28th May 2018

I guess we all have those seminal moments when a word offered really sticks in your mind. Never to be forgotten, often to be acted on. Well, one such piece of advice I received way back in my mid-twenties when I was going through a bit of a funk was ‘if your mind keeps going back to something, the only way you’re ever going to be able to get closure and move on is to confront that thing or that person.’ That however hard and painful this might seem, you really have no alternative.

These last few weeks, since Jill had returned from her last night with Chris, that’s exactly the position I found myself in. Sure, Jill and I talked about things and things were definitely moving in a positive direction, but more often than I care to admit, my mind kept going back to that terrible night. That terrible night when I thought I’d lost Jill to Chris. When I thought she was leaving me to make a new life together with him in California.

Sure, Jill was back with me. Professing her love for me, how sorry and ashamed she was that even just for a moment she’d said yes to Chris’s request that she leave me for him. The fact that she was in Florida with me rather in California with Chris was the strongest reassurance I could get. But still, my mind kept going back to that terrible Friday night – Friday, May 4, 2018.

And while I had the opportunity whenever I needed to pick things up and talk them through with Jill, the itch that just wouldn’t be scratched was Chris’s whole part in this. The way that someone who I’d taken to be a friend had abused my friendship and the relationship I’d allowed him with Jill. Taking his last evening with Jill as an opportunity to do all the things that he’d told both Jill and me he’d never do. When he’d used every ounce of Jill’s love for him and her physical attraction to him to persuade her to leave me and set up home with him.

Maybe I’m a naïve fool, but I’d known Chris for more than five years and we’d become good friends. And since that fateful night where five years of quietly smoldering attraction had flared into a raging fire, he’d reassured me over and over again that he’d never want to be that guy who split up a couple. Yet that’s exactly what he’d strained every sinew of his soul to do on that terrible Friday night. And I knew that I’d get no closure until I’d had it out with him.

With this burning need that in no way dimmed as the days passed and Jill and I slowly rebuilt our relationship, my upcoming trip to California seemed the perfect opportunity to scratch this deep-seated itch. I knew the hotel that Chris and his company normally used, so it was no big deal to book myself into the same hotel.

I took this decision and made the booking over the weekend when our kids were back with Jill and me to celebrate John and Becky’s happy news. I thought about telling Jill about my plan because I hated keeping anything secret from her, but in the end, decided I’d only tell her after I’d met with Chris. This way convincing myself that I wasn’t really keeping it a secret from her, that it was just a question of timing.

I even thought about letting Chris now in advance, but instead took pleasure in knowing that surprise would make him feel off-balance and give me more control.

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So six-thirty p.m. on that holiday Monday found me waiting in the reception area of the hotel, pretty sure that I’d see Chris before too long. We’d made good time on the long flight from Miami, touching down only five and a half hours after we’d left Florida. The ride to the hotel didn’t take long even in LA traffic so I had time to shower and freshen up before heading downstairs for my planned ambush.

When I checked in I’d asked them to connect me to Mr. Chris Garner’s room, knowing full well he was unlikely to be back so early. But at least this confirmed to me that I’d guessed right, that Chris was indeed staying in the hotel the company normally used.

From all the things Jill had told me over the last five years, when away on business and left to his own devices Chris was a creature of habit. That he normally worked late and liked to eat at around seven. And sure enough, as if on cue, I saw Chris’s familiar features emerging from the revolving door just a little before seven.

He looked tired, and immediately turned right and headed for the hotel’s in-house restaurant, too tired to venture further afield. I’d given it some thought on the plane and decided I’d get maximum pleasure from confronting him unannounced. My plan being to give him a few minutes to get settled in and order, maximizing the chance he’d not quit the restaurant, and then I’d announce myself.

Those ten minutes seemed to last forever as I forced myself to wait. I felt a real cocktail of emotions as those ten minutes dragged and dragged. Never one who’s liked confrontation, my whole body was flooded with adrenaline and part of me felt almost physically sick with nerves. But another part of me felt elated that I was finally going to be able to confront Chris about what he’d said and what he’d done.

Finally, the ten minutes were up and I gathered myself, took a deep breath and headed into the restaurant. I was pleased to see that Chris was facing away from me, meaning I could approach him without him seeing me. Maximizing the shock he’d feel when he heard my voice and saw my face.

It almost felt like one of those slow-motion movie scenes as I walked the few yards from the entrance to the table where Chris was sitting. As I walked across step-by-step, I had the satisfaction of knowing exactly what I was going to do and say. I’d thought about it long enough on the nearly six-hour flight over here, giving me plenty of time to think through my options and come to a decision.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hello, Chris. Fancy seeing you here,” my hand placed firmly on his shoulder in a gesture that would have done a long-service cop proud.

His head jolted to the right at a speed that I thought might cause him whiplash, a thought that made me smile.

“Dave, what the hell are you doing here?” he stammered, for once his suave mask of confidence slipping to reveal his confusion and nervousness.

So far so good. Feeling in control I grinned my best Bond-villain smile at him. “Well, I was over here on business and I thought it was about time you and I had a talk. You know … after the other night … after what happened …”

He was still on the back foot, floundering and trying to work it out. “Sure… why not…? Pull up a seat buddy…”

As I sat down, all manner of thoughts came into my head. I’d thought through what I wanted to say so many times during the flight and in the days and weeks leading up to this moment. But as I looked at Chris’s worried and confused face, I suddenly realized that I had no real idea how the rest of this evening and conversation would develop. All of my rehearsed and well-practiced conversations had been one-directional affairs. This would be a two-way street, driven not just by what I wanted and said but also by what my wife’s ex-lover and ex-boyfriend did.

We just looked at each other for ages, before it was Chris who spoke first.

“You know, Dave, I’m sorry things got to where they got to. I really am. But I’ll not lie to you, I’d do it all again if it came to that. I never wanted to hurt you, but you have to understand I love Jill and she loves me. What’s the saying? All’s fair in love and war. When the three of us agreed to play the game we played, deep down I think we all knew there was a fair chance things would end up where they did.”

He paused for a moment, letting his words sink in, just staring into my eyes.

“And, you know, you may not want to admit it, but I know some part of you got off on the whole danger and risk of the set-up between me and Jill. The way we feel about each other. The way we love each other. You may not want to remember it, but if you cast your mind back I remember you saying as much quite a few times. How in a strange way, her love for me gave you a weird kick…”

I’d not seen the conversation going like this. I’d thought he’d be more apologetic, more guilt-ridden. He wasn’t being confrontational, but I’d not expected him to stand his ground so strongly, pointing out my part in what had happened and his own lack of regret.

He must have seen something in my face, maybe my hesitation and weakening confidence because he gestured towards the empty chair on the other side of the table. “Why don’t you join me, Dave? Why don’t you say all the things you’ve been itching to say to me these last few weeks.”

I paused, considering his offer.

He gestured again. “Dave, I’m not proud of what I did and who I am. I really want to clear the air between us. I think we’ll both feel better if we do that. Dave, we’ve been friends for many years and I don’t want there to be bad blood.”

With a sigh of deep resignation and very mixed feelings, I slowly pulled out the chair and sat down. Staring at Chris I felt my anger building again. “Jill and I took you into our home. Let you into our marriage. You promised us both you’d never try and split us. And then you pulled that shit. Telling Jill she’d be much happier with you than she ever could be with me.”

I felt better for saying all this, looking into Chris’s steady blue eyes as he soaked my anger.

His next reaction totally threw me. A measure of the man, used to a life of entitlement and other people fitting in around his needs. He responded to and met my angry denunciation with a grin. A playful, confusing, charismatic grin. Taunting and disarming in equal measure as only one in a thousand can.

“Dave, I’m not going to sit here and defend myself. I never talked you down to Jill. I just told her the stone-cold truth. She’s had a wonderful life with you. You’ve made her happy and the two of you have built a life and a family together. I never downplayed that, and I told her that could continue. But I also told her with me she could have something different. The kind of excitement and buzz that she’d known all those years ago with Callan. I just told her the truth – that she had a choice. Between two very different things. Between two very different men.”

“And she chose me,” I spat out. I might as well have added ‘you bastard,’ because although I didn’t say it, he knew it was implied. The unsaid words at the end of my pain.

“Yes. Yes, she did,” he said raising his glass in a toast towards my empty hand. “And Dave, part of me is glad about that, and part of me is heartbroken.”

All of a sudden he looked down into his glass. I sensed he was doing some deep soul-searching. Something that shouldn’t be disturbed. Suddenly he looked up, the look in his face far less confident and assured.

“Look at me, Dave. Star athlete, strong academics. Loving parents, great job. But I envy you more than you’ll ever know. You have a wonderful marriage to a wonderful woman, who loves you with all of her heart.”

There was a sad, sullen look on his face as he continued. “What have I got? A broken, failed marriage. Because I couldn’t keep it zipped. Stupid and blind to the wonderful woman I had at home. Chasing any half attractive piece of tail. You’ve got the wonderful Jill waiting at home for you when you’re done. What have I got? An empty hotel room, emails and stress that keeps on coming.”

All of my earlier anger and temper had seeped away, disarmed by the empty and nearly broken man I saw in front of me.

“Dave, she chose you,” he said in a sad, strangled voice. Forcing himself to remember the night he’d shot every quiver in his bow. Played every card, but still fallen short, rejected by Jill in favor of the type of guy he’d spent his life besting.

“You know, Dave. I was reading the bible the other day. Just like my parents taught me. Do you remember the temptation of Jesus? Well, it was like that. I took Jill up to the mountain top. Showed her all the things she could have with me. A second act, a new and exciting life and relationship to add to the wonderful twenty years she’d had with you. And you know what, she turned me down. Turned me down for more of the same. For twenty more years with you, Dave.”

By now he was totally crestfallen. Again looking down into his glass. Reliving the hell of trying his best and being rejected. Being rejected in favor of someone he considered his inferior.

He looked up again, glass raised again, but this time with weary and defeated resignation. Only the faintest of life flickering around the corners of his mouth. “And you know, Dave, the only thing that keeps me going is that these last few weeks I’ve done a whole host of thinking. A lot of soul-searching. Decided I’m going to fix things. Either get back with Kat. See if she’ll have me back. Or if not, find someone like Jill. Have what you and Jill have.”

Our eyes were locked together. And for the first time in my life, I felt equal or even superior to Chris and all the other Chris’s I’d come across in my life. The living embodiment that the good guy can win. That it’s not always the moody, dangerous bad-guy who gets the girl in the final reel. It was a great feeling.

Suddenly I felt like I had nothing left that I needed to say to Chris. To fire at him or to unburden myself. A deep and profound truth finally settled into my consciousness at that point, despite years of insecurity and knowing how I’d lucked out in marrying Jill.

She’d chosen me. All those years ago, she’d chosen me. And now, confronted with everything that Chris could throw at her, after a few moments of weakness and hesitation, she’d reversed course and run home to the man she loved. To cling to the life and the family she loved today and tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chris and I talked for another thirty minutes or so. My anger spent, I was more like a big brother or a father confessor figure. The roles were totally the opposite of what I’d expected, as he described the journey he’d been through these last few weeks. The self-examination he’d forced himself into. The nervous dialogue he’d started with his ex-wife Kat, who’d put up with his philandering ways for so many years but who by the sound of it still loved him.

In the end, the evening ended in a way I’d never have predicted. With a fraternal bear-hug between us when we’d shared a last drink and I headed to my room to ring Jill.

As the elevator rose floor by floor, the little boy within me looked forward to the victory I’d report to Jill. How I’d won out over and triumphed over Chris, the kind of guy who’d dogged my path my entire life.

The elevator finally reached my floor and I headed down the long corridor to my room, gathering myself and steading myself to try and not appear too arrogant or victorious. Never a good look.

Settling myself onto my hotel bed for what I hoped would be a long call and feeling a lot better than I’d expected at the start of the evening, I texted Jill. ‘Facetime?’ Enjoying the welcoming feel of the bed after a long day and a surprising victory.

I was surprised it took Jill a few minutes to answer, although I suddenly remembered I’d suggested to Byron and Riley they might want to invite her around and so maybe that was the delay. But after a few minutes, I saw Jill’s smiling face.

“Hi, honey,” the love of my life smiled back. Looking a little flushed after what must have been a pleasant evening with our neighbors.

“Hi, darling,” I responded, unable to contain my excitement a moment longer. “You’ll never guess who I saw in the hotel tonight?”

But before Jill could take my eagerly offered bait, I saw her look up as the sound of our doorbell carried over the airwaves.

“Sorry, honey. Hang on a moment while I see who that is and get rid of them.”

I felt like holding my breath as I waited for Jill to return to hear my victorious story. She’d left her phone lying flat, pointing up at the ceiling. But I could hear the sound of muffled voices from the door. The voices indicating some mild disagreement. Continuing for some time before the picture juddered as Jill picked up the phone and finally appeared front and center.

“Sorry, honey. But the guys insisted on saying hi and on saying thanks,” my wife told me with a slightly vexed and impatient look. Before swiveling the camera left so that I could see two grinning black faces.

“Hey, Dave. Sorry to cut into your conversation with Jill, but me and Josh just wanted to say thank you for letting Jill brighten up our evening. You’re a lucky guy, Dave. You’re married to a one in a million lady and we just wanted to say thanks.”

To say I was confused would be the understatement of the year. What the hell were Byron’s housemates talking about? I wasn’t that surprised that they’d spent time with Jill. After all, they shared a house with Byron and I’d suggested he invite Jill over so I’d not feel too guilty at leaving Jill alone on a holiday evening. But why were they making such a big deal of saying thanks for Jill brightening up their evening? What exactly had she done to brighten up their evening?

I forgot that, just as I could see their excited but slightly drunk faces, they could also see my face. My look of confusion no doubt clear and prompting Freddy to laugh and start to explain.

"Sorry, Dave, man. It’s been a long evening and me and ‘Boy Wonder’ here have had quite a bit too drink. I should have explained. Your beautiful wife Jill did us the honor of letting us dance with her when we finally dragged ourselves away from the bar and came home. And I have to say, Dave, she’s some catch. Your wife. Far too good for an old white guy like you.”

His last comment was said with a huge smile on his face, similar to the one on Josh’s face who was by his side still grinning like a fool. Realizing just how tight the two guys were I couldn’t get angry with them.

“No offense meant,” Josh finally chipped in.

“None taken.”

“Cool. Hey, Dave. Would it be okay if me and Freddy had a final, end of night dance with your sweet and beautiful wife?” Josh added now that he’d finally found his voice.

I couldn’t see Jill’s face – the screen full of two half-cut but happy black faces. “Well, that’s up to Jill,” was the only reply I could give. I didn’t see any harm but couldn’t see what she wanted.

“Thanks, man,” came their almost synchronized response.

The camera started juddering as someone turned it to point away from Josh and Freddy towards Jill.

Jill was blushing, not surprising as the guys had put her well and truly on the spot. The weight on her shoulders.

“Sorry, honey,” she sort of apologized to me. “I guess one more dance to get shot of them before we talk is a small price to pay.”

The words were barely out of her mouth and her eyes were still looking into mine when the camera juddered for a third time. This time walking across the room before being placed by someone in a fixed position which allowed me to see Freddy dragging Jill to her feet as his buddy managed to get our music system working in record time.

Despite the inebriation of whoever had placed the camera, it seemed to have been placed with some skill as I could see Jill and Freddy as they danced slowly, twirling on the spot in the type of dance that was most practical in the confines of our lounge.

There was nothing untoward as the young black teacher guided my wife, his hands in a respectable position on her hips as her pale arms encircled his dark neck. They just continued like this in a slow and gentle rhythm until the song came to its natural end.

Freddy leaned in to give Jill the most platonic of kisses, and as the music for the next song started up he was gently nudged aside by his housemate Josh. It was as if I was watching a freeze-frame repeat, only this time Freddy’s long black dreadlocks had been replaced by Josh’s bald black head. His body slightly taller and wider, not that Jill hardly seemed to notice as she smiled her way through another slow dance just as she had done with Freddy.

When the music to that second song finished, I thought I might finally get the attention of my wife back. Might finally be able to tell her the story of my victorious evening. But events three thousand miles away in our family home between Jill and our neighbors seemed to be moving on from a solitary goodnight dance.

With the end of the second dance, it was Freddy’s turn to nudge Josh aside and re-take up his place as my wife’s dance partner. As they slowly turned on the spot, Jill made the effort to look over at the camera and shrugged her shoulders at me, sending a message, ‘sorry honey, but what can I do?’ She held my gaze through the lens until her rotated body position made it impossible, and I was treated again to the sight of my wife’s back, her arms around another man’s neck as she danced with a man other than her husband.

When she next was facing me she smiled, albeit a bit nervous, and things continued like this as Freddy and Josh must have each stolen four or fives dances with Jill. Things had settled into a pattern. My original worry that having only just rebuilt any semblance of a normal marriage, things were now spinning out of control was much reduced. It seemed to me just a bit of harmless fun and I’d actually started to get a bit bored. Impatient for the guys to go home so that I could share my news with Jill.

But just as I was seeing this all as harmless fun and was starting to relax, Freddy did what he’d probably been itching to do for most of the evening. A few seconds after he’d replaced Josh as Jill’s partner, instead of dancing face-to-face he turned her around so that Jill was facing away from him. Her back rubbing against his chest as his black hands encircled her waist and lay flat on her tummy.

Just a small change, but this new position looked altogether more sexual than the way he’d been dancing with Jill before. I felt my pulse pick-up as a not so subtle sixth sense kicked in, warning me what had been seemingly platonic was soon about to change. They danced like this for quite some moments, still turning slowly on the spot and enjoying the accompanying music. And then Freddy looked into the camera again.

“Hey, Dave, if you see anything you don’t like, just let us know, okay? But a little bird tells me you quite like watching your pretty wife having a good time. Even if that sometimes involves more than one guy… just like here and now, with me and Josh-boy with your sweet wife.”

Even before he’d finished speaking, both of Freddy’s large black hands had disappeared under the loose-fitting top Jill had chosen to wear, causing an instant change in Jill’s expression. A look of quiet and almost sleepy contentment immediately perking up into a smile of pleasure and excited anticipation. Eyes previously shut like a purring cat suddenly wide open, pupils dilated in surprise at the feel of flesh on flesh. The feel of Freddy’s large hands on the sensitive skin of her stomach.

His hands claiming new territory, as they danced Freddy looked at my face shown on the little five-inch screen, trying to decipher my reaction and listen for any protest. Not an easy task given the distance and the small screen, but maybe he wasn’t looking too hard. Even if my face had been cinema-large I’m not sure what emotions he’d have seen, because truly I was feeling a terrible mix of shock and confusion.

Just a few minutes ago, I’d been ready to crow like a proud cockerel to my beloved about my conversation with Chris. How he’d acknowledged my victory and was jealous of me. Ready to celebrate another big step back towards a strong and conventional marriage.

And here I was just minutes later, like a junkie being shown a high-filled syringe, not looking away or throwing it to the ground, but rather contemplating nostalgic memories of past highs, stupid enough to forget the price I’d nearly paid.

I felt my throat tense and contract, almost like an allergic reaction as Freddy looked at the camera and his hands started from the bottom and slowly and teasingly began unbuttoning the buttons up the front of Jill’s blouse. I realized things were now developing at a rapid rate of knots and that if I wanted to stop them I’d have to do something soon.

I was like the proverbial rabbit caught in the headlights. My pulse racing with nausea and fear I was feeling, reminding me like an echoed aftershock of that terrible night back in early May. That familiar and deceitful little voice telling me, ‘no, it’ll be fine, totally different than the situation with Chris. Not love, just sex, just like you and Jill always planned.’ Deep down I knew the voice was lying, but nonetheless the hungry part of me listened because I wanted to listen.

My brain was focused on trying to work out what the hell I was feeling and what I wanted to happen, just as my eyes were concentrating on watching each individual button pop out of its cloth eye, each pop allowing a little more of Jill’s flesh to be seen. Until finally Freddy undid the last button, pulled the two sides of the top wide apart and revealed Jill’s beautiful breasts encased in a lacy bra that was both feminine and sexy.

While her dance partner had been slowly undoing her blouse, Jill had just stared straight ahead, excitement and shock etched on her face. But now something changed and she looked at my five-inch face on the phone screen.

“Honey, are you okay with this? We never talked about this, so I need to know if you’re okay with this, or if you need me to get Freddy to stop.”

My throat tightened yet again, and even if I’d have known what to say, I’m not sure I’d have been able to squeeze any sound out through my strangulated larynx. I tried, forcing some weird breathy sound out, but it wasn’t even comprehensible to me, let alone to Jill. And I guess my face wasn’t much help – a mask of shock that could be interpreted in many different ways.

“Dave, honey, say something,” Jill implored me, Freddy’s hands now at the final border as they worked on the clasp at the back of my wife’s bra, her blouse now lying discarded on the floor.

But however much I tried, my voice just wouldn’t work. Paralyzed in a way I’d never experienced before, despite everything we’d been through these last few months. And so with chest gulping down huge spasms of air, I sat unable to speak and watched as Jill’s bra was removed and the blackness of Freddy’s hands went to work on my wife’s ripe and full breasts. First cupping them, feeling their weight and fullness. Then moving to savor and excite her nipples, rolling and squeezing them and winning moans and sighs of approval from the woman he was pleasuring.

Jill was still looking away from Freddy, her naked back now pressed firmly back against his broad but still clothed chest. Her eyes clothed as she rubbed herself against him, enjoying his experienced touch on her breasts, panting and moaning to encourage and signal him on. And it was Jill who took the initiative, turning around to face Freddy so she could kiss him properly. Her arms no longer passively at her side, now locked possessively around Freddy’s neck, trapping his dreadlocks under her pale skin.

Their mouths were locked together in a lovers’ duel, tongues fighting and sparring for dominance, each pushing the other on higher and higher in excitement. Jill’s hands running through the hair on Freddy’s scalp, playing with his long dreadlocks, a new experience for my wife.

Seeing the rings on her fingers glinting at me as she caressed and toyed with his long dreads, I felt a feeling of self-pity. Was this what my marriage had become and would forever remain. After less than a month of respite, back on the rollercoaster, heaven, and hell alternating as I watched Jill with yet another man. Was this what Jill and I were now destined for?

Having tasted the poisoned apple, destined for a non-stop conveyor of watching Jill with different men. One week Daryl. Then double or quits, Rocco and Chris. Now, after experimenting with Jill’s romantic attachment to Chris, back to watching Jill pulling the two-guy-trick. But hey, this time black not white, just for a bit of variety of fun.

Even as I silently said these words to myself, I felt myself shiver from the shoulders down with a perfectly balanced mix of fear, dread, and excitement laced with anticipation.

As the soon to be lovers kissed with a frightening hunger and intensity, I sensed that Jill had given me my last chance to influence or stop things. Just as I’d seen her all those times before, she’d gone past the point of no return. She was now lost within the new world that she and our dread-locked neighbor were creating. Unaware and uncaring about the man watching on the phone, with eyes and a mind only for the man who was now kissing her and playing with her body.

I felt sorry for myself as I realized this hard truth, but I didn’t have it in my heart to blame Jill for it. It was just nature. Self-evident, evolutionary truths, a woman focused on the man who was about to bed her and possibly seed her offspring. And as Chis had pointed out, I experienced a strange bittersweet and addictive pleasure whenever I saw Jill in this situation, with another guy. Even if less than a month ago playing the very same game had nearly caused the end of my marriage and made me feel positively suicidal.

But this was different, wasn’t it? At least that’s what the sly and sadistic little voice in my head told me. And with this little voice whispering in my ear, I watched the final parts of Freddy’s seduction of my wife. As his hands went under her skirt and cupped and held her shapely ass. This pleasure complete, now working her skirt down, pulling her panties with them.

From the way she eagerly stepped out of these discarded garments pooled around her feet, Jill was showing no signs of hesitation or doubt, and I wondered how much of her month-long abstinence had built-up an unstoppable hunger and desire. Jill now naked, they carried on kissing for a few moments as Freddy’s hands explored her tits, ass, and groin. I’d seen Jill with other guys many times now, but seeing the contrast in their skin tone adding an indescribable something to the mix of excitement and fear I was feeling.

Breaking their kiss and then looking deep into my wife’s eyes, Freddy picked Jill up in his arms before a moment later placing her gently lengthways on the nearest sofa, stopping for one gentle little kiss before pulling clear from Jill’s arms to quickly strip.

As his shirt, pants, and boxers disappeared in quick order, I found myself feeling that familiar pang of envy and jealousy. Nearly twenty years younger than me and with the benefits of a job in sport, every part of his African-American body put mine to shame. I might have a salary several times bigger than his, but this young black guy beat me hands down in the stakes to win approving looks from the female of the species.

The mixed look of admiration, lust, and anticipation on my wife’s face proved this – the look of a female looking on at a male well-equipped to breed and protect her. His arms were toned and muscular, his chest well-defined and broad, and his legs showed the benefits of many hours in the gym and signified a lover wasn’t going to tire anytime soon as he made love to his new partner.

And of course, the crowning glory was where my jealous eye-line first went - his throbbing and very erect cock. Standing proud and nearly upright, shiny and black and both thicker and longer than my own slightly under-sized offering. He wasn’t quite as big as Daryl or Chris, but in truth, he looked to me to be only marginally smaller than the other men Jill had been with before. And after a month without Chris’s large appendage and with only my humble offering for company, I was pretty sure Jill was hardly likely to complain. Happy and contented to again be filled by a male member larger than the one she was married to.

Jill’s eyes never left Freddy’s muscular and shiny black body as he stripped off, the lustful and obsessed way she drank in his maleness, causing a lump in my throat and sweat to form on my brow. Until a few hours ago, Freddy had been nothing in our lives. But now as I looked on helplessly as Jill lusted after this new man, I couldn’t help but wonder if this was the next rabbit hole our marriage was about to disappear into. If this young dreadlocked teacher was going to be the next person to try and tear Jill away from me.

As Freddy leaned over her and then positioned himself between her legs, Jill just smiled and stared at her new man. Lost in the little two-person world they’d created, oblivious to me and the world outside. No longer a mother, wife or loyal employee. Just a woman totally focused on her most basic physical needs and biological mission.

Their lips touched and reunited them again. This time, less hungry and urgent, more gentle and teasing. As they kissed, Freddy lowered his hips and positioned the fat head of his cock at the entrance to Jill’s body. I held my breath as I realized this evening was about to enter territory I’d never expected. How my little victory with Chris wasn’t the main event – the main event was that after a month of peace and quiet my wife was about to take a new lover.

Somehow similar to what we’d done before. But in many ways totally different, as we’d not planned and agreed this together. I’d in no way been the keen and energetic enabler that I’d been first with Daryl and then with Chris. This was different – this was all down to Jill, the new Jill, and I’d had no say and she’d only sought the most fleeting and smallest of consents from me.

As he grasped himself in his hand and rubbed his plumb-like glans up and down Jill’s love lips, I was struck by two strange thoughts. How pink the head of his circumcised cock looked, in stark contrast to the dark brown of the shaft of his cock and the rest of his body. And more deeply I found myself looking at the shape of Jill’s love lips. Realizing how they looked different to how they’d looked just a few months ago. How her many sessions of love-making each with Chris and his big cock had changed her previously snug and closed pussy into a permanently open ‘O’ shape.

Her vulva no longer shy and hidden behind the protection of her vaginal lips. Now open and available, no longer hidden but instead framed by the irregular and crooked lines of her pussy lips. Strangely reminding me of the look often seen in porn-stars after years in the job. The tight little pussys they’d started out with, resized and changed by the demands of the directors and their well-endowed male costars.

My faraway thoughts were broken by the long, happy moan I heard from the phone as Jill took the first few inches of his big black cock. My imagination was on steroids as I listened and watched. Every new moan I heard from Jill, every little sight I saw telling me a thousand different things in my fevered imagination. Telling me I’d been a fool to ever imagine we could be done with this new part of our lives.

Telling me I’d been a fool for thinking Jill, however much she loved me, could ever be contented with just me now that we’d opened Pandora’s box. Telling me I was watching the process of Jill opening her heart and her life to a new man, and that in truth neither she nor I had any idea where this ride was headed.

We might have spent the last month re-connecting as a couple. Celebrating the new phase our life was to enter as John and Becky added to our family. Cuddling together as we applied sticking plaster to our cracked marriage. But despite our best efforts and despite the absence of Chris, this new life appeared to be a black hole with an unstoppable power to suck us back in.