My husband thought for a moment. “Well, yes, I guess I’ve thought about that. As a pure fantasy, I mean.” I’d asked him if he fantasized, or maybe dreamed, about watching other men having sex with me. I was pretty certain he had but I wanted to hear that from him. Yes, I’ll grant the same fantasy appealed to me in a general way. That was one of the reasons I wanted to know. For me, though, it’s not the sex part but the having my husband watch me part I think about. When we have sex, especially when I’m performing oral on him, I love seeing how he reacts to what I’m doing. I suppose it’s a kind of voyeurism, visually checking how a man reacts to me sexually. In one of my versions of the fantasy, I’m sucking on a huge dick as hubby watches. I can see every expression and emotion he has. I can ask him, over and over, if he sees me and if he likes what he sees.
Up until college I strongly repressed my sexuality. I was raised by women who saw sex as a silly activity men, for some unknown masculine reason, insisted on. If it had to be done, it should be as grudgingly and as seldom as possible. Sometimes I wonder how there were any babies in my mother's family at all! My early sexual fantasies were vague and usually in aid of some basic masturbation.
But in college, I met girls who were guiltlessly open about their sexuality – and everyone else’s, as well. I learned a lot from them. I gave up my virginity to a guy I met in my second year. He’s also the man I am in love with and am still married to. But for the most part, I was still inhibited and anxious to keep sex non-adventurous. It wasn’t until I was about twenty that it came to me that I might be…well, what men call a babe. Not modest, I know, but I’ve heard myself described that way enough times to believe it. Still, I knew I was often a sexual disappointment to my husband, and that bothered me.
I guess I was working up to a breakaway from that inhibition when I got involved in an extreme group situation. Well, the truth is, I was the woman in a gang bang! With a lot of men. I still shudder with embarrassment at that. I can tell myself that it’s all simply sex, but letting around twenty or so men screw me is still pretty slutty. At least, it seems slutty to me. Even so, the concept – being group-fucked by a bunch of men – is still arousing to me. I wonder how many women speculate about what that would be like. Yes, I did tell my husband about it, though not in all the details. He’s still a bit shocked, I think. But, I’m happy to say, it doesn’t seem to have damaged our relationship. I’ve also been diligent in trying to go along with any sexual desires he voices. I owe him that.
On the only occasion we discussed my gang bang, I actually told him I might agree to do it again under some circumstances. Not really, though. At least not anything like that insane cluster-bang I experienced. Seriously…I can’t believe I’m saying these things! I can just picture my mother's shock and disapproval. But yes, I might do it with somebody, or even a small group, if Tim asked me to. So, I’d been probing to see if he might. Not a gang bang, but watching me getting done by someone else. Finally he asked, “You keep coming back to that. What’s up? You thinking of becoming a porn star or something?”
“I would for you. Your private porn girl, if you’d like that. I mean, you take those digital photos of me. You have a ton of them. And I know you look at those selfies of me... with your cock in my mouth. You like that, don’t you?” I was caressing his growing hard-on as we spoke.
“Yeah, of course I do.” Tim’s erections have always been impressive to me, and super hard. But I had him really going tonight.
“I want to make your fantasies come true, that's all. Whatever you’d like.”
He fixed his eyes on the wall behind me, obviously contemplating that. “That would be…I don’t know. What makes you so willing all of a sudden? You’ve never been super keen on sex before. Oh, wait. Does this have something to do with fucking those guys? What... are looking to be a hot wife?”
“I just want to be more sensual for you. But only if you want me to. I’m totally not interested in the hot wife thing.” And I wasn’t, not really. But I did, most certainly, want him to watch me performing sex. “But I think you’d like to see me doing sex.”
He hesitated for several seconds. “Maybe. In theory, anyway."
_
We took a long weekend in mid-July to camp at one of our favorite beach areas. Our tent was set about fifty yards from the surf, just over some low dunes. The nearest tents were maybe 150 feet away on either side. A forty-something couple set up their tent to our north. The tent to the south belonged to two young men. I noticed them checking me out almost immediately. I suppose I wasn’t shy about displaying myself, either.
Of course my husband picked that up too. “I think you have those two drooling.”
“Hmm… look like college age. They can dream.” But I was going over possibilities in my mind. Apparently, so was Tim. “Would you do either of them?”
I wasn’t sure how to respond. A too-casual response seemed wrong. “Not on my own. I mean, I don’t have an interest in other men just for sex. Like when we talked… I’d do it for you to watch, maybe.” It seemed I still couldn’t leave that fantasy idea behind. And, actually, both those guys were decent looking so it probably wouldn’t be unpleasant. Tim didn’t say anything more.
While he was storing away our cooler and other gear, I took a trash bag to the nearby receptacle. One of the young men approached as I was turning back so we began talking. He told me they had just finished their first year at a nearby Ivy League university. This outing was in celebration. They were headed home the following morning. We walked back to my tent, where I introduced him to Tim. Evidently, the friend had gone off somewhere with a girl they’d met earlier on the beach.