have that!
Active Ink Slinger
If I had already read the book and didn't like it, I would probably accept the gift anyway. I don't have what it takes to turn down gifts. If I hadn't read it I would try reading it, but if I couldn't I'd just tell the person I couldn't get into it. I could always find someone to give a book too, or give it to the local library for the book sale.
"Happiness is doing it rotten your own way."Isaac Asimov (1994)
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
I agree with She...if you don't say that it was not your style, or in some way make it clear that you did not care for it that much, you run the risk of getting more books you really don't like...
A bad situation could get a lot worse...
A bad situation could get a lot worse...
You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
Active Ink Slinger
Darn, it seems like you all fret too much about other people's feelings when, maybe, just maybe, the person was hoping to rely on a frank and honest opinion. Perhaps even initiate some lively debate as to why Gypsy, who does have excellent taste, did not like the book, By being honest you may help you friend determine the kind of books to share with you in future.
But then again, my brutal honesty can make me such a a**hole sometimes.
But then again, my brutal honesty can make me such a a**hole sometimes.
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
I was given Marley and me by my mother-in-law. I never read the damned thing until I was bored one day. It isn't my kind of book at all. I'm not a dog person and the way everyone was raving about it when it became a movie (rolls eyes)...I lied and said I was too busy to read it. I can't tell my mother-in-law that the book was crap.She'd cry...seriously. I'd say it depends on the person who gave it to you!
Quote by Loislane
I was given Marley and me by my mother-in-law. I never read the damned thing until I was bored one day. It isn't my kind of book at all. I'm not a dog person and the way everyone was raving about it when it became a movie (rolls eyes)...I lied and said I was too busy to read it. I can't tell my mother-in-law that the book was crap.She'd cry...seriously. I'd say it depends on the person who gave it to you!
Some really good points have been made here, and it all does come down to the person who gave it. That's why it's tricky this time!
I'm still struggling with the book, as it's a first novel, full of intense social meaning and filled with details that are meaningful and depressing. Oh and the person who gave it to me knows the author. That makes brutal honesty even more difficult. If it were the author himself, I could have given him an honest critique, but it isn't.
I think I'm going to skim through parts of it, and hopefully it'll start to be a bit more upbeat soon. It's tough going, though.
Active Ink Slinger
Gypsy, you should change your name to 'Angel' you are so sweet.
Can I send my first novel to you? I know you'll be sooooo gentle with me
Can I send my first novel to you? I know you'll be sooooo gentle with me
"Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages, English and bad English." - Korben Dallas, from The Fifth Element
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must man be of learning from experience?" - George Bernard Shaw
Matriarch
I find choosing books a very personal thing. As a silly analogy, I'd almost liken it to buying shoes. Would you let someone else choose shoes for you? There's a high likelihood you're not going to like them.
If anyone intends to buy me a book and tells me, I always make title / author suggestions.
If it's an unexpected book gift and it really wasn't to my taste, I'd be totally honest about it, tell them I didn't particularly like it, and give reasons. If you don't, you risk getting more books from them which aren't to your taste either.
Yes, I'm cold and heartless
If anyone intends to buy me a book and tells me, I always make title / author suggestions.
If it's an unexpected book gift and it really wasn't to my taste, I'd be totally honest about it, tell them I didn't particularly like it, and give reasons. If you don't, you risk getting more books from them which aren't to your taste either.
Yes, I'm cold and heartless
Lollipop Girl
i would just say i tried to read it but i found it didnt interested me at all...just be honest
"Haters make me FAMOUS!!!"
Sassy
Sassy
Quote by gypsymoth
Exactly, I don't want to hurt her feelings, but she does like to discuss books with me, and it was nice of her to give it.
I need to come up with something neutral, but still say something good about it.
If you were my sister or whatever and you didn't like the book I was mad on. All I'd like to know is did you actually read it all, and tell me why you didn't like it etc. Because even if you hated parts what you have done with the family member is share knowlege at what you disliked, because when she or he says 'oh my god, can't believe you didn't love that part!' You can then share a connection by asking 'well...why did you like that part?'
She or he obviously loves and I love reading books and often bought books I liked for family hoping they'd enjoy them and when I chatted about the book I can easily read by their faces they didn't like it. But all I was after was a good old banter between someone who loved a book and someone who wasn't keen, and at the end of the day just a good old disscussion about the book. Then I know I'd go home feeling happy!
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by nicola
I find choosing books a very personal thing. As a silly analogy, I'd almost liken it to buying shoes. Would you let someone else choose shoes for you? There's a high likelihood you're not going to like them.
Yup. Trust me. Never ask your mother or your sisters to buy you shoes. They never listen; even when you supply them with pictures and catalog numbers. Or magazines. I ask for "Scientific America"? And I get "Cosmo".
Answering with some positive, basically as you have written in here, lots of meaningful stuff (expand if you can), is in my opinion a good answer followed by, 'it really wasn't my cup of tea for I like action/light hearted/ romance/ escaping etc....'. That way you have mentioned one positive, and no negatives, just not your genre of reading. And this way, you are explaining that you are not saying it is the book or the person who recommended it to you; you are just saying it is not something you enjoy reading in your free time.
Living life and enjoying life are two different things... just need to figure out how to do both at the same time to live it right!
Woman... GO FLY A KITE!!!!! Take a slideshow walk with me on a walk through the parks of Inner Mongolia, China. Then enjoy the tale of a very traditional day in the life of a white Woman in China.
Woman... GO FLY A KITE!!!!! Take a slideshow walk with me on a walk through the parks of Inner Mongolia, China. Then enjoy the tale of a very traditional day in the life of a white Woman in China.
Active Ink Slinger
I am not sure I ever read a book I did not learn something from ,even the dreck can teach us something ...ya dig ?