Before we could find a place to get undressed, Charlie came up behind us. “You two are actually staying, huh?”

He seemed almost as surprised as I was. I nodded. “I guess, at least for awhile. Where’s the best place for us to leave our clothes, and where do we find towels?”

“Come on, I’ll show you.” He passed us and led the way down the hall. He had shed his hood and his manacles, although I’d noticed he still wore his nipple clamps – and, to my dismay, with him in front of us I was assaulted by the sight of his tail, which, unfortunately, I knew far too much about! Alli also noticed it, and looked at me with raised eyebrows. I shook my head and mouthed the words “Don’t ask!” silently to her.

He stopped at a door that stood open a few inches, knocking and receiving no response before he pushed it open the rest of the way. “In here, guys; you can just leave your stuff on the bed, and there are towels back there in the bathroom, in the linen closet, and there’s soap and crap on the sink – you can even shower, if you want to.” He stepped back and looked at us. “Dave, Allison, I’m really glad you’re staying; it’s about time! If my best buddy and his gorgeous, sexy wife can’t be comfortable getting naked at my house, what’s the point of it all, right?”

He laughed at his own twisted philosophizing before again becoming serious. “Look, I know it’s awkward sometimes, the first time you do something like this, but there are also some robes in the linen closet, on the top shelf. Most people just wrap in a towel – or nothing at all – but if you’re a little modest at first it’s understandable. Feel free to use the robes, okay? Remember, everyone had a 'first time' at some point.” He started to turn away. “I’ll see you outside – right now I gotta go get this damn tail outta my ass before my prostate replaces my Adam’s apple.”

I was laughing and shaking my head as he left, and Alli just looked at me, waiting for me to fill her in, which I eventually did. “The tail is actually a whip or lash or something, and the handle is apparently a good-sized glass dildo, which is shoved up his ass – all of which, just so we’re clear, is information I never wanted or requested, but which was passed along to me by the person that I suspect installed it for him.”

She started giggling. “Really? Oh, that’s just hilarious; I can’t believe he ran around with that shoved up his butt all night!”

“Yeah, well, ‘hilarious’ is not the word I used when she told me about it.” As soon as the words left my mouth I knew a certain question would follow. I was right.

“And just who might this ‘she’ have been?”

“Diamond – whose name is actually Karen, by the way – when I bumped into her outside. Oh, and we were right about her; she is a dancer, she works at the Booby Trap, and – get this – she lives here with Charlie whenever she’s in town. Apparently they travel around to different clubs to perform.”

She just looked at me in that way she has. “You certainly seem to know a lot about her in such a short time!” That was said in a way that I sensed (again, using my almost legendary powers of perception) meant that I was apparently in the doghouse for fraternizing with a stripper.

I laughed it off. “Oh, right! Give me a break – how many times did you get groped while you were running around, basically trying to get yourself groped?!”

“Mmm, uh, not too many. A few, let’s say. Are you going to shower, or just wash your face?”

I shook my head, laughing. “You’re not trying to change the subject, are you?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. Hey, did you know that you were Charlie’s best buddy?”

“Now you’re just grasping at straws.”

“No, seriously! He just said that, and he was so nice and considerate just then I almost didn’t recognize him!”

“Maybe having that big dildo crammed up his butt is good for him.” I sighed. “I guess, you know, we’re good friends. We’ve sure known each other a long time, and I’m one of the few that lets most of his more obnoxious garbage just slide off because I know what he’s really like. Being his ‘best buddy’ isn’t the worst thing, I suppose.”

Alli smiled. “Try not to smother him with your enthusiasm.”

I chuckled. “Look, we’re business partners - and we’re friends; let’s not get all gooey over it, okay? Guys are just friends, it’s not some big emotional thing, and I actually think I’m at least as close to Rob and Sherry as I am to Charlie.”

She said, “He’s not so bad, and buried behind all of that bluster and crudeness I think he has an inner child still.”

The way she’d phrased it made me laugh. “The only way Charlie has an inner child is if he ate one recently; remember, this is the guy that spends a significant chunk of his waking hours at a strip club!”

Alli giggled. “Well…maybe he was breast-fed as a baby and it brings back happy memories.”

“Now you’re talkin’!” I put my arms around her from behind, my hands automatically going to their most natural position, which is cupping her breasts. “I was, and I know I sure do like these things; maybe there is some merit in that theory.”

She put her hands over mine. “I’m glad – remind me to thank your mother next time we see her. Hey, is she the one that taught you that little thing you do with your tongue, where you…”

I pushed her away. “Oh, ick! Now you’re just getting gross! You’ve obviously been around Charlie way too much.”

She was laughing. “Yeah, I apologize for that one, that was pretty bad. So, should we get out of these things and go join the party?”

I shrugged. “Might as well do it if we’re going to, I guess.” I made sure the door was closed and started to strip out of my costume, while Alli did the same. The hood/stole thing went first, which was a huge relief, and I scratched my itchy head, and next went the leggings, gloves, and shirt, and finally the pants, which left me standing there in only my silly leopard thong/pouchy/g-string thing. By the time I got to that stage, Alli was completely naked, and she turned to give me a hug. A hug from a nude Allison is something not to be missed, and I eagerly returned it.

As we separated she reached down and cupped my leopard-encased package. “I really could get used to seeing you in sexy little underwear like this! You should trade in your boxers and wear sexy stuff more often!”

“Yeah, don’t hold your breath! It’s all about being comfortable, and these aren’t, particularly. Not as bad as I thought, though; maybe I’ve started to get used to having my balls in a baggie.” I gently pulled her hand away. “You’d better stop, because there’s no way I’m walking out there in front of a bunch of people with my dick pointing at the sky!”

She chuckled. “Imagine you, actually telling me to stop playing with your stuff! There’s one for the record books.” She turned toward the short hallway to the bathroom with a brief remark about washing off her makeup while I freed the tight elastic from around my balls, setting my genitals free, and began to slide the waistband down my legs. I heard a startled gasp, and then voices, although about the only actual words I could make out were in Alli’s voice, saying “Oh, I’m so sorry!”

She popped back out of the hallway as quick as a scalded cat, her eyes wide and a very shocked look on her feline face. Again I was pretty sure she was blushing – her ears and neck were quite red – but her makeup hid it on her face. Hot on her heels came the source of her apparent embarrassment: Don, a folded towel across the back of his neck and over his shoulders but otherwise naked, blushing, laughing, his cock rigidly erect and glistening wetly, and Keri, our blond office manager, receptionist, and Don’s wife, a towel clutched in her hand but also stark naked – and also laughing!

Keri spoke first. “Sorry guys, our fault! We came in to get undressed and got a little sidetracked before we managed to get outside!” I noticed that her blue eyes swept over both Allison and me, lingering on my exposed middle portion before rising to meet mine. I’d done a quick reconnaissance of my own, noticing her slender, long-legged frame, nice, full, soft breasts, her rosy pink nipples hard and jutting, and the trim honey-blond triangle between those long legs, a few shades darker than the mussed-up blond hair on her head. Amazing the detail your eyes can take in and your mind can absorb in a mere second or two!

I finally managed to find my voice. “Uhh, yeah, sorry; Charlie told us we could change in here. We didn’t know…”

Don laughed. “He probably didn’t know we were still in here – then again, maybe he did; with Charlie you just never know! We’ll go on out and let you have the room; sorry for the mix-up.” He seemed utterly unabashed about the fact that he was standing there naked, with his wet cock standing at attention, hard as a mackerel and pointed at the ceiling, balls dangling – or that Alli was staring at him, her eyes locked on his sex!

They headed for the door as I said, “Yeah, um, I guess we’ll join you in a few minutes; we need to wash off this makeup and all…” I trailed off, not really knowing why I was bothering to tell them that. They didn’t care, and we certainly didn’t need to give them our schedule, or make excuses! As they departed we watched their bare buttocks recede through the door and into the hall. Keri’s was fine, tight and round, while Don was what I described earlier, an athletic guy gone slightly to seed, his ass spreading some and a spare tire just starting to form around his middle.

We both just stood still for several seconds, a bit taken aback by the whole scene, but when Alli finally turned and looked at me she burst out laughing. “Oh, that’s a good look! I’m glad to see that you look as surprised as I felt!”

I looked down at myself, just then realizing that throughout our brief encounter with them I’d been standing there with my thong’s elastic waistband around my knees, the little pouch dangling between my legs. I could only grin and shake my head ruefully. “Yeah, I wasn’t exactly expecting company. Where the hell did they come from?”

“Well, the bathroom, of course! When I walked in on them he was leaning back against the sink and she was on her knees in front of him, giving him a blowjob – I was so embarrassed I about fainted!”

I laughed at the image in my head of what the expression on my wife’s face must have been! “Hey, imagine how they felt, caught in the act! I guess you win the title of Miss Fellatious Interruptus – bet that was awkward! It didn’t seem to bother either of them very much though, did it!?”

I finished removing my little pouch-contraption while Allison watched me. Shaking her head, she said, “Not in the least – and he wasn’t at all concerned that he was standing there with his dick as hard as could be either. I guess you can quit worrying about that, huh?!”

“Yeah, well, I’m not him. I’m not comfortable with the idea of people seeing me like that – or even like this, for that matter!” I paused, and we looked at each other for a few seconds before we both broke out laughing, amazed at what we had apparently gotten ourselves into. When I finally could, I said, “Well, it seems that this part of the evening is not going to consist of a bunch of friends sitting around in a hot tub and discussing sports, or current events, or whatever.”

“Oh, Davey! Did you ever really think it would?” Both naked now, I followed her into the bathroom, where she began to wash the makeup and crap off her face.

“That’s just the thing, babe; nobody talks about it much, so I really had no idea what all might go on. I envisioned a bunch of guys talking about sports, or work, or politics or something, while the women all got together and exchanged recipes, or talked about shoes, or diaper rash, or whatever it is you ladies talk about when us men aren’t around. You know, like at a party.” I was only half-kidding; of course I hadn’t expected what I’d just described, but I really hadn’t expected a sexual free-for-all either, of which there seemed to be early indications.

Her face covered with muddy-looking soap suds, she glanced at me with a look that I can only describe as being a look of pity – or perhaps amusement – before rinsing her face clean. After drying her face, she shook her head, looking at me again; okay, it had been a look of pity. “Is that what you really think women talk about when you men aren’t around?”

I feigned shock. “You mean it’s not?”

She came to me and put one hand on my chest, while cupping my genitals with her other. She looked into my eyes, a sly smile on her face. “Of course not, silly! No, when you guys aren’t around we girls all get together and compare notes – you know, how good our guys are in bed, how long you last, whether you’re any good with your tongues – oh, and of course we talk about how big your cocks are…or aren’t, in some cases!”

I groaned. “I can only hope you’re yanking my chain right now, otherwise I’m toast.”

She laughed, and hugged me. “No, actually you fare quite well – middle of the pack, at least!”

“Thanks, but somehow that’s not all that reassuring. That is me though – Joe Average.”

“Mmm - Joe Wonderful, in my opinion. Wash your face, Mr. Wonderful.”

“Okay – but please, call me Joe.” I bent over the sink and began to scrub the goop off my face, the water swirling down the drain in a cloudy, muddy-looking whirlpool. As I began to rinse the last of the soap from my face, Alli took advantage of my vulnerable position by reaching between my legs from behind and grabbing my balls. I jumped. “Hey! I’m sorta busy here!”

“What a coincidence – so am I!” She squeezed and fondled me, the tips of her fingers stroking the underside of my rapidly stiffening cock.

“Now you’ve done it! I told you, I’m not going out there with a hardon.”

“Well, I could fix it by doing to you what Keri was doing to Don, but then if things get rollicking out there you might not be able to get it up again.”

“Oh, thanks; that thought hadn’t even occurred to me! Now I have one more thing to worry about.”

As I dried my face she continued to fondle me, tracing my erection with her fingertips. “With Mr. Dependable, here? That’s one thing I don’t think you’ll ever have to worry about! I don’t know why you’re so worried about everyone seeing you with a hardon, either – I mean, look how cute he looks!”

I groaned, shaking my head as I seized her arm and removed her hand from my now achingly hard cock. “I’d prefer you say ‘handsome’. ‘Cute’ sort of connotes something small, doesn’t it? I mean, we’ve covered this before, haven’t we?”

She laughed, and grabbed me again. “You’re handsome, big guy, and compared to you, this guy is small, so he’s cute. Adorable, actually; I could just kiss him!”

“Uh-huh, maybe later. You know, you could use a few lessons on how to shore up the confidence of a naked man. Frankly, you’re kind of lousy at it.”

She got a good laugh out of that! Apparently she thought I was kidding. “You know, having seen Davonn and Don, I’d say you have nothing to worry about on that score! Both of those guys seemed to be about the same size as you, give or take.”

“Well, I guess we know what you were looking at!”

She had the decency to blush crimson. “Ha! Are you trying to tell me that you weren’t staring at Keri and Molly?”

He had me there! “Well, okay, guilty as charged.” I put the towel back on the bar and we looked at each other; her, gloriously sexy and beautiful, naked and stunningly perfect, me, your average thirty-something white guy with an average body in reasonably good shape, with my average cock sticking straight up. I nodded my head. “I guess we’re really doing this, huh?” She smiled and shrugged, and I had to smile along with her. “I sure do love you, lady. Towels, or robes?”

“I love you too, my big, sexy man.” She kissed me, a real kiss, now that we were no longer concerned about our makeup. “Everyone else we’ve seen seemed okay with just towels; maybe we should just go that route too, and try to act normal.”

Completely against my better judgment I went along with her decision; I’d have been much more at ease in one of the big, fluffy, white terrycloth robes that Charlie had so considerately provided, but no, – and this was before I knew that I would soon come to regret that decision even more! I thought that maybe Allison would wrap the towel around herself above her boobs, the way women do, which would have given me clearance to tuck mine around my waist, but she didn’t. No, instead my shy, modest, prim and proper little wife just took the towel in her hand and headed for the door into the hallway! My eyes naturally followed her perfect little ass, and soon my feet did as well. I tossed my towel over my shoulder and caught up to her at the door.

We looked at each other again, and she gave me a reassuring smile, and then we opened the door…and ran smack in to Marci and Michael coming up the hall, on their way out to the deck! They were dressed like us – which is to say, not at all – and we all came to a dead stop, looking at each other.

Marci was in front of Michael, and as such I couldn’t help but notice the generous attributes of my administrative assistant! Marci is best described as voluptuous, with somewhat wide hips and a fairly ample bottom, and large, heavy breasts; all of these things I’d been more or less aware of, because they are evident even when she is fully clothed.

The things I’d been unaware of - or, at least, less aware of until now – were her large, rosy areolas and her huge nipples, each erect and probably three-quarters of an inch or so in both diameter and length, and the exaggerated lushness of her hourglass figure, all lush hips, narrow waist, and wide shoulders above those huge breasts. I also noticed that her sex was mostly shaved – or perhaps waxed – leaving only a small, triangular patch of nearly white-blond hair, tightly trimmed, on her mound, and that her inner pussy lips and the hood over her clit protruded noticeably , soft and pink between her legs. With her blue eyes and her long blond hair, still in its Viking braid, she had that whole thing going on again, that thing where you don’t notice so much that she’s beautiful, or exotic, but just that she’s very compelling, in a distinctly sensual and sexual way. She simply exudes sexuality; there is no other way to put it.

And then there was Michael: The first thing I noticed about him actually wasn’t about him, exactly. It was about my wife, who was staring at him, her eyes wide and her lips slightly parted, a look on her face that was somewhere between shock and lust; I had no doubt that every one of her arousal sensors was blaring its signal! Michael, first of all, is the dictionary description of a mesomorph; he’s tall, broad-shouldered, hugely built and massively muscled, and seems to have virtually no body fat, despite the fact that he claims to virtually never work out, and that he probably consumes upwards of five thousand calories per day. His muscle definition and mass is tough to believe, and wrapped in his flawless dark-brown skin he looks more like an idealized male sculpture than a living person. All of this we knew, of course, because on various hiking or fishing trips and things we’d seen him shirtless on many occasions.

What we didn’t know, although Marci had hinted at it and joked about it any number of times, was that he was hung like a fucking Clydesdale! Any sense of comfort or reassurance that I’d gained from the fact that Davonn and Don had been no better endowed than me evaporated in a heartbeat! I had looked at Alli, and when I did, and saw the expression on her face, my eyes had followed hers to Michael’s groin, where the biggest cock I’d ever seen dangled heavily between his massively muscled thighs. His scrotum was about the size of a grapefruit, and the bulging musculature of his thighs forced it forward so that his huge balls displayed aggressively out in front of him, causing his thick cock to curve outwards over the protruding ballsack before it could dangle on down another several inches below it, pulled earthward by gravity and its own mass. I suddenly understood the concept of penis envy!

He was uncircumcised, and the thin, dark foreskin molded tightly over a glans the size of a ripe plum before puckering into a narrow little funnel-shape at the tip. It looked for all the world like the pressure nozzle on a big, black hose, and if I hadn’t been so stunned I might have laughed at that image in my head! I know we were staring, but Michael is apparently used to that, because he just greeted us with a hearty laugh and a wolf-whistle for Allison, who instantly blushed from head to toe. He slapped me on the back, almost knocking me over, “Hey, you two did stay! Glad to see that you finally decided to take the plunge! Especially glad to see you, girl – in all your glory.” He wiggled his eyebrows lasciviously - and good naturedly - at Alli, which did nothing to ease her crimson blush.

Marci and I just sort of looked at each other for a moment, each somewhat shyly taking in the other’s nudity, but also painfully aware of the fact that we’d just recently finished going at each other in a moment of anger. I caved first, but she was right on my heels. “Marce, I’m sorry – I shouldn’t have snapped at you like I did. You were right.”

“No, it was my fault! I shouldn’t have butted in between you and Allison; it was none of my business…as Michael informed me in no uncertain terms!” She looked like she was about to cry.

I glanced at him – and at my wife, who was still staring unabashedly at his enormous sexual endowment – before nodding to Marci. “Well, I guess we were both wrong. Water under the bridge now though, okay?”

She nodded, and smiled tentatively, and then – and this is the point where I really wished I’d gone with the robe instead of the towel – she stepped forward and hugged me! There I was, stark naked and semi-erect still, with this woman that I worked with every day and was very platonically fond of plastered to me, full-length, skin-on-skin. Please understand that I’m not at all averse to being hugged by a naked woman; on the contrary, it’s one of my favorite things in life! It’s just that I prefer that the woman be my wife…or, in the extremely unlikely event that it’s not my wife, that said wife – and the naked woman’s huge boyfriend - are not standing there watching the aforementioned naked hug!

Even though they were, in this instance, I was still intensely aware of her warm, soft abdomen pressed to my half-hard cock and of her big lush boobs against my chest, her huge hard nipples pressing into me very enticingly. I hugged her right back for a moment, an involuntary response, and then pulled away before my penis could halt and then reverse its downward trend, as I knew it was sure to do!

Now separated, I stammered, “Uh… well, good, Marce; no way I could stay mad at you anyhow, dressed like that! I feel better now that we got that straightened out.”

She nodded, smiling. “Me too.” She looked down at me. “And I see that’s not the only thing we got straightened out!” She was right; my cock had reversed course and had once again risen above the horizontal plane and was still rising. She suddenly reached out and flicked it with one finger, pushing it down and then allowing it to spring back up on its own hydraulics before laughing at her own antics.

I’d pulled back in that automatic bend-at-the-waist-and-protect-the-genitals reaction that all men instinctively use when anyone makes a sudden move toward their groin, but I’d been too slow. “Jeez, Marce!” I had a hunch I’d be saying that a lot!

She just kept laughing, with Michael and then my loving wife soon joining her.

Marci reached out and gave my now-rigid cock a quick squeeze. “Relax, boss, it’s all in fun! Come on, let’s go; I need another drink in me and some hot water around me.”

I had to question whether or not she truly needed another drink in her, but no matter; Michael put his arm over Allison’s shoulders and pulled her against his side, while she slipped her arm around his waist, and the two of them followed Marci up the hall. I trailed behind, my stiff penis pointing at my wife’s narrow derriere while I compared the contrast between my wife’s pale, lithe, supple form and Michael’s tall, dark, broad and massively built body alongside her, his hips easily twice the width of hers and his shoulders probably three times her own, his ass a mass of bulging, coiled muscle, and hers small and firm, round and perfect. He was almost a foot taller than her, and the big, dark arm across her shoulders was easily as thick as her thigh. It was a startling and strangely erotic sight, their two nude and perfect forms side-by-side like that, her light skin contrasting to his darkness!

We stopped at the small party bar adjacent to the kitchen to grab drinks on the way out, and while Marci collected some beers from the tap – in plain old Solo cups this time – the rest of us waited. I couldn’t help but notice that Michael kept his arm around my wife - but then again, she made no attempt to move away! In fact, she kept her arm around his waist but turned slightly toward him, to talk, pressing her left breast and hard nipple against his side and laying her free hand on the deep ridges of his abs! We were all friends, as I’ve said, and it wasn’t unusual for him to put an arm over her shoulders as he was doing now; they genuinely liked each other, and always got along well. The big difference this time, of course, was that they were both stark naked!

That didn’t seem to make any difference to them, but it did to me, and I felt an unexpected green flare of jealousy that I’d never felt before, when they’d touched in the past! Her hand on his stomach was a scarce few inches above his enormous manhood; I don’t know if she was even aware of that, or, if she was, whether or not she had the urge to touch him, but the mere fact that her hand was that close to his huge sex and that her hard, aroused nipple was against his ribs made me very uncomfortable…and, inexplicably, very aroused!

They didn’t separate, in fact, until Marci asked him to take the full cups of beer from her, at which point Michael and my wife parted and our friends headed for the outdoors, while I worked on opening a bottle of Merlot for Alli, who’s not a big beer drinker. Marci left my beer on the bar in front of me and told us to hurry and join them, while Allison leaned her elbow on the bar and watched me wield the corkscrew.

When I glanced up at her she was watching my face. I stopped what I was doing and looked at her. “What?”

She smiled softly. “Are you doing okay?”

“Yeah, fine. Why?”

She tilted her head the way she does when she trying to cajole something out of me, and gave me that smile again. “I know you didn’t really want to do this, and…well, having Marci see you like that…” here she paused to nod her head toward my erect cock, before continuing, “…well, you were so worried about it, is all.”

“No, I’m fine. Forget it.”

“You don’t sound ‘fine’; as a matter of fact, you seem upset.” She knows me too well. She smiled softly. “I guess this sort of makes the whole picture thing – everyone seeing me – sort of moot, doesn’t it?”

I shook my head resignedly. “Yeah; I guess I snapped at Marci over nothing, huh? Stupid of me.” I sighed, and looked at her. “It’s just that…well, you three seemed totally at ease with the fact that all of us are running around naked, while I’m still very uncomfortable with that fact. Alli, you three talked, and laughed, and touched just like you do in any other situation – but this isn’t any other situation! I feel awkward, and horribly self-conscious, but you…” I sighed again. “Did you even realize that when you had your hand on his stomach you were only a few inches away from that ridiculous cock of his?”

Her eyes widened as what I was saying sunk in. “No, I never even gave that a thought! I mean, it was just, you know, Michael…same old Michael” She laughed, and then brought her hand up to her chin, her fingers over her mouth. “My god, did you see the size of that thing!?”

I gave her my best sardonic look. “Yeah; it would have been difficult not to, wouldn’t it? The guy is definitely hung – did you ever have a boyfriend like that?”

She shook her head. “Oh, god no! That was just scary big! You know I had that one boyfriend, Alec, that I told you about who was pretty big, but there’s no way something like that would ever fit in me. I mean, he’s like a freak of nature or something!”

“Freak of nature – yeah, that’s probably a pretty good way to put it.” I remembered her saying that she’d had one well-endowed boyfriend for awhile, but I don’t think she’d ever told me his name before. The fact that she’d now recalled his name so effortlessly bothered me, frankly.

She touched my arm gently. “Did you have any idea he was hung like that? You could have warned me, so that I wouldn’t stare at it!”

“Hah! Yes, I noticed you were getting an eyeful; he’s probably used to that reaction. But no, I had no idea. Do you think for a minute that if I knew he had that monster in his pants that I would have taken mine off anywhere within the same zip code?” Alli laughed as I said, “Marci kids about it and makes wisecracks about ‘black men’, but I always assumed she was just, you know, playing with the stereotype.”

“She wasn’t.”

“Clearly.” I poured her a generous amount of wine in a stemmed wineglass, which she took from me and sipped. “How is it?”

“Really good – you were right, Roger steered us to some good wine again.”

“He knows his stuff – although I’m a little bit surprised he could even think straight with you there dressed as the cat lady.” She smiled; a dowdy old cat lady was the very antithesis of what she’d been dressed as! “Hey, what do the naked Marci and Michael remind you of?”

I received her best quizzical frown for that question. “What do you mean?”

I smiled at her expression; she just looked so damn cute! “What do they make you think of? Think statues.”

She looked thoughtful for a moment. “I don’t know…he’s big, like that Michelangelo statue of David, but more muscular – and way, way better endowed than that whitest of white boys, but Marci…”

I chuckled. “And he’s carved out of basalt or something, not marble – but no, you’re way off track! I’m talking about little bitty statuettes, those little fertility statues - or fetishes, or talismans, whatever you call them. Those things archeologists dig up from time to time. Stone-age culture stuff, you know, and the way the female ones always have the big breasts and butts, and those wide, child-bearing hips, and the male ones are those broad shouldered things that always have this gigantic phallus on ‘em.”

She just looked at me, and then shook her head. “Phallus?”

“What? It’s a word.”

“I know; I’ve just never heard anyone use it before. I’m telling Marci that you think she has a big butt and wide, child-bearing hips.”

“Don’t you dare! I’ll tell Michael that you like his huge cock – or phallus, if you prefer.”

She smiled wickedly. “I’m pretty sure he’s already aware that I was admiring his huge phallus.”

“Huh! No doubt, the way you were staring at it! I still can’t believe you’re so comfortable with all this. It’s just not like you.” It truly wasn’t, not like the girl I’d married, or the one I thought I’d known so well up until just a week or two ago. “Does this whole new casual attitude of yours stem from you having those pictures taken?”

She seemed to consider that. “I don’t know…maybe. It wasn’t as hard or terrifying – or as embarrassing – as I thought it would be, to do that. I just don’t know. I guess I’m just trying to relax and have some fun with it…and you should too, hon’. So, if you’re done stalling, can we go out and join the party now?”

“I’m not stalling!”

“Seriously? Fertility fetishes?”

“Okay, maybe I am, a little. It was just an observation.”

She put her towel over her shoulder and switched her wineglass to her other hand, and then reached out and intertwined her fingers with mine. “Come on – I’ll be gentle, I promise.” She glanced down at my sex. “And look! Sir Leaksalot has nearly resumed his normal, more relaxed posture, so you don’t have to be all self-conscious about having an erection!”

She was right, my dick had nearly returned to stand-by mode, with just a bit of the extra length and thickness remaining of my earlier hardon. “Yeah, let’s go, before it shrinks any further and I start worrying about just the opposite problem!”

We headed toward the open door out to the deck, her leading me by the hand. “You men! So very vain about such a little thing!”

“Thanks. You’re not helping.”

She giggled. “I didn’t mean it like that! Do you see me worrying because some of these other ladies have much bigger tits than me?”

“No. But then, yours are so perfect.” It was a totally honest opinion, not empty flattery; they just are.

“And so is your little guy, my love. Just absolutely perfect!” She released my hand and grabbed my “little guy” instead, leading me through the door and across the deck by that convenient handle, until I extricated myself at the top of the short flight of stairs down to the hot tub level. It was more than a bit chilly out now, what with all the exposed skin and all.

I whispered, “Keep that up and you’ll get me all re-inflated again!”

“Why are you whispering? Nobody can hear us over the noise of the pump.”

She was right; the pump and the blowers for the underwater massage jets were running, and the folks already in the tub were drinking and talking, all utterly unaware of our approach. She had preceded me down the steps and we were nearly at the tub, without anyone even glancing at us, until from behind there was a sudden loud wolf-whistle, and then Charlie’s voice; “Hubba-hubba, what a cute little ass! And yours is nice too, Allison!”

That made every head turn, and we were suddenly the center of attention, my butt the butt of Charlie’s joke! I should have known he’d pull something like that, given the opportunity, but then he redeemed himself; as we blushed, tossed our towels over a chair, and slipped into the hot water, he stood at the edge of the tub, still in his tight, phallus-displaying trunks, and asked, “Is everyone ready for the grand unveiling? Full-body wax and hours of pain, all for your viewing enjoyment! Do I hear a ‘yes’?” I knew he was intentionally drawing attention to himself to take it off of us, allowing us an opportunity to get in the water without being stared at overly much.

A couple of the women started chanting, “Take it off, take it off!” with Irene, to my immense surprise, leading the chant! She’d always struck me as so shy and straight-laced! Shows you what I know.

As for me, I was relieved to have slipped into the water without any more commentary on either me or Alli - although I had noticed some looks – but even more relieved to see that Charlie had already removed his tail; that was an operation I’d had no interest in witnessing! He started doing a sort of a strip-tease shimmy at the edge of the tub, hooking his thumbs in his waistband and pulling it down and back up, as though teasing them. It was not a pretty sight, but he was getting catcalls, whistles, and a lot of laughs; unlike me, Charlie is a bona fide extrovert and loves being the center of attention - and even more so if he can make people laugh.

He turned and dropped his pants far enough to moon everyone, getting more whistles and obscene comments, and then stood and turned and gradually lowered them until his pubic bone and the base of his thick shaft showed, all of it as hair-free as promised. He’d apparently really had done it! As Alli watched closely – along with all of the other women – and all the men tried our damnedest to ignore him, he finally stripped off his tight trunks and twirled them over his head, standing there as naked and hairless as the day he was born!

With just one exception: Around his impressive cock and balls was some sort of black leather strap with chrome snaps on it, apparently the last vestige of his whole BDSM costume, one part forming a cock ring around the base of his big cock while the other formed a figure-eight around his testicles, constricting, lifting, and separating them so that each egg-sized nut stood prominently out to the side – which explained why his fat balls had been so very evident through his pants! He did a little bump and grind, causing his big, thick cock to flop up and down and his balls to bobble around, getting hysterical laughter and cheers from the wives and girlfriends, who were obviously enjoying the show, and reaffirming my conviction that the man was a shameless exhibitionist.

He was a little chunky – and a little pale, smooth, and barrel-shaped - to ever make it as a male stripper, but he had the sexual equipment for it, and proceeded to put on a show that the ladies seemed to be enjoying, his total lack of shame or embarrassment giving them carte blanche to hoot and holler and stare to their hearts content. It was amusing, and even us guys found ourselves laughing along. This was the crazy, irrepressible Charlie that the women were so fond of, the one that had the wild, self-deprecating sense of humor that allowed him to be the butt of his own jokes for the enjoyment of others. The only problem he had with the ladies was that a little bit of this iteration of Charlie went a long way, but he, unfortunately, was like this most of the time!

It was Karen – or “DDiamond” – that finally slowed him down a bit, telling him to stop clowning around and to be sure to take off his “cock harness” (her name for it) before getting into the water. He carefully unsnapped and unwound the leather straps from around his equipment, wincing and rubbing himself as he finally freed his testicles. I tried to decide whether he was just oblivious to a bunch of people he knew and worked with – and their spouses - watching him fondle himself, or if he might actually be enjoying having an audience; I settled on the latter.

Once freed, and circulation to his genitalia apparently restored, he stood straight and did a little twirl, I assume for our viewing pleasure once again. “Look at that! Smooth as a baby’s behind – am I beautiful or what?!” He couldn’t quite ignore the whistles and jeers. “Hey, a little appreciation here! I had to drive clear to Denver to get this done, a little place on North Federal, ‘cause nobody around here wanted to tackle this big, gorgeous, hairy bod’!” He laughed, most of us laughing too, whether with or at him I can’t really say.

He went on, “Get this! The little old Korean lady that did me asked if I wanted a happy ending for an extra twenty-five bucks! She must’a been damn near sixty, maybe sixty-five! I told her that if she’d just finish tearing the last of the hair off my balls and go back to her dungeon, that’d be a happy enough ending for me! Hell, it wasn’t my fault I had wood half the time she was fondling me!”

He was being so utterly, outrageously lewd and ridiculous that it was hilarious, aided in no small part, I’m sure, by the generous amounts of alcohol we had each consumed. Marci was laughing so hard I thought she might throw up, and both Oscar and his wife, Irene, had tears running down their faces. Alli’s face was flushed, caught up in the hilarity, her uncontrolled laughter music to my ears.

This, I’ve decided, is the gift that Charlie and others like him give to the rest of us, to make up for putting up with their often rude and abrasive nature; they are so outrageous, so insane, so totally over-the-top, that it gives the rest of us more “normal” people an opportunity to get a little crazy once in awhile, and to maybe take a walk on the wild side, knowing full well that anything we might do is still likely to seem fairly tame compared to manic behavior such as Charlie’s!

Everyone was stark naked, yes, and we were all in this odd environment of sitting in a big vat of bubbling water together, but everyone was having a great time! There was no awkwardness, no self-consciousness, no humiliation or embarrassment. It was just good, clean, naked fun with a bunch of friends. I could actually feel myself begin to relax and unwind, more at ease than I’d been since I walked out my own door in those ridiculous tights, my bulge on display for one and all to see. Alli was right; this wasn’t all bad!

I managed to catch my breath enough to call out to him, “Charlie, I don’t care what you paid that poor woman, it wasn’t enough! I mean, you were one hairy son-of-a-bitch!”

He just laughed. “I know, right? She said something about making new blankets for her whole family…I’m not really sure what she meant by that, but I think I might have been insulted!” He did a couple more hip-thrusts, making his cock flop up and down comically from his belly-button to down between his thighs. “Losing the toupee does make my tallywhacker look bigger though, doesn’t it?”

I chose to ignore his question, but, again to my amazement, shy, quiet Irene stood up and shouted, “It looks pretty damn good to me!”, and I saw her husband, Oscar, laughing and blushing all at the same time, trying to quiet her down. I chalked it up to the Margaritas they’d been drinking, and maybe a little bit to the fact that she’d been dressed as a giant scrotum and standing alongside a six and a half foot-tall penis all evening; at some point, being a set of balls would have to lower your inhibitions just a tad!

Once again it was Karen that put a halt to his routine, this time by standing up and wrapping her long fingers around his thick cock and pulling him toward her. “Come on, stud, time to settle down a little and join the rest of us.” He allowed himself to be pulled forward, and stepped down into the water before taking a seat and sinking up to his chin, his eyes closed in bliss.

When Karen had first stood up I couldn’t help but notice, first of all, how large and perfect her breasts were! Alli was right about those too; they were too large for her slender frame and somewhat disproportionate as a result, but whoever her plastic surgeon had been, he – or she – had done a masterful job! Her boobs were beautifully shaped, full and round and firm-looking, with no visible sign of any scars on her alabaster skin. Her nipples were a pale pink, and they became erect very quickly in the cold night air, like rosy pink pencil erasers jutting proudly from each lovely orb. If there was anything about her breasts (other than their size) that made it apparent that they were not entirely natural, it might have been that they were just a little too perfect!

The second thing I noticed was that she was every bit as smooth as Charlie, not a trace of a hair on Venus’ mesmerizing mound! The smooth look was much more attractive on her, her mound sexy and kissable as the water sheeted off of her, the crevice of her sex fully exposed, her pussy lips peeking out, glistening pink and wet. Suddenly I understood her ability to make guys shoot in their pants just by rubbing on them much better than I had before! Visually, she was an almost purely sexual phenomenon, every boy’s wet dream, topped by those ice-blue eyes and shimmering black mane. Yeah, I could see it happening!

Charlie was fortunate, given the type of parties he likes to throw, that his house - and particularly the rear part, which included the deck and spa - were well isolated from his neighbors on each side. Neither of the two neighboring homes had any vantage point which overlooked his deck area without the residents walking well out into their rear yards, and both were at least a hundred feet away and separated by planting beds of shrubs and small trees. Given the distance, and the fact that most people would probably have their homes buttoned up pretty tightly on a night this chilly, I figured they were probably not likely to overhear any of the boisterous racket going on next door.

I suppose, if someone wanted to hide in the bushes, or hang out with a pair of binoculars in the strip of woodlands that ran across the back of the property, they might have enjoyed quite a show; that prospect seemed highly unlikely, however, on a night so cold and dark and in an upscale neighborhood like this.

His deck is huge and multi-leveled, the spa itself rectangular, with one of the long sides, the one which faces his back yard, built with an “infinity edge”, the type of invisible edge that comes just to the surface of the water, and over which a thin sheet of water slides, across and down to the narrow catch-basin below, where it is recycled to the filter, pump, and heater. That invisible edge, just below the water’s surface, slopes just slightly outward and is wide enough to sit on, probably a good ten inch wide wall, but the sheer drop to the yard below is over twelve feet, so you’d want to be careful not to slide off backward!

The other long side and the two shorter ends are all surrounded by his deck, the lip of the spa rising just two or three inches above the smooth, dark wood of the deck surface so that you step down into the tub rather than climbing up to enter. It works well and looks beautiful, and, with the water temperature set at a hundred and three degrees, it provides easy seating for anyone that wants to sit along the side and cool down for awhile before again slipping into the hot water.

As almost the last to enter, Allison and I had ended up on the long side of the tub which was away from the yard, so that part of the deck was just behind our shoulders; she was in the corner seat, which was designed to allow the occupant to recline, her head back against a vinyl pillow and her feet stretched out along the end of the tub where they just touched Michael’s hip, and alongside of him at that end was Marci. I was on Alli’s other side, on a sunken seat that let the water rise up almost to my chin, a massage jet against my back and bubbles rising vigorously all around me, including between my legs, where they teased and tickled very nicely at my more tender bits.

Karen was alongside me on that longer side of the tub, her hip touching mine, and Charlie was next to her, momentarily silent, water up to his chin and by all appearances possibly sleeping. At the end, past the corner and ninety degrees from Charlie were Irene, and then Oscar, and on the other far side – the “infinity” side, facing Alli and me, with their backs to the yard – were Keri, closest to Oscar, and Don, and then next to Don came Molly, and then Davonn, which put Davonn and Marci nearest each other at that final corner. The first thing that became apparent about that seating arrangement was that all the couples had stayed together; there had been no mingling or swapping position or partner for the sake of conversation - or anything else.

The other thing I noticed was that all twelve of us had automatically aligned ourselves in the seemingly de rigueur boy-girl-boy-girl arrangement, so that no place in the spa did members of the same sex sit side-by-side! It was almost funny that we had sub-consciously adhered to convention in that way, but then again, sitting as close as we were, naked and in some cases close enough that we were touching each other, it was probably the most natural arrangement. I don’t know for sure, but I suspect that the female contingent would have been less concerned about touching a female neighbor, and that we men had probably somehow ensured that the arrangement of bodies had ended up as it had.

It was fine with me this way – I had my gorgeous wife on one side and the stunning Miss Karen/DDiamond on the other, so I was in hog heaven – but it was a little distracting that both were pressed against me, touching, skin-on-skin. It was relaxing though, the conversation low and muted now that Charlie’s craziness had subsided, and we all just talked about normal stuff like you do at parties. To me it all still felt a little surreal, but if anyone else thought this whole thing was unusual in any way they gave no sign of it. Then again, I was doing my best to be cool and act like this was all perfectly normal to me; maybe the others were doing the same, their own nervous tension and sexual arousal hidden just below the surface like an infinity edge.

*******

I’d like to thank everyone for reading my story thus far, and especially for commenting on and/or scoring it. Probably like most of the writers here, I write for fun and relaxation - sort of a hobby - but, as I’m sure others would attest, writing is of necessity a very solitary and, as a result, sometimes very lonely pursuit; your comments and friendship help to make it less so, and for that I think I can safely say that we all thank you! For any of us, knowing that others are enjoying the effort is the reward. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Y’all come back now, y’hear?