Fitness and health trade shows are notorious for debauchery and raucous parties. The trade floor is lined with stereotypical meathead guys and scantily clad female models. Exhibitions are less about the features and benefits of equipment and more about who has the most alluring eye candy. Deals are closed "after hours," often in private parties where older male executives sign contracts on the naked bodies of much younger… “spokesmodels."
Early in my career, I attended a trade show with my boyfriend Kevin, who witnessed the spectacle firsthand. Since then, Kevin has been very reluctant to participate in shows and throws a fit when I am assigned to attend. Such was the case when I told him I was assigned to assist a new sales rep at a big show in the Southwest.
While packing my bags the night before my flight, Kevin was especially snarking and demeaning. "Don't forget your condoms and whipped cream," Kevin grumbled as he walked past me into the bathroom.
"Just stop. It's MY JOB, Kevin. I don't have a choice," I yelled through the shut door.
Kevin yelled, "You always have a choice. Find a new job; you're basically a prostitute!"
"Thanks for the vote of confidence there, Kev. Go fuck yourself!" I screamed as I slammed my suitcase shut. I walked away as Kevin was mumbling a pathetic response about getting fucked. Honestly, at this point, I was now looking forward to a few days out in Phoenix.
I left the house at 5 am to catch my flight and out the door before Kevin woke up. Just as well, I didn't need any more of his childishness before the trip.
After landing and deboarding the plane, my fitness watch updated the local time to just before noon. I was already exhausted from the flight and early morning. I texted the new rep Deborah that I would meet her at baggage claim. Deborah was young, straight out of Arizona State University, and fresh to the territory. I was looking forward to meeting her and getting settled into the hotel. It didn't take long to spot Deborah as I descended the escalator to retrieve my bags. Fitness reps tend to look alike, and Deborah was straight out of central casting. Blonde, tan, and fit, with a great butt and even better boobs. She glowed like a firefly in the dismal airport, and that was the point of her employment.
As she preferred to be called, Deb talked my ear off in the rental car to our hotel. She was a lovely girl who was excited about the show and had high hopes for her career. I helped her check into the Hilton, and we agreed to meet in the lobby that evening to head over to a networking event. I entered my room and immediately fell to the bed for a much-needed nap.
After the siesta, I showered and ordered a meal to put some food in me before the inevitable drinking that awaited me that night. I opened my suitcase, and sitting right smack dab on top of my clothes was my clear glass dildo with a note from Kevin.
"Don't forget this so you can earn your money!"
Ugh, what an asshole.
I threw it to the side and continued getting ready.
The networking event was typical, with lots of hugs and fake smiles. I was happy to see some familiar faces, including Sandra, who helped train me when I was first starting out. Sandra was a legend in our company and is currently the head of Southeast Sales. Sandra told me that a national gym chain was in attendance. They were about to announce a comprehensive rebranding that included a multiyear plan to renovate all of their locations, including all new equipment. These national deals are rare, so everyone was chatting about the potential. Having worked with this brand, Precision Fitness, Sandra had the inside track for years. She told me purchasing would be segmented by region, but smaller areas could be combined for a grander scale. My territory was one of the smallest footprints within the chain. Still, if I could work this deal correctly, I could land a lucrative spot in the buying.
The next day I walked Deborah around the trade floor, visiting established partners and introducing ourselves to new exhibitors. I purposely walked a path to allow ample time at Precision. I arrived at the booth and saw Sandra deep in conversation with an older female with a Precision VP name card. After their discussion broke, Sandra quietly told me the deal was ours to lose. Preliminary negotiations were advancing to the deal stage. Sandra explained that my territory through upper New England would be combined through one rep. Sandra wanted me to take the lead. To say I was elated would be an understatement. This was a career-making account, and I was ready. Sandra told me to bring Deb to dinner that night, and she would introduce me to the lead buyer.
I met Deb and Sandra in the hotel lobby hours later. Sandra and I were wearing business suits, albeit with tighter-than-usual skirts. Deb greeted us in a barely there cocktail dress, with a loose-fitting top and skirt that was maybe 5" when pulled down. Sandra rolled her eyes, and we left for the restaurant.
The hostess showed us to our table, where we greeted the female VP and the buyer, Rick. It was very obvious to everyone that Rick was captivated by young Deb. We ordered dinners after drinks and discussed the usual industry topics. Halfway through dinner, I noticed Deb was cozying up to Rick, and they were whispering in each other's ears. I placed Rick at around fifty years old. He had black and grey peppered hair, was about 5'10" tall, and was fit but not muscular. He had what we now refer to as a "Dad Bod" and a wedding ring. Sandra appeared unaffected by the flirtatious chatter between Rick and Deb.
The waitress asked how we wanted the check. Before Sandra could raise her hand, Rick interrupted, "Actually, I'd like to order a bottle of champagne before we leave."
Deb giggled and whispered inaudibly into Rick's ear. The female VP stood up and said, "Great, you two have fun. I am heading home. Sandra, Rebecca, care to split an Uber?" We agreed and left Deb with Rick after they both assured us they would not be late and Deb would let me know she arrived back at the hotel safely.
I had a morning conference with an established customer, so I told Deb I would meet her at the trade show after lunch. While waiting for Deb, Sandra saw me near the doorway and walked over. Before Sandra could say a word, we both heard a squeal and Deb running our way.
"I got it!! I got the account!!" Deb shrieked.
"What account?" Sandra asked.
"THE account. Rick said he wants a local rep to handle the entire COUNTRY!" Deb exclaimed, bouncing up and down.
I felt like I was going to throw up. Sandra deadpanned and asked Deb, "So you fucked him?"
"What? No! Eww, no," she said defensively. Sandra then explained how the rep and territory network operated in our company. Deb was growing increasingly frustrated and repeatedly told that it was what the customer wanted. Sandra instructed us to make our rounds on the floor and that she would talk to Precision Fitness.
About an hour later, Sandra calls me and says, "Well, Britney Spears is right. Rick wants her to manage the whole damn account." My heart stopped, and Sandra continued, "I explained how one rep can't manage all the locations, but he is set on Debbie playing a major role. I got him to agree to meet with you this afternoon to get to know you and have you explain the technical aspects Deb is too green to know." I agreed and headed over to Precision to find Rick.
Rick greeted me and immediately barked, "I know it's how your company works, Rebecca, but I feel strongly that Deb should run our account from here in Pheonix."
I politely nodded and said, "Rick, I am not here to sell you. I want to take the opportunity to give you a presentation on our core equipment and allow you to ask questions while I am here. Deb can be your go-to, but she's still learning the technical aspects of the equipment."
Rick agreed, and for the next two hours, we poured over brochures, warranties, and slides. I could tell Rick was overwhelmed, and that was my intention. Rick asked about the safety mechanisms on our elliptical and stationary bikes. I frantically dug through my materials and realized I must've left them in my main suitcase. Embarrassed, I explained to Rick that we needed to table that topic and that I'd email him. But he was insistent. I think he wanted to pressure me, so I let up on him.
"I am staying at the Marriot next door. Can you get the brochures and meet me back in the lobby?" he asked. I agreed, and we headed back to the hotel complex. At that point, I wanted to keep Rick's attention, so I told him he was welcome to come to my room while I got the documents.
We entered my room, and I headed straight for my suitcase on the couch. As I found the documents, Rick said, "Ha, what in the world is this!?!"
I saw Rick holding the glass dildo Kevin put in my bag. Mortified, I quickly said, "A gag gift! Oh my god, I am so sorry. Inside joke with a friend here. I apologize!"