I am in love with my boss! There I said it, even if it's only mentally. I really am in love with my boss! I know, dangerous and foolish territory -- but you should see her and get to know her. She's amazing!
Her name is Deanna, and yes there is more than a little teasing about a like-named Star Trek character because there is a resemblance. I think Dea is taller than Deanna Troi, but the dark hair, dark eyes, sexy smile, and similar builds make the comparison inevitable. What's amazing is that she is completely comfortable with who she is and when someone teases her, she laughs and gives as good as she gets. She's completely approachable on any subject -- well any professional subject. She avoids any discussion about her personal life. She's pretty amazing!
When I got the job I was warned to avoid getting attached! She tended to go through managerial assistants, some move on to more responsibility and some burnout. It's amazed a few people that I have lasted this long. There haven't been any openings for promotion and at the same time, even with our hectic travel schedule, she hasn't managed to burn me out. But I did receive heavy warnings that a number of the previous folks tried to get on her personal side and she dropped them like a rock. So other than the both of us teasing each other about our lack of personal lives, we tended to avoid the subject.
I didn't start out in love with her. Believe me, while she is physically stunning and smarter than hell — when you get tossed into the deep end of the pool you are too busy treading water to develop any feelings. During this time we did get to know each other and more than on superficial terms. Yea, I know how she likes her coffee, but I also know how she would react to almost every professional challenge. She's taught me a ton in the past year, and along the way, I fell for her. And from the looks of things, I fell hard and she hadn't changed one hair. I know she likes me, or I wouldn't still be here. But she never dropped a single hint on any deeper feelings. I have also not dropped any hints because by now I knew how she worked and if I did and she didn't reciprocate, I would be gone -- and that was something I didn't want!
But right now today I have to admit I love her, if to no one but myself, and it's because I am jealous as hell! I am jealous over . . . well, maybe nothing. Hell, you be the judge. Do I have anything to be jealous about? Here is what happened yesterday.
After 4 hours on the road, following a diverted plane trip, and a sincere effort to make a business meeting south of Atlanta, we found ourselves in the little town of Warner-Robins GA. A nice little town, but at midnight, it was hell for us. We found a hotel with available rooms, a Fairfield Inn— not great, but OK. We also found what had to be the only restaurant still open, at least according to the desk clerk. The downside was it was a Hooters. You might know the place. I'd never been in one, and I was pretty sure Dea hadn't either. But it was late; we were both pretty wound-up and hungry! And after taking one look at the place, we decided what the hell!
I was pleasantly surprised! I guess I had no real expectation since I had never been there. But it wasn't a strip bar minus a pole. It was a real sports bar type and the Hooters Girls did wear skin-tight tops and orange shorts that had to be three sizes too small, but it was nicer than I thought it would be. The real difference is there was a higher table to server ratio, which provided a little time for each server to sit down and socialize a bit. It was a surprisingly relaxing place! After a beer, I could see the tension leaving Dea as well.
Our Hooter's Girl was Stephanie, and there was something I didn't pick up on right away until she sat on the stool next to Dea and I could see them together. Stephanie was Dea, maybe about 15 years ago, but the resemblance was even more remarkable than the one between Dea and Deana Troi. Even the voices were similar, minus Stephanie's very lovely drawl. We talked a bit and we learned a little about her, and she learned probably more about us. She thought it was so cool that Dea was the boss, and they had a nice conversation about being a female exec in a male-dominated business. Stephanie wasn't going to be a server forever, while she had a son, she was trying her best to squeeze in college and work as a single mother. After a while, I saw myself being ... well not so much being left out, it was just the two ladies hit it off. So much so that another Hooter's girl, Gail, brought our next round of drinks. I think she and Stephanie were friends because I didn't see any of the other girls even approaching another girl's territory. But Gail gave Stephanie a nice hug before going off.
None of this was a big deal until I was looking up at one of the TV's and saw Stephanie walk away out of the corner of my eye and realized Dea was watching her. Not just watching her, but watching her ass! Now I will admit it was a world-class ass, the idea of Dea watching it was a surprise, to say the least! I had to avert my eyes or she might have realized I saw it. It took a few minutes for the feelings to settle. Was Dea gay? It was something that had never occurred to me before. She was . . . Dea. Was it important? Well, I think it was, but mostly because of my feelings. She certainly figured largely in my fantasy life. The girls I had dated in the past year all seemed to be pallid comparisons, Dea was special!
And here was Dea, my Dea. looking at the tail end of a gorgeous girl with a very unprofessional look on her face. And I was not comfortable with what I saw.
We didn't stay until closing because we did have to get up and drive to our meeting this morning and it was several hours away. But Dea was torn and indecisive, something else I had never seen from her before. That's when the idea of jealousy occurred to me. I was a bit annoyed because I wanted her to look at me like that. I wanted her to be indecisive about leaving me. But no, she was acting this way toward — well I was going to say a waitress, but that would be unfair. Stephanie, in her way, was almost as spectacular as Dea, which a hard thing for me to admit! That's when I knew I was in real trouble because I liked her too! My eyes had watched her walking several times; I just never realized that Dea's were pointed in the same direction. Thank God this wasn't a strip bar or Dea might have been asking me for singles, and I would have been giving them to her. So should I be jealous?
Okay, the next day went pretty well. We got where we needed to be. But once the meeting was over, there was a hesitation about Dea again. As we got in the car, she decided to drive, and instead of turning toward the local airport, the place where we couldn't fly into yesterday due to weather, she took us back on the highway leading to the Interstate that led back to Warner-Robins. I was stunned! She never said anything; she just turned that way like it had been the plan the whole time. She wouldn't even meet my eyes, which is another very un-Dea-like thing. I tried to find words, but they wouldn't come. I felt her nervousness grow and went looking for a way to relieve it for her, but nothing came to mind.
At the hotel again, she opened up. "You know why we are here?"
I didn't say anything right away.
"Look, Alan, I'm not sure what you are thinking and usually we can read each other well. You do know why I am here, right?"
"I think I do. She was a pretty interesting young lady. What I am not sure about is why I'm here."
"I thought about that too. I thought a lot about that." Dea said.
The silence dragged on.
"Alan, I like you, I do. I really like the way we've worked together. I also know you like me, and maybe like is the wrong word. I also respect you for not allowing that to interfere with our work. But I really, really like Stephanie. I don't know what may come of it. Maybe she just did a masterful job at her job, but I need to find out. I also think that if we are going to keep working together, I can't hide this from you. So I guess we could kill two birds with one stone. I am going to go across the street and see Stephanie again. You can come with me, or you can go someplace else. If you want to resign tomorrow, that okay. I won't like it, but I will understand."
"So you are a lesbian?"
"That's the screwy part. No, I'm not, at least not until I met her. I can't get her face out of my head. I've never met anyone like her."
"I have."
"Who?"
I flipped the rearview mirror and Dea was looking right at herself. Then I got out of the car and opened her door for her.