In Chapters 1 through 3: After receiving news that my father had a stroke, my stepson and I were placed in the unusual and uncomfortable situation of sharing a hotel room on the trip to see my father. On the first night, the only hotel we could with a vacancy, only had rooms with one king sized bed. There were no rooms with two beds available. Bryan and I were forced to share a bed.
In a moment of incredible weakness, and incredibly poor judgment, I made a series of bad decisions, each one progressively worse. It culminated in me allowing my stepson to enter me wearing an old condom he had stored in his wallet for more than a year.
I can claim it was a combination of my emotional state, alcohol and months of loneliness that led me to this sinful act, but those are excuses.
I did the unthinkable. But despite the fact that I knew this was terribly wrong, I responded to my stepson's sexual advances and I had one of the most powerful orgasms of my life as Bryan lost his virginity to his stepmother. It was a wonderfully fulfilling experience, both physically and emotionally. But my post coital bliss was quickly shattered.
I lay in Bryan's arms, atop him, with his erection still pulsing deep inside me for several minutes savoring the sinful but pleasurable act we had just consummated. I loved the feeling of his penis throbbing inside me as we both slowly descended from the throes of ecstasy.
Finally, I raised myself up, de-coupling from my stepson. Bryan's penis made a distinct 'flopping sound' as it slapped against his stomach. My pussy spasmed from the sudden emptiness, it seemed to be seeking something to grasp. As Bryan exited me, a flood of fluid poured from my gaping vagina!
A large glob on my stepson's semen poured from my pussy and landed on Bryan's abdomen. Momentarily, I was confused. How could this happen?
Oh my God! I looked at Bryan's naked, unprotected cock in absolute horror. The rubber had broken! The condom had ruptured during our love making! Shit, shit, shit. The latex sheathe was a mere ring around the base of Bryan's cock. Bryan had pumped my fertile womb full of his sperm.
Damn, damn, damn. My womb was brimming full of potent semen!
I literally screeched, "Bryan, the rubber broke!"
Bryan's face suddenly turned white. There was genuine fear in his eyes as he stared at his naked, unprotected cock with the latex ring at the base.
"Brenda, I did not know. I am sorry. I did not know it broke." Bryan seemed to be pleading for forgiveness for something that was not his fault. Instantly he changed from my lover to my little boy asking to be forgiven.
"It's not your fault. How could I have been so stupid?" I bolted to the bathroom were I squatted in the tub, trying to squeeze the large volume of semen out of my dilated womb. Large globs did drain out of me, with long strings of semen slowly dripping in long viscous strings from my well fucked cunt.
Bryan stood by naked, as he watched me attempting to squeeze his sperm from my vagina. He obviously did not know how to react, or what to do; so he simply watched.
I turned the water on full force and adjusted the temperature. I positioned my pussy under the tub nozzle, my legs pointed towards the ceiling against the tub wall. A powerful stream of warm water flowed in and out of me, rinsing my vagina and uterus.
Bryan stood silently as I tried to wash his invading sperm from my womb. I could see his penis arch up and grow in response to the actions he was witnessing.
The little bastard was getting a hard-on watching my gyrations. Even with the threat of pregnancy hanging over him, he still was thinking with the 'little head'. I could not believe he could grow aroused at this moment as he watched me rinse his semen from my gaping vagina. I guess teenage boys do not think about the ramifications of their actions, huh?
But just as I was getting irritated with Bryan's inability to comprehend the seriousness of our situation, I realized that as an adult, I was far more culpable than he was. I allowed my emotions and need for his closeness lead me into this crisis. No, I was in no position to criticize anyone for letting lust and emotion cloud their judgment.
I quickly did a mental calculation and concluded that it had been 23 days since my last period; I should be past my fertile period, but who knew for sure? I was not very regular. But I should be starting my period in a matter of days. I should be safe...
How could I have been so stupid?
"Bryan, I need to go across the street and talk with the pharmacist. I will be back shortly." Bryan simply nodded as he stepped into his boxer shorts.
I put on my panties, bra, pulled on my jeans and donned my t-shirt. I grabbed the room key and headed out the door. I literally ran across the parking lot towards the pharmacy across the street. I cornered the pharmacist, a kindly looking, elderly man in his mid to late 60's, and explained that I just had a condom 'rupture' during sex and was panic stricken.
I tried to maintain my composure, but as I explained the 'ruptured condom' to him, without giving any indication that it was my stepson's penis that was deep inside me when the condom ruptured, I started to cry.
I was after 10:00 p.m. and there was no one else other than the gentleman and myself in the pharmacy at the time He stepped from behind the counter to comfort me. He placed his arm around me as I cried, my tears soaking his shoulder. "I feel so damn stupid for letting this happen." I sobbed trying to regain my composure.
The man, whose name I never got, reminded me of my own father. The fact that my own father was lying in hospital bed only served to heighten my emotional release.
"Honey, this will be OK. The condom broke; they do break occasionally. We can take care of this," he said as he gently rubbed my head trying to reassure me. I will never forget his kindness.
He continued, "I can fix you up with emergency contraception that is highly effective in preventing pregnancy. It is simple and safe. But you need to take it immediately. It is a concentrated dose of estrogen and progestin. It will prevent ovulation, and implantation. The only real side effect is you may experience some nausea."
He was kind, and caring. He gave me the single dose pill, which I took immediately at the water fountain in the pharmacy. He then gave me a 90 day supply of ongoing birth control pills.
"But honey, the birth control pills will prevent pregnancy, but they are not reliably effective until seven days from the time you start taking them. And, even after that time, you still need to use condoms to protect yourself from disease," he advised. He directed me to the aisle where the condoms were stored.
I nodded indicating that I understood, and went over and selected 3 dozen Trojan Magnums; the exact label and type that my husband, Jim, had used prior to getting his vasectomy.
The pharmacist looked surprised at this particular purchase. I tried to discern if it was the fact that I was buying three dozen condoms that surprised him. Was he shocked at my need for 36 prophylactics?
He held up one of the boxes, and after a moment's hesitation said, "Honey, I do not mean to pry, but do you realize these are very large, actually extra large, condoms. They are for a very 'well endowed' man. These will simply fall off a normal sized man. Are you sure you want these, or did you mean to buy regular condoms."
I thought about the dimensions of my stepson's erect penis, and concluded that, yes, Bryan needed these extra large condoms. I concluded that one of the reasons the condom broke tonight is that it was undersized; we simply stretched it too far.
Bryan was at least seven inches long, perhaps eight inches. And his girth was at least 2 1/2 inches in diameter. Bryan was definitely as big, or bigger than my husband; and Jim needed these Magnums.
I blushed deeply. "These are what I will need."
A huge smile broke across his face. "Well, if that is the case, you have found someone who is actually as large as I used to tell people I was; but I was exaggerating greatly! I never actually knew anyone who could actually fill these." He was obviously amused with my sex life.
I could feel my face burning with embarrassment as he referred to the large size of Bryan's penis with some degree of envy. I thought to myself how different his reaction would be if he knew that this very large penis that could fill me up so nicely actually belonged to my sixteen year old stepson! Would he still admire my good fortune? Or would he be saying 'you sick, sick woman; you should be in prison'? I suspected it would be the latter.
I was ashamed of what I had done. I was ashamed that I was buying three dozen more condoms in preparation of doing it again, repeatedly. I knew that I should stop this insane nonsense; end this evil debauchery. But I also knew that I could not count on my will power, or Bryan's restraint to avoid a repeat.
I do not know about other women, but I seem to be unable to resist any man who has made me cum. I seem to become instantly obsessed with that man; almost as though he has a strange power over me, a power I am unable to resist. In a sense, I become his.
In this case, that man was my stepson. And that came with emotional baggage that seemed to make me even more susceptible to being obsessed and vulnerable.
In a very real sense, Bryan now owned a part of me from that moment forward. I knew as I was standing there buying these condoms and birth control pills, I was acknowledging the fact that I would take my stepson inside me again. I was his; I belonged to him now. I could try to resist, and try to deny this powerful attraction I felt towards my stepson; however, his ability to produce powerful orgasms in me provided him a unique power over me.
I thanked the pharmacist, and I left the store. As I carried the plastic bag of contraceptives across the parking lot back to the hotel room where Bryan waited nervously, I tried to process what had happened over the past two days, and what the future held. How did I ever get so damned fucked up that I was allowing my stepson to enter me?
I arrived back at the room, and placed the bag of contraceptives on the dresser. Bryan was very curious about the events at the pharmacy. I could see the concern, bordering on panic that was dominating my stepson's attention. I felt the need to allow him to relax, to assure him everything was going to be okay.
I shared the emergency contraception details with him. I assured him that the risk of pregnancy had been removed.
Bryan was still in a state of shock, and was trying to determine if he was 'in trouble' with me, or I was mad at him for the unfortunate rupture of the condom. I felt an overwhelming need to comfort him, to reassure him that he had not done anything wrong; that it was me, not him, who acted inappropriately.
Sitting on the bed next to him, we talked for a long time. He was still just wearing his boxers. Every few moments, as we talked, I would see the crotch of Bryan's boxers twitch and pulse. He was still semi-erect. I wondered if he was like this all the time? Did my sixteen year old stepson always have as semi-rigid cock throbbing in his pants? Do all sixteen year old men have this problem to deal with? For a brief moment I had an appreciation how tough it must be to be a sixteen year old man, or 'soon to be man', with all these hormones raging through your system, and the associated urges that came with them.
I apologized to Bryan for my inappropriate behavior. I tried to put it in perspective; I tried to explain to Bryan, while trying to convince myself, that I allowed this to happen because I was lonely and grief stricken. I had simply turned to the wrong person for emotional and physical comfort.
Bryan seemed to sense that I was overwhelmed with guilt, and I needed comforting again. "Brenda, I know you are feeling bad about what happened, but it was not wrong. I needed you every bit as much as you needed me. I wanted you as much as you wanted me. I needed you to need me the way you did. It was beautiful."
I reached over and took his hands in mine. "Bryan, I know that is what you are feeling right now, and I appreciate you wanting to be there for me, but I was wrong."
I could feel my tears welling up in my eyes, my voice was starting to quiver as I tried to speak calmly. "Bryan, I am supposed to protect you, not become a sexual predator that uses you for my own emotional crutch."
"Brenda, that is not how it was. I initiated it. And it was beautiful to me. And neither of us used the other. We shared something beautiful with someone we love. We expressed our love. And, no matter what, I do not want to stop sharing our love; I can't stop. I need to be with you."
I could see tears forming in Bryan's eyes as he spoke. My stepson was starting to cry as he told me how much he loved me, how much he needed me, how beautiful he felt our intimate relationship was. Bryan's tears triggered the flood gates of my own emotions.
Tears started streaming down both our faces as we held each others hands. Bryan leaned forward and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him back.
Bryan's hand slowly rose up and cupped my breast. "Oh Bryan, you can't do this...we can't do this. After what just happened, we cannot start this again."
I knew I should have removed his hand from my breast. I paused as I tried to garner the strength to end this encounter before it got too far. But I could not do it. Try as I might, I could not resist my need to be touched at that moment. The temptation was simply too great; the pleasure too enticing.
I knew I had the 'safety net' of the bag of condoms sitting on the dresser. And that knowledge, coupled with the knowledge that I had just taken the 'emergency contractive pill', removed the threat of pregnancy, and along with it, any feeling of urgency on my part to prevent a recurrence.
I allowed his hand to caress my breast, knowing full well that it could lead to more inappropriate behavior between us.
My nipple quickly grew erect as his fingers slowly teased and pulled on it through my bra. I just hugged him and sobbed in an emotional released, my tears soaking his chest and shoulder, while I allowed my teenage stepson to feel me up.
With his other hand, Bryan placed his fingers under my chin and raised it.
