“You’re a real ass, you know that?”
The voice on the other end of the line was silent, but I just knew he was smiling, I could feel it.
“Hello to you too,” he finally replied.
“I want you to take down that ad.”
“Now where’s the fun in that?” he asked.
Asshole. If I’d had reservations about being in a relationship with him at the time, then I was certainly having them again now that we were broken up. Prick.
“Take down that ad, now,” I said through gritted teeth. On the other end, he laughed mockingly. “I have been fielding questions all morning, from people who have seen that ad, thinking I am interested in random sex hookups or certain sexual acts. I am not. Take down that ad, and my information.”
“How many people have called?”
“I can’t believe I ever told you about that,” I said mournfully.
“Well you did, so deal with it.” The phone clicked and then the line went silent.
I threw my phone down on the counter beside me, not caring if it got damaged. I could feel my anger clawing at my chest, trying to burst through me. Mixed in with that anger were hot tears of sadness that I felt like I couldn’t control. One more small thing and they would come gushing out of me, and once I started crying, I didn’t know if I’d be able to stop myself. I needed an outlet. Something to get rid of my frustrations.
Storming into my bathroom, I rummaged around the medicine cabinet, trying to find something, anything, to make me feel better. Well, feeling better may have been a stretch. I wanted to feel put-together, however temporary, rather than constantly on the verge of angry crying.
Apparently, all my medicine cabinet held for me was a beat-up packet of ibuprofen. The hot, angry tears threatened to spill out, but, clenching my fists, I managed to hold them off.
Coming back into the living room, I toyed with the idea of texting Will. He could always come through for me, and his prices were very reasonable. I picked up my phone, my fingers knowing exactly what to tap out. Before I could change my mind, I hit the send button and waited.
Will was an ex from high school that I had stayed chummy with. A successful accountant, I never understood why he still sold drugs on the side, but he did, and there was more than one occasion I had been very thankful for that.
My phone lit up with the message, and those ever-present tears started to well up again.
‘Sorry, doll, out of town until the 31st. Talk soon. X’
Well, now what the fuck was I supposed to do? I closed my eyes against the torrent of tears that threatened to spill out. I breathed in and out deeply for a few moments, finding tranquility from somewhere inside me, no doubt hidden deep. Sighing, I went back into the bathroom, retrieved the tatty packet of ibuprofen, and downed four. What a mess this whole thing was. How could he be so cruel? Why was he being so cruel?
My relationship with Joey had been a mess right from the start, but I had stuck with him from go to woe, telling myself that it would get better and he would change, but he didn’t.
He was constantly in and out of work, one time even proudly exclaiming to me that he’d told his boss to go fuck himself. On the surface, I stayed neutral, but inside I was rolling my eyes and shaking my head, debating with myself whether or not to tell him about the social hierarchy, and that bosses generally do tell people how to do their jobs and what needs to be done.
The final straw came when I got home from a work trip, and some titty bar tramp was standing in my living room. I kicked her out first, with him following a very close second.
That had been three months ago, and I still wasn’t coping. Joey’s behavior wasn’t helping either, and now I was getting phone calls from idiots off the internet who had read the fake advert he had put out.
I regretted the words almost as soon as they had flown out of my mouth. I knew I shouldn’t have told him one of my deepest fantasies, but he had a way of coaxing information out of people. But still, at the time, I’d never have dreamed that he would do something like this. That was the thing with Joey, each time it would seem that he couldn’t sink any lower, but then he would. He’d always been full of surprises.
The call came later on that evening, and when I checked my phone and saw ‘unknown number’ on the screen, a slew of swear words were already falling into place in my mouth. The swears, however, were halted, when I heard a rather meek sounding female voice on the other end.
“I-is this Sammi?” The voice was nervous. Very nervous.
“Yes, it is,” I replied.
The voice hesitated again but finally spoke. “My name is Grace, and I-I-I saw your advert online.”
“Sorry to disappoint Grace, but my ex put that up as a way to get back at me.”
“Oh,” Grace said in a small voice. She then gave a nervous laugh. “Figures that it wasn’t real, the good ones never are real.”
“Sorry,” I said again.
“Well… Have a good night,” Grace said, hanging up.
I stared at the fading light of my phone screen before slowly placing it back down next to me. I felt shaken up inside, but I didn’t know why. Was it the fact that a female had read the ad, however fake? Was it her polite nervousness? It occurred to me that she too could have been fake, used by some creep trying to increase his chances of success, but my gut was telling me that wasn’t the case. She didn’t strike me as being fake.
Sleeplessly laying in bed that night, listening to the patter of constant rainfall on the roof, my insides were churning with so many mixed emotions. I was a ticking time bomb, I knew it, but I didn’t know what to do about it. Mixed in with all my buried anger and sadness at Joey was a new feeling. Curiosity. I was curious, and in more ways than one.
I was curious about the ad itself, and what Joey had written. I mean, I knew the gist of it. After several hundred phone calls from random numbers, I had a fair idea of what it said, but I needed to see it in the flesh. I needed to read it, digest each and every word. Had Joey written something facetious about me? It wouldn’t be outside the realms of possibility for Joey to be even more of a wank stain and write something horrible or misogynist.
I was definitely curious about Grace. Grace wasn’t just an anxious voice on the end of a phone, she was a living, breathing person just like me. Like anyone else. I had to assume that she was also curious about it. How else would she have found the ad?
---------------------------------------
I was no stranger to pornography. I’d started watching it somewhat regularly a few years ago, after attending a twenty-first where it had been playing on a TV, for everyone to see.
My immediate surprised disgust faded and turned into an odd state of embarrassed arousal. I was embarrassed that I was stealing glances at the screen, embarrassed at the effect it was having on me. Then I was confused. Confused as to why watching two people get it on should arouse me. I had never been a voyeur. I never spent much time thinking about it. And yet, there I was, drinking cheap beer, scolding myself for looking at the TV, feeling aroused.
As soon as I got home, I rubbed one out quickly, my clit hard and my pussy wet. It had been a rather clumsy masturbation session and I had cum quickly, but that was of little matter. What mattered, was that it had opened me up to the world of porn and the many, many different types of it that existed.
My taste varied on what I liked to watch and what I found arousing, and with each new thing I discovered, my own fantasies and curiosities grew. With a simple click of the mouse and a few hits of the keyboard, I could search for anything my heart desired. And search I did.
I discovered what would become my deepest fantasy, quite by accident. It just appeared in front of my eyes, and after a quick second where I disregarded what I saw, something inside me changed, a switch was flicked over.
Of course, I had to research what I had discovered and I became quite the scientist, finding videos and clips I liked, seeking them out each time I decided to watch porn and masturbate.
My first mistake was telling Joey about a particular video I liked, and the second mistake was mentioning to him that I’d be interested in trying it. Now here I was, my private information made public on the internet, taking calls from internet strangers about something I divulged to someone I thought I could trust. Needing to change my number would most likely be the least of my worries.
By mid-morning, my insides were so twisted up with curiosity that I just had to call Grace back. For every reason that I came up with not to call back, there was a tiny voice in the back of my head, daring me to do it. ‘It’s just a phone call,’ it was saying. ‘Stop being a pansy and do it.’
I picked up and put the phone back down several times, feeling both hesitant and frustrated with myself. ‘Just call,’ the voice was saying, growing louder. ‘Never know until you try.’
Hitting the callback button, my stomach felt like it would drop out of me. What if this was another cruel joke that Joey was playing on me? What if I was walking into another trap of his?
Thoughts of Joey’s sick sense of humor started to fade when I heard the familiar soft voice of Grace on the other end.
“Hi,” I said. “This is Sammi, you rang me last night.”
Silence. ‘Now what?’ I thought. ‘Say something.’
“I know I told you that my ex placed that ad to get revenge on me, but if the ad says what I think it does, then I might have changed my mind.”
“Hang on,” Grace said. I heard the sounds of rustling and moving around on the other end until finally, I heard Grace’s voice again. “This isn’t a joke, is it?”
“Not a joke,” I assured her. “I mean, I know my ex put it up as a sort of joke, and I told you yesterday that it was him messing people around, but this has been a real fantasy of mine for so long, that even if he did put the ad up to get back at me, it’s kind of a good opportunity to fulfill the wish.”
“Why me?” Grace asked. “Why not any of the other numbers that called you?”
“Well,” I said. “Because you sounded the most genuine, and not just someone trying to find an easy lay.”
On the other end, Grace giggled softly. “I’ll need to talk to my boyfriend about this,” she said, the now-familiar uncertainty tainting her words. “He doesn’t finish work until late. Do you mind if we call you back tonight after ten?”
“Ten is fine.”
“We’ll speak then,” she said, quickly ending the call.
I looked at the old clock on the wall. Ten was still several hours away. I needed something to do, something to distract me. I didn’t want to be sitting here waiting for the phone call, counting down the slow, unmoving minutes until it got to ten pm. I was at risk of sending myself crazy with anticipation. I needed a distraction.
When an idea came to mind, I almost leapt across the room, opening up my laptop and slamming my fingers down onto the keys as I typed in my password. With the same frenzied feeling inside, I swiftly closed all the blinds in the living room, shrouding everything in soft darkness, the only light coming from the laptop. I was moving around like a madwoman, rushing from one thing to the next.
My excitement was electric, and perhaps if I concentrated hard enough, I could’ve made it come out of my fingertips in sparks or small bursts of lightning. I was almost squirming in my seat as the internet loaded up for me, my pussy needy with anticipation.
I typed in the all too familiar name of the porn website, and before my eyes in a matter of seconds, I saw thumbnails of people in various sexual poses. I scrolled up and down the homepage a few times, but nothing was taking my fancy.
I typed into the search bar what I was after, what I wanted my hungry eyes to devour, and I was not disappointed. Again, I clicked through a few pages, trying to find a video that would satisfy my porn viewing needs. I went back and forth between the pages, jumping from the fourth page back to the second, from the first page back to the fifth, and then back again.
Eventually, I chose a video that had a rather innocuous name. 'Mandy has fun.' I watched as a young nude couple had a make-out session on what seemed to be a rather small bed. The bed only seemed smaller as a second woman came into view and propped herself near the edge, a small vibrator in hand as she watched the show.
Impatiently, I skipped the video ahead. The first woman was now riding the male, who was reclining on the bed, while the other woman had the vibrator fastened to her clitoris, smiling while she watched, mewling and making soft noises of pleasure.
Absent-mindedly, I slid a hand inside my underwear and found my pussy already wet. A jolt shot through me as a finger ran over my clit. Slowly, I started rolling my hips, becoming more and more turned on as I watched the trio on the screen.
My cunt was needy as I skipped the video ahead again, dragging the mouse along the bottom of the screen. Playing with my clit, I was fit to explode as I saw the man declare he was going to cum inside the woman, while he fucked her from behind, his balls swinging as the camera was tilted up so everything could be seen.
The second woman was only just in view, as she pistoned two fingers in and out of her pussy, her own cries growing louder.
With a loud moan, the man unleashed a huge load of cum inside the woman, his balls tensing several times. Slowly, he pulled his cock out of her pussy, a few droplets of cum still leaking from the tip of his cock. He backed away, and the camera zoomed in on her freshly fucked and filled pussy.
Changing positions, the second woman now lay down on the bed, and, with her pussy full of cum, the younger of the two women hovered over the face of the brunette, who started eating her out. She seemed ravenous, as she ate the man’s cum from the freshly fucked pussy of the younger woman. Mandy has fun, indeed.
‘Holy Jesus,’ I thought, rubbing my clit faster. I closed my eyes, listening to the moans from the women on the screen. I imagined myself as that woman, getting fucked and then being eaten out. I wanted it to be me. Needed it to be me. I imagined Grace, faceless, buried in my pussy while she licked the cum out. God, I needed to cum. I could feel it welling up inside me. I was going to burst...
My phone rang, distracting me. I opened my eyes, snapping myself out of my daydream. The video stopped with the woman showing her now clean pussy to the camera, the other woman having licked everything up.
With a frustrated huff, I answered the phone. It was Grace.
“Hi,” she said. I heard her exhale loudly on the other end, and then take a deep breath in. “I’m just on a quick smoke break,” she explained. I had never imagined the faceless Grace as a smoker. It bothered me, and I didn’t know why. Grace being a smoker was not part of my fantasy. “I was thinking, I’m actually meeting Dan for a late lunch at Mason’s at about 1:30 before he starts work. You’re welcome to join us, so we can discuss everything then, rather than you waiting on a phone call later tonight.”
“Sounds good,” I said.
“Great,” she said, hanging up. Her quick hang-ups would be something I’d have to get used to.
My loins still throbbed with the need to release. I looked down at my pussy, the hair closer to my labia slick with my arousal. I looked back up at my computer screen, at the video that had ended only minutes ago. I sighed. The moment was gone. Closing down the screen, I shuffled off to have a shower.
It was cold inside Mason’s, the air hitting me as soon as I walked through the heavy swing doors. I rubbed at my forearms, as I felt the first pricks of chill against my skin. I looked around the small, near-empty restaurant. It was just after half-past one. Was I too early? Or were they running late?
A young woman in the far corner waving at me caught my attention. I smiled and walked over. Though they were only two or three years younger than me at most, I felt so much older sitting opposite them at the restaurant. They were just so trendy, and cool, and though I was only twenty-seven, I felt mature, and not in a good way. I felt so used up and world-weary, while Grace was so bright and optimistic about life.
She was a delicate little thing as if her features had been painted with the gentle hand from a fine brushstroke. Her gray gaze was steady, smiling, as she sat there, mostly unmoving. I, on the other hand, was nervous. Fidgeting. Touching everything, readjusting my position over and over again, moving in my seat. I tucked non-existent strands of hair behind my ears, a nervous habit I’d had for years. Grace was cool, collected, zen. She just let life happen.
I came away from the meeting happy with the outcome, but wondering when I had stopped being cool and trendy. How had I lost my lust for life? Had being with Joey really changed me that much? Was I such a cynical bitch now?
I was having second, third, and fourth thoughts the next day, telling myself that sometimes fantasies were better off staying inside the mind. I was telling myself to not get too excited, that somehow, knowing my luck, my expectations would not be met, that the entire thing would be one huge letdown.
By midday, I had convinced myself that either Grace or Dan would call, canceling on me. ‘No, sorry, lady whose ex put up a fake ad, we don’t want to go through with this anymore.’ By the time six rolled around, and I had to leave, I felt both relieved and anxious.
I knocked briskly on the front door and then looked back at the street, wondering if anyone had seen me arrive, convinced that they knew exactly why I was there. An old nosy neighbor would surely know what we were up to, and what our plans for the night would be. She would be waiting by the phone, ready to call her old crone friends and gossip about us disapprovingly. But the street behind me stayed silent. No old lady came out to tut at me or click her tongue.
Their house was chaotic inside; stacks of books everywhere, trinkets and ornaments lining the walls, shelves filled to the brim with knick-knacks. There was art everywhere. Nearly every section of free wall space had been taken up by artwork. Some of the prints I recognized; Escher, Van Gogh, others I didn’t. A mess of a piece, in particular, caught my eye, and I couldn’t decide if I liked it or not.
“A friend of ours is an artist,” Dan said. “He’s not very good and a lot of the time I don’t get his stuff, but doing his art makes him happy, and we like to support him.”
A glass of wine was pushed into my hand as I sat down on the small, faded plaid sofa behind me.
“Nervous?” Grace asked, breaking the silence.
“Yeah,” I admitted.
“Don’t be. Dan’s a very good lover.”
I looked from Dan to Grace, and then back again. He was perhaps the most visually interesting man I had ever laid eyes on. He was covered in tattoos, various bright and vivid colors jumping off his skin. I looked up his arms, trying to isolate something, anything, to see if I recognized it, but the most my eyes could pick out were a few koi fish.
Silently, Grace stood and went over to the stereo. After fiddling around for a few seconds, odd sounds started playing, a female voice that sounded half robotic interjecting every now and then.
“This is Laurie Anderson,” Grace said.
“I’m not familiar with her work.”
“It’s avant-garde,” said Dan.
The tension awkwardly broken, we casually chatted about work and our lives, while Laurie Anderson sang ‘O Superman’ in the background.
I could almost see myself, as if from above, sitting in a clutter-filled, poky apartment, drinking a red wine I couldn’t pronounce, listening to a strange woman sing a strange song. Twenty-two-year-old me would’ve been all over this, however, twenty-seven-year-old me felt even more uncool and out of date than ever before.
Out of body experience over, I was brought back down to earth when Grace asked me how I’d like to proceed with the evening.
“Sammi?”
“Oh yes,” I mumbled awkwardly. “I-I don’t know how I’d like to go about this.”
“Would you like it if Dan and I started? You can join in when you’re ready, or we can bring you in. If you’d like to sit back and watch, then that’s fine too. No pressure.”
“O-okay,” I said, hesitantly.
I watched as Grace and Dan stood, kissing passionately, their hands all over each other, urgent yet gentle. She started running her hands down his body, stopping at his crotch and squeezing. Looking up at him, Grace slowly sank to her knees. She unbuckled his belt, her eyes still on his, not moving her gaze. Unleashing his cock, she started sucking, and even I had to admit it was sexy as fuck.
Dan tilted his head back slightly, closing his eyes and letting out a low purr of satisfaction, toying with Grace’s soft blonde hair. He was gently rocking his hips back and forth as she sucked and licked, one hand at the base of his cock, the other teasing his balls.
Moving her hand away temporarily, she took his whole length in her mouth, the other hand aimlessly feeling his chest. When she hit the target she wanted, she pinched a nipple, trying to giggle around the cock down her throat.
I saw beads of saliva form and drip from Grace’s lips, running down her chin and onto the faded carpet below. The sounds of her wetly gagging on his cock were intoxicating, and I stood and slowly walked over to the pair. ‘Now what? What’s your next move going to be?’ I thought to myself. I couldn’t sit back down and be a spectator, not now. Not after standing and being this close to the action.
My initial nerves and hesitations were starting to wear away, and in their place, I felt a small sense of ease, as I grew more and more comfortable. Mixed in with the ease and starting to feel stronger and stronger, were the first pangs of arousal, as the show in front of me started to unfold.
Feeling a lot less dignified than Grace, I got to my knees in front of Dan, shoulder to shoulder with Grace. Popping the cock from out of her mouth, she offered it to me. I held it in my hand and quickly studied his member. Circumcised, just below average length, decent thickness.
“Oh don’t worry,” Grace said. “He’ll make you cum, his cock is great.”
My face flushed. Had disappointment registered on my face? How did she know? Was I that easy to read?
I looked down at his cock and opened my mouth, as it slid between my lips easily, and in no time at all, I too was taking his whole length, bobbing my head back and forth on his cock.
I felt movement beside me as Grace stood up again, kissing Dan passionately, and whispering dirty things in his ear, of which I could only make out every second or third word. He placed his hands on the back of my head and started thrusting into my mouth harder, as Grace teased him with promises of dirty sex.
Having what felt like my second out-of-body experience for the night, I saw myself down on my knees, sucking cock. I saw my face pressed to Dan's stomach. I saw my head bobbing back and forth on his cock, glistening with saliva when I took it out of my mouth and stroked it.
Tugging my arm, Grace pulled me up and I was once more, swiftly brought back to my senses. All three of us now standing, she asked if I was ready. Without any hesitation, I said yes, and as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I was being shown into the bedroom.
There was an old leather armchair in the corner, faded and much-loved. Sitting down, Grace crossed her legs and watched, breathing heavily, her tits rising and falling with each inhale and exhale, a small smile across her lips.
I lay on my back, now nude, legs spread, my pussy needy with the aroused ache to be filled with cock. Dan went over to Grace and the two had a short conversation in hushed tones. As he walked over to the bed, he ditched the last of his clothes, his cock pointing straight out in front of him, aiming itself at my pussy as he came closer to his target.
The head of his cock popped in with ease, and I moaned loudly, as the familiar feeling of being filled with cock rushed over me.
“Geez, you’re wet,” Dan said, pumping his cock in and out.
I mumbled my approval and closed my eyes, wanting to hone in on his fucking and concentrate solely on his cock, and how good it felt. In my mind, I could see images of the porn video playing out, and I had to wonder if we looked that sexy.
I saw visions in my head of the older woman getting herself off with her vibrator, while the other woman rode the guy furiously, milking his cock of every last drop of cum. I could hear the three of them moaning and groaning, as well as the sounds of flesh slapping against flesh, as the pair fucked, while the other woman watched.
My pussy clenched on Dan's cock, and I knew it wouldn't be long before I was cumming. His cock slipped out a few times and he swore under his breath, my pussy dripping wet. From over in the armchair, I heard Grace's soft giggles.
My hips started rolling and my pussy tingled, my body getting ready to cum. Throwing my head back, I opened my mouth and moaned loudly, a non-human sound escaping my lips as Dan pummeled my pussy. My legs shook as I came hard, Dan fucking me faster and faster. The video in my head was now playing the scene where the woman was eating the cum-filled pussy of the other, coaxing it out with her tongue, audibly enjoying it, and saying how much she loved it.
“Oh fuck,” said Dan. Snapped back to reality, I wrenched my eyes open, the bright light from the ceiling momentarily blinding me. I watched Dan’s face contort as his own orgasm escaped him, quicker than he had expected.
We both lay there motionless, catching our breath and waiting for our bodies to steady themselves again. Dan slid his cock out of me, the cool air on my wet, freshly fucked pussy causing me to gasp.
He stood back and smiled, no doubt admiring his handy work.
“Your turn,” he said to Grace.
I gasped again when I felt Grace’s warm, probing tongue on my pussy. Flicking my clitoris a few times, she then trailed her tongue downwards and lapped at my fuck hole, cleaning my pussy and eating her boyfriend's cum from inside me.
She teased me with her tongue, going between focusing on my clit, to licking my dripping pussy, and the combined juices of me and Dan. Grace expertly navigated my pussy, knowing exactly what to do and where to go, sending me closer and closer to the orgasmic edge.
“Oh God,” I muttered, feeling her warm mouth on my clitoris. I saw the video again in my head, saw the woman licking out all the cum that was leaking from the pussy in front of her.
“Mmmmmmm,” Grace said, making a show of swallowing everything loudly.
In my mind, I could hear the brunette from the porn video saying, “feed me, feed me,” as she feasted on the creampie-filled pussy in front of her. ‘Oh fuck!’ I thought. I didn’t need to imagine anymore. I was now that woman in the video, laying on the too-small bed, having her pussy ravished. I was the one having a gorgeous woman dive headfirst between my legs, swallowing everything I had to offer.
“Oh fuck,” I said, this time out loud.
Grace raised her head and looked up at me. “Cum,” she simply said. With her mouth back on my clitoris and a finger inside my pussy, my body tensed up for a second time, as I let go of my orgasm, my frustrations following along swiftly behind.
Utterly exhausted, I lay there limp, only having the barest amount of energy to hold my head up. Dan stood, his cock now hard again. He walked towards Grace and offered it to her.
“Ready for more?” He asked.
