Sunday 11th November 2018, one minute after midnight
Seeing Jill’s car parked by itself in our drive caused all kinds of feelings for me, my adrenaline and energy levels suddenly spiking. Fight or flight. Was she there by herself, or was Malcolm and or Luther there with her, or maybe Dee – the she-devil who’d been dildoing Fake me in Jill’s first porno which I’d been made to watch.
Heading into the house I felt like I imagined a soldier feels edging into a house that may well be booby-trapped with IEDs. I approached, nerves on edge and with a terrible hollow feeling in my gut, wondering what kind of gut-wrenching angst Luther had arranged for me inside. What way he’d found to co-opt my wife into psychologically belittling and emasculating me?
When I did get inside I was surprised to see just Jill there, sat by herself in the lounge nursing a glass of her favorite white wine, an untouched glass of malt on the table in front of me.
“Did we go too far, honey?” she asked looking genuinely concerned, lifting the glass of malt up as if she expected me to take it. “We thought you’d love it. You’re naughty, slutty wife becoming an internet porn sensation, just like some of those MILFs you love on the internet. Janet Mason, Brandi Love, Mandy Monroe, and now Jilly Foster! We thought you’d like it honey …” her words slowly trailing off as she looked at me sheepish and apologetic.
“How could you do it?” I asked, the absence of any booby-traps or enemies suddenly allowing my tiredness to return. “How could you go along with it? With that actor playing me? It was like I was some kind of sad fag, open to ridicule from the whole world.”
Jill shrugged her shoulders, patting the seat next to her as I took the glass from her. “Sorry, honey. Only sometimes it’s hard to know where to draw the line these days. To know what you like and what you don’t. I honestly thought you’d like it. After all, you lay next to me the other week when Malcolm was fucking me and Veronica was fucking you in the ass with that little black dildo. How was this different?”
“Because that was private! This was to be broadcast to the whole world and his dog! What if my new boss had seen it, or one of the kids? Or Becky’s mum and dad? What the fuck were you thinking Jill?” my voice a mix of anger, incredulity, and exasperation.
Jill just smiled weakly at me. “Sorry, honey,” as if that would make everything alright.
There was an awkward silence between us as we just looked at each other, each lost in our own thoughts.
After a while, Jill’s expression started slowly changing, as if a thought was hatching and growing, before finally, her face broke into a full smile.
“So you’d have been okay with it, apart from the bit with the actor playing you?” her smile a challenge to me, albeit a loving challenge.
“Fuck, Jill,” was all I could think to say, still exasperated and upset, but my anger slowly dissipating as I entered the zone of tired bewilderment.
“Honey?” she gently pushed.
“Help me out here,” she asked, “Dave, baby, it’s genuinely difficult to know where to draw the line sometimes. You were fine with me getting fucked six ways to Sunday by Malcolm’s buddies. By me acting as their resident live-in whore pretty much all week. And you’re fine with me sleeping with Malcolm three nights a week and managing strip joints. But getting another guy to play you in a porno while Dee reams him out is a bridge too far?”
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In those early hours of Sunday morning, I was too tired to remain angry for long. I wasn’t in the mood to make love, but when we went to bed Jill insisted on snuggling up and falling asleep like that, needing the reassurance I guess.
Jill woke me with a tray full of breakfast and piping hot coffee, and reenergized by a good night’s sleep, food, and caffeine we slowly set about fixing the damage from the night before. Jill could see how the whole thing with the actor playing me had been demeaning and emasculating and I accepted that she might have been naïve and stupid in going along with this, but I could see she had no intention to hurt me. Quite the opposite, I could see she was upset at the pain she now realized she’d caused.
Inevitably we ended up sealing the deal by a slow and loving bout of love-making, initiated by Jill but something I soon got into, physically enjoyable as well as reassuring me of Jill’s love for me.
But when we were done it wasn’t long before Jill returned to the topic of, aside from the fuck up with the actor being reamed, how I felt about the idea of Jill spreading her wings from strip club manager to budding porno starlet.
What followed was a deep and profound conversation that lasted for much of Sunday. I can honestly say it was probably the deepest and most far-reaching conversation that Jill and I had had since we’d entered this whole lifestyle when Jill had enjoyed her first extra-marital sex romp with Daryl, now more than a year ago.
I started from the position of being uncomfortable and troubled by the idea of Jill’s lifestyle being out there on the internet for everyone to see. But without being aggressive Jill asked some probing and challenging questions.
How come I loved some of the hotwife MILFs I lusted after and avidly followed since we’d started our new lifestyle, but was so anti the whole idea of her acting and being like one of these women? How come if these ladies and their husbands were confident and comfortable enough to make it work, we weren’t strong enough to be like them? How was the public nature of it a problem when our own kids already knew the outline of our swinging lifestyle and had a pretty good idea of some of the more extreme things we’d done?
All good questions as Jill gently chipped away at my attitude and resistance.
As we talked about it the nagging thought started forming at the back of my mind that once again Luther had played me. By over-reaching in a way he knew I was bound to react to, he’d win acceptance for his real objective which had always not been to emasculate me but rather to gain my acceptance of Jill becoming his little puppet-on-a-string pornstar.
As Jill and my conversation reached a natural conclusion I could see the expectant look in her face. That she was really excited by the prospect of this latest sexual development that Luther had laid in front of her. I wondered if this was how Eve’s face looked when that wicked old serpent slithered up to her and whispered in her ear?
The more I thought about it, the more convinced I was that I was being manipulated and played by Luther. Step one, do something so outrageous and out of court that this will be the full focus of attention. And when everyone’s all focused and wound up about that, slip under the radar with the small matter of converting Dave’s wife from a club manager and sometime stripper for a few guys into being a wannabe pornstar for the great American masses. I looked at Jill’s excited face I knew damn well I’d been suckered by a plan that could have come straight from the pages of Sun Tzu’s Art of War.
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For the next three months, there were five parallel tracks dominating my life and marriage. Track one, Jill and my marriage and relationship. We tried hard to use our precious time together on Jill’s days off to keep our love alive and real, our Mondays and Tuesdays the precious oxygen for us as a couple. Track two, Jill’s job managing ‘her’ three strip clubs that Luther had entrusted her to run, a job which seemed more and more to overlap and merge with track three, Jill’s budding career as an internet porn star. Track four, Jill’s relationship with Malcolm – more of that later – and track five which was of course my deepening relationship with Veronica. A relationship that naturally enough deepened and developed the more time that Jill was spending on her tracks two to four – as more of her time became consumed by club, web career, and her three-nights-a-week boyfriend.
The pornstar thing became another stick with which Luther became adept at beating and manipulating me with. Even on that first Sunday after I’d thrown my toys out of the pram, a DVD sat unwatched but tempting on our lounge coffee table. Jill had brought it back when on that Saturday night / Sunday morning Veronica had alerted her to how pissed I was and that she should get her ass back home as soon as she could to commence damage limitation exercises.
It turns out the porno video had actually been shot the day before, on Friday night which was one of Jill’s regular ‘sleepover’ with Malcolm nights. So even though Jill was home a couple of hours after I’d started watching the porno, the full porno had been shot, complete with all the things Luther had originally planned. My temper tantrum hadn’t stopped them as I was watching a day after the event.
And of course, Jill and Luther knew very well that by leaving the porno movie there I’d eventually give in to temptation and watch it.
Throughout the rest of Sunday, after Jill and I had ‘kissed and made up’ that damned DVD just sat there on the coffee table. I don’t know if I was being paranoid or not, but it was placed so that the Florida winter sunshine reflected off its hard plastic cover. It was like the damned thing was winking at me, saying ‘hey bud, watch me, you know you want to, come on ….’
When Jill was in the house it was relatively easy to resist the temptation, as I was damned if after having complained so bitterly I was going to give her the satisfaction of knowing I’d watched the DVD. But at around five PM when Jill and I had enjoyed a couple of hours in bed with make-up sex and cuddling, I was showering when I heard Jill’s voice through the door declaring she was off to keep a pre-arranged meet-up with her best friend Charlotte. Charlotte knew all about our lifestyle, indeed as a seasoned swinger herself she’d been one of the voices whispering in our ears to take a bite out of the tainted apple, so I had no illusions about what would be at the heart of their conversation while the white wine flowed!
But with Jill safely out the house and likely gone for most of the evening, it took precisely one hour for my resistance to crumble, as I put down the book I was so desperately trying to concentrate on and headed upstairs to watch. In the lounge, if Jill had come home I’d have immediately been found out. By being upstairs, at least I’d have a fair chance of hiding my activities.
The start of the DVD showed what I’d already seen, so I fast-forwarded, trying to find the bit where filled with disgust at how they were depicting me, I’d stopped watching. As I neared that point, of course, I ended up having to see snippets of the bit where Dee had started to use the large black dildo on Fake me, where Jill had told the audience how she thought I’d like this treatment while I watched her take her boyfriend’s superior black cock.
Seeing these snippets, even having seen them before, had my feelings of anger bubbling up almost instantly. But as the new action started unfolding on the screen I was able to push beyond my anger and mostly block out what I felt about what Dee was doing to that poor man’s version of me.
As she watched Dee doing her stuff Jill was still working her slender hand up and down Malcolm’s very erect nine-inch cock, splitting her attention between the perverted scene playing out between Dee and Fake me and the look of sexual pleasure on Malcolm’s face.
“Is that nice baby? Does it feel good?” she purred, as for the first time I squinted hard at the TV screen and noticed Jill had Malcolm’s Special Forces ring back hanging around her neck, swinging back and forth gently with the movement of her body. The way it hung between Jill’s big boobs and swung in time with the gentle swaying motion of her boobs was almost hypnotic.
In fact, it was so hypnotic that I’d been staring at the screen for several moments before I noticed the hand that Jill was using to stroke up and down and arouse her boyfriend’s cock to an even higher pitch of excitement was lacking her wedding band and other rings I’d given her. I only noticed the lack of her rings when the camera zoomed in on her naked finger, the camera then immediately panning across the room until it stopped at the bedside table. Showing all three of Jill’s missing rings as they sat symbolically alone on a plain white saucer.
“The rings?” Luther’s deep voice asked from somewhere offscreen.
“Not when I’m with my boyfriend,” Jill giggled, looking directly at the camera. “My hubby prefers it that way. It’s all part of the pain and pleasure trip for him.”
“And does he like that you get a bigger cock than his?”
Jill’s smile widened to a full-on grin. “Are you kidding? That’s cuck-hotwife one-o-one for my sweet hubby. He loves that all of my boyfriends have been much bigger than him down there. And he loves that Malcolm here’s not only got such a huge cock but that he’s such a big, manly, masculine guy.”
“Wow, that’s kinda strange to me, but I guess a whole lot of guys out there must be like that, like your hubby.”
There was a brief silence, no-one saying anything, Jill’s hand just still working up and down on Malcolm as she continued looking straight at the camera, the silence finally broken by Luther’s deep voice. “Okay then. Let’s get this show on the road. Let’s give hubby here something to love and loathe. Why don’t you two do what comes naturally while Dee carries on letting him know what it’s like to be a wife taking a big black cock.”
And so it began, Jill and Malcolm started going through the gears, doing what they did so many nights a week. Only now it wasn’t just for their personal pleasure, or to feed my voyeur kink, it was for the paying public. For the benefit of the people who’d either buy the movie or subscribe to www.hotwifejanencuckydan.com
And I’m ashamed to admit that even as I watched my wife being sold like this to the great American public, I was soon playing with myself and watching it as if it was just one of the regular once a week video feeds that Luther rationed me to. I was so hooked on watching them that I pushed my anger and humiliation into a back cupboard and locked it away so I could lose myself in watching the sex and love-making shown on the TV screen.
Even with the cameras there and, judging from the camera angles, the cameraman sometimes incredibly close and intrusive, Jill and Malcolm held nothing back as they mixed up raw and heated sex with gentle and deeply felt lovemaking.
I must have been watching the pre-publication full reel as the DVD they’d left in our lounge went on for the best part of two and a half hours, with Malcolm pumping his stuff into Jill three times over. In terms of the ‘mechanics’, Jill and Malcolm went through all of their normal moves. Malcolm’s long and fat cock was soon balls deep in Jill’s snatch, my wife cooing and purring at her feelings of female contentment at being so beautifully stretched and filled. The sounds she was making soon moving on to louder moans and then full-throated cries of passion as Malcolm slammed his shiny spear in and out of her at breakneck speed. Causing Jill to scream out and draw blood as she gave the cameras multiple renditions of real womanly orgasms, not the kind of fake climaxes so common online.
Luther was obviously paying for a top-line cameraman as he managed to get in for close-ups and extreme close-ups without upsetting the mood or the natural rhythm and spontaneity of Jill and Malcolm’s coupling.
Again I felt a sense of shame at how much I enjoyed those close-ups. When I’d watched them from the bedside or the various security feeds Luther had allowed, I’d seen the closeness and action between them, but never before in this level of 4K Digital close-up detail. There were extreme close-ups of Jill’s pussy lips pulled taut and wide, totally stretched and like elastic around the meat of Malcolm’s huge cock – which looked even bigger with the way the cameraman worked.
I was treated to graphically revealing and almost frighteningly intense zoom-ins on Jill’s face as she got close and then finally gave in to the power of her orgasms. Each time a similar but slightly different look on her face as she bit her lip, breathed with rapid and shallow gasps, and screwed her face up in contorted ecstasy. As each time Malcolm’s huge cock caused her body to spasm over and over as her body had no defense from the effects of those bursts of electric charge on her poor overwhelmed nervous system. Her eyes closed tight and shut each time, except the times her eyes were wide open and staring like a beautiful, wide-eyed doe caught in the bright headlights of an onrushing car.
I’d never seen Jill’s body and face in such close-up detail when she was with Malcolm, and it left me tight-lipped and gaunt as I was sucked into their world by the quality of the photography.
When it was finally over I had about an hour by myself before Jill returned from her evening with Charlotte. For that hour I just sat there back down in the lounge, stunned and overwhelmed by what I’d seen.
What’s the old expression – ‘a picture tells a thousand words’. Or maybe, “Helen of Troy, the face that launched a thousand ships.’
That face – Jill’s face – and the way I’d seen it blown up and magnified, all her feelings and emotions laid bare, had launched a thousand fears for me. It was like some old brown dustsheet had been ripped off some old masterpiece …. “Taaadddaaa” … revealing beneath the true scale and depth of Jill’s relationship with and feelings for Malcolm.
Even after all their months together, seeing them in close up like this had opened my fears and worries to a whole new level. I’d dare anyone not to react like this when your wife’s look of ecstasy is shown in Hi-Def close-up on sixty-five-inch magnification. Especially if your wife isn’t holding anything back in the words she screams into the microphones. Screaming, as if it was just the two of them there, how she loves her other man, how she loved Malcolm, and couldn’t do without him.
When Jill came home I knew I couldn’t face her. Seeing her headlights raking up the drive I dashed into my den, and when she stuck her head around the door I feigned being busy with work. Knowing I needed more time and space to get my head straight.
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Like I said before, Jill’s new porn career as a budding hotwife starlet was only one of five intertwined tracks that were playing out in our lives in the winter of 2018 – a sixth track being added when Becky gave birth to our first grandchild. Little Julia Emma Foster entered all of our lives on Tuesday 11th December 2018 with a full-throated cry and a full head of dark black hair.
All eight of us – John and Becky, our daughter’s Abigail and Sarah and four doting grandparents – were all immediately smitten. Such is the way with first grandchildren. And just for a short time, the arrival of that bewitching little bundle of new life seemed to put a hold on the less conventional parts of Jill’s and my life.
Jill and I stayed in L.A. nearby to Becky, John, and baby Julia for the balance of the week, but then with Becky’s parents living so close we agreed to head back to Miami – keeping some leave back in reserve for visiting back there when things were a little quieter. The presence of our new granddaughter in L.A. making me very aware that sometime in early 2019 Jill and I would have to discuss with my new employer’s where I’d be based in the long term.
But back in Miami on Sunday 16th December, things on the other five tracks of our lives didn’t quieten down much over Christmas and the New Year. Obviously, John, Becky, and their newborn stayed put in L.A. and our daughters Abigail and Sarah had long-standing plans to tour South and Central America with college friends. So aside from the odd Christmas party or two, things carried on pretty much as normal for Jill and me.
Jill had made three more porno movies for Luther. Or I should say, three more that I knew of. The website that he’d teased me with, www.hotwifejanencuckydan.com, which I’d thought might be a fake just to wind me up turned out to be very real, and obviously, I had very mixed and confused feelings about it.
When Jill and I talked about it, she was sweetness and reason personified. Arguing that it would be hypocritical of us to view some of these web sites but to think that we were too good to do something like that ourselves. Reminding me that most of the people who really mattered to us already knew about the stranger parts of our lives, and that as she already managed a group of strip clubs what she was doing on the web wasn’t much of a stretch from how things were already.
And the other thing that was relevant in these conversations was the dark and troubling reality that, although I worried terribly about where our lives and marriage was headed, a big part of the pervert within got really excited. Excited by the twin ideas of ‘Jill the pornstar’ and of laying bare for the whole world to see the nature of our cuckold-hotwife lifestyle. Of course, the idea that someone might recognize us when we were in the mall or a restaurant terrified me, but it also thrilled me.
And so even though a part of me hated it and was terrified by it, Jill’s embryonic career as ‘hotwife Jane’ carried on developing, no doubt with Luther being the one who kept most of the revenues.
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By Christmas 2018 I was a man thoroughly confused. I had a wife who was loving her new joint careers of strip club manager and budding porn star, but who I only managed to sleep with and have quality time with maybe two or three nights a week – depending on my work travel plans.
I had a new job which in the next few months would most likely force me to choose where Jill and I would live – Miami where Jill’s new career was, or L.A. with our new granddaughter and where most of my colleagues were.
And there was also the small matter of my romantic involvement in Veronica’s life, not to mention by burgeoning role in the life of her daughter Haley as a surrogate parent and father figure. I loved both of these roles, but I wasn’t so stupid as to be ignorant of the tensions between them and my marriage to Jill and role as Dad to my own three kids.
And then, into this maelstrom of confused life tracks stepped Callan, our good friend and Jill’s ex from college, who arrived very drunk and very angry on our doorstep on Christmas Eve 2018.
(Thanks to cbears52 for his proofing and error corrections.)
