CHAPTER 25:

“You’re kidding! No push back? No objections? Nothing?” said Rodney.

“No—well—as for the prosthetic legs he was a little slower but seemed to think better of rejecting us and went for it,” said Claire. “He never even asked about the cost of them. I don’t think he has a clue about what all is involved overall. That’s a plus or he would have pushed back on that one for sure.”

“Yes, for sure

“Just maybe we are over the hump with him. I am so glad that Denise mentioned her sister to me that day. Denise’s salary is going to be getting a ten percent bump,” he said.

“Hmm, yes, I just hope that all of this isn’t some kind of a mirage. I mean I know it’s not, but up till now..." she said.

“Yes, I know what you’re saying. We’ve been down this road before,” he said, “well, maybe not this road.”

“Yes, and as for him walking Jenna down the aisle tandem with you. That’s maybe an even bigger deal for him than the legs. He wants to be seen as her ‘real’ daddy. It’s the one thing that kinda irks me. And yes, I know I have no right—or intention I might add—of even suggesting that you not him is the main daddy of record,” she said. “But...”

“Yes, and we will not be mentioning anything of the kind. He gets to have his beliefs unrealistic or not. He just does. Our baby wouldn’t even be alive except for him. No, he gets that one no question,” said Rodney.

“Yes, I agree, reluctantly, but I do agree,” she said.

“So now we plan for the wedding,” he said. She nodded.

“Yes,” she said. “And there might be a small problem there too. Yes, we could pay for it, and I want us to. But . . .”

“Yes, he’s not gonna go for that. But, I have an idea. And, I think it could be the one thing that really does put an end to all of the problems that have gone before,” he said.

“Oh?” she said.

“Yes, you’ve already done your part, now it’s my turn,” said Rodney. “I’m going to go to him and ask him, as her ‘main’ father to pay for it. I figure the cost, the way the kids are talking, is gonna run out at around five grand. They make enough together to swing it. It’ll be a bit of sacrifice for them, but with me submitting to him that he’s the ‘main’ dad of our baby, well I’m pretty sure he’ll jump at the chance.”

“You don’t think he’ll see right through your play?” she said.

“Not the way I’m going to present it,” he said. She was nodding.

“Okay, go for it, but I hope you’re right,” she said.

******

“There you are,” I said, “I thought you got lost.”

“No, I got GPS and your house isn’t that large,” said Rodney. “Claire said she talked to you about a couple of things.” He seemed a tiny bit nervous.

I snickered. “Rod, lighten up. I’m good. Yes, I’ll take the artificial legs if they’re still on the table. And, I’m happy you’re allowing me to walk Becca down the aisle with you. Ann has straightened me out in some ways and I’m doing my best here. Well, you know, we’ve talked some these past couple of months, socialized.”

“Wait a minute, James, wait just a minute. We’re not allowing anything. It is your right as her main dad, her real dad in more ways than one, to walk her down the aisle. Claire meant, and I mean, that I’m grateful to you for being okay with me joining ‘you’ in walking our baby down the aisle,” he said.

I smiled, “I know you’re paying for this wedding, Rod. Of course you have the right to walk her down the aisle too, and, you’ve been there for her a hundred percent of the time, me not so much,” I said.

“Yes, and you saved her life and by the way mine too if it comes to that. No my man. You are by definition her ‘main’ dad. Yes, I do claim a bit of that honor for myself too, but you are the one whose seed brought her into existence. “And whose sacrifice made sure she was able to keep on keepin’ on.”

“As for paying for the wedding, it’s gonna cost around $5,000. I’ll pay for it if you want me to, but it’s actually your responsibility, and yes, I know it would be infinitely easier for me. But easier for this particular ditty should not be the deciding factor. Anyway, whaddya think,” he said.

He’d stopped me. Five thousand would hit me and Ann pretty hard. But he was right, it really was my responsibility. Could I come up with the cash? The short answer was yes. I’d have to borrow it, but I was pretty sure I could do it.

“Well, since you put it that way,” I said. “Okay, you’re off the hook for this one.”

“Good,” he said.

******

The wedding was happening on this third Sunday in April, two months after my introduction, and Ann’s, to Gerald McCready. We’d done the whole show over those intervening almost nine weeks: the parties, the showers, the rehearsals and et cetera. And now here I was, and he was, standing in the church foyer waiting for her to come in from the bridal prep room.

“It’s been a long road to here, man,” he said.

“It has for sure,” I said.

“Can I say that those new gams seem to be working out pretty well for you,” he said.

“Yes, they are. Thanks for the gift. It was a biggee. I won’t forget it,” I said.

“A small recompense for everything you’ve done for this family,” he said.

“Hmm, yes, but not so small,” I said. Just then she literally flowed into the room. God my baby was beautiful: the image of her mom at her age. I was as proud of her as I ever had been of anyone or anything.

The two of us, him and me, were smiling big time.

“Hi, honey,” he said. “You look gorgeous.”

“Yes, indeed,” I said, “just like your mom when we got married back in the day.” I got a look from my BFF for my comment but nothing was said. The music started and we began the march down the aisle.

We made it to the front of the church him on her right me on her left. Then we hit a small snag. And it hadn’t come up in rehearsal. The pastor had only said, during rehearsal, “And now I ask who gives her away et cetera,” and we just continued with the rehearsal as both me and my BFF just nodded. But now here we were.

“Who gives this woman in marriage today?” said the pastor.

I was disconcerted. Should I say me? I didn’t want to upset the apple cart. Rodney mouthed the answer over to me. “We,” he said too quietly to be heard except by the angels.

“We do,” we said in unison. The pastor didn’t miss a beat. We passed our daughter up to him and her about to be husband.

The ceremony continued and then there was the reception.

We sat at the bridal dinner table with the couple, me on her left him on her right. Ann and Claire were beside the each of us respectively. We dads both danced with our daughter, me first then Rodney. The legs he’d gotten me made it possible for me to dance—slowly; I for sure was no threat to the reputation of the legendary Baryshnikov, but I was able to avoid embarrassing myself.

The day was good. The two newlyweds seemed to be made for each other. I wondered how long her new man was going to be able to resist succumbing to the temptation of big money. I figured about a year maybe two, but it was frankly none of my damn business regardless.

In attendance at the wedding were the Traynors; my buds from the street, Mac and Roy; and of course Henry and Sammy from the job. As a side note, Henry had just retired so he was in the same boat as me; well, he was sixty-six. Some relatives, mostly of the distant variety, helped fill the pews and the hall for the reception afterwards.

On the ceremonial side of things, Ann and Claire had seen to the care and feeding of the bridesmaids and the maid of honor all friends of Becca’s from Harcort or her college classes from a few years before. Best man was a guy that worked with Gerald at his shop. A few other guys he knew from wherever were the groomsmen. It all worked quite well overall.

******

The night over, all of the mandatory goodbyes said. The couple having cut country two hours before, we all headed on home.

I unhitched myself from my legs and scooted across up and on to my side of the bed.

“It all went well,” she said, leaning her crutch next to the bed and more or less plopping down beside me.

“Yes, yes it did,” I said. And, now, we get on with the business of living and doing what comes naturally,” I said, laughing, but not very loud.

“Hmm,” she said.

“Hmm?” I said back to her, but my ‘Hmm’ was a question.

“I didn’t want to say anything tonight, I mean tonight was for the youngsters,” said Ann.

“Okay, and is there something you’re not telling me?” I said.

“Well, I’m telling you now, so no,” she said.

“And,” I said.

“And, I’m pregnant,” she said.

I’d been looking at her with a questioning look, but now I was looking at her with a stunned look. Oh yes, I was stunned. Really really stunned. I hadn’t even considered that it was possible for us to get pregnant. I don’t think she had either.

“Ann, you’re not yanking my chain are you?” I said.

“No darling, I’m not yanking your chain. And, I was as surprised as you obviously are. I found out yesterday. I’d missed my period, so I bought one of those do-it-yourself tests and it’s positive as hell.

“Well, how do you like them apples,” I said.

“The question is how do you like ‘em?” she said.

“But how?” I started. “Oh and I like them apples just fine!”

“Well good. As you likely do not know, I am, was, still having periods if not as much or as regularly as when I was younger, but I still am, was. I thought I was past conceiving, but apparently not,” she said.

“Apparently,” I said. “Obviously you haven’t seen a doctor yet.”

“No, but when I got the positive I called for an appointment. I’m being checked out on Monday,” she said.

“Well, okay, but let’s keep this on the quiet until you’ve seen the doctor,” I said.

“My feeling exactly,” she said.

******

The pregnancy test was confirmed by the doctor. I’d been doubtful of the reality of what my wife had told me, but now there was no longer any doubt. And, now all and sundry were about to be informed as to our good fortune.

Ann had driven us to the Pollards’ castle in the sky. Claire had buzzed us up.

I knocked. Claire answered. “Well hello,” she said. “This is a surprise. I mean you calling to come over today, and a welcome one.”

“Well thank you,” said Ann. “I hope this little visit isn’t too much of an inconvenience for you?”

“No, no absolutely not,” said Claire. “And how are you Jim?”

“Good, very good,” I said.

“Well, have a seat,” said Claire.

“Claire,” I said, “we have some news.”

“Really? Okay?” she said. “I hope it’s good news.”

“It is,” I said. “Ann...” I was letting my better half take the lead on this one.

“Well, Claire we’re pregnant, Jim and I,” she said. The look on Claire face was actually comical; well, I thought that it was.

“Oh my God!” screamed Claire. “Congratulations!”

“Well thank you for that,” I said.

“Indeed,” said Ann.

“How? When? Talk!” ordered Claire.

“Well, two days before the wedding I realized that I’d missed my period, I was maybe four weeks overdue. I’m not that regular anymore, but I was feeling kinda funny,” said Ann. “So, I took one of those pregnancy tests you can buy at the pharmacy. It was positive. Then, to be sure and all, I went to the doctor yesterday and he confirmed it; I’m two months along: I’m pregnant as hell.”

“I am just flabbergasted,” said Claire. “But this is wonderful news. Can the two of you stay for dinner? I know that Rodney’s going to want to hear from you guys first hand.” I looked over at Ann. She nodded.

“Okay, sure,” I said.

******

The next months were so busy it was almost too much for me, and I know for a fact it was too much for my wife. But, we did get through it, and here we were in the waiting room.

I was sitting on a stool near the door glancing at that door a dozen times a minute or so it seemed. Rodney and Claire were across from me. They were watching me. The McCreadys were still on their delayed honeymoon, and wouldn’t be back for a few more days. It had evolved that Gerald really wouldn’t accept any big money from the Pollards, and had had to delay their honeymoon to Cabo because they didn’t quite have the money at the time, but they’d saved and now they were in Baja. He did accept one expensive wedding gift, Rebecca had forced him to, but that was it. Oh the gift? It was a new Chevy Silverado. Oh, and he did smile broadly when he saw it.

We’d been informed, three months earlier that Ann would be having twins. That worried me on several fronts. Would her delivery be too difficult for her, would the children—the both of them—be healthy? I was aware that twins were often born underweight. At any rate, I was worried.

Rodney’d been reassuring me, mostly unsuccessfully, the whole three hours we’d been in the room, that everything was going to be fine. Claire for her part seemed as nervous as I was; I wondered at that.

The double doors swung open and the doctor, Doctor Wentworth, Ann’s gynecologist, emerged and he was smiling. I relaxed. The Pollards stared.

“One of each, and they’re healthy,” he said. I didn’t faint, but almost. “The boy was first; she’ll have a big brother.”

I started laughing, uncontrollably. “My God!” I said.

“Oh my!” said Claire, her hand went to her mouth in surprise though, in point of fact, it wasn’t actually a surprise.

Rodney was hugging me. I don’t even know for sure if I realized he was hugging me; I guess I did, but I really wasn’t sure. He pushed himself back a little, his hands firmly gripping my upper arms. Claire stood back, eyes big and looking—something.

“Congratulations, my man, fucking congratulations,” said Rodney Pollard. I started bawling.

“Mister Clausen, you’ll be able to go in shortly. The nurses have to do their thing first. One of them will come and fetch you,” said the doctor. I nodded wiping the torrent from my eyes.

******

We’d been home two days before the Pollards came calling. I was grateful for the brief delay in their appearance. Both Ann and I needed to make plans for their arrival that was both our gift to them and, well, a little revenge for me; and no that isn’t an oxymoron, not in this particular instance.

“Come in, come in,” I said, “Ann’s in the den with the babies.” I led the parade to the den.

“Oh how beautiful they are,” said Claire. Rodney was smiling and standing over her shoulder as I walked around to the other side of the lounge chair she was situated in.

“Becca and Gerald will be home tomorrow, and I’m sure they’ll be by then,” said Claire.

“Good, good,” I said. “I would like to formally introduce you to our babies.” I got a look from Rodney. He’d already met the twins three days before.

“Okay sure,” he said.

“Mister and Missus Pollard I would like to introduce you to our new family members Rodney and Claire Clausen,” I said.

“Huh?” said Rodney.

“Huh?” said Claire.

It was clear that for the moment my words were not tracking well in their conscious minds.

“Oh my God,” said Rodney. The man began to choke up. It was obvious that I had actually stopped him cold in his disbelieving tracks.

He came at me, not to me, but at me and hugged me so hard it actually hurt. Ann got similar treatment from Claire. Then, the two of them switched victims. I even got a kiss on the lips from Claire that did embarrass me a little, not much but a little.

“Jim Clausen, I love you, we love you,” said Claire. “And Ann, you are wonderful and we love you too.” Then everybody was tearing up and then I got the bottle of wine I’d thought to purchase for the occasion, and we toasted each other and the future and the weather and everything else we could think of to toast.

Over the next little while, the two visitors held the babies taking turns with the each of them. Then, Ann put the babies to bed in their cribs. Then we adults finished the bottle of wine while talking incessantly and mindlessly about the day’s happenings and the future.

“Jim, can you and I talk a little?” he said. “I mean man talk.” I nodded. We headed outside to the patio. At least the weather was half way decent; it had been so damnably cold earlier in the year. But, this was April, and it had warmed up since the babies arrivals.

******

“We’ve come a long way, man,” he said.

“Yeah, that’s so,” I said.

“Jim, I was king of the assholes doing all that I did. That you’ve been willing, I might even say able, to forgive me. I, well, I have no words. I just want to thank you so damn much and guarantee you that I will always have your back and Ann’s forevermore,” he said. He was being so earnest I almost wanted to laugh, but I didn’t.

“Well thank you for that, all of that,” I said. “But it’s all good now. The past is behind us. Tell Claire that when you get home. I want her to know that it’s all good. Okay? And you’ve done enough for us already.”

“I will tell her; I promise you that,” he said. “And Jim, We want to be the babies’ godparents. Okay?” he said. I nodded. I hadn’t even thought of that. But it seemed the right thing to do given everything.

We headed back inside. The two women were in deep conversation.

“We have a babysitter whenever the need might arise,” said Ann as we came in.

“Good,” I said, “that’s good.”

“And there’s something else,” said Claire.

“Oh,” I said.

“Yes,” she said. “And, I’ve already cleared it with Ann.”

I looked askance at my wife, no, suspicion, definitely suspicion painting my features I was sure. “Ann?” I said.

“Yes, dear,” she said.

“You and I have a date,” said Claire, “at the Crossroads tomorrow evening.”

“Huh?” I said.

“Yes. You just got done having your ‘man’ talk with Rodney. Tomorrow night we are going to have an ex-spouses talk, oh and a lot of fun,” she said. My look caused a typhoon of purposeful laughter to erupt in the Clausen household.

******

“So you’re going to have it out with him tomorrow night,” said Rodney.

“I wouldn’t put it exactly like that. More a case of him finally coming to grips with several truths,” said Claire.

“Truths?” he said.

“Yes, one, that you and I still love him and that we have since day one and still do. Two, he has to let us help him when it comes to his family’s medical stuff. We, you and I, know for a fact that he has no clue how much those legs of his cost and are going to cost: he could never afford them, not those particular ones. Three, both he and Ann need to realize that we are going to be true and real godparents to our namesakes. And four, that I, and I mean ‘I’, still love him in every way and that he should have let me prove that to him back in the day.

And, yes Rodney, I love you even more than I ever did him; but that said, he was never able to understand my need to have the both of you both in my heart and in my bed. And yes, all of that is by the boards now; but it was true at the time. That he has found true love in Ann, well, that had to be an act of divine intervention. So yes, several truths,” she said. He nodded.

“And you figure to get him to accept all of that?” said Rodney.

“I do. I know it’s going to be hard for him, some of it, even now. But, I’m going to give him the skinny, the truth, of all of it tomorrow. He’s going to finally understand our commitment to him and his family; and, that we are not brooking any damn demur on his part,” she said.

“Whew, you’ve brokered yourself and big ass challenge there woman mine,” he said. “But, I’m with you. And, yes, I do know that I can’t be with you for this one. It has to be you, and you have to be convincing as hell!”

“That is a fact,” she said, “oh, yeah, that is a fact.”

******

We’d just finished eating lunch when I heard the knock on the door.

“Well hello McCreadys,” I said. “Come in, come in.”

“Good to see you again, dad,” said Gerald. He’d stopped me for the briefest of moments.

“Well, hi to you too, Gerald,” I said.

“Hi dad,” said Rebecca. “We just got in three hours ago. It was great by the way. We loved Cabo.”

“Well, good,” I said. “We want to hear all about it. But first your siblings await you.” I ushered them into the den, Ann’s favorite hangout when she wasn’t doing stuff.

The lounge chair had become her territory. “Well hi,” said Ann. “You guys look—something.”

“Yes, anxious to see my brother and sister,” said Rebecca.

She went to Ann and peered into the eyes of the little boy.

“And this is?” said Becca.

“Your dad didn’t tell you?” I said.

“Haven’t been to dad and mom’s place yet. Wanted to come here first. We’ll be going over there tomorrow,” said Rebecca.

I was surprised. Maybe I shouldn’t have been but I was. I think it was the first time that Ann and I had been first on Rebecca’s list in anything. At any rate I couldn’t think of an exception to such.

Rebecca had been eyeing her brother, half-brother, but now she turned to the rocking sleeper next to Ann’s chair. She reached in and stroked the baby’s cheek. “They’re beautiful,” she said.

“This is Rodney and that’s Claire Clausen,” said Ann with a straight face.

“Huh?” said Rebecca.

“Rodney and Claire,” I said, also deadpanning.

“Dad?” said Rebecca.

“Huh?” said Gerald, also not knowing exactly what to say.

“Yes, they are named after them,” I said, “for all of the kindnesses they’ve shown us.”

“Oh my,” said Rebecca. “Mom and dad must’ve gone nuts hearing that.”

“Hmm, a bit of an overstatement, but I do think that they were happy about it, yes,” I said.

The party was underway. And it was a party; three bottles of wine consumed makes it a party. They had to hear about how the two senior Pollards reacted to having the babies named after them and why. And we had to hear about their honeymoon in Cabo San Lucas.

I had to allow that Ann and I were hoping to vacation down Baja way one of these days. We couldn’t afford it at the moment and of course the babies would need a sitter who was family even when we could. And yes, Claire had previously volunteered, but it was too soon for any of that now even if we could afford a vacation like the one the kids just got back from which, again, we couldn’t.

“Well one of these days,” I said, finally talking about us going down to Cabo.

Ann smiled. “Yes, honey, we’ll be going but not quite yet. The babies are going to need to get settled in first,” she said, laughing.

“For darn sure,” I said.

CHAPTER 26:

Ann drove me to my “date” with Claire. I could have done it: driven with my hand controls, but it was still a challenge, and so I didn’t do it often.

The babies were in the care of Becca while Ann and I drove me to the Crossroads. Becca had volunteered at our little party earlier the day before once she’d heard about the proposed meet up of Claire and me.

We pulled into the parking lot. She gave me a kiss and told me to behave myself. I allowed that I would likely not be given the opportunity to do aught else, and she laughed.

“You never know, stud. We women are more than unpredictable,” she said.

“Yeah, right,” I said. And then I was walking into I knew not what.

I’d no more than gotten in the door than Jackie Dela Torre intercepted me and led me to a table at the far end of the room. The two of us would not be exactly cloistered, but we were kind of out of the way of foot traffic. I counted that as a good thing.

The drinks were already on the table and Claire’s was half gone.

“Well hello, stud,” she said. She and Ann would have to get their act together at some point. Their scripts were beginning to be tritely repetitive.

“Hmm, yes, stud: that’s me,” I said. “It was in the newspapers.” She snickered.

“Well, have a seat,” she said, and she moved over a bit clearly indicating that I should sit beside her not across from her—weird. I did as she asked; this was her show, a show I’d like to have read the synopsis of ahead of time.

She took a sip of her drink. That kinda woke me up. I picked up my drink and took a sip too.

“So—okay—what am I supposed to do?” I said.

“Well, this is our date. It’s been a long time in coming. But, I think we need to go slow. We’ll have our drinks. We’ll talk a little. And, I mean if you want, you could ask me to dance. You know when the DJ gets his act together,” she said.

“Okay, but I’m gonna need at least one more of these before we do much else. Would that be all right?” I said.

“Of course it would be all right, kind sir,” she said. “So, did the kids show up today? I assumed they did because I know you needed a babysitter for a little while. Ann and I talked.”

“Uh, yes, well Becca did. She said they’d been to your place earlier today,” I said.

“I need to say, and I know I’ve already said it; but I’m honored that you did what you did with the names,” said Claire. I nodded.

The DJ was starting. The first song was a slow one. I went for it. “Would you honor me with a dance pretty lady,” I said.

“Well of course, kind sir,” she said.

We made it to the dance floor; I don’t think I looked too crippled. We flowed slowly around. She melded herself to me and it felt oh so good. Oh, and she wasn’t wearing a bra. It brought back memories I’d pushed to the uttermost back of my mind afraid to even think about them. Now, I was thinking about them and I didn’t feel bad thinking about them. I had to believe that she knew what she was doing. What was absolutely true was that I didn’t know what I was doing.

The song ended and I led her back to our booth.

Our second round of drinks was delivered. We sipped them slowly and with feeling. She was sitting close to me. The smell of her was oh so female. Oddly, I was thinking of Ann. Yes, she smelled just like Ann. It had to be by design, but would she? Could she have? Weird!

Jimmy put your arm around me. I need you to cheat a little,” she said.

“Cheat!” I said. Suddenly I was confused.

“Just do as you’re told,” she said. I did as she told me, but tentatively. She snuggled up against me.

“Jimmy, I arranged for us to have this evening together because I have some things I need to talk to you about, and to kind of demonstrate how it is that you and I and yes Rodney too need to deal with each other from here on out. Would that be all right?” she said. “Please say it’s all right, Mister, please?”

“Okay, I guess so,” I said. The music continued to be slower R&B stuff: my kind of music. Claire’s too if it came to that, well, it used to be.

“Jimmy tonight is a real date and a real watershed for our future relationships: yours, mine, Rod’s, and Ann’s,” she said.

“Huh? Okay. But huh?” I said.

“Just go with the flow. I’m leading tonight. Okay?” she said.

“Okay,” I said.

“Okay, well, Jimmy that day so long ago when you caught me and Rod doing it, it wasn’t the bad thing you thought that it was. I had every intention of remaining your wife. I loved you then and I love you now, and yes I mean that way. Of course you’re married now to a wonderful woman, and I’m married to a wonderful guy. And before I go any farther I need to get a couple of things straight with you about this little date. Both Ann and Rodney know what I’m going to be doing and talking about tonight. And, I need you to let me do and talk. Of course at appropriate moments you can ask questions or comment what all. Okay?” she said.

“I guess so, yes,” I said.

“Okay then. Jimmy, one: I need you to realize that I am not shitting you when I say that I love you. The physical stuff is almost by the boards now; well, it will be after tonight. I’m with Rod and you’re with Ann. I see those as good things. I see those things at base as putting an end to the bitterness and heartache that has characterized our relationship, yours and mine, for so long. Are you with me Mister?”

“Yes, ma’am, I am,” I said. And, I was.

“Okay then and two: Jimmy, you are a proud and strong man. Yes, you’ve lost your legs and that is something that weighs on me and Rodney too, every day, heck every waking hour of every day. Rodney, without even talking to me about it got those specially made artificial legs for you and arranged for you to have them adjusted, as you will need to do periodically forever, at no cost to you. Jim, you have to accept that from us as our gift to you for all you have done for us. No argument, Jim. You owe it to yourself to let us pick up the tab for it. We’re rich, super rich actually, and the cost is no big deal for us in that respect as it definitely would be for you—way beyond you actually. Also, you owe it to your wife to be able to be able to walk and dance with her and all of it. The legs will allow you to do more for her than you otherwise might,” she said. “Oh, and she’ll be getting a leg like yours in the near future as well.”

“Claire, I knew that these legs were going to be expensive; that’s pretty damn obvious. And, I got a call a week ago from Grayson for an appointment next month to adjust the calibrations on them as the woman said. She wouldn’t tell me, or maybe didn’t know what the cost would be for the adjustment, when I asked her; but Claire I’m asking you,” I said.

She looked at me kind of sheepishly. “Do you really need to know, Jim? There really is no purpose to you knowing,” she said. “There is no upside to you knowing, really, I’m afraid it’ll just weigh on you.”

“Claire, I need to know. I know they’re expensive like I said. They’re computers for goodness sake. But Claire, I need to know, please. And, let me ease you mind. I will not let knowing weigh on me, not at all. Okay?”

“Okay, then Jim. Rodney told me that if you had to know that I had to tell you. So this is it James Clausen. The legs were $70,000 dollars. The estimated cost for servicing them over the lifetime of the user, you, is upwards of two million. The payments are automatically made when due without stint or delay. Jimmy, Rodney has arranged for that against all possible eventualities. Do not over think this. Jimmy we, Rod and I, are worth upwards of four billion. I’m telling you this, not as a matter of personal conceit believe me. No it’s because I want it out in the open because I do not want to be fighting this battle with your proud self every which time in the future. Yes, we’re rich, and we’re alive to be rich because of you! O-fucking-kay!” she said. I nodded. The numbers she was dumping on me were overwhelming; nodding was the best I could do.

“Sweet Jesus!” I said. “I knew that these things cost money. A friend of mine who was in the Army, a guy I met here at the Crossroads, told me they were likely around twenty grand. But that much . . .”

“Maybe the military can get them cheaper or the VA or something, but I can tell you I do know what I’m talking about,” she said. “Jimmy, are we okay on this one?”

“Okay yes,” I said. “I have to say I’m a little shaken here by the sheer size of the numbers you’ve laid on me, but okay.”

“That’s why I didn’t want to tell you the cost. But again, Rod told me that I had to tell you if you insisted on knowing. So, well, I have,” she said.

“And one more thing, Jim,” she said.

There’s more?” I said.

“Jim, I know that Rod mentioned to you our desire to be godparents to the babies, our namesakes. And, I know you agreed. I just want to double down on what Rod already told you. We aim to be actual godparents not merely ceremonial ones. If anything were to happen to either you or Ann, well, those two children will never have a damn thing to worry about,” she said. “Okay?”

“Okay,” I said.

“I think it’s time to tour the dance floor again. I mean if you’re up for it,” I said.

She smiled big time and I led her out amongst ‘em.

Back in our seats I felt her hand come to rest on where the remnant of my right leg met my pubic area. I could feel my face flush. She looked at me and smiled.

“You look warm,” she said, knowing damn well what she was doing to me. “You can let your hand rest on my breast if you like. This is a date and we are adults.” I swallowed and dared the undareable. I felt her up.

“I shouldn’t . . .” I said, but I didn’t stop from doing what I was doing. I don’t think I could have; it was a hot moment.

“It’s okay big boy, but you’re going to have to do your wife up pretty good tonight or in the morning,” she said, giggling.

“For damn sure,” I said.

******

We drank and danced a couple more times. And then I laid it on her. It had occurred to me while we were dancing that she’d laid it on me, all of the stuff from all of the years before, from her point of view and maybe Rod’s. It occurred to me that I needed to do the same, but from my point of view.

It was getting late. We were on our third round. “Claire, you told me tonight, earlier, how you see and saw things, and made a good case for the way things should be going forward and how maybe things should have played out back in the day. Would you be okay with me venting a little too,” I said.

She looked over at me, nodded and narrowed her eyes a little bit. “Okay,” she said, “sure.” She’d said “sure,” but it was a slow sure and well it might have been.

“Claire, over so many years I’ve gone over everything that happened in those early days after our breakup many times. I think I’ve pretty much figured it all out too. I mean the why it all happened as well as the how,” I said.

“Okay” she said.

“I know from his own mouth, Rodney’s, that he came on to you, not you onto him. It is true that you gave in awfully easily, and after long consideration that hurt me more than his part in it. Damn few men were going to be able to resist you, Claire, and Rodney Pollard was not one of those who were going to be an exception to that rule.

“You know, I might only be a retired truck driver, Claire, but I’m no dummy. I read a lot. I’ve learned about people through my reading. After the breakup I began to think or realize, take your choice, that you never really loved me. The fact is that Rodney told me, or maybe implied it might be a better word, that although I’d gotten my bid in first to be your husband he said that you never should have married me. I thought he was full of shit at the time, but then I met Nadine and we did good for a while. And then I met Ann and now we’re doing good. I learned from my experiences with them, Claire, that sexually I never got your ‘A’ game. And that’s when I realized you never really loved me. You liked me. You were willing to help me get my rocks off, but love me? No. You thought I was an okay guy, and you saw me as a duty, a responsibility because you married me. But, when Rod put pressure on you to leave me and he did, even if it didn’t seem like he did, you caved.

“Jimmy, it is not true that I didn’t love you. I did and I do. No, not as much as I love Rodney. I would never claim that. But, you sure as hell were never chopped liver. Tonight this little date is a real one. It’s going to undoubtedly be the last one, but it is a real one. And, yes it’s a little bit crazy. As crazy as my proposal to you the day you discovered Rod and me in that guest room. He and I had fun those days, but we had not at the time gotten emotionally involved; that happened later,” she said.

“No, Claire, that is simply not true. I think it was Malraux who said that ‘men are nothing more than a miserable little pile of secrets,’ something like that. That was the two of you. Three years of secrets. What secrets? Of course I have no way of knowing the details of any of that, but I can guess,” I said.

“Jimmy . . .” she started.

“It would be my guess,” I said interrupting her, “that the two of you, but especially you, were always comparing me with him. And, I’m guessing here, but not really, that I came off badly in the comparison. Can you deny it, Claire?” I said. She looked away.

“Hmm, yes,” I said. “Can’t fault your honesty.

“Claire, for all of it, I see myself as guilty in all of this as either of you two. I could have had a life, gotten on with things as a half dozen people have advised me to do over these past many years. And, I did try believe it or not. But, every time I did something happened that kicked me in the gut and sent me back to being the loser I ultimately became,” I said.

“Huh?” she said. “What are you talking about, loser! You are no loser buster and never were. A dummy? Yeah maybe. You could easily sell me on that one. But never a loser, never!”

“Hmm, whatever. After Rebecca was born, or rather after I found out she’d been born, I damn near died of frustration. Him being with you. Him being her main and real daddy, me broke and ruined and emotionally destroyed. What did I have to live for but hate,” I said.

“Jimmy, you needed a woman. I knew that. Everybody knew it. That would have solved the problem, everything,” she said.

“A woman, yes, but the woman I wanted didn’t want me. I will say I did try, and eventually I did score with Nadine. She was what I needed. But then . . .” I said.

“But then you saved us. You were and are my hero. And, for what it’s worth your Rod’s too,” she said.

“A fucking hero? I wanted my kid to love me, and she didn’t. I wanted an ex-wife to at least not diss me on a regular basis, and I didn’t get that either . . .”

“Jim, whatever you think, Becca loves you, she does,” said Claire.

“Really? As long as we’re being honest here, tell me you weren’t coaching her to be nice to me. Tell me she was thrilled to be around me, especially after half of my body was chopped off? Tell me, Claire,” I said. “Tell me she thinks of me as a real father, not just some low level uncle!”

“Jimmy, yes, I admit to advising her to say the right things to you because you were so emotionally unstable. I knew it. Rod knew it. And, as young as Becca was at the time, she sensed it too. And if it matters, now that she’s an adult, she has come to love you as much as she ever loved Rodney. More, she respects you. And she does consider you as a father, not her only one, no; but one of two real dads not any uncle shit, believe me. But, as for that, I think Ann gets some of the credit there: she’s trained you right, and you seem to, well, to have become an adult yourself. And, that’s not a knock on you. Hell no it’s not! You’ve had pressures on you the like of which Job would have had to respect,” she said.

“Hmm,” I said.

“Jimmy, we start new tonight. Okay,” she said.

“I guess, I think we do,” I said. “Oh, and because of you, I guarantee you that Ann is going to get a truly legendary screwing tonight!”

“Yes, well I damn well hope so. She deserves one, I mean a good one,” said Claire.

******

Claire drove me home. The kids had gone once Ann had returned from dropping me at the Crossroads. They were slated to return the following Saturday for a small barbecue that Ann had planned for us all.

Claire and I sat in the car silent for some minutes before either of us spoke. She broke the ice.

“It’s customary for the man to ask the girl for a kiss at the end of a nice date,” she said. I didn’t answer her. I leaned in and kissed her sweetly on the lips. I let the kiss linger for a moment.

And just like that all was good again. Claire and I would never have another date, but this last one was the catalyst for ending all of the angst and bitterness that had assailed me for three decades.

******

“So, how was your date, stud,” said Ann, as I closed the door behind me.

“Good, good. But, I have something I need to do. Claire actually kinda put me up to it,” I said.

“Huh?” said Ann.

“Yeah, she said you deserve a good screwing and I had better be up to the task,” I said.

“Oh, she did did she,” said Ann, but she was smiling.

******